Just Haven't Met You Yet
by Blitz Chick
Summary: A Commander and a C-Sec officer discuss why their relationships haven't worked. What may have happened between the two during ME1 and ME2. You should listen to the various songs while reading. NOW COVERING ME3! WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!
1. Just Haven't Met You Yet

_**Just Haven't Met You Yet**_

Garrus Vakarian was bored. Of course, filling out paperwork and putting together data files always bored the Turian, but he just wanted to get going. If his boss accepted his meager findings on Seren, or even better gave him more time, it could be the biggest break in his career at C-Sec.

"Hey, Vakarian!"

Blinking his ice blue eyes, Garrus glanced up from the upload bar on his data pad to see another Turian leaning against the doorway to his office. Quickly, Garrus flared his mandibles in a smile as he stood. "Caius, what are you doing here? I thought you were helping with an arrest."

Shrugging his broad shoulders, the other Turian stepped closer. "Eh, they didn't need me. Thought I'd come by, walk you to the Citadel Tower. I know you're presenting your findings on Seren today."

Deftly, he snatched the data pad up, Garrus nodded. "Sure. I could use a way to kill time anyway."

The pair made their way through the halls of C-Sec, Caius nudged Garrus, a devious glint sparkling in his eyes. "So…how was the date last night?"

With a heavy groan, Garrus shook his head. "Caius, that was the worst encounter of my life. We had nothing in common."

Pouting, Caius shook his head. "Garrus, you say that about every woman I set you up with. Come on man, is there something wrong with them or what?"

In a gesture of defeat, Garrus shook his head as they stepped into the elevator that would take the pair to the main offices in the wards. "No, no, it's nothing like that. I mean, I appreciate what you're doing but…"

"But you feel like there isn't a woman out there for you?"

Garrus sighed, rubbing the leathery hide at the back of his neck. "No, nothing like that. I'm just not surprised that nothing has lasted yet."

Confused, Caius tilted his head and pressed his mandibles close to his jaw. "I don't understand Vakarian."

Staring out at the walls that rushed past them on their descent, Garrus shrugged. "I dunno… I feel like I talk myself into being in love, and then I just get let down."

The other Turian tried to catch his friend's ice blue eyes as he leaned forward. "I'm sensing a 'but' here…"

* * *

"Come on Commander, there has to be at least one man you've been with who was husband material."

Chuckling, Commander Erin Shepard stepped out of the Normandy's airlock, glancing back at her LT, Kaidan Alenko and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. "Not really. After getting my heart broken so many times, I just stopped keeping track."

The dark haired woman fell in stride with her commander. "But you have had some boyfriends, right?"

Poor Kaidan. This conversation was going places he didn't want it to go at all and now there was no stopping it. The brunette commander pushed a few strands behind her ear. "Well yeah, but after so many bad ones, I ended up being the one to talk myself out of the relationship because I'd get so worked up about it. I felt like I would make a million excuses to get out of there."

The trio stepped into the elevator that would take them to the C-Sec academy, watching the walls slide past them as they conversed. Kaidan finally spoke up, his tone hesistant. "But you do think there is someone out there, right Commander?"

As the doors opened into the C-Sec offices, Erin turned and beamed at her team. "Of course. I know that someday I'll meet someone and it'll all turn out. And when we're together, he'll make me work so that we both can work it out."

Rolling her eyes, Ashley smiled. "Trust my commander to be such an idealist."

* * *

As the elevator opened onto the main floor, Garrus took the lead, a gleam entering his eyes. "In the past I always tried so hard not to lose a relationship. When they didn't work out, I thought that was it, but I realize that I hadn't thought of every possibility."

The two headed past the elevator to the docking bays as they began to hiss open, while Garrus took the stairs up to the wards two at a time. Caius struggled to keep up, panting at the top of the stairs. "Ok, I'll bite Vakarian. What is this new possibility."

Garrus seemed to stand a little taller, a triumphant look about him. "I just haven't met her yet."

With a deadpan look, Caius straightened. "Are you serious?"

Garrus once more took the lead, heading for the door to the procedium with a nod. "It sounds crazy, but I know that when I meet her, I'll give so much more than I get from her. Sure, I might have to wait, but part of it is luck anyways."

Following his friend, Caius sighed. "Garrus, women aren't just going to fall out of the sky and be right for you. What if this girl is someone you've already met, but it just wasn't right at the time?"

The blue eyed Turian set his jaw. "No way. I can feel it. When it's right, she'll come out of nowhere and into my life."

* * *

"But what if he's taken? Wouldn't it be better to aim for someone who isn't already involved?" Kaidan seemed to be pleading with the commander. It was a little sad really, considering how poorly hidden his affections were.

Erin gazed up at the artificial blue sky above them, thoughtful but determined. "Nobody calls me for an easy job Kaidan, why should love be any different? I'll never give up, and after that it's just time."

Ashley stared at her commander's back, her arms laced over her chest. "The universe is a really big place commander. You'll be waiting a long time for that guy to just come waltzing into your life."

Turning, Shepard's clear blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "Wherever he is, I'll find him. And when we're together, it'll be amazing."

Kaidan studied the commander with his dark eyes, hope gleaming in their depths. "Sounds like he'll be a soldier of some sort…someone on the crew?"

The dark haired soldier nudged Kaidan in the ribs, a smirk spread across her face. "Don't you wish?"

Ignoring the pair, Erin paused to study the lake that ran along the walkway. "I guess that's one possibility…but I'm trying to see all of them. He could be anyone…a crewmate, a civilian, maybe even a superior."

"You do know that fraternization isn't exactly welcomed in the Alliance, no matter if you're commanding officer or not." Ashley pointed out, peering down at the shimmering water below them.

With a shake of her head, the commander leaned back, watching a pair of Turian officers hurry past them towards the Citadel Tower. Of course she knew that, she'd been serving since she was eighteen, but the thought always gave her a little thrill. Let it never be said that the commander took the safest route. "Well, you know what they say. All's fair in love and war. Either way, I'm not too concerned. I haven't met him yet, but when I do, we'll get it right the first time."

Kaidan motioned towards the Citadel Tower as he straightened up. "Come on, we don't want to be too late."

* * *

Hurrying past a trio of humans that seemed to be captivated by the lake, Caius shook his head at Garrus. "Man, you're way too idealistic. Love just isn't like that."

Garrus twitched his mandibles into a frown. "Well, what about you and Cassia? You love her, and after you met her you changed, right?"

Poor Caius would have been blushing if he'd had the ability. "Well, yeah. She made me a better Turian…a better man."

Elegantly sidestepping into the elevator, Garrus transferred his data pad from one talon to the other. "See? That's how I know it's her. Being in love with her will change me…make me better. And it'll all turn out because we both will work to make sure it works out."

With one of his free talons Caius rubbed his fringe, slightly skeptical of his friend. "I see your point, but Garrus, Cassia and I have had our fair share of fights too. It's not like it's all great. You will have disagreements."

Adamantly, Garrus shook his head with a triumphant smirk. "We won't need to fight. We'll know better and eventually, we'll be united."

With a ping, the elevator doors slid open, and Caius sighed, waving a hand. "Go on, present your findings to the Executor. I wish you luck…with everything."

Nodding, Garrus turned to go, pausing halfway through the motion as Caius called after him.

"Oh, Garrus! I hear that human, Commander Shepard, she's on the Citadel today. Maybe you'll run into her!"

Allowing himself a melodious chuckle, the Turian turned and made his way towards his boss, already forming his argument as he went.

* * *

The ride up the council chamber was surprisingly quiet. Shepard could feel Kaidan's eyes on her back, while Ashley stared at Kaidan. Talk about awkward love triangles…poor Kaidan. She just didn't like him like that…although the commander was more than willing to give her Gunnery Chief a shot at the biotic.

Leading the way out onto the floor, Erin paused. Up ahead, two Turians seemed to be in the midst of a disagreement. One wore the traditional blue and black armor of C-Sec while the other seemed to be wearing a more official uniform, leading the commander to believe that this was a work matter.

"Dammit, just give me a little more time!"

As she approached, the other Turian waved a hand. "Absolutely not. Your investigation is over Officer Vakarian."

Garrus froze mid turn. Standing before him was a human female with short, chocolate brown hair and light blue eyes. Quickly recalling the few vids he'd seen on the extranet, Garrus nodded. "Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Seren."

Erin took a moment to study the Turian before her. His skin was a light tan-gray, and his face was covered in bold cobalt blue tattoos. With a quick gesture towards the other Turian, she frowned. "Why'd he stop you? Did you find anything useful?"

The Turian felt disappointed as he shook his head. Here he was, conversing with Commander Shepard and he couldn't even give her anything useful. "No. As a Spectre, Seren's activities are mostly classified. But I know he's up to something."

Loudly clearing his throat, Kaidan nodded at the brunette. "Commander, we should go. Captain Anderson should be waiting for us."

"You should go. Good luck with the council."

Commander Shepard smiled, catching Garrus's talon with her hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you Officer Vakarian."

Flaring his mandibles in surprise, Garrus nodded. "Garrus. And the pleasure was mine Commander."

Garrus paused, chancing a look back as he moved towards the elevator. Despite her fame, Commander Shepard was a confident woman…and she didn't seem to mind he was an alien either. Curling his talons into his palm, he watched her for a few more seconds before turning towards the elevator.

The commander paused on the steps, taking a moment glanced back to where Garrus waited for the elevator. He was polite and professional…and quite charming for a Turian. With a quick peek at her hand, she smiled. His grip had been firm and surprisingly warm. Making her way up the steps, she let the smile broaden a little. She just hoped that she would get the chance to see him again.

_I just haven't met you yet…_


	2. Overrated

This chapter was inspired by the song "Overrated" by Thriving Ivory

Edited because I fail.

_**Overrated**_

Two weeks.

That's exactly how long it had been since Garrus Vakarian's life had been turned upside down and inside out. In a whirlwind of events, he had ended up leaving C-Sec against his father's wishes and joined up with Commander Shepard to fight against Seren.

Most of his days were spent working on the Mako down in the cargo hold. It was as if Shepard specialized in nearly destroying the damn thing…still, he couldn't help but chuckle as he tightened a few loose bolts. To tell the truth, he didn't mind the work since it kept him busy and he loved to watch Shepard's face when she drove.

The brunette seemed to take some sort of strange pride in how dangerously she could drive, purposely driving them off the highest cliffs she could find. As they free-fell through strange atmospheres, Garrus would sneak peeks at her face, completely lit up with delight and on one occasion he thought he'd heard her giggling.

Extracting himself from beneath the six wheeled behemoth, Garrus wiped the grease from his hands and glanced at the clock. The Normandy was set to a 24 hour biorhythm, so every twelve hours the lights would dim and the night shift would take up their posts. Upon seeing that Ashley Williams was gone as well as Wrex, the Turian sighed. Once again, he'd lost track of time beneath the Mako and missed dinner.

After tossing the rag he'd used to wipe off his hands aside, Garrus wearily made his way into the elevator, punching in his destination as the Normandy's second deck. Gazing at the walls as they slid past, the Turian couldn't help but smile at the thought of food and how much care Shepard had put into getting his food…

* * *

_"Garrus!"_

_ Garrus whipped around, finding himself face to face with his commanding officer. Of course he hadn't been aboard more than three days, but leave it to Shepard to be on first name terms with her whole team. Her clear blue eyes beamed up at him and she held onto their Quarian engineer, Tali, by her hand._

_ With a lightning fast movement, she grabbed the Turian's wrist, dragging him away from the Mako despite his protests and into the elevator. "Come on Vakarian, I have something to show you both."_

_ The pair cast glances at each other behind the commander's back. She was rarely this enthusiastic, usually preferring to keep her emotions in check. Still, if she was this excited, the least they could do would be to go along with it and see what had her so happy._

_ Before he knew it, Shepard was dragging him across the crew deck, towards the kitchen. For a human, Shepard was pretty strong, even for a straight shooting soldier such as herself. Finally releasing them, she flung open the fridge with delight. "Ta-dah!"_

_ Puzzled, the pair peered into the fridge, letting the cool air lap at their faces. Tali was the first to speak. "Shepard, what exactly am I looking at?"_

_ Propping her head on her arms, Shepard smiled broadly. "It's your food! I took a little side trip to the wards on the Citadel and I was able to find some food for the two of you. You know, since you two are dextro-amino based."_

_ With a quick step around the door, she pulled out two containers, one sealed with a blue lid, the other with a purple. "See? The blue ones are just plain old dextro-amino based food for you Garrus, while the purple ones are specially made for Tali."_

_ He took the proffered container, turning it over. Truth be told, the contents looked a lot better than the slop he was used to seeing on ships that weren't used to dextro – amino based life. And the fact that she'd made a special trip just to get food for them said a hell of a lot about the commander's personality. Shepard continued on. "See, Tali, yours are specially made and sterilized so you don't have to worry about it so much. And some of them are even pre-made meals, just open and eat!"_

_ Although it was difficult to judge the Quarian's expression through the mask, Garrus could tell she was blushing. "Shepard, you didn't…thank you."_

_ Shepard's smile stopped Garrus dead as she beamed at the pair. "It's the least I can do to thank you two for coming with me. Don't worry about it."_

_

* * *

_

The containers made a dull plastic clatter as Garrus shifted through them in search of something appealing. Of course it was all good, but there was one container he'd hidden in the back that was full of some yellow fruits that the commander said had reminded her of grapes. Whatever the hell a 'grape' was, Garrus would never know.

Upon extracting the container, Garrus straightened triumphantly, turning only to jump a foot in the air.

Commander Shepard blinked up at him from her position at the breakfast bar only a few feet away. Clasped between Erin's hands she cradled her favorite blue mug and a few curls of steam rose from it. "Oh, sorry Garrus…I thought you'd seen me."

Slowly shaking his head, Garrus opened his container. "No, no, sorry, you surprised me."

Taking only the smallest of moments to check the clock, Garrus couldn't help but twitch his mandibles into a frown. It was almost 2230 zulu, meaning it was almost 10:30 by human time. Cautiously, Garrus settled himself across from Erin, his ice blue eyes studying her. "You're up pretty late commander."

Commander Shepard chuckled weakly, gazing into her mug. Her night clothes were very different from her day attire. A soft gray t-shirt hung off one shoulder, obviously too big for her. Navy blue sweatpants with a white SR1 stenciled on the bottom of the left leg just showed her bare toes peeping out from beneath the hem. Chocolate brown locks seemed tousled instead of perfectly combed behind her ears.

Blowing on the steaming liquid before taking a sip, Shepard sighed. "Couldn't sleep."

"Want to talk about it?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Instantly clamping his mandibles shut, Garrus mentally berated himself. Stupid, you couldn't be so forward with a commanding officer! Never mind the fact that she makes you feel so warm and comfortable and like this is home…

A wry smile flitted across Erin's face before she cast her gaze towards the Turian. "Would you believe I have nightmares?"

Well now. That was a new one. Garrus' surprise must have shown, because Shepard shook her head, chuckling softly into her mug. "I do…mostly about Earth…now the Protheans too. Damn beacon…"

Realization hit Garrus hard as he watched her slowly sip her drink. She had taken so much time to figure out what her whole crew liked, but not a single one of them had returned the favor. Sure, she could pretend to be strong, big, scary Commander Shepard to the rest of the known universe, but here, sitting at a breakfast bar in the dead of night…

Well, here she was just Erin Shepard. A woman who looked so small and scared and tired it was almost heartbreaking.

"What was it like?"

Sharply glancing up at Garrus, Erin's brows knitted together as the Turian rambled on, obviously a little embarrassed. "I mean, growing up on Earth. Well, I mean, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand I just feel…"

He trailed off, not because he'd realized he was rambling, but because Erin was laughing. As her giggles died away, she wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, I'm so sorry Garrus…it's just that you were so funny…"

Using her hand to smother another giggle, she took a deep breath before sobering up. "It was…well, it was hard. No father, killed before I knew him, mom disappeared. I basically lived on the streets. Every day was a struggle to keep out of the gangs and keep yourself fed."

"How long did you live like that?"

Shepard shrugged, swirling the last remnants of her drink. "Well, mom left when I was four…so about thirteen years?"

Inhaling sharply, Garrus had to force himself to release his hold on the container of food, lest he break it. But if the commander noticed, she didn't let on. With another shrug, she continued on, staring at the last bit of her drink as if she were relaying the story it was telling.

"I guess I didn't mind…but then again, I didn't know any better. When I was seventeen I got hurt in a fight…I put myself between a little boy and a mugger with a knife. That's how I got this."

Under the light, the pink scar tissue was barely visible, but Shepard traced a smooth crescent line that rested beneath her left eye. It was almost bisected by another, smaller crescent that ran for almost a half inch down her cheekbone.

While he'd seen his fair share of scars, the fact it was so close to her ice blue eyes caused Garrus to squirm. "I heard you got that on Akuze."

"Yes and no. This part," her finger traced the vertical part of the scar, "was from Akuze. It just ran into the older one and when it healed, it was like they were made at the same time. But when I got this one, I was young. Ended up in a some sort of hospital or refugee center, I couldn't really tell. This nurse, Alicia, she took care of me until I could get back on my feet...even took me in for a while. She was about five or six years older than me, but she had her own apartment and job and stuff. Apparently I reminded her of a sister that died in some sort of gang incident. But I stayed with her and learned all sorts of things like science and about religion before I turned eighteen and joined the Alliance."

"Wait," Garrus held up a hand, more than a little intruiged, "You said religion. You're religious?"

With a snort, Erin leaned back. "Oh hell no. What kind of merciful God would let so many kids live like I did, in the slums? No, I never bought into it…but I did kind of like the idea of her angels."

Upon seeing the confusion on her Turian companion's face, Erin explained. "Alicia said that God had many different angels that did different things. Most were the little kind that just fluttered around and stuff…guardian angels she called them. She always told me that my guardian angel must've been doing a good job since it brought the two of us together. I didn't buy it, since they were supposed to look out for people, but I liked the stories she told about the archangels."

"What made them different?"

Erin took a moment to drain her mug and study Garrus. He was so curious, his ice blue eyes bright and his mandibles fluttering in anticipation. It was so sweet that he actually wanted to know about her. "Archangels were basically great big warriors who fought with the forces of evil. They struck down the wicked and fought for good. Whether they existed or not, I didn't care, I liked the image. If the Normandy wasn't already named, I would've called her Archangel, because from this ship we're going to take a lot of evil out of this world."

Tilting the mug back, Erin frowned. "Dammit…I should make some more coco…"

"I'll do it."

And before she could object, Garrus had slid out of his seat and was padding around, opening cabinets, searching for something, anything that would help him. Shielding her mouth with her hand to hide a giggle, Erin smiled a little.

"There's a little tin of powder there, right by your hand. Take it out, and then get some milk from the fridge and fill the mug."

Almost filling the mug to the brim, Garrus fumbled with the tin of powder. "Ok, so I just pout this in?"

Shepard laughed, a few strands of hair falling in her eyes. "No! Goodness no, just a few –"

Too late. Garrus had poured almost a quarter of the powder onto the counter, and a quarter of that had made it into the mug. Sheepishly he glanced at Shepard, who was almost beside herself at this point.

"Ok, I guess that works too. Now just heat it on the stove until it starts to bubble."

Little luck, the poor Turian had. He'd taken his eyes off the mixture for only a moment and it was bubbling over. Snatching it off, he earned a singed talon, but as he turned to apologize to Shepard, the words died in his throat.

Caught in fits of laughter, Erin Shepard was a totally different person. Tears of mirth spilled down her cheeks, shimmering along her cheekbones and even the pink scar tissue. Never mind they were different species and Garrus didn't even like her like that (he thought), but at that moment, sitting in the kitchen in her pajamas with her hair mussed beyond reason, Garrus thought Shepard had never looked so….

Well, pretty.

As she calmed down long enough to take a sip of the coco, Garrus leaned forward, his whole body tense. "Is it…?"

The mug made a soft thunk as Erin set it down. Using her tongue to lick away a little bit of coco from her lips, she smiled softly. "It's the best coco I've had in a long time."

Reaching out, she rested her hand over Garrus's talons. "Garrus…thank you. For the coco, for listening…for everything."

Quickly blocking out the fact that his heart rate had just jumped up to light speed, Garrus flared his mandibles in a smile, his eyes warm. "For you commander, any time."


	3. Breathe

Inspired by Michelle Branch's "Breathe"

_**Breathe**_

For all his habits of breaking rules and having a general disregard for anything mildly associated with a regulation, Garrus couldn't bring himself to say a word as to why he and Shepard were the only ones driving around in the Mako on a planet that they'd already established as having nothing on it. Not that he didn't mind being in her company, but the planet was rainy and miserable and it'd been an hour since they'd landed and Shepard had yet to say a word.

Ice blue eyes flickered over to his companion, who seemed far more engaged with the Mako's steering than usual. Erin had seemed agitated all day, pacing the ship since dawn, doing her rounds to all her crew members, checking in, even with Kaidan. Finally she'd come down and laid under the Mako with him, content to watch the Turian work in silence. After some time though, she grew restless and ordered Joker to drop them on the first planet they could find that was suitable for testing out the Mako's new suspension.

Of course Kaidan and Ashley volunteered to go with her to the surface in the Mako, but she stubbornly declined, insisting she only wanted Garrus with her.

At first Garrus had thought about making conversation, but at taking a look at the fierce light burning in his commander's eyes, he decided that if he wanted to remain seated in the warm, dry Mako, he'd best keep his mouth shut. And so he did, but after such a long time, the Turian decided it was high time to break the silence.

Clearing his throat with almost a hum, he swallowed dryly. "Commander? Is there a reason we're-"

"Twenty nine."

Startled, Garrus blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what she'd said. "I'm sorry, what?"

Ocean blue eyes locked with Garrus's ice blue eyes and for the first time he realized that the Commander, despite looking pissed as he'd ever seen her, seemed somewhat hurt. "Twenty nine. That's how old I am today."

It didn't take long for Garrus to realize the implications of her statement. "Today is your birthday?"

Upon seeing the Commander's nod, Garrus brightened a little. "Why didn't you say something?"

Angrily throwing the Mako into park atop a precarious peak, Erin sighed, resting her head in her hands. "I don't know…I generally don't make a big deal out of it, but Kaidan knew and he hasn't said a word about it. I mean, Ashley sent me a little card and said happy birthday when I visited, but she knows I don't make a big deal of it, I'm just kind of hurt that nobody else said anything."

If it were possible for Garrus to pout, he would be, but as his mandibles prevented that, he settled for clenching his mandibles in closer to his face. "Shepard, I wish I'd known…I would've told Tali or even Wrex…we could've done something for you…"

As if realizing her words, Erin sat bolt upright, waving her hands apologetically. "Oh, no, no! I'm not blaming you guys at all, I didn't expect you to know or anything…it's not something I go around advertising…"

"But you're still mad Kaidan didn't say anything."

Miserably nodding, Erin sighed, curling up in her seat. "I don't know…I just thought he would at least SAY something."

"Do you like him?"

Sharply glancing over at the Turian, Erin's gaze was met with open, inquiring eyes and a hint of concern about his features. Allowing her shoulders to drop, she sighed. "Not the way everyone thinks, no."

Settling back, Erin pulled her fingers through her chocolate colored hair. "Kaidan is great. He's a sweet guy, a strong biotic, good with tech, and not bad looking."

With a little shifting, Garrus turned so he was facing his commander a little more, willing to listen to her. "Sounds like the ideal human mate. What's stopping you?"

"A lot of things," chuckled the human, lacing her fingers together, "First, Ashley has the biggest crush on him, and I couldn't go and get in her way. But even more importantly, my heart isn't in it. I just…don't feel it like that. Of course he's a good friend and a great teammate, but that's all he'll ever be to me, no matter what he wants otherwise."

Puzzled, Garrus twitched his mandibles in agitation. "So let me see if I understand. You like Kaidan enough to be upset he didn't remember your birthday…."

"Right."

"…But not enough to mate with him."

"Exactly."

Garrus rubbed at the soft hide on the back of his neck, thoroughly puzzled by now. "All right then, what would it take for you to like him in more than a friendly manner?"

What Garrus did not expect was Erin's boisterous laughter. Wiping away the tears of mirth, she shook her head. "No, it doesn't work like that Garrus. You can't just….change your mind about someone like that on such a serious matter. It takes time…and just a gut feeling."

Outside, the rain began to pound harder, so Erin raised her voice so that her Turian companion could hear her. "When you meet someone, you just know certain things about them. Like when I met Kaidan, I thought 'he's nice, but I don't want to date him.' And when I met Tali, I knew we'd be friends. It's just a feeling that can't be faked…and when I meet someone special, someone I want to love…I know."

Silence fell between the two as the Turian turned this information over in his mind. Of course C-Sec had briefed him on the basics of different species mating rituals and practices, but the information wasn't exactly in depth. It had mainly covered physical signs of attraction, but nothing of internal. But truth be told, Garrus could understand the feeling. It hadn't been three weeks ago that he had spoken with his friend Caius about simply knowing when he'd met the right girl, after all. Tilting his head in Erin's direction, he blinked.

"What about me?"

Fully intending to answer, Erin opened her mouth, then slowly shut it, leaning against the cool steel behind her. Slowly, she let her eyes trace across Garrus's form, trying to determine what it was that had originally drawn her towards the young alien. He was tall to be sure, a good three or four inches taller than Shepard, and he was toned as far as she could tell. Garrus's face had the same basic structure as most Turians, but the bold blue lines on his cheeks made his ice blue eyes stand out against his tan-gray skin. Personally, Shepard was quite fond of Garrus's eyes. They were such a rare color amongst Turians, and they were so expressive. Just by taking a glance into his baby blues, the commander could get a fairly good idea of what her friend was thinking.

Allowing a smile to flit across her face before finally answering. "Garrus, when I met you, I knew you were special. I can't quite place how or why or what it is, but one day I'll be able to, and when I can, I promise to tell you."

For a long moment, this seemed to satisfy the Turian. Then, with swiftness and grace befitting his race, Garrus snatched Shepard out of her seat and deposited her on his own, effectively situating himself in the driver's seat. Raising one long talon against her protests, he smiled. "Now, I won't have you driving around on your birthday."

This simple admittance silenced his commander, who blinked repeatedly as he threw the Mako into gear, chuckling. "Besides, isn't there a human saying, age before beauty?"

Meekly nodding, Shepard abruptly furrowed her brow. "Wait, how old are you Garrus?"

"Just turned thirty." He beamed at her while navigating down the precarious perch that they had been parked upon.

Satisfied, Shepard nodded and enjoyed the ride down the mountain to a small clearing where Joker could pick them up. Bumping and rolling to a stop in the middle, another thought crossed the brunette commander's mind. The saying was indeed "age before beauty", so by that logic, if Garrus was age…

"Garrus, did you just call me pretty?"

For what felt like the millionth time since joining the Normandy, Garrus sent his silent thanks to the Spirits that he couldn't blush.

* * *

By the end of the day, Shepard was in much better spirits. Of course, after returning Garrus had immediately vanished along with Tali and Wrex, although Shepard had some idea that getting the Krogan to leave his usual spot must have taken some cajoling on the Turian's part.

Wandering throughout the ship, the brunette paused only a moment before stepping through the kitchen doors. The sight before her stopped her dead in her tracks.

Wrex was frozen, apparently in the middle of heading towards the door to secure it. Tali slowly lowered a hand from wiping flour and batter off her visor, a spoon clutched in her other hand. Poor Garrus Vakarian found himself clutching a large mixing bowl, his face and hands smeared with batter and egg and an assortment of other ingredients. Flour and mess coated most every surface of the kitchen, and for the longest time, the trio stared at their commander.

"Well…" Tali remarked, wiping her hands on a towel. "I, ah, suppose now is as good a time as ever to wish you a happy birthday, Commander."

Seeing that Wrex nodded his agreement and added a rumble of contentment, Shepard couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Thank you, that's very sweet, but what the hell have you done to the kitchen?"

"I think the whelp over there can explain," Wrex jerked his head towards Garrus, his voice rumbling in the small space.

Fumbling with the bowl as Shepard approached, Garrus stumbled over his words so badly and spoke so quickly it was almost amusing. "Ah, Commander, well I couldn't help but think about our conversation earlier and how I felt you should have some sort of a, ah, proper human celebration so I looked up some things but I didn't really know what else to do so I called Tali since I thought she might help but then neither of us could taste it, so we had to call Wrex to make sure since you both can eat the same-"

"Garrus." Shepard was now in front of him as she laid a hand gently over his mouth. Wiping away the little bits of batter and powder that coated his mandibles and the area close to his teeth, she raised her eyebrows and gave an encouraging smile. "I'm not mad. Just curious. What have you been making?"

Stepping aside, all eyes in the room fell on the last clean counter in the room, which was now dominated by a large cake. As the commander stepped forward, she couldn't help but be in awe at how much work they would have had to go through to make it, considering half of the present company wouldn't be able to eat it. It had been frosted in a pale blue-green, and the accent icing was the same ocean blue as the commander's eyes. In large, scrawling letters someone had written "Happy Birthday Shepard" on the top while twenty nine candles were stuck around the edges. Between the areas where frosting had been missed, Erin could see that it was a rich chocolate, almost the same color as her hair.

Slowly rotating on the spot, Erin fought for composure as she glanced between the three. "You all…did this for me?"

"It was easier than going to the Citadel for a gift." Quipped Tali, wiping away the last of batter from her visor, "But yes, we did. It was Garrus's idea really."

Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, Garrus shook his head. "I just felt so…indignant that Alenko would ignore you like this…you…you deserved better."

"Stupid human. Doesn't know what he's got." The rust red Krogan's voice seemed to echo the sentiments of the other aliens in the room

Before any more sentiments could be aired, Shepard warmly embraced each, thanking them profusely as she did so, staring with the Krogan, then Tali, saving Garrus for last. Pausing only a moment, she propelled herself into the Turian with such force that he had to lean back, lifting the smaller human off the ground for a moment or two. As he did so, Shepard turned her face so that her lips were inches from Garrus's ears, her warm breath tickling his sensitive hide.

"Thank you Garrus. Whoever is lucky enough to receive your affection, she will be one lucky woman."

Gingerly setting her down, Garrus tilted his head, asking the unspoken question. A smile flitted about the commander's face for a moment before shaking her head. "That's part of it, yes, but no….One day I'll tell you Garrus."

"One day can be a long way off."

Slyly eyeing the Turian, Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, a twinkle of mischief in her demeanor. "Well, if we beat Seren, maybe I'll tell you then."


	4. You Found Me

This was inspired by The Fray's "You Found Me"

If there is a song you'd like to see me do, please tell me so in comments and leave me a link to the song. Youtube links are prefferable.

* * *

_**You Found Me**_

The Normandy slid through the inky blackness of space, away from the frozen wasteland of Noveria. Erin Shepard paused, rubbing her temples as her team filed out of the briefing room, Liara among the first to leave.

Venturing a chance to glance around the room, Erin sighed and stood with a weariness that she often didn't feel. Still, it wasn't often she had to kill someone's mother in front of her. Trying to clear her head, Shepard swung by the mess to grab some food before meandering the ship in search of a place to eat. Pausing on the crew deck, the brunette glanced around.

In his own corner, Kaidan perked up when he saw her, his expression clearly saying he wanted her to come visit. Any other time, when she had more patience and less desire to simply be, Shepard might have accepted, but instead she glanced over his offer and made her way back to the elevator. Almost by instinct, Shepard slunk to the far side of the Mako, resting her back against the tires and setting her meal out on her lap.

For the longest time, Shepard simply stared at her food with complete disinterest. Her mind was elsewhere. Only when a few shuffling sounds came from beneath the vehicle produced her Turian friend was she able to be roused from her stupor.

"Funny seeing you here," Quipped Garrus as he propped himself up on his elbow, half his body still beneath the Mako. Upon receiving no reply from Shepard, he laid down so as to catch her downward gaze.

"Hey, Shepard, what's going on? You've been like this since we left peak fifteen and you're not exactly going at your food like you usually do."

With a heavy sigh, Shepard pushed aside the food, abruptly losing her appetite. "No…I just…feel bad. I know Liara doesn't blame me for what happened, but…"

Angry, Shepard flung a balled up towel at the wall, watching it splat with some satisfaction. "I should be better than that. How could I be so callous, so insensitive? I shot her Garrus, and Liara was right there. I had to watch as my mother just vanished out of my life, probably to be killed on the street, and I know how hard that was. But to just…right there, in front of her…how could I do that? What kind of person does that make me?"

Trailing off, she stared at the gunmetal gray wall ahead of her and for some reason, the Turian understood. She had mentioned her mother leaving when she was young, he recalled that, and to tear away someone else's mother was a heart wrenching process. Resting his hands on his chest, Garrus used one to rub at his nose, unintentionally leaving a smear of oil across it.

"You know, I was sixteen when I lost my mother."

This simple admission startled Shepard into attentiveness, glancing down at the Turian beside her. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes flickering in the dim light. Tilting his head a little, he shrugged. "My father really loved her…and she loved him and us."

"Us?"

"My sister Aelia and I. She's about fifteen years younger than me….should be heading into the service this year. Wish my mother could see her…but it wasn't meant to be."

Stretching his arms, Garrus rested his arms beneath his head as he continued. "My mother was a scientist…she and my father met by accident in a bar, but apparently it worked for them. He was always a good military leader and she was the one putting the technology in his hands. When I was born, they were very proud. A firstborn son and then some years later, a daughter. It seemed like life in the Vakarian clan was going well."

Engrossed by his tale, Shepard tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears. "What happened?"

Shaking his head, Garrus's ice blue eyes seemed to stare past the metal ceiling above him while he spoke. "I was sixteen. Just started my service. Mother had been working on some sort of weapon to use against Krogans. The shell was supposed to deliver a poison so even if it didn't get a killing shot, the victim would still die pretty quickly. What it sounds like is that the toxin was especially potent to Krogan, but only slightly less so for Turians. Treatable, but there was still a high mortality rate. Someone got me out of training and I got there in time to…well, say goodbye. We all took it hard, but the Vakarian men aren't known for giving up easily. I returned to training and my father stayed for a few months to help raise Aelia before one of my relatives stepped in to help out."

With a deep, shuddering breath, Garrus locked eyes with his commander, offering her a small smile. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that while we're different, I get it commander."

Watching the Turian squirm uncomfortably, Shepard was silent as he went on, falling into the rambling, rushing pattern she'd learned to recognize as his sign that he was becoming nervous. "What I mean Shepard, is that I can understand you being upset and everything about Matriarch Benezia and Liara and your own mother and –"

"Vakarian." Her palm was smooth and cool over his mouth, which to her pleasant surprise was quite warm. Suppressing a giggle, she raised an eyebrow. "Slow down. Take a deep breath and spit it out."

Upon the removal of her hand, Garrus took her advice, deliberately taking a deep breath before speaking again.

"What I'm trying to say to you, Commander, is that if you need to talk or someone to listen, I'm here for you."

A warm smile spread across Shepard's face as she retrieved her food, her eyes locked with Garrus. "I know. That's why I came here."

"Wait, you knew I'd be here?"

The brunette paused a moment to swallow a bite of her food before nodding. "I had a feeling that you would be here. I trust you to know when I want to talk about something and when I don't."

In the dim lighting, Garrus's rapid blinking made his eyes flicker like a strobe light, but after a moment he seemed to accept this in some way. "So…does this make us friends?"

"Were we not friends before?"

For what felt like an hour, the silence hung between the two before Garrus averted his eyes. "Well, I thought you were just being nice to me because you're my Commander…"

"And I am," Erin stated calmly, finishing her lunch at last, bundling up the wrappers, "but that doesn't mean that you and I aren't friends. Honestly, I think it makes being a team that much better."

Raising his averted gaze, Garrus couldn't help but be surprised by this human. "You think so?"

The smile that the Turian received was nothing short of dazzling. It seemed to light up Erin's whole face, adding a glow that he'd never seen before. "Think so? I know so. If I know you all not just as soldiers, but as friends, then I can take your opinions into account when making decisions. Plus, if we trust each other not just as comrades in arms but as friends, then eventually we just know implicitly who's doing what. I can already see you starting to do that."

"Really?"

With a wave of her hand, Erin nodded proudly. "Sure! You've started to figure out the way I fight, which is more close to mid range than anything, so you hang back and snipe more than anything else. Give it time and you'll be able to pick out which targets I'm going after and which ones are free for you to take."

He couldn't help himself; Garrus tossed his head back and laughed. After a moment he settled down, shaking his head. "Shepard, that would imply you and I are on the same level. Let me assure you, this is not the case."

A quirked eyebrow was the only warning Garrus had before Shepard slid so her back was on the floor, her head by his. Ice colored eyes met ocean blue eyes, while a mischevious smile danced across her face. "There. Same level."

Fluttering his mandibles a little, Garrus was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it Shepard. I may be bad with human expressions, but I know enough."

"Ok, so make me understand."

With some difficulty Garrus repressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Well, look at you. You're not just a well known Alliance Commander, but the first human spectre. You work aboard the most advanced warship known to the galaxy, and you're damn good at what you do. You've been able to bring together and unite a crew of humans with a Quarian, a Krogan, an Asari, and a Turian. Aside from that, you don't seem to have any sort of prejudices against aliens…you're a paragon for justice and peace."

Erin's eyes danced with light and laughter. "So what does that make you?"

He scoffed. "Me? I'm a Turian who can't live up to his father's expectations and left C-Sec trying to do some good in the world. Just like the hundreds of others who join C-Sec for that purpose."

"Well, if it helps any, I think you're pretty spectacular."

Rollling onto his side, Garrus gawked at the woman beside him. "You're serious?"

With a quick movement, Erin had mirrored Garrus's position, propping herself up on an elbow, her hair brushing her shoulders as she did so. "You're brave and strong and I can tell you really care very much about the people close to you. The fact you went against your family to do what you felt is right is something I don't know if I could do if my parents were still around. You don't give yourself enough credit."

"And you give me too much. I wasn't even that good of a C-Sec officer to begin with anyways." The admission slipped out before Garrus could stop it, and he clamped his mandibles shut tightly as if he just realized his mistake.

Erin furrowed her brow in a way Garrus had come to recognize to mean she was either confused, angry, or both. In this case, she seemed more confused, but a little mad as well. "Now Garrus, why would you say that?"

Shaking his head, Garrus sighed. "It was a case…one I never solved. Pretty disturbing actually. I never let it go and recently I thought I found something…but I just don't know."

"Mind sharing?"

He cast Erin a quick glance before fixing his eyes on a point just above Erin's shoulder. "I was tasked with investigating black market trade. It was usually harmless stuff, but in the course of my investigation I uncovered an increase in the sale of body parts. I'd seen increases, but nothing like these numbers. We weren't sure if it was some black market lab or if someone was harvesting them from civilians."

Now the commander's face bad turned intent, curious. The look Garrus recognized as the one she got when something intrigued her and she wanted to figure it out. "So which one was it?"

"Both, actually." This admission had her hooked, and he could see it in the way she leaned a little closer and her blue eyes darkened a little. "It took us a little while to figure it out. First we got a hold of a sample and ran some tests. The weird thing was, it matched to a Turian who was still alive and _very_ convinced he'd never lost his liver. After some digging I found he worked for Dr. Saleon, a Salarian geneticist. So I went to his lab to find some evidence of cloned organs…there was nothing. No Salarian hearts, no Turian livers, not one Krogan testicle."

Holding up a hand, Erin seemed to jerk backwards. "Woah, woah, woah. You're kidding, right? Why would anyone want Krogan testicles?"

Offering a shrug, the Turian seemed calm. "Some Krogan think that testicle transplants will increase their virility…counteract the effects of the genophage. It doesn't work, but that doesn't stop them from buying. They'll pay up to ten thousand credits each, that's forty thousand credits for a full set. Someone's making a killing out there…"

He trailed off for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Clearing her throat, Erin nodded. "What did you do about the geneticist?"

Jerking back to reality, Garrus nodded. "I brought in some of his employees for interrogation. While I was…interviewing one of them I came across something suspicious. One of the detainees started bleeding profusely during the interview. We offered to patch him up and he got frantic, freaked out. I ordered a full exam to find out what was going on. The medics found incisions all over his body, some of them fresh, and that was our big break. These people weren't just Dr. Saleon's employees, they were test tubes. Walking, living, test tubes."

"That's horrible!" Erin's strong reaction wasn't anything Garrus hadn't expected, but still, the emotion in her voice caused him to be a little taken aback.

"I know. He'd clone the organs right inside their own bodies, then harvest them and sell them off. Most of the victims were poor. He'd pay them a small percentage of the profits from sales, but only if the organs were good. Sometimes an organ wouldn't grow properly, so he'd just leave it in them. Most of them were a mess, but only on the inside, hidden so nobody could see it. And the worst part is…we never got him"

"Why not? What happened?"

Fury began to rise up Garrus's back, and he could feel it humming through his body. "He ran. Blew his lab, grabbed some employees, and headed for the nearest space dock. By the time I found out the ship was already leaving. He threatened to kill his hostages if we tried to stop him. I ordered Citadel Defense to shoot him down as soon as I knew, but C-Sec countermanded my order. They were worried about the hostages, worried about civilian casualties if the ship was destroyed so close to the Citadel. I told them that those hostages were dead anyways, he would just use them to make more organs."

Glancing over at his conversation partner, Garrus studied her. The way Erin looked now was almost…pensive. Like she was weighing both options in her head, trying to decide what she'd do. After a long moment, she sighed. "It's a tough choice, but I can see it both ways."

Exhaling heavily, he nodded. "Yeah…I just wish I could've gotten him, that's all."

"So what about this new information."

Garrus shifted himself so that his position was more comfortable, turning his face towards his commander. "Yeah…I sent out a feeler a while back. Looks like he's changed ships, changed his name to Dr. Heart, his idea of a joke I guess. I told the military but they weren't convinced it was him. I still got the transponder frequencies for his new ship though."

There was no hesitation in the commander's voice when she spoke. "Let me have them and we'll go check it out."

The change in Garrus's attitude could be visibly seen. His fringe seemed to perk up, and his blue eyes brightened. "I was hoping you'd say that Commander. Just one thing…"

She turned, offering her alien companion a small smile as she did so. "Anything."

"When we go, I want to go with."

Erin inhaled sharply before considering it. After all Garrus had sacrificed to be here…after all he'd done for her, this was the least she could do. And besides, she trusted Garrus to listen to a direct order if she had to give one. "You let me sit down here by the Mako and listen to me, you make me a birthday cake, you leave your home and job to follow me. The very least I can do for you is let you come with…although I feel like I owe you so much more."

He laughed freely, his mandibles flaring out as he did so. "Considering how often you're saving me from certain death, I think I'm the one who owes you, especially if we do this."

With a laugh, Erin leaned towards the Turian. "Well how about this, since we're friends; I do this for you and go stop Seren and we'll call it even until the next time I need to save the galaxy."

"And you'll tell me what made you think that we'd be friends, right? The thing that made me, and I quote, 'special'?"

Pausing to study Garrus from beneath her long lashes, Erin smiled slyly. "But of course. We have a deal."


	5. Wreck Of The Day

This chapter is inspired by Anna Nalick's "Wreck of the Day"

_**Wreck of the Day**_

"Heads up LT! Just spotted a Geth ship heading towards your position."

"It's already here. Geth are pouring out all over the bomb site."

Garrus was not a nervous Turian, but a chill seemed to settle around his gut as Shepard moved towards the edge of the walkway, hand flying to her ear. "Can you hold them off?"

Crackling with static, Kaidan's voice filtered through, worry tinting his words. "There's too many. I don't think we can survive until you get here!"

Behind him, Wrex gave a deep huff and shook his head. Inwardly, Garrus agreed. Kaidan was strong and could probably hold out. Still…looking at Shepard's back, he could almost see the weight of the crisis settling on her shoulders.

"I'm activating the bomb."

Shepard's face grew as dark as the approaching storm clouds, her eyes sparking with anger. "What are you doing Alenko?"

"Commander, I'm just making sure this bomb goes off…no matter what."

Watching the scene unfold, Garrus clenched his sniper rifle tight. He didn't like the biotic very much, but that didn't mean he deserved to die. But then again, neither did Ashley, even though she wasn't overly fond of the alien crew members.

The brunette leaned against the wall, staring out at the stormy seas as the two humans bickered over the raido.

"It's done Commander. Now go get Williams and get the hell out of here!"

"Screw that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko!"

Blinking, Garrus was surprised. That was the first time he'd heard Ashley refer to Kaidan as anything aside from 'The LT'. Shepard had mentioned that the soldier did have something of a crush on him, but still…

"Alenko, radio Joker. Tell him…" Her shoulders squared and for a moment, Erin's eyes met Garrus's. He stared back, and in a moment, they knew exactly what the other meant.

_Whatever you decide, I'll be here._

"Tell him to meet us at the bomb site."

"Y-Yes, Commander. I…"

Williams cut in, her voice strong despite the knowledge that her commander had just left her to die. "You know it's the right choice LT."

Had he not been standing right next to Shepard, Garrus might have missed her next words they were so soft.

"I'm sorry Ash. I had to make a choice."

"I understand commander. I don't regret it at all."

With that, Erin spun on her heel, firmly placing the AA tower at her back. Garrus opened his mouth to offer some sort of comfort, but one glance at the woman's stony face told him he'd have better luck consoling a Varren. Chancing one last look over her shoulder, Erin lowered her head and led the charge back to the bomb.

* * *

The Normandy was silent. And not just because the stealth systems were activated either. Many members of the human crew seemed to be mourning for their lost member, and it seemed that most of the aliens felt her loss as well.

For what seemed like the hundredth time that hour, Garrus glanced over at the empty place where Ashley used to stand. All her things were still there – personal terminal, a few weapons, a book – but there was no dark haired soldier to attend to them. Most everyone had resigned to their personal quarters with the exception of a few essential personnel but Garrus couldn't sleep if he wanted to. Since the debriefing after returning to the Normandy, Shepard had disappeared. Of course she was still on the ship, but she had a nasty habit of completely being invisible if she damn well wanted.

Then again, nobody could really blame her.

With a frustrated sigh, Garrus finished calibrating the Mako's suspension for the third time since returning to his post after dinner. He was almost certain that Shepard needed someone right now…and while he wanted it to be him, he knew that maybe she just needed some time to cool down.

….Oh who the hell was he kidding? Pausing only to grab the snacks and water bottle she'd left in the Mako, he headed off.

Whirling into the elevator, Garrus paused on the crew deck, one level up. Shepard rarely spent time in her own room, but it was one of the only places on the ship that none of the other crew could get into easily. Hesitating for only a moment, Garrus lightly rapped the door with his talons. "Shepard? Are you in there?"

A muffled thud sounded as Shepard's dampened voice came from within. "Go away Vakarian!"

Taking a deep breath, Garrus shifted his bounty of food so that he could hack the door. He didn't exactly like the idea of breaking into a superior officer's quarters, but right now she wasn't his commander. She was his friend, and she needed someone.

Hacking the door was fairly simple, and it hissed open softly. The poor Turian barely got one foot in the door before ducking while a pillow flew at where his head would've been had he not moved, smacking against the door. On the floor was another pillow, apparently the first projectile thrown. Curled up in bed, Shepard looked like hell.

Cautiously approaching, Garrus studied his friend. Erin's hair was mussed and her eyes were puffy and red. Her cheeks were stained with glittering tear tracks and some of the tears had begun to dry, leaving behind a little pale trail of salt. Depositing the food onto the blankets and sinking down to sit with her in the same fluid movement, Garrus tentatively reached to wipe away a few remaining tears. He'd never seen a human cry before and Shepard was the last person he'd expect to. The sight was strangely heartbreaking.

"Oh Shepard…"

Wiping at her face, Erin sniffled, not reacting to Garrus's hand, but not quite pushing him away. "It's my fault Garrus. I could have saved them both if I was faster."

"There was nothing you could've done." Garrus leaned forward, trying to catch her eye. "You said it yourself, there's nobody to blame but Seren."

She trembled beneath Garrus's talons, from exhaustion or grief he couldn't tell. Erin curled her hand into a fist, clutching the edge of her blankets. "I'm the commanding officer here. I should have been able to move faster, find a way to save everyone…nobody gets left behind."

"We all knew that we could die going into this Shepard." Garrus's melodic voice was soft, his ice blue eyes gentle. "Ashley knew that and willingly gave everything she had to give so that we could keep going. I know it doesn't make this any easier."

Silence swept in, tinted with the smallest hum of the ship's engines. Garrus offered the little food and drink he'd found in the Mako and to his relief, Shepard accepted. She didn't eat much, only nibbling and sipping at it, but it was better than nothing. Niether one spoke much, simply remaining silent, letting their faces and bodies do the talking. After spending so much time with each other, they'd begun to learn what certain ticks and twitches meant.

Tilting his head to the side, Garrus adjusted the way his mandibles sat against his cheeks.

_Are you all right?_

A heavy exhale and a slump of the shoulders from Shepard, companied with something of a pleading look.

_I have definitely had better days._

Quickly fluttering his mandibles into the smallest of Turian smiles, Garrus adjusted the way he was sitting.

_I know._

"The Council wants me to report in to them. Now that we know the Conduit is on Ilos, they want to talk with me before we make any more moves."

The Turian's soft scoff seemed much louder in the room. "What, having a vid conference with you isn't enough? We have to go over there and do this in person?"

One look at Shepard's face told Garrus that she had something else in mind. Beneath the tear tracks and the obvious exhaustion, Shepard looked almost…apprehensive. Finally raising her eyes to meet his, she took a deep breath. "I'm sure that C-Sec would be willing to take you back. Maybe even a promotion if I put in a good word for you."

He stared at her blankly. Of course he understood what she was trying to offer to him, but he wanted to hear her say it, make sure he wasn't reading this wrong. Shepard wasn't one to disappoint.

"You don't have to come with me Garrus."

It wasn't like Garrus had expected anything different, but still, he gaped. After a moment he tried to recompose himself, mandibles flickering in agitation. But more than anything, he was hurt. After all they'd done, all they'd been through, she thought he'd want to just leave?

In the most aggressive act he'd ever done towards her, Garrus leaned forwards, a rumbling growl rising in his throat. "Commander, I don't think you understand. The only way you're getting me off this ship is by direct order or death. And I'm not so sure about that order."

To her credit, Shepard didn't flinch. She didn't even twitch so much as an inch. But to be honest, when she spoke there was a vunerability in her voice that made Garrus's chest clench in uncomfortable, confusing ways and he simply would not have it.

"Garrus, I just sent one of my own to her death today while everyone watched. I wouldn't be upset if they wanted to leave."

"And I'm telling you, it's not happening."

Tension hummed in the air for only a moment before the tears began anew. In an instant Garrus's talon was hovering just inches from her shoulder, and the poor Turian had never looked so worried. "Shepard, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just didn't know how-"

Waving a hand, Erin brushed away tears. "No, no, I'm just…"

It took some minutes to get Erin calmed down again. Every time it looked like she might be all right, the tears seemed to start fresh. In all honesty, the sight terrified Garrus much more than any Geth. It wasn't the fact that Shepard was crying either, but more the fact he couldn't do anything to make it better or easier for her.

At long last, the tears slowed, then eventually ebbed to a stop. Her breath shook, but Erin spoke. "I'm sorry Garrus, I just…I'm just really lucky."

Now that was a shocker. Garrus could feel his jaw practically hitting the floor and thankfully for him, Shepard was willing to explain. "Yes, things have sucked in the past. They've sucked majorly. But if going through all that…living on the streets, Akuze, all of it…if that means I get to meet all these wonderful people, then I wouldn't change it."

Shaking his head, Garrus couldn't help but smile at his friend. "Commander, I've said it once and I'll say it again. I've never met anyone quite like you before."

Nonchalantly shrugging, the tiniest of wry smiles flitted across Erin's features. "Well, there's a lot of people in the galaxy."

"True," Garrus conceded, his eyes sparkling. "But there's still only one Commander Shepard, and I will forever be grateful for that."


	6. Trouble

This song was inspired by Pink's "Trouble"

One day late for my birthday, but Happy Father's Day!

* * *

_**Trouble**_

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. He'd heard the expression a thousand times, but Garrus hadn't really figured out what it meant. Erin had once explained to him that hell was a place of fire and brimstone and pain and it was where she hoped Seren was going when she was through with him, and frankly it didn't sound pleasant.

Now, watching his commander fume as they stalked out of the council chamber, the Turian felt like he could understand the saying. He'd never seen her so angry about anything before, not even when Kaiden wouldn't stop pursuing her. Of course, her composure wouldn't allow her to explode, not here in the tower. Still, other pedestrians could sense something was up and swiftly moved out of the path of the pissed Spectre with the Turian and Quarian in her wake.

Like a force of nature, she swept through the lobby and into the elevator, Garrus and Tali falling in behind her, both wondering for only a moment if it was safe for them to be in an enclosed space with the angry woman.

Ever so slowly the elevator began to descend. Swallowing hard, Garrus stared at the back of Shepard's head, her chocolate brown locks not moving an inch out of place.

"This isn't over."

Shooting each other nervous glances, Tali cleared her throat. "Pardon, Shepard?"

Swiftly rotating on the spot, Erin assessed her crew with a mischievous glint in her eye and a slightly wild smile. "Udina thinks he's got us beat, but nobody ever calls me for an easy job. We're getting to Ilos, one way or another."

Half amused, Garrus shook his head. "Commander, I admire your tenacity, but they've put the Normandy on lockdown. We can't get into the Terminus systems without her and everyone knows it."

"Well," Shepard turned so her back was to them once more. "There's a reason I graduated at the top of the N7 program. I'll figure something out. I always do."

Perhaps it was the look in her eye. Maybe it had been the confidence in her voice. Either way, Garrus found himself relaxing on the CIC deck instead of his usual place in the bowels of the ship, practicing a trick he'd seen Shepard doing. Slowly he rolled a pen between his fingers, trying to smoothly transfer it from one to the other. The brunette said it would increase his dexterity, but somehow he felt it was more difficult with five fingers than three talons.

Beside him, Tali fidgeted with a small component out of the Mako that had stubbornly resisted calibration by the Turian. Still, it seemed that the Quarian was making decent headway while she worked.

Several loud bangs and Shepard seemed to explode into the main cooridor of the CIC, her face flushed and her blue eyes bright. In the cockpit, Joker squirmed, trying to get a look at the commander. "Hey, Commander, mind not breaking my ship?"

"Yeah yeah, should've thought of that before signing up." Erin moved with purpose while Kaidan and Wrex struggled to keep up. Pausing, she glanced at the crew before speaking. "Everyone to stations. We're getting out of here and I want us going through that relay before the council even knows I'm gone."

It looked like someone had electrified the floor. People scurried from place to place, scrambling to find something to do lest they incur the commander's wrath. After a few moments, only Garrus remained. With a sidelong glance, Erin sighed before smiling. "Come on Vakarian, I'll walk you back downstairs because lord knows you'll get lost otherwise."

As they moved towards the stairs, the Turian smirked. "You only wish. Care to let me in on what's going on?"

Pausing, Shepard looked back at Garrus, her stance proud. "We may or may not be about to commit treason because I may or may not have told Anderson to go break us loose."

Garrus wanted to say something – anything really – but all he could do was openly gape. Had he heard correctly? Shepard, Commander Erin Shepard, the paragon of justice and reason, the woman who had told him that her style was to try and negotiate before shooting, was telling him that they were committing mutiny.

Apparently the brunette could sense this and she sighed heavily. "Look, I said I'd find a way out of this and I did. I'm not saying that I particularly like it, but right now this is all we've got. Do what you can with what you've got."

Gazing down at the woman beside him, Garrus couldn't help but smile. "No, I was just thinking how incredibly….badass this is. I mean, sure, my father will disown me and I'll probably have to run around with you for the rest of my life since no other job will take me after this, but I am completely okay with that."

At the mention of his father, Erin's brow furrowed and her blue eyes clouded. "Garrus, are you sure? I mean, my offer from earlier still stands, we're still docked and-"

"Shepard." Garrus put his hand over her mouth, amusement dancing in his ice blue eyes. "And like before, my answer is the same. I'm staying here."

For what seemed like a long time, Shepard didn't move. She was trying to memorize the way his hand felt against her skin. So many times she'd repeated this same gesture with him, but now the tables had turned. His talons were warm, much more so than any other human hand, and the skin on them was a little rough from hours calibrating the Mako and firing a rifle. But the skin on his palm, the skin right over her mouth…it was soft, almost velvety. Inhaling, Shepard found that Garrus smelled pleasantly of motor oil, iron, and hidden beneath those two, sawdust and something fresh she couldn't place.

With a quick move of her head, Shepard had gently pushed his hand off her mouth, a smile quirking her lips upwards. "All right, fine."

"Commander, could you come up to the cockpit? I think you'll want to see the look on their faces when we pull away."

She sighed heavily, shaking her head. "Well, duty calls. But tell you what, we'll meet in the mess five minutes after we leave. We can talk all the way to Ilos."

He thinks about it. In truth, one part of him thinks that he should do more calibrations on the Mako, but it's been calibrated so many times that Garrus could do it with his eyes closed. Plus, the idea of being alone in the cargo hold for a two hour trip isn't exactly appealing. And who was he to refuse an offer from his commander?

"I'll be there Shepard."

* * *

And so he was. But of course, he had yet to beat Shepard anywhere. She was sitting at the table, dissolved into hapless laughter, a few tears running down her cheeks in mirth. Easily sliding into the chair across from her, Garrus felt a slight twinge of alarm shoot down his spine. Since his last encounter with tears, he'd become somewhat wary of them, but at the same time it was a huge relief to see the commander laughing and enjoying herself again after the loss of Ashley.

"Mind letting me in on the joke Commander?"

Holding up a hand, Erin took a moment to compose herself before sighing contentedly. "Well, we got out of the Citadel, but apparently Anderson had to punch Udina in the face to make it possible. I only wish I could've been there to see it…"

Imagining the Normandy's old captain punching out an important politician such as Udina did make Garrus chuckle, shaking his head. "You only wish. You and Anderson have been together a long time, haven't you?"

Erin seemed almost proud as she nodded. "Yeah. He was a year or two out of N7 when I joined up, but he looked out for me like his own daughter. When I got into N7 and he started commanding his own ships, he even let me live with him. I guess he was the father I never really had."

Silence settled between the two. Of course Garrus knew that Shepard's father had died before she even knew him, but he had no idea that Anderson would've taken care of her. Still, it made sense in a way since they were so close.

"Want to see a picture?"

The question was abrupt, startling the Turian back to the present. "Commander, I'm pretty sure I know what Anderson looks like."

Shepard sighed, a little amused, a little exasperated. "No, I mean my _real_ dad. My biological father."

Before he could say a word, Shepard slid a piece of paper across the table towards her friend. Gently grasping the paper in his talons, Garrus studied the image printed upon it. The man in the picture was tall and handsome. He had a mop of chocolate brown hair and light silver eyes. Beside him was a young woman who seemed to be laughing at the camera, her long blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail and her blue eyes shining at the camera. It took the Turian a moment to realize who the child was in this picture.

A very young Erin Shepard was held in her mother's arms, barely a year old. Still, the first wisps of chocolate brown hair were coming in, her large blue eyes staring inquisitively at the camera. To see the woman he knew as a commander so small and helpless well…it was almost laughable.

Raising his eyes, Garrus seemed intrigued. "Where did you get this?"

"Anderson, of course." Erin looked almost smug, lacing her fingers under her chin as she leaned forward. "He felt bad I never had anything to remember my father by, so he did some digging and came up with that. Never said how he found it, but he wanted me to have it."

With another glance at the picture, Garrus slid it back to Shepard. "You look a lot like your father."

The words caused Shepard to pause for only a heartbeat before she gingerly took the picture and slipped it into one of the pockets on her pants. "T-Thank you. I don't think anyone's ever said that to me."

Allowing himself a satisfied chuckle, the Turian settled back into his seat. "Well, now you have."

"And what about you? Which parent do you take after?"

Clicking his mandibles a little, Garrus stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. "Well, nobody has ever asked…I guess my mother really. At least, that's what people said when I was younger. It was always, 'oh, he has your eyes' and 'he's got your coloring' and things like that. To be honest, I'm not so sure anymore."

Eventually a pleasant silence drifted between the two as they listened to the hum of the ship as it soared ever closer towards the Mu Relay and from there, to Ilos. Sighing heavily, Shepard stood, moving towards the kitchen cabinets, snagging her mug as she went.

"It's amazing, isn't it?"

Garrus's head whipped around to stare at her while she worked, but he had no time to reply as she kept speaking, mixing a mug of coco as she did so.

"I mean, your parents really loved each other and were able to bring you and your sister into the world. Same with mine. It's incredible to think that two people can be so perfect for each other like that."

The brunette spectre slid into her seat, cradling the mug in her hands gently. Raising her eyes to Garrus, she took a quick sip of the coco, cringing as the liquid singed her tongue. "You didn't leave anyone special behind to come on this almost certain suicide mission, did you?"

The Turian's melodious laugh rang through the room, reverberating back and harmonizing with it's echo. "Truth be told Shepard, the night before I met you I had just been on the worst date of my life. So no girlfriend is waiting for me. Besides, the best friends I've had are all on this ship and we're in this together."

Erin nodded, extending a fist towards Garrus to bump his knuckles against. "Damn straight. We're going to be the biggest pain in Seren's ass this side of the galaxy."

Completing the gesture, Garrus paused, concern abruptly gleaming behind his eyes. "Wait, you didn't leave someone behind did you?"

Commander Shepard snorted right into her coco, splashing a little on her cheeks and the table. In an attempt to get the coco off, she wiped at it with her hand while speaking. "No, no. I haven't had a boyfriend for some time. But I'm okay with that because, well…"

Ocean eyes met chips of ice across the table, understanding seeming to radiate between the two before she even spoke.

"I'm okay with it. Not having a boyfriend, that is. The right guy is out there somewhere, but I just haven't met him yet."

The statement was simple, but the words seemed to pierce straight through Garrus's armor and bony plates beneath; straight into his heart. Hadn't he said almost those exact same words several weeks earlier right before meeting this woman? Fate was funny in that way.

"Is something funny, Officer Vakarian?"

He hadn't realized he was laughing until Shepard spoke. Quieting his chuckles, Garrus shook his head, leaning forward.

"No. Well, yes I suppose. But," He wagged a finger at Erin, quickly winking upon seeing her intrigued look. "I'll only tell you when you tell me what made me 'special.'"


	7. Don't Stop Me Now

Sorta inspired by Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now"

Song may change in the future as well as revisions to this chapter. Still taking requests for songs.

* * *

_**Don't Stop Me Now**_

"Who votes we take the vehicle into the creepy, underground bunker?"

Shepard glanced back at Garrus, a smirk playing around her eyes. With a quick wave to him and Wrex, she lead the way into the vehicle. Removing her helmet, she settled into the pilot's chair as Wrex returned to his position at the main guns.

As the Turian entered the cockpit to take his seat as co-pilot, Erin turned to him, gently gunning the engine. "We're getting close. I can feel it Garrus. We're going to get him this time."

He didn't need to look at Shepard to know what was coming next. Fumbling for his harness, Garrus used his free hand to reach around and bang on the metal wall. After several cracked plates and sore skulls, the pair had developed the system to warn the other about inevitable reckless driving.

Poor Wrex barely had time to slip into his harness before Shepard slammed her foot down on the gas, sending the Mako a few feet off the ground before rattling back to earth, the walls blurring as they raced into the underground passage. It was times like these that Garrus always had to fight the urge to put his head out the window to feel the wind rushing through his fringe. Mostly because he knew doing so would result in either getting shot in the face or having his head torn off by a stray branch or sharp turn.

About this time during the trip, Garrus would have been plotting their course about the planet and to nearby anomalies. However, this trip seemed to be down a single hallway, so there really wasn't much navigation to be done. A glint of gray caught Garrus's eye on the path ahead.

"Geth, dead ahead!"

Above them the main cannon boomed out a thunderous report, shortly followed by the lighter chatter of the smaller guns. Barking an order to Wrex, Shepard turned the wheel and sent the vehicle skidding sideways through the troops, scattering them about the corridor. With no other task to focus on, Garrus simply clung to the seat and tried to watch out for threats but found himself thwarted by Shepard's insane driving.

"Why are you doing this?"

He had to yell to be heard over the guns directly above them, but Erin still reacted to his voice by casting him a glance. Yanking the wheel sharply in the other direction, the brunette threw the vehicle into reverse. "The Reapers are on their way, and if we let Seren get the Conduit, they'll be here a lot sooner. When they get here, they won't just settle for humans. They'll go for everyone; humans, Salarians, Asari, Turians, Krogan, Quarians…everyone. I'm not letting that happen. We've fought our way here one way or another and we deserve to stay here."

She paused to grit her teeth while almost tipping the Mako onto a Geth shock trooper before continuing. "I realize that even if, no, _when_ we stop Seren it will only delay the Reapers. But it might give us enough time to prepare for their arrival, to study them, see if we can find a weakness. They won't stop till one of us is dead, so neither will I."

"I meant why are you driving like a drunk Krogan?"

"Oh." Erin's bright blue eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed a deep magenta. "Oh! Well, it makes us harder to hit and we can sometimes run over Geth this way."

"Oh."

As the gunfire died away, Erin and Garrus turned to face each other, both a little sheepish. Moments passed before the pair finally laughed, a relieved, borderline hysterical sound from both human and Turian. In the back, Wrex also laughed, a great booming sound that was more a triumphant cry of his victory over the Geth.

Eventually getting the Mako moving once more, Shepard tried to cool the blush from her cheeks. "Sorry Garrus, I just didn't understand what you were asking."

Coolly waving his hand as if to brush away the apology, the Turian let an amused rumble emanate form his chest. "No, it's fine Commander. I understand your reasoning anyway…for both. And I completely agree. You might not be able to stop the Reapers right now, but you can buy some time to prepare for their arrival."

"Me? No, no, no, you mean _we_." Chided the commander, happily rolling over yet another Geth trooper. "Every single person with me willingly came along on this crazy adventure. We're a team. We do this together. It's not just me going out and destroying things on my own."

Ducking his head a little, Garrus couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. "I know we all do our part, but you're the Spectre here. You're a great fighter and an even more incredible leader and people naturally follow you."

With an incredulous scoff, Erin eased the vehicle halfway up a wall. "I am neither very smart nor exceptionally talented. I am only very curious. Albert Einstein originally said that, but it's true. I'm good because I was curious, so I was open to learning. I ate it all up. And for some reason, people admired that about me and chose to follow me."

Conversation was ended quite abruptly as the nose of the vehicle crashed into a stasis field. Cursing profusely, Shepard attempted to back up only to find the route back blocked in a similar way.

"Damn. Looks like Seren set us up Shepard." Wrex had managed to squeeze his bulk into the small amount of space that remained in the cockpit, his face barely a foot away from Shepard. If the proximity concerned her, she didn't show it.

Leaning forward to get a better look at the field in front of him, Garrus pressed his mandibles close to his face. "I don't think this is Seren's doing…"

In moments Shepard had mobilized the boys, shooing them out of the vehicle and down a small side passage she had spotted from the cockpit. Again, the pathway angled downwards, further into the depths of the facility. But this time, the path ended at a platform with what appeared to be a glowing holo awaiting them. Shepard took the lead, approaching what looked to be swirling motes of light with a certain degree of caution about her movements.

"You are not Prothean. But you are not machine either." The voice was male, but synthesized and almost metallic. "This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacons."

Garrus tlited his head to the side, his curiosity rising. "Looks like some sort of VI program. Pretty badly damaged though."

Badly damaged as it was, the VI didn't seem to have any trouble communicating. "I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you, unlike the other who passed recently. Perhaps there is still hope."

Erin chanced a backwards glance at her teammates. Wrex seemed unimpressed, but that was more likely than not from the fact that this VI wasn't telling them how to blow anything and everything from here to kingdom come. On the other side, Garrus's ice blue eyes were engaged, the amber-red light from the program flickering off his face and armor.

"Wait, the beacon from before was in Prothean. How can I understand it?"

"I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived at this facility," the VI stated with what could have been a smug undertone. "I have translated my output into a format you will comprehend. My name is Vigil. You are safe here for the moment, but that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe."

A thousand questions surfaced in Garrus's mind, but he remained silent, his eyes on the brunette commander. As he'd learned early on, Shepard was incredibly inquisitive, digging deep to find answers. It was more than likely she'd get all the answers he wanted to know, plus a little more.

The commander tilted her head, studying the program before her. "Are you some sort of artificial intelligence program?"

Vigil's voice was cool and logical, and he spoke without much of the programmed emotion that some VI's would. "I am an advanced non-organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishan, chief overseer of the Ilos research facility."

Had Liara been present, Garrus was certain she'd be having a fit. Being able to speak to a functioning Prothean VI that had personality of one of the top researchers would be like a dream come true to the Asari. Leave it to Shepard to at least appear unimpressed.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it, you must understand or you will make the same mistakes we did."

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it…" Both Wrex and Garrus stared at Erin's back. Her voice had been so soft that they'd barely caught it before Vigil continued speaking.

"The Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of government, as it was with us and with every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap. The station is actually an enormous mass relay, one that links to dark space, the empty void beyond the galaxy's horizon. When the Citadel relay is activated, the Reapers will pour through and all you know will be destroyed."

At these words, Shepard paled, the pink scar tissue under her left eye standing out much more vividly. She swayed on the spot and for a moment Garrus thought she would pass out. Before he could move to catch her or even steady her, Shepard was standing firm once again, her jaw set.

"How come nobody ever noticed that the Citadel was an inactive mass relay?"

"The Reapers are careful to keep the greatest secrets of the Citadel hidden. That is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers. The keepers maintain the station's most basic functions. They enable any species that discovers the Citadel to use it without fully understanding the technology. Reliance on the keepers ensures that no other species will ever discover the Citadel's true nature, not until the relay is activated and the Reapers invade."

Instinctively the Turian opened his mouth to protest, but he paused. In a way, what Vigil said made sense. The keepers always self destructed when anyone attempted to study them, and they often redid work that the other species had done on the Citadel itself.

Erin pressed on, her curiosity still strong. "How do the Reapers survive out in dark space?"

For the first time, Vigil seemed slightly unsure of himself. "We have only theories. The researchers here came to believe that the Reapers would enter prolonged states of inactivity to conserve energy. This allows them to survive the thousands and thousands of years it takes for organic civilization to rebuild itself. But in this state, they are vunerable. By retreating beyond the edges of the galaxy they ensure that no one will accidentally discover them. They keep their existence hidden until the Citadel relay is activated."

It was as if the reality hit the group like an oncoming train. "The Reapers can wipe out the council and the Citadel fleet in a single surprise attack! It's the perfect trap."

"That was our fate," Vigil lamented. "Our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers seized control of the Citadel and through it, the mass relays. Communication and transportation across our empire was crippled. Each star system was isolated, cut off from the others; Easy prey for the Reaper fleets. Over the next decades the Reapers systematically obliterated our people. World by world, system by system, they methodically wiped us out."

"All of you?" Erin ventured tentatively. Of course she knew the answer, but still she had to ask.

"Our enemy had a single goal; the extinction of all advanced organic life. Through the Citadel the Reapers had access to all our records; maps, census data. Information is power, and they knew everything about us. Their fleets advanced across every settled reigion of the galaxy."

As Vigil spoke, Garrus was careful to keep an eye on the Commander. She had told him about what she saw in the visions and while he could never hope to understand what she saw, he could imagine her practically seeing what the VI described in her mind. As if she didn't have enough nightmares.

"Some worlds were utterly destroyed, others were conquered, their populations enslaved. These indoctrinated servants became sleeper agents under Reaper control. Taken in as refugees by other Protheans, they then betrayed them to the machines. Within a few centuries the Reapers had killed or enslaved every Prothean in the galaxy. They were relentless, brutal, and absolutely thorough."

A shuddering breath seemed to tear itself from Shepard's lungs, shaking her whole frame as she attempted to compose herself. "Why? Why do they do this? What do the Reapers get out of this? Why repeat the pattern of genocide over and over again?"

"The Reapers are alien, unknowable. Perhaps they need slaves or resources. More likely they are driven by motives and goals organic beings cannot hope to comprehend." The VI was quite open about admitting his lack of knowledge. "In the end, what does it matter? Your survival depends on stopping them, not in understanding them."

Scoffing, Garrus shook his head. "Know thine enemy." He recited a phrase Shepard had once said to him. Her idea was that if one could understand how the enemy worked, you could better predict their battle tactics or where they would strike next.

If Erin heard this, she ignored it. "You said you brought me here for a reason. Tell me what I need to do."

Slowly tuning out the VI's droning voice, Garrus contented himself with watching Erin work. When she began to question someone the way she was the VI, her face seemed to light up with a passion he rarely saw in her. Her blue eyes bored straight into the heart of the VI's swirling hologram. Questions sprang from her lips, striking like any other bullets. In his opinion, Garrus thought Shepard thrived in these sorts of situations. Probably would have made an excellent C-Sec officer if given the chance.

Then again, had she been just a C-Sec officer, he mused, she might not have intrigued him so. They certainly wouldn't be here on Ilos chatting up a Prothean VI. For all he knew, they'd be Reaper bait in the making.

"Seren's got enough of a head start." Uploading a data file from Vigil's console, Shepard turned to her team. "Let's move!"

Shepard lead the party as they charged back to the Mako, Vigil's amber light fading as they ran. The brunette practically threw her comrades into the vehicle before following suit. Once more underway, Garrus glanced sideways. While on a mission it was pretty important to stay focused, he understood, but from where he saw things they could be charging headlong into certain death.

"Shepard?"

"I'm driving Garrus."

Heaving an exasperated sigh, Garrus persisted. "Shepard, why us?"

Spinning the wheel with particular venom, Shepard exhaled smoothly. "Because together we make a good team. You have tech skills, Wrex has some biotics, and all of us are exceptional at combat. But a lot of it is trust. I know that if I put my back to you, you'll cover me. Keep me safe."

Water lapped against the wheels as Shepard braked atop a long downhill slope. Ahead what looked like a tiny mass relay pointed straight into the sky, the core spinning and glowing as brightly as the real thing. The conduit lay at the end of the path, a beacon at the end of their journey.

Unfortunately, this reward was guarded by a gauntlet of Geth. Eyeing the machines warily, the Turian swallowed hard. There would be no getting out of this unscathed, much less alive.

"Do you trust me?"

Before Garrus could answer, the Mako leapt forward and it was all he could do to keep from swallowing his tongue. Below them the Geth grew steadily larger, their great metal heads swirling towards them, chatter filling the air. The Conduit spun before them, the final goal just out of reach.

A particularly rough bump had Garrus clutching the back of his head, trying to protect his fringe from Shepard's reckless driving.

"Garrus, do you trust me?"

The question was almost desperate. The Conduit spun faster and faster in front of them, growing larger as they rocketed towards it. Finally Garrus wrenched his gaze away from the light to lock eyes with Erin. One hand left the wheel, reaching for him across the gap.

His tan-gray talon wrapped around her wrist as her delicate alabaster fingers grasped his own. The answer to her question was one he'd known all along.

"Without a doubt Shepard."


	8. How Far We've Come

Inspired by Matchbox 20's "How Far We've Come"

Please excuse the fact that I'm making some stuff up about Turian culture. I'm so sorry Bioware. Also, Seren is a zombie. Don't tell me he isn't.

Remember, I'm still taking song requests. I've already got one and plan to use it in the future. Since there is a gap between ME1 and the start of ME2, I'm looking for maybe one or two more songs.

* * *

_**How Far We've Come**_

The Citadel council chamber was unusually silent save for the exhausted panting of the three figures that stood in the ruins of shattered glass and steel.

Erin Shepard raised her head, giving her team a quick once over. After reassuring herself that yes, all members of her team were mostly unharmed, the brunette turned to Garrus who was in the midst of applying medi gel to a gash on his arm.

"You want to make sure he's dead _now_, Vakarian?"

"I don't know Shepard, did you shoot him in the head?"

Their sarcasm echoed in the hall where gunfire had chattered only minutes before. Seren's body had turned to dust, but only after reanimating and attempting to murder them all. Had it not been for Shepard's quick action and her constant calls of "Shoot it in the head!" Garrus might have lost an arm.

With a quick stride, Shepard had ascended part of the ramp that would take them up to the main floor. Wrex, never one to be outdone, charged up ahead of her while Garrus lingered just a little. As he drew level with Shepard, she beamed up at him. "Of course I did. That's the only way to kill a zombie, don't you know."

Poor Garrus didn't even have time to gape at the calm way Shepard spoke about zombies. An explosion rocked the station and a shadow loomed over the window. The pair turned in time to see one of Sovereign's giant claw-like appendages hurtling towards them.

"MOVE!"

Shepard's shove abruptly reminded Garrus that despite the fact she was much smaller and lighter than he was, she was just as strong. His legs moved as if on their own accord, carrying him farther away from the window, from Seren's dusty remains, from the incoming Reaper piece…

From Shepard.

Turning to look back over his shoulder, Garrus got one glimpse of Shepard before the twisting and screaming of metal distracted him and the window exploded inwards. Shards of metal rained down while a larger piece slammed into his gut, tossing the Turian away from his commander. For a brief moment, his vision went black.

"Over here! We found them!"

Air flooded into Garrus' lungs, painfully at first, then more and more easily. Metal shifted somewhere off to the side and light filtered through the falling dust motes. Through a gap in the debris, humans began to filter through, Anderson among the first.

Dropping to one knee beside Garrus, he sought the Turian's eyes. "It's all right, you're safe."

_No_, he wanted to scream at the men searching. _She's farther back, you don't have much time to find her if she's still alive!_ Yet even as he thought about it, Garrus felt his stomach drop. She'd been the closest to the largest pieces, there was no way she'd survive if one of those had hit.

"Officer Vakarian," Anderson's deep voice caught the Turian's attention. "Where is she? Where's Shepard?"

Unable to speak, all the blue eyed Turian could do was shake his head. Off to one side he could see medics helping Wrex to his feet, but all he could do was feel sick. Why hadn't he been there to help her? Anderson looked as if someone had just struck him in the face, but he held it together quite well, standing and offering a hand to Garrus.

With the Captain's help, Garrus rose, glancing back at the rubble where he'd last seen the brunette. It would take months to clear the debris…months before they'd find her body. He stared, trying to fix the image in his memory, trying to fix the image of…

Shepard. First he blinked, trying to clear his vision. Surely he was seeing things, because he thought he'd seen a flash of her chocolate hair and alabaster skin. But no, realization dawned as she crested a heap of glass and steel, left arm cradled into her chest.

Erin Shepard paused atop a piece of the very Reaper she'd chased across the galaxy and had, even in death, attempted to kill her; very much alive and very much triumphant.

Stumbling down the slope, the Spectre beamed at those gathered, throwing a lopsided salute towards Anderson before stopping in front of her team. Wrex paused, a wide Krogan grin spread across his face before the medics led him off for a full scan. At long last, she turned her attention to Garrus.

Both looked like hell, and it was increasingly obvious that Garrus had at least one broken rib. Of course, that never stopped anyone before.

Gathering Shepard into a tight embrace, Garrus lowered his head so his breath ruffled her hair and tickled her ear. "Shepard…"

"AH! Garrus, Garrus, broken arm, broken arm!"

Hastily the Turian released Shepard, but he kept his talons curled on her shoulders. "Shepard, I'm so sorry, I was just so relieved that you're alive…"

He would have said more, but broken ribs have a habit of restricting air flow. Accompanied by the fact that Garrus still wore his armor and felt like he'd been hit by the Normandy, adrenaline wasn't going to keep him going for too much longer.

Erin smiled, equally exhausted and broken. "I know. But right now you need to get some medical treatment and I need to see the Council. Maybe I can get us some nice accommodations since I saved their lives and all. I'll see you in the infirmary after-"

"Hell no." Garrus raised a hand, trying to block the pain in his ribs. "You're not going alone. I'm going too. The only way to get me to the infirmary is if you go too."

For the longest moment the pair didn't blink or move an inch. Perhaps from exhaustion or pain or both, Shepard gave in first, sighing heavily but not breaking her gaze. "Fine, we go together. But after that, straight to the infirmary."

* * *

Of course, neither Garrus nor Shepard had planned on the mob of reporters that were relentless in their search for a statement from Shepard. The Commander, however, wasn't willing to talk and much more willing to let Captain – now Councilor – Anderson handle the press. In fact, the only thing on Shepard's mind was the drink in her hand and the numb feeling of medi gel sinking into her broken arm. Doctors had insisted that she wear a sling and that Garrus at least recline in a bed but otherwise they'd let the rest of the crew in for a celebration.

Perched on the end of Garrus's bed, Shepard smiled at how her team had piled into the small room. Tali sat beside her on Garrus's bed while across the way Wrex, Liara, and Kaidan had taken over the chair and couch. A fair amount of alcohol had been smuggled in so the atmosphere was pretty light.

Wrex was telling the others about Shepard's driving skills and how they'd basically driven the Mako into a mass relay and it had come out mostly all right. Lieara smiled while Kaidan laughed heartily beside her.

"Still, to find a working Prothean VI…I wish I could have met him."

Sipping at her drink, Shepard chuckled. "Well, it's not like Vigil can get up and walk away. I told the Council where he was on Ilos so they could go talk to him and hear the truth about the Reapers for themselves."

Kaidan's attention seemed to be permanently fixed on Shepard. "They have to believe you Commander. You just killed one right here on the Citadel. That has to count for something."

With a shrug of her good shoulder, Shepard swirled her drink. "I can only hope. Now that Anderson's going to be representing humanity on the Council, our chances go way up. I just wish that Ashley could be here to see it."

Silence fell across the room. Shepard gazed into her drink, lost in the shimmering amber liquid. To her surprise, Garrus lifted his own electric blue drink, gazing around the room as he did so, looking a little unsure of himself.

"To Ashley. A great teammate who gave her life so that we might continue."

Lifting her own glass, Shepard nodded, touching her glass to his. "I'll drink to that."

With a murmur of ascent, the others lifted their glasses as well, toasting their fallen comrade in silence. Long moments passed before Kaiden cleared his throat.

"Commander, what are we going to do now? With Seren gone…"

"We'll go after the real threat." The brunette's voice was hard. "Sovereign was just the beginning. More are coming, and it's our job to make sure that when they get here, the galaxy is ready. Plus there's still plenty of Geth troops hanging around, so we'll probably be asked to clean up that mess. But that's what I'll be doing. If you all want to leave, then I won't stop you."

Anyone standing outside the room at that point might have thought Shepard had said something horribly offensive judging by the loud protests from her teammates. Kaiden was attempting to sound suave in his refusal to leave, Liara had simply glowed with biotic energy, Wrex bellowed that he would follow his battlemaster wherever she ordered him to go, and Tali stated that she had sworn to see this through and she would.

Allowing herself a little chuckle, Shepard raised her unwounded hand. "All right, I get it. You're with me. But what about you Ga-"

The words died in her throat as she turned to look at her Turian teammate. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow. During the argument, he appeared to have fallen asleep although it wasn't a surprise to Shepard. He was on so many painkillers she'd expected him to pass out earlier.

"All right guys, let's give Garrus some time to rest. We all should get some sleep too."

Grudgingly the uninjured crewmembers agreed, slowly shuffling out of the room. Pausing by the door, Kaidan glanced back to where Shepard was still perched on the bed. "Commander, are you coming?"

With a nonchalant wave, she shook her head. "Go on ahead, I'll catch up with you in a bit."

Kaidan shrugged, easing the door closed behind him. No sooner had it closed than Garrus cracked open one pale blue eye. "Are they gone?"

"Yeah. You know, you almost had me convinced you were asleep."

Garrus shifted so that he was propped up a little more on the pillows. "Almost? What tipped you off?"

Erin playfully nudged Garrus's foot. "You were way too tense. Sleeping people relax instead of tense up. Good try though."

Grumbling, the Turian readjusted his mandibles. In the middle of the movement, he paused, his gaze captured by something outside the window. "It's weird, isn't it. How far we've come from when we started?"

It only took Shepard a few moments to follow his gaze down to the presidium below. It was littered with the remains of Sovereign and workers scurried about, tending the wounded. Shaking her head, Shepard couldn't help but smile. "It's only been a little over a month, but we've done so much. Stopped a rouge spectre, destroyed a Reaper…"

"And you're forgetting all the little things in between." Quipped Garrus, his eyes bright. "You helped Tali gather data on the Geth, recovered Wrex's family armor, took out a crazy Asari Matriarch, possibly revived a long dead species by saving that Rachni queen, saved a whole colony from that…Thorian thing, and that's not even covering all those Cerberus bases you blew up."

"They had it coming." Shepard grumbled, but her amusement couldn't be kept at bay by the thought of the human-centric terrorists. "But the best part was I got to meet you and Tali and Wrex and everyone else. I couldn't have done this without you."

Poor Garrus looked so uncomfortable that he ducked his head, fumbling with the sheets. He was obviously uncomfortable or nervous with some part of the conversation. Leaning forward, Shepard sought his eyes. "Garrus, what is it?"

"Nothing, Commander."

"Bullshit. You don't call me Commander unless you're uncomfortable. Spit it out."

"Let's go on a walk together."

The statement was so normal it was astonishing. Shepard sat back, her blue eyes wide as she gazed at Garrus. "I don't really think that now is a good time for either of us to go out walking…"

"When we're recovered then. We can go down by the pond and talk. I could even pack food or something, since I know what foods are safe for you now." It seemed that Garrus was quite intent on the idea of a walk.

Still, the idea had Shepard a little on edge. Trying to roll her shoulder, she was rewarded with an uncomfortable twinge in her arm before she swallowed hard. "Garrus…I know you're not super familiar with human culture but what you're suggesting…well, it sounds more like a date than just a walk with a friend."

Garrus jerked upright, groaning when his ribs protested. Slowly sinking back to the bed, he shook his head violently. "No, no, nothing like that. It's…I guess it's what you would call a 'Turian thing.'"

He smirked at the opportunity to use her words against her. Some days earlier he'd found Shepard cursing a box of chocolates left outside her door, presumably by Kaidan. When he'd asked her about it, the young woman had waved a hand, simply replying that it was a 'human thing.'

Quickly realizing that Shepard would need a little more context, he took as deep a breath that his broken ribs would allow. "Turians are almost never alone for safety reasons. It's much easier to fight off someone when you're in a group than if you're alone. But even then, Turians usually choose a…well, the best human term I can use would be bond brother. Bond brothers are like siblings, but almost closer. They trust each other implicitly and usually they've grown up together as well."

He'd hooked Shepard and they both knew it. She leaned forward, curiosity seeming to emanate from her. "How does a Turian choose their bond brother?"

Reaching around to the soft hide behind his fringe, Garrus rubbed it a little. "It's hard to say. Sometimes it's a sibling. More often it's a friend you've grown up with…your best friend."

"Did you have one back on Palaven?"

Abruptly, Garrus turned his gaze to the ceiling. "Once. We'd been friends since we were small…but he was killed in action. I left for the Citadel a month or two afterwards."

He glanced at Shepard, continuing before she could interrupt. "It was a long time ago Shepard. It happens to the best of us…sometimes things happen. Usually there's a period of time where you'd wait, grieve, and then move on. Most Turians would eventually choose another bond brother."

Seemingly reassured by this, Shepard tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "All right, but I'm not sure how this translates to us going on a walk…"

"Choosing someone is the first step. The next step is an experiment…seeing if you can trust that person." Garrus motioned towards his head. "We've got pretty thick plates, but there are some softer areas. Most of the time we're pretty well protected, but if you can catch us alone, just you and one other person…it's pretty easy to get to the unprotected area. So basically, to see if someone is trustworthy enough to be your bond brother, you need to spend time alone with them to make sure they won't cut your throat."

It took a moment for Erin to fully grasp what Garrus was asking. When it finally hit, she inhaled sharply, blue eyes widening. "Garrus, are you sure? Has any Turian asked a human to…?"

Sitting up a little more, the Turian shook his head. "Not that I know of. But Shepard, I'm sure. You've made it clear to me that we're friends, and now it's my turn to return the favor."

For the longest time, both were silent, trying to contemplate the implications of such a relationship. Angling her head towards Garrus, Shepard blinked a little. "So you're basically asking if I'll be your best friend…if I'll watch your back for as long as I live."

"That's the gist of it, yes."

Her laughter rang through the room, reverberating in Garrus's chest. He couldn't help himself; he stared at his Commander. When she laughed freely like this she almost reminded him of his sister back on Palaven. Chocolate hair tousled a little, Erin locked her blue eyes with Garrus's.

"If this act alone doesn't show what strides we've made, I don't know what does. As soon as we're recovered, we'll go. Promise."


	9. Vegas

Inspired by Sara Bareilles's "Vegas"

I really am just cranking these chapters out? This is one I've had in my head for a long time, so I just needed to get it down. We've moved away from the first game and more towards the second. I'm still taking song requests, and probably won't post until I have a few more. In the meantime, enjoy.

* * *

_**Vegas**_

"You know, this isn't so bad."

Reclining on the banks of the lake, Garrus allowed his melodious laugh to ring out across the water. "What did you expect Shepard? For me to attack the second we were alone? I'm the one who should be worried."

It had been a few weeks since the battle of the Citadel and both Shepard and Garrus had recovered quickly and set about doing preparing for the upcoming missions. But for the time being, they'd been able to find some down time for a walk. Now they lounged beside the water, content to watch the fake clouds roll by. They'd brought food and eaten it some time ago, chatting and enjoying the company of one another.

With a contented sigh, Shepard flopped backwards, spreading her arms wide. "Hey Garrus?"

"Hmm?" The Turian was warm and sleepy after a good meal.

"What are you planning on doing after we take care of the Reapers?"

Garrus opened his eyes, the question catching him completely off guard. In all truth, he hadn't exactly thought about it. "You know, I'm not quite sure yet. I've thought about maybe going back to Palavin, teaching maybe. More likely I'll stay with C-Sec, get a nice apartment on the Citadel."

Turning his attention to where Shepard sprawled beside him, he quirked his head to the side. "What about you Shepard? Got any plans?"

The brunette spectre's eyes seemed to be fixed above her where fake clouds rolled by. She heaved a sigh. "I had a lot of ideas of what I wanted to do when I was younger."

"Like?"

"Well, when I was a little girl I wanted to go to Vegas."

He put on his best confused Turian face. "You wanted to go where?"

A slow smile spread across Shepard's face. "Vegas. It's a human city on Earth known for it's gambling. I wanted to go there and get famous, you know? See my name up in bright lights on the Palace Marquis. Later I decided that Vegas wouldn't be a good fit for me, so I set my heart on New York."

She turned her head to look at Garrus, blue eyes bright. "Oh, I still wanted to be famous, but this time I wanted to go to Broadway. Be a big star in the theatre. I told myself I would get a tattoo for every show I was in. Never happened, but I was young. I was trying out all sorts of things that I thought would get me out of the slums."

Beside her, Garrus took a deep breath, relishing the lack of pain in his ribs. "I guess I can understand that. I suppose for a while all little kids want to be famous. It must have appealed to you."

"Oh, hell yes it did." Shepard had returned her gaze to the fake sky overhead. "But after a while the idea lost novelty for me. I just wanted to get out, it didn't matter if I was famous or not. So I decided that I would sell my stuff and cross the border south and go to Mexico. It was everything that I'd never known growing up; warm, good food, the ocean was right at your fingertips. The Windy City isn't known for any of those things. I wanted to go and find someone to love down on those white sandy shores."

Sometimes, Garrus couldn't help but wonder if being with Shepard raised more questions about her than answers. "The what city?"

Stretching her arms above her head, Shepard sighed. "It's the other name for where I grew up. The Windy City, Chi Town, Chicago…didn't matter what you called it. It was still the home of jazz, deep dish pizza, a decent hot dog, and terrible sports teams. Summers were hot and humid while winters were freezing cold and windy. To me, that was home."

Above, the artificial clouds drifted by, a glitch causing them to disappear into a burst of static every now and then. If this bothered either Turian or human, neither mentioned it. The clouds were always the same patterns, just looped over an incredibly long span of time, but Shepard still stared as if they would change into something different.

"I never made it to any of those places." Admitted Shepard, her gaze towards the sky not moving an inch. "I was always being told to listen up or I'd be sorry. They said that my life was what it was; I couldn't change it no matter where I went. Well I never had fame or money, I was nobody. The way I ran around had me down on my knees, but I just knew I had to try. To me, it was always just around the corner. I was on my way to somewhere that was bigger and better than where I was then, I just had to get there."

Garrus couldn't tear his eyes off of Shepard. It felt like he was listening to something personal, something he shouldn't hear, but at the same time he wanted her to continue. He could imagine Shepard doing all the things she spoke of…her living in a dirty city street, dreaming of far off places that might be better if she could just catch a break.

"So what happened?"

Shepard shrugged nonchalantly. "Never happened. I joined the Alliance and was shipped off to basic, then N7 training, and then I was on the fast track. Oh, I still want to see those places one day, but they're not at the top of the list."

"What is?"

Ever so slowly, a smile crept across Shepard's face and it seemed as though she was glowing. "When this is all over, I'm going to lose my mind."

The Turian sat up so fast it was as if a spring had pushed him. His ice blue eyes were wide and glittered with alarm. "What?"

"Think about it Garrus," She reasoned calmly. "I've been on the move my whole life. If I stay still, I'd go crazy. No…I'm gonna sail the oceans of Earth."

His panic eased somewhat, Garrus allowed some of the tension to ease out of his neck and shoulders. "That…makes sense. But why not just take the Normandy and see the universe?"

Shaking her head, Shepard furrowed her brow for only a moment. "No…the universe is beautiful, but I want to sail an actual ocean. Someone once told me that out there are cheery blue skies. I just want to fix my mind with a final destination and then sleep and dream about all the other things I'll never realize."

Perhaps it was the way she spoke about it, but Garrus could actually see Shepard lounging on the deck of a ship, her face turned towards a sun that wasn't powered by batteries. To him, it sounded wonderful. He even told Shepard, which made her beam up at him.

"It does, doesn't it? But there's a lot of work to be done yet…"

Silence fell between the pair as they dwelled upon the coming battles. Finally, Garrus cleared his throat, his voice melodious as he spoke. "I…I've been thinking of reapplying to Spectre training. They made me an offer last night."

Shepard sat up, energy practically radiating off her. "Garrus, that's fantastic! You should do it, definitely."

"You really think so?" The blue eyed Turian hadn't expected such an enthusiastic response, but then again, everything with this woman seemed to be a bit of a surprise.

Nodding, Erin tucked her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "Of course! You told me on the Normandy the only reason you didn't before was because of your father. Now he's not stopping you. I say if you want it, go for it!"

While it was important to Garrus that Shepard approve – she was his commanding officer after all – he clenched his mandibles close to his cheeks. "There's just one thing…The training lasts three months, and I'm supposed to stay on the Citadel."

Let it never be said that Erin Shepard didn't catch the subtleties of conversation. Her shoulders dropped a little, and some of her former cheer seemed to dissipate. "So I guess you're not leaving with us tomorrow."

A sad little head shake from Garrus confirmed it. "No…training begins the day after tomorrow. We wouldn't even get halfway to the Terminus systems before I would have to be back here."

"But when you finish in three months, you'll be a spectre, like me. No more of that 'commander' business." The little note of laughter in her voice was enough to break the almost gloomy mood that had settled.

"True, but will there still be a place for me?"

Whipping her head around to stare at Garrus, Shepard frowned. "What?"

An almost pleading note tinged Garrus's words. "When I'm done…if I become a spectre, will there still be a place for me on the Normandy?"

She couldn't believe it. He would be a spectre, have unlimited power to go and do whatever he wanted, and yet Garrus sat there, asking if he could return to her ship and be with her mostly human crew. It was all she could do to keep her voice steady. "You know most specters don't work together."

"Most of them. Not all."

"Right. But you still want to come back to the Normandy."

"The Reapers are the real threat, you taught me that Commander. If you're going to do this, you'll need all the help you can get. We can pool resources, get the job done faster."

He'd won her over, and Shepard knew it. Sighing, she shook her head happily. "All right, it's a deal. You become a spectre and I'll make sure nobody takes your spot on the Normandy. Hell, I'll even bang up the Mako a little before we come get you."

With a roll of his eyes, Garrus couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sure whoever gets stuck fixing it in the meantime will really appreciate that, Commander."

"Tali's good with mechanics, but she's no you." Shepard shrugged at the simple admittance of what she considered to be fact. "Besides, three months isn't that long of a time. And you'll write me, won't you?"

Now it was Garrus's turn to look surprised. But Shepard looked so eager, so willing to hear from him, he fluttered his mandibles into a grin. "Fine. I'll write to you if that's what it takes to get my spot on the Normandy back. But," he held up a talon, "You still haven't told me."

Erin frowned, pushing her hair back from her face. "Told you what?"

Garrus wagged his talon at her. "Don't play that with me Commander. You said after we defeated Seren you'd tell me what made me 'special'. What made you pick me to be on your team."

Her mouth quickly formed an 'oh' shape, before Erin allowed a sly smile to take its place. Studying Garrus from beneath her long lashes, her voice was somewhat smug. "Tell you what, you write to me and you can have your spot on the Normandy. You actually become a spectre, and I'll tell you."


	10. Smile

Inspired by Uncle Kracker's "Smile"

Thank you all for the song suggestions. I'm still trying to figure out where to fit a few in here, but I appreciate it! Thank you all for continuing to read and enjoy this tale.

* * *

_**Smile**_

_Shepard,_

_ It's had to believe it's been almost three months since I've seen you last. It feels so weird to think that! Three months ago we were still just happy to be alive after fighting Seren and the Geth. Now I'm doing some of the same N7 exercises you did._

_ Yesterday was my eight mile run. I finished in a good time, but nothing close to your time. I looked it up. I didn't even know humans could run that fast! The times we're supposed to beat are adjusted for Turians, but you still beat most of my class. _

_ The physical training is rough. They beat the hell out of us every day with runs and training exercises. I was always good with my rifle, but now I can strip it, clean it, and put it back together blindfolded in half the time I used to. I can even do the same for both heavy and light pistols. The hardest part is when I wake up though. All the aches and pains from the day before seem to jump on me like a wild Varren. Still, I know I can do it because if you can get hit by a Reaper and survive, I can do this._

_ There's a lot of morality classes that I've been taking. It's pretty boring Shepard. You'd hate it. They go on and on about the right choice, taking the high road, always staying true to the law. I understand it and I get that you respect the law, but you know as well as I do that sometimes you need to break the law in order to uphold it. After all, we did technically commit mutiny to free the Normandy, but had we not done that we wouldn't be here talking about it._

_ At the end of the day though, I still wish I was back on the Normandy. I miss hearing you and Tali talk about the Flotilla and Geth and sparring with Wrex. You wrote me a while ago and you said we were all friends and I can feel it. I miss you all. For me (or any Turian really) it's so strange to be separated from my bond brother. Still, to know you'll be coming back here, to the Citadel, in a few days time is enough to set my blood to racing. I can't wait to see the Normandy again._

_ Do you recall that picture of all of us that was taken the day you became a spectre? Where we were all smiling on the Presidium? I still have it. I keep it under my pillow at night so that the other trainees won't find it and mock me. I also keep a copy on my OmniTool. It helps me think about what we're fighting for, and who I'm going to be fighting with._

_ But enough about me, since you probably already have been through this. What's going on aboard the Normandy? Joker still think he's the best damn pilot in the galaxy? I hear you're operating more and more in the Terminus systems. Stay safe, all right? It's not like you're in Alliance space any more. Is Tali still with you or has she gone back to the Flotilla yet? I know she wanted to stay to gather more information on the Geth, but I wonder if there's a time limit for her pilgrimage. Is Wrex still going to ground with you? I know if you don't take him with you he gets pent up._

_ I can't write for too much longer, since I need to sleep before training tomorrow. Shepard, I can't tell you how excited I am to know you'll be here when I'm made a spectre. You still owe me an explanation you know. Still, the thought of being back on the Normandy has me working as hard as I can. I can't wait to see the look on your face when I install some of the new upgrades I've been researching. If you don't smile, then I'm not doing my job._

Officer Vakarian paused for a moment just to make sure that the shifting above him was just his bunk mate moving in his sleep before giving his letter a quick once over. Glancing at the picture that rested on top of his pillow, he smiled. To know that in just a few days he would be with his best friend once more had his heart pounding. Carefully tucking the photo beneath his pillow, the Turian sent the message before burrowing into his sheets.

* * *

Erin Shepard practically vaulted over the mess table at the distant chime of her personal terminal. Ignoring Tali's badly muffled giggles, she beamed at the sight of a new message from Garrus. Since departing three months prior the pair had been in contact most every day. Her ocean blue eyes raced along the text, smiling at his description of the ethics classes. Within moments Shepard's nimble fingers were skimming across the keyboard to compose a reply.

_Garrus,_

_ It's so good to hear from you. I'm sorry you aren't crazy about the ethics classes, but I think it's important that you are able to see all the options you have, even if you don't take them or even agree. _

_ As for the crew, everyone's doing fine. Kaidan is relentless in his pursuit and I've found myself taking over your job of calibrating the Mako in order to get away from him. I don't know what that man doesn't understand about the word no. Maybe I need to make out with some guy in front of him or something. Ha ha. You know I'd never do that. But maybe Wrex can give him a little love tap…although I'd be concerned about what Krogans consider a love tap seeing as their way of disagreeing with someone is bashing their skull against yours._

_Tali is still aboard and will be for some time, seeing as the Council still wants us to chase after the Geth while they deliberate over the Reaper evidence. I don't know what deliberation is needed, seeing as one crashed right straight through the goddamned council chamber! But then again, that's why I'm just the spectre, not a councilor._

_Joker is doing well, and Chakwas thinks that his bones might be getting stronger since she upped the calcium dosage he has to take. When she told him that I thought he was going to cry, since that means that if he continues to improve and starts on some physical therapy, Joker might be able to walk without crutches! I know he hates the braces he has to wear, so if we can take away even one of his grievances, that'd be fantastic._

_ Don't tell anyone I said this, but I think Wrex misses you. I of course take him to ground whenever I can, but he still seems restless. I know he'd never admit it, but he liked those times when you two would spar together. When I told him that you were coming back in a few days he did that Krogan thing where they smack their chest…I think it meant he was happy, but it's so hard to tell with him._

_ You are rightly informed of our activities. I suspect that Anderson is keeping you informed. Don't worry, things have been pretty quiet out here. We've been out here three days almost, and tomorrow we should be near Alchera tomorrow. Three ships have gone missing here in the past month, but it's still weird. We haven't seen a single sign of the missing ships so far. It's got me a little on edge. Most of the crew is convinced it's Geth, but this isn't their usual MO. _

_ Even so, is it wrong that I can't care right now? I'm so excited to see my best friend again. The Normandy hasn't been the same since you've been gone. The thought of getting to see you tomorrow has my head spinning. I was thinking that after the ceremony, we'd head down to the Dark Star for some drinks to celebrate. The whole crew will come out and when we're done partying ourselves silly (which will be quite some time considering Wrex's alcohol tolerance) we can go back and collapse on the Normandy for a day or two before heading out._

_ Don't think I forgot about our deal. Once you're a spectre, I'll tell you. Promise. I hope you get this before I get there tomorrow. I'm off to finish some reports on our last encounter with the Geth and request a meeting with the Council about the Reaper evidence. I promise I'll see you really soon._

_ Erin Shepard_

_ P.S. On our first day out, you, me, and Wrex are going for the ride of our lives in the Mako. No questions or protests. _


	11. Twilight

Inspired by Vanessa Carlton's "Twilight"

No, not the shitty book series by Stephanie Meyer. This song was out waaaay before that. I like it. Quick note: You get a double update today, but you'll note these chapters are shorter than others. I've been going through some rough times since our family pet, Elwood, only has a few weeks left at best. These next few chapters are dedicated to him.

* * *

_**Twilight**_

"SHEPARD!"

The last escape pod sailed away, carrying its ruby glow away with Joker. Erin Shepard felt the radiant heat from the golden beam in front of her pushing her backwards, smashing her into a beam as she went. Her pained grunt and breathing were the only sounds she could hear in the void. Even though logic told her that it was because space was a vacuum and sound had nothing to travel off of, it still weirded her out sometimes.

She was drifting now, farther away from the Normandy or what was left of it. The husk of a ship drifted dead in space, gold beams tearing it apart while the thrusters still sparked in a feeble escape attempt. Although part of her was still concerned about her own survival, Shepard felt a pang of sorrow at the loss of her ship. That vessel had become home, had saved them from so many enemies, had carried the bomb that destroyed Seren's labs and Ashley, had destroyed a Reaper, had been home to her team and, had things gone differently, welcomed Garrus back that afternoon.

Garrus.

Where was he? He was probably waiting for her at the Citadel docks, or in training. His last letter had been so welcome, so wonderful. He was so excited to be returning…well, maybe she'd just be a few hours late to go get him. After all, it wasn't like the Alliance wouldn't get here in time to…

What was that hissing noise?

Jerking, Shepard felt her breath catch in her throat. Atmosphere. The beam must have ruptured some of the tubes in her suit and now she was leaking atmosphere. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear an N7 training instructor shouting that humans had a useful consciousness of about seven to ten seconds after being spaced, and that was being kind. The only thing she could do was try to breathe slower and shallower, but Shepard was a fighter. She did not take anything lying down. In the back of her mind, her breaths were counted out as she fell.

_One_.

Out of sheer instinct, Shepard clawed at her neck, trying to reach around and clamp the leak with her hand, writhing in the vacuum. No, not like this. She was not dying, not here, in the cold nothingness of space, choking on nothing. Not without Wrex and Garrus watching her back…no.

Feeling soon drained out of Shepard's limbs, her fingers fumbling at her neck whilst she gasped for air all the same. She couldn't die like this! She had to get to the Citadel! Had to pick up Garrus! She promised!

_Two_.

What would he do if she never showed up? Shepard clawed at her helmet, her fingers slipping along the smooth contours of the armor. Pain began to set in as her air supply trickled slowly out into the vacuum around her, misting as it did so. Her lungs seemed as though they were on fire, struggling for each breath.

_Three_.

Ever since her first days out on the street, Erin Shepard had fought for survival and won. Now she struggled in vain against the one enemy she couldn't take out with punches or guns. Her own body began to turn against itself, struggling for the precious oxygen that leaked out all around her. From Shepard's point of view, the air looked like little snowflakes. When she was a girl she had played in them once with her mother. Why she could remember that now, as she was being spaced, was beyond her.

Hands still clamped firmly on the armor, Shepard bucked and then froze. Her breath halted, her ocean blue eyes gazed straight ahead.

Beyond the debris, beyond the flickering lights of the escape pods, beyond it all lay the universe. It sprawled before the spaced commander like a map. Stars and galaxies winked just out of grasp, and for a heart wrenching moment, Erin Shepard almost cried. Never had she seen something so heartbreakingly beautiful.

Never had she wanted Garrus at her side more than that moment.

_Garrus…I'm so sorry. Take my crew, take my ship…you know who the real threat is. Go get them. I'm so sorry…This is it for me. I entrust everything to you._

_ Four._

As the sun rose over Alchera, Commander Shepard's eyes dimmed and closed, her last breath crystallizing on the inside of her helmet. Her body fell through the atmosphere, engulfed in crimson flames.

As she fell, Commander Shepard, the first human spectre, savior of the Citadel, sole survivor of the attack on Akuze, had a small smile on her face.


	12. City

Inspired by Sara Bareilles's "City"

I highly reccomend looking this song up on Youtube. Type in "Sara Bareilles City" and click the third link. It's a live version and is very pretty, although the CD version is as well.

* * *

_**City**_

From the outside, the Citadel vaguely reminded Garrus of some sort of flower. It almost made him forget about the glittering lights of the various wards that adorned the stations' wide arms. They shone brightly in hues of amber and plum and pale gold.

In a way, he reasoned, it would be easy to just disappear into the sea of lights and steel and never be seen again. He could have let that happen when he first arrived on the station, bright eyed and eager to prove himself, but his nature hadn't let him. Now that same nature had led him to working with Shepard and helped take down Seren, a rouge spectre.

He couldn't disappear into that world if he wanted to. Garrus was too proud of who he was working with or what he'd done to allow that now.

The Normandy's dock was still empty, but Garrus wasn't that concerned yet. Shepard had told him she would be here, and so she would be. If she ran a little late because of some Geth, so be it. And so the Turian waited patiently, settled in on top of a few crates of supplies the Normandy would have to take aboard anyways.

It was all he could do to keep still though. At this point, the ship was almost two hours late and Garrus just wanted to see Shepard again. He'd spent most of the day scouring the Citadel for something to give her, finally settling on a model of the Normandy. It would be something nice to spruce up her quarters. He'd gotten access to Shepard's small apartment on the Citadel – not that she ever really used it that much anyways – and left it on her desk topped with a bow.

Checking his OminTool for what felt like the thousandth time, Garrus began to feel the first tinges of worry. They were nearing the three hour mark for tardiness. Shepard had always relaxed things on the Normandy, but she was almost always within a two hour window of when she said she would arrive. The circumstances had to be pretty dire for her to be this late…

"Officer Vakarian?"

Garrus turned, slipping off the box and onto the floor to face the two C-Sec officers that now approached him, one human, one Turian. He didn't recognize them, but then again it had been some time since he had been around the academy. Firing off a quick salute, he twitched his mandibles. "Officers. What can I do for you?"

Momentarily, Garrus couldn't help but wonder if he'd managed to break the law just by waiting for a ship in its appointed dock. So lost was Garrus in his own thoughts he missed the nervous glance that shot between the uniformed officers. The human stepped forward, fidgeting with his hands. "Sir, we've been asked to escort you to the next dock over."

At this, the blue eyed Turian clenched his mandibles close in a frown. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I'm waiting for the SSV Normandy to come in."

"That's just it," Stated the other Turian calmly, "We were given orders by the SSV Normandy's ex-Captain, Councilor Anderson."

If this was a shock to Garrus, he kept up a good poker face, his eyes darting between the pair as he tried to assess the situation. "Did he say why?"

The Turian scoffed. "Sir, we're just here to follow orders, not question them. We'd best be going though. The Councilor said he would meet us at the docking bay and it wouldn't be a good idea to keep him waiting around for us."

For a heartbeat, Garrus stared at the space where the Normandy should be, torn between what he was asked to do and what he wanted to do. Finally he relented, turning and following the officers as they led him back to the elevator. The order was innocent enough, but for some reason Garrus found himself becoming increasingly nervous. While he was friendly with the now Councilor Anderson, he had never really had much of a conversation with the man that didn't directly deal with a mission or taking orders. That he had left to Shepard, since she saw him as almost a father figure.

What awaited Garrus on the other side of the elevator doors was nothing he expected. Emergency medical staff hurried between hastily set up stations, calling orders as they went. The entire length of the dock was bustling with people and as Garrus hesitantly followed the C-Sec officers, he began to realize that some of the faces and uniforms looked awfully familiar.

Towards the end of the dock it was quieter, a smaller group huddled together. As they approached, Councilor Anderson strode forward to meet them. He quickly waved away the officers, nodding his thanks before turning to Garrus. "Officer Vakarian, thank you for coming so quickly."

Now the Turian was bordering on alarm. "Of course Councilor. But might I ask why I'm here? Shepard should be returning today and I wanted to be there to meet her."

For an instant, something akin to pain flickered across the human's deep amber eyes before he turned away. "I'm afraid that won't be happening today."

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't think Shepard is returning to the Citadel."

"I don't understand sir."

Heaving a heavy sigh, Anderson shook his head. "Perhaps your friends can explain it better than I can."

As he stepped aside, Garrus stared in disbelief at the group at the far end of the dock. They stood or sat on a group of crates, everyone looking as if they were going to be ill. Joker sat on the ground, his back against a crate, his arm in a sling and his hat shoved down far on his face. Slowly, Garrus stepped forward, his curiosity rising. "What's going on? Where's the Normandy? Where's Shepard?"

Silence fell louder than any crashing waterfall. The Turian's ice blue eyes sought someone, anyone really, who would answer him. Finally, Liara spoke in a soft voice. "We were getting ready to finish our patrol over Alchera when a ship showed up on the long range scanners. It did not match any of our known signatures. At first we were not concerned, since our stealth systems were engaged."

"Fat lot of good that did us." Wrex rumbled, his crimson eyes locked on the Turian. "They'd changed course and were on intercept vector within moments of us noticing them. Had this beam that blasted straight through the hull."

The information struck Garrus like a punch. "So the Normandy's…gone? What about Shepard?"

"Yeah…I tried to get her to leave." Kaidan's voice sounded so pained that Garrus couldn't help but feel a little sad for him as he spoke. "She was sending out the distress beacon…Shepard ordered me to the escape pods. Last I saw of her she was headed towards the cockpit, through the CIC, even though it had all been blown straight open by the enemy."

By this point, Garrus could no longer bear the suspense that seemed to wrap itself into a ball around his gut. "But where is she?" He demanded, a tremor of fear finally creeping into his voice.

"Oh Garrus," Tali's voice, even filtered by her helmet, sounded as if she had been sobbing, "Shepard…Shepard didn't make it. She was spaced before the Alliance arrived."

"It's all my fault!" Joker spoke for the first time, slamming his uninjured hand against the ground as hard as he could without actually breaking something. "If I hadn't stayed, if I'd just left when I should have, she never would have come to rescue me and she'd still be alive!"

Reeling back, Garrus felt his mandibles fluttering as he tried to grasp for some sense of reality. Spinning, he sought Anderson praying this was all some bad joke and that the brunette would pop out of one of the crates, grinning like a loon and gloating about how she'd totally fooled him.

One look at Anderson's pained expression dashed any hope that Garrus had managed to hold onto up to that point. Sound seemed to blur and fade away as he moved towards the edge of the dock, half in a trance.

It wasn't possible. Not her. Not Shepard. Not the woman who had destroyed a Reaper and saved the galaxy. In the back of his mind, Garrus registered that he was screaming in anguish, holding onto the railing as if it were the only thing rooting him to the world anymore.

It was impossible. He was going to become a spectre in a few days, and she was supposed to be there. She'd promised.

_One_.

It wasn't fair! It simply wasn't fair! How could Shepard have been so selfish as to not leave when she had the chance? Rage seemed to flow through Garrus's veins, burning like fire. Why her? Why not anyone in the world but her?

_Two_.

A hand on his arm made the enraged Turian snarl, but the sound died in his throat. Joker stood on wobbly legs before him, no crutches, just as Shepard had said in her last message, hot tears spilling from his grass green eyes. His mouth moved and yet Garrus couldn't hear a word.

_Three_.

Finally bringing himself to look at his team, Garrus could already sense their unspoken sorrow. Of all of them, he was the only one who had been safe and sound at the time of the attack, the only one not there with her. Why hadn't he been there? Why couldn't he have just put off the training for another month or two? What difference would it have made anyway if he was a spectre or just an ex-C-Sec officer? What had mattered was being on that team, where he belonged.

_Four_.

As the numbing reality sunk in, Garrus could feel his world spinning horribly out of his control. It felt as if the world were tumbling down around him and yet he still would be alive to live in the horrible aftermath. An aftermath that didn't include ocean blue eyes, a grin that was both heartbreaking and inspiring, a laugh that sounded like wind chimes in the breeze, a person who had accepted him just as he was, a woman who'd willingly chosen to throw herself in the line of fire not just for him, but for the universe, the friend who'd wormed her way into Garrus's life and refused to leave…a world without Erin Shepard.

That woman was dead. She had been spaced, her body probably burning to ash in the atmosphere of Alchera. Above him, the lights of the Citadel still sparkled off the steel buildings and before his world went completely dark, Garrus wondered if fading away into the lights was still an option.


	13. Goodbye To You

Inspired by Michelle Branch's "Goodbye To You"

* * *

_**Goodbye To You**_

One week is a damned long time when it feels like your heart has been crushed within your own chest. Garrus Vakarian may have been numb, but that didn't mean he wasn't keeping up with the world from the cocoon of his apartment.

On day one, he'd come back into awareness within his own apartment, he'd instantly tried to escape back to the safe darkness of his own mind to no avail.

Day two, he'd smashed some of the more breakable items within his apartment, save anything that was given to him from her or reminded him of her. Needless to say, all the pictures and their frames survived.

Day three, the Turian dropped out of the spectre program. It just didn't seem right anymore.

By day four, the Alliance had called off the search for her, officially listing her as KIA. The funeral was to be three days from then.

On day Five, Garrus ate something, but only because Wrex and Tali had intervened before he starved to death. Wrex had hit him had enough to send stars winking in the Turian's vison.

Day six, the Turian promised Tali that yes, he would be at Shepard's funeral – memorial service really, there was no body to display much to his relief – despite what anyone said.

And so, on the morning of day seven – Garrus had long since given up on dates or the names of days – he rose and stared at the civilian clothes he'd planned on wearing. The clothes were simple, done with silver and black, the Turian colors of mourning. With a heavy heart, he slipped the soft cloth on just in time to hear the soft knock on his door.

"Coming." Even to his own ears, Garrus's voice was raspy and soft, not as melodious as it had been. Opening the door, Garrus found himself staring at the entirety of Shepard's team, Tali at the front wrapped in deep purple as opposed to her usual lilac.

As he joined the group, Garrus studied the different colors and styles that were presented before him. Wrex wore his family's rust red armor which didn't seem like much but for a Krogan this was a huge tribute; to wear one's family armor was a huge sign of respect. Kaidan and Joker wore suits of all black, as was traditional per human custom. Behind him, Liara was wrapped in a dress of the deepest gold, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Still, she nodded at Garrus as they set off.

"It is good that you will be here. She…She would want it."

The thought of where they were going caused Garrus's heart to drop straight to his boots. Honestly he wanted to be anywhere but near people. He just knew that there would be people there who didn't care about Shepard but just wanted to look good.

The walk was a blur. Civilians and workers gave them a wide berth and respectful nods of the head. For some reason, this was a sort of comfort to Garrus; it was almost a reassurance that other people were mourning her loss as well.

Alliance brass had decided that the service would be held in front of the Mass Relay statue that had served as the receiving end of the Conduit. As the group approached, Garrus felt the first twinge of nerves. He'd never been to a human funeral before. What was expected of him? He very much wished that he had thought about this beforehand.

Entering the space for the funeral, all thoughts or feelings seemed to drain from the Turian. Chairs had been arranged so there was an aisle down the center and at the front was a podium. But to be honest, Garrus could handle all that. It was what was to the left of the podium that made his stomach drop.

There was no body, he knew that. Everyone did. But for some reason, the brass had decided to pay for a coffin of handsome mahogany to be displayed up front. Atop the coffin was a pall of black cloth and a picture of Shepard had been placed on that.

Upon seeing the coffin, Garrus was rooted to the spot, stiff as a board. Tali only needed one look at her friend to realize he would go no further. Taking a seat in the back row so she could sit right in front of him, Tali reached around to give him a reassuring squeeze of the hand, but she could have been trying to comfort stone.

People filed in, slowly taking their seats. Among those gathered, Garrus spotted the three council members, Ambassador – now Advisor – Udina, Councilor Anderson, the Normandy crew, Dr. Chakwas joined them as they arrived so she could sit by Joker, and more Alliance brass than he'd thought possible. Each took their turn up at the podium, saying how brave Shepard was, how she was the best humanity had to offer, and how she had gallantly given her life for her crew. Only Anderson didn't speak, his head bowed and his uniform hat clasped tightly in his lap.

To the attending politicians, the speeches were perfect, and they all nodded solemnly. To anyone who had known Shepard, they were horribly false. It wasn't that the words weren't true, Garrus begrudgingly admitted, but they simply didn't capture everything that Shepard was. Had it not been for Tali sobbing in front of him and Wrex standing rigidly at his side, Garrus might have marched straight up to the front and punched the next speaker for his failure to do justice to such a woman.

And just as quickly as it had begun, it was over. The attendees filtered out back to their regular lives where they could forget about just another human woman dying in the vacuum of space. Moving for the first time, Garrus hesitantly made his way down the asile towards the coffin, pausing beside it.

Of course the Brass would have picked Shepard's file photo to display at her funeral, he thought wryly, gazing at the frame. Her blue eyes bored straight ahead, short mahogany hair behind her ears as it always was. But there was something about her mouth…she wasn't smiling, but at the same time Garrus could almost see her attempting to hold in a grin.

With a shaking hand, Garrus reached out and laid his talons on the coffin. Of course he knew it was empty, but at the same time he almost wished it wasn't just to see her face one last time. Had she died afraid? If she did, would it show on her face? Dismissing the idea, Garrus fought to keep himself in check. Of course she wasn't afraid; this was Commander Shepard they were talking about. Shepard would have gone with a smile on her face because that's the way she damn well wanted it. Perhaps it was his line of thought or the mental image of the last time Garrus had seen Shepard smile, but he finally broke.

For the first time since his mother's death, Garrus Vakarian bowed his head and cried. Glassy tears slid along his face and between his mandibles, tasting of salt. He did not cry out or choke, he simply let the tears fall.

He had failed again. Garrus could finally allow himself to feel the guilt over her death in its fullest now that it seemed more official. He should have been there. He'd promised to go with her, to protect her. The one thing he'd sworn to watch over, to hold onto, he'd abandoned and he had died.

A small part of Garrus's mind recalled that Anderson had invited the Normandy crew and Shepard's team to his apartment for drinks. It was to be a place where they could fondly remember the Commander as she had been in life. He had said that "it was what she would have wanted."

There it was again. That phrase… 'it's what she would have wanted.' What did that even mean? Garrus had a hard time understanding why everyone kept using it. How did they know what Shepard wanted? Of course they were all close, so it was possible, but how could they know for sure what she had wanted in death? Everyone seemed so convinced they knew exactly what she wanted from beyond the grave, but none of them could ever really know.

Finally raising his eyes to the picture, Garrus blinked away tears that blurred his vision. He wanted to burn her image into his mind so he could never forget the woman who so irrevocably changed his life. It seemed so unfair that a woman with so much ahead of her, so much left to do, could be ripped out of the world so quickly.

For a long moment, he stared into the photograph, trying to lose himself in the depths of Shepard's eyes. He could almost hear her voice; as if she were speaking to him from across the void.

_Funny it ends this way, Vakarian._

Funny would not be the word he would have chosen. Tragic or unfair would be closer to the mark.

_Life goes on, even without me. The sun rises, children are born, people laugh, and the Reapers will come._

Raising his gaze to the stone statue behind the coffin, Garrus could feel the haze of pain sharpening, drawing things into better focus. She had given her life for what she believed in…Shepard knew what she did had risks, but she did it for the good of the universe not just herself.

_When the time comes Garrus, what will you do?_

Slowly, oh so slowly, Garrus returned his gaze to Shepard's photograph. Her blue eyes seemed to sparkle behind the glass, almost watching him, trying to figure him out. In the silence, those ocean eyes asked a simple question.

_What will you do?_

Time slowed around the Turian, his heart stopping and stuttering for several moments. Everyone had their own ideas of how to honor the fallen woman, but what would he do? The answer came in the silence just as her imagined voice had, simple and clear as a bell.

Sparing only one last glance at her picture, Garrus left. He returned to his apartment, taking only his armor, some credits, and the rifle she had presented him with before setting off to fight Seren before jumping on the first shuttle he could find. There were enough credits in his account to pay rent for his apartment for three years, should he ever need to return. Somehow he doubted he would.

Erin Shepard had died fighting for what she believed in. The only fitting tribute to her memory would be to do the same as she had done. Glancing at the ticket clasped firmly in his talon, Garrus read the destination once more while the shuttle made for the Mass Relay. In human script, the blue eyed Turian didn't need a translator to know it read Omega. Overhead the announcer stated that this would be the last look at the Citadel before they left the system.

Garrus Vakarian did not look back.


	14. All I Ever Wanted

Inspired by Kelly Clarkson's "All I Ever Wanted"

Thank you all for the reviews and comments. They are always appreciated. Happy 4th of July!

* * *

_**All I Ever Wanted**_

Garrus Vakarian sat by the window of the warehouse, sniper rifle propped against his body. It had been a year since he first arrived on Omega feeling like a rookie straight from the C-Sec academy. Now he had his own team and base of operations.

Omega was nothing like the Citadel. There was no red tape and no end to the criminals…it seemed a perfect fit for the justice loving Turian. Still, Garrus did find that he missed looking up and seeing the false night sky projected above him as it was on the Citadel presidium. A small price to pay for doing so much good.

"Hey."

Whipping around, Garrus shut down his OmniTool hurriedly, his ice blue eyes alert. It took a moment for him to relax once he saw it was his unofficial second in command, Sidonis. The fellow Turian smirked, holding out a glass filled with some form of dextro amino alcohol. As he accepted the glass, Garrus offered the other Turian the smallest of smiles as he settled onto some boxes across from his leader, his gold eyes glittering in the dim light.

"All quiet out here, eh Vakarian?"

Wordlessly nodding, Garrus sipped at the burning liquid. "A nice change. But let's keep an eye out, just in case."

"Come on Vakarian, you've been up here all evening on lookout. We all know something's up."

Garrus couldn't help but wince inwardly at Sidonis's tone. Now he knew how Shepard felt when he'd been able to pick her façade apart after she'd so carefully constructed it for whatever occasion. Still, he knew exactly what the other Turian was getting at.

Reluctantly, Garrus raised his OmniTool, resting it on the ledge so that Sidonis would be able to see the picture displayed on the tangerine screen.

Erin Shepard beamed up at them, her likeness frozen forever on Garrus's OmniTool. Blue eyes sparkled with laughter and a smear of frosting was seen beneath her right eye. Despite himself, Sidonis leaned forward, intrigue shining in his amber eyes. It was no secret among Garrus's crew that their leader had worked with the late Commander Shepard, but aside from that the extent of the pair's relationship remained a complete mystery. Of course the VI for the base had been named 'Shepard' after her, but whenever someone tried to ask Garrus about it he pointedly changed the subject. Eventually they just stopped asking.

"She would have been thirty this year."

The emotion in Garrus's voice caused Sidonis to snap his attention to his leader. Garrus's ice blue eyes seemed to soften as he stared out over the bridge that led to the base, a new emotion tingeing his melodic voice.

"We took that picture on her birthday last year…it seems like so long ago now. She looks so happy…"

Sidonis swallowed hard before speaking again. "You two were close."

A weak chuckle answered the other Turian as Garrus shook his head. "She was my best friend. Before she left we became bond brothers."

The other Turian's surprise was obvious, seeing as he choked on his drink. After a few moments of sputtering and choking, he managed to get enough air to reply, amber eyes wide. "You're kidding, right?"

"Why the hell would I be?" Garrus was abruptly hard and cold, fury weaving through the many tones in his voice. "We were best friends. She watched my back and I watched hers. She understood and didn't care that I wasn't a great Turian or C-Sec officer. Shepard just wanted someone she could trust, and I could do that."

Quickly Sidonis raised his hands, leaning back a little. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I just…well, I was surprised. I've never really met anyone who had a bond brother of the opposite sex, much less another race."

Silence enveloped the pair, each lost in thought. Garrus stared out over the bridge, his drink forgotten while Sidonis finished his own beverage, gazing at Garrus.

"You know, she would make a really good bond brother." The other Turian's tone was apologetic, his eyes seeking Garrus's ice blue orbs. "Although I'm not sure if the term bond brother would apply to her."

Before Garrus could release the feral snarl he'd built up in the back of his throat, Sidonis kept talking quickly, almost as if he knew that he was in trouble. "I had two younger sisters before the Blood Pack killed them. We were always close and when they got older they chose their bond brothers. But they always told me that for girls they called each other 'soul sisters' instead of bond brothers. What I'm trying to say is that you might have been Shepard's bond brother, but she would be your soul sister."

Tension hummed between the two for a moment before Garrus heaved a sigh, backing down. "I suppose."

"Is that why you came here? To Omega?" Sidonis pressed on. None of the other members of Garrus's team had gotten this close to figuring out why someone with his skill set would come to a dump like Omega and he wasn't exactly telling them.

Had Sidonis not been so intently listening, he might have missed Garrus's reply it was so softly spoken. "No. I came because it was the only thing I could do left for her. She died fighting for what she believed in, so the only thing I can do to honor her is the same. If I die here, it will be in her name."

"So you came here to die."

"No. I came here to try and forget." Garrus seemed determined, his voice hardening. "I tried everything. I put away the pictures, I left the place that reminded me of her, but she still has followed me here. In the end, I want a simple way to forget her yet remember her at the same time."

Sidonis pressed his mandibles close, confused. "So you came to this pisshole, formed a team like hers, and now you're just waiting to die?"

Shrugging, Garrus pushed aside his drink silently. Truth be told, this was better than when he'd first arrived on Omega. In a blind rage, he'd gone on something of a drinking binge and gotten pretty beat up. That had truly woken him up to what he was doing. The Turian had completely revised his plan, almost completely giving up alcohol and starting to build up a team systematically while building his own reputation.

Sidonis had approached him in Afterlife one evening, claiming he'd heard of the other's actions and wanted to help. It was only a few weeks later that Garrus had earned his new name of sorts. He'd rescued a human family from a gang of Blue Suns who had been pressing them for money using incendiary bullets. When he approached to see if they were all right, he'd had to step over the flaming corpses, giving him the appearance of a fiery halo. The family praised him as their savior, their Archangel and the name had stuck.

Fate apparently had a sick sense of humor. Garrus could still hear Shepard telling him about archangels back on the first Normandy and now he was stuck with the name.

"Sidonis, it was that or wait for her to return from the dead." A hint of his old humor crept into Garrus's voice. "Besides, this way I can honor her and remain true to myself. Shepard taught me that I had to do what I thought was right…she always followed her gut and I'm doing the same."

Abruptly standing, Garrus snatched the glass up and held it out the window, gazing into the liquid for a long moment. "One year ago she left my life. To Shepard."

He tipped the cup over, sending the liquid splashing to the pavement below before patting Sidonis on the shoulder, moving towards his own room. "Think about what I said. Keep a sharp eye out for Eclipse mercs."

Archangel had barely made it to the door before Sidonis's voice rang out from his perch near the window.

"You miss her, don't you?"

The tan-gray Turian could feel the other's eyes boring into his back, through his royal blue armor. Still, he lowered his gaze to his boots, clasping his rifle a little tighter.

"A woman like Shepard is irreplaceable. I'm reminded of that fact every time I wake up."

Sidonis didn't need to hear the tremble in his leader's usually steady voice or see the way his shoulders slumped. A year had passed since the savior of the Citadel had passed into the void, her spirit shooting to the stars, but Garrus Vakarian had never stopped feeling the pain that her absence caused. It was also obvious that no matter what anyone told him, Garrus Vakarian continued to blame himself for her death, even a year later. He had left everything he knew on the Citadel to try and forget only to find that here on Omega she was still following him. Even in death, Commander Shepard was watching over her bond brother.

All he had wanted was to forget, but in leaving he remembered her more clearly than ever.


	15. No Air

Inspired by Jordin Sparks's "No Air"

* * *

_**No Air**_

Steel against her back. Shepard could vaguely feel the unforgiving surface beneath her spine. Funny, this didn't seem familiar. Why was she so tired anyways?

"…me?…Shepard, get out of that bed now, this facility is under attack."

Her ocean blue eyes fluttered open and Shepard drew a deep breath. The air tasted of sterilization and the general weirdness of a medical bay.

It was glorious.

Even as she relished the taste of the air, Shepard felt a pain spike through her jaw. Bringing a hand up to massage the pain, the voice from overhead spoke again.

"Shepard, your scars aren't healed but I need you to get moving."

_No shit, Sherlock_. Shepard attempted to push herself up but pain rocketed through her side. Once in a semi-sitting position, she was able to see. Erin Shepard was most definitely in some sort of medical facility. Outside the window she could see bullets pinging past a roaring inferno.

_Of course_. Shepard swung her legs off the table, only registering that her armor and pistol would be in a locker at the other end of the med bay. _But then again, nobody ever calls Commander Shepard for an easy job_.

As she suited up, Shepard assessed the situation. She was alone in a medical bay of sorts, run by unknown people. She had obviously been operated on, she could feel the scars all over her body. Where was she? What had happened? Where was the crew of the Normandy?

Where was Garrus?

Erin turned to reach for her pistol and froze as something caught her attention in her peripheral vision. It took her a moment, but she finally found a reflective surface to survey her reflection in. Her face was lined with scars that pulsed a dull orange in the fluorescent overhead lighting. Gently tracing them with her fingertips, Shepard was glad that the scar under her left eye was still intact. What had caught her attention earlier was her hair. While she vaguely recalled it being just an inch above her shoulders before, now it was long enough to go an inch past her collarbone.

Using a strip of gauze, Shepard tied it back into a ponytail. She felt numb, confused. With barely another thought, she examined the pistol. "This pistol has no thermal clip."

Above, the voice confirmed that she was in fact in a medical bay and that she would have to find a clip as she went. The door blew open and Shepard smirked from her position behind a table. She'd always been lucky. The brunette sprinted to the next room, snagging the thermal clip off the floor as the woman on the intercom informed her that someone had hacked security drones and was attempting to kill her.

It seemed everyone here had a knack for stating the obvious.

Now completely tuning out the voice, Shepard moved forward, her pistol cracking sharp reports as she encountered the security drones. All the while, she was left to the loneliness of her new armor and a strange facility.

Inwardly, she ached for someone to watch her back. She wished that Garrus were there. He would have made some wise crack and while it wouldn't make the situation any better, she would've felt better about it.

Skittering around a corner, Shepard paused only to loot a few wall safes and download open files to her OmniTool. They would come in handy later. She became aware that the woman's voice overhead had dissolved into static, her last words being something about mechs closing in.

"Shepard? What the hell…?"

A new voice, male this time. Erin peered around the corner to see a dark skinned young man firing across a chasm at a pair of security mechs. Taking a deep breath, she sprinted the distance, skidding in as a new wave arrived. The man's deep chocolate eyes searched her ocean blue ones as she knelt beside him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were still a work in progress!"

Erin shook her head. "Are you with Miranda?"

He seemed to grimace for a second before replying. "Yeah. Sorry, I forget this is all new to you right now… I'm Jacob Taylor. I've been stationed here for…"

However long he'd been here – wherever _here_ was – Shepard wouldn't find out. A mech took a shot at the pair, prompting Jacob to stand and blow the offending droid's head clean off. Jacob crouched again, close to Shepard. "Things must be worse than I thought if Miranda's got you running around. I'll fill you in, but we better get you to the shuttle first."

Shepard would have none of it. "I know this isn't the best time, but I'm sick of stumbling around when I don't know what's going on."

"Fair enough," Jacob admitted. "I'll give you the quick version. You and your ship were attacked and destroyed. You were killed. Dead as dead can be when they brought you here. Our scientists have spent the last two years putting you back together. You've been comatose or worse that whole time. Welcome back to your life."

"This doesn't look like an Alliance facility." Ventured Shepard quickly, trying to keep her mind off of what Jacob had just stated. She just needed to focus for a few more minutes.

Shaking his head, Jacob cast a quick glance over at the mechs. "It isn't. I can't say much more than that right now. The Alliance declared you killed in action. The whole galaxy thinks you're dead. If we don't get to those shuttles, they'll be right."

Again with the dead thing. Why did everyone have to keep bringing that up? Shepard winced, but pressed on. "Were there any other survivors from the Normandy?"

Now it seemed as though Jacob's patience had run its course. "I'll tell you what, you help me finish off these mechs and I'll play twenty questions with you all day. We're low on thermal clips, but I'm a biotic. Just give the order when you want me to hit them with the good stuff."

He stood, raised his arm and with a soft thump, one of the mechs was sent careening into the chasm. Ducking back down, he offered a sheepish grin. Shepard couldn't help herself; she may be alone in a strange place, but this Jacob Taylor didn't seem so bad.

With the efficiency that came from years of training, Shepard and Taylor dispatched the mechs, the last one careening off into the void with a synthesized "ERRRRROOOORRR" as it went. Holstering his pistol, Jacob sighed. "Okay, I promised I'd answer your questions. What do you want to know?"

"You said they spent two years rebuilding me. How bad were my injuries?" The question was out of Shepard's mouth before she could stop herself. On one hand, she really didn't want to know how bad it was if the Alliance had declared her KIA. But then again, she needed to know.

Jacob was solemn as he shook his head. "I'm no doctor, but it was bad. When I first saw you, you were nothing but meat and tubes. Anywhere else they'd have put you in a coffin. But Project Lazarus was different. Cutting edge technology."

Erin had to grimace at the other man's oh-so-eloquent metaphor. Meat and tubes. Pleasant. "What do you mean? Cloning? Cybernetics?"

This was the part Shepard was a little nervous about. How bad was it and how much of her was really….her?

"I don't know the details, you'd have to ask the scientists. But I'm pretty sure you're not a clone. They wanted to bring you back exactly as you were. You're still you…" Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as he went on. "You just might have a few extra bits and pieces now."

Her eyes snapped open in alarm. "Extra bits and pieces? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Now poor Jacob looked uncomfortable. He shifted from foot to foot, his hand twitched towards his pistol. "You weren't a biotic when the Normandy crashed…when they were rebuilding you, someone thought it would be a good idea to install some next gen biotic amps."

"I'm a BIOTIC?" It wasn't that Shepard had anything against biotics, in fact she'd always respected their power. But now she gaped at her new ally. "I can't believe this! Now I have to learn to fight all over again!"

Her rage died out in a growl when Shepard realized she was probably terrifying the poor man in front of her. Inhaling through her teeth, she released it slowly, oh so slowly. "All right. The last thing I remember is the Normandy blowing up. Did anyone else make it?"

It was true…Jacob had said two years, but to Shepard it felt like only a few days or weeks at most. The pain of being slammed into that metal beam and then the noise of atmosphere hissing out into space…She shook her head to clear the memory away. Now was not the time. Her blue eyes sought Jacob, worry causing her scars to stand out more sharply than before.

"Just about everyone survived. A few servicemen from the lower decks didn't get out. Navigator Pressley was killed by an explosion. But everyone else including the non Alliance crew – the Asari, Liara, and the Quarian – they all made it out alive."

A sense of relief flooded Shepard's senses. All this time, she had been worried about them. Of course she had known that Joker made it and Kaidan, but she'd worried about the others as well. Even Garrus, although she knew he'd been safely on the Citadel at the time of the attack. "Do you know what any of them are doing now?"

Jacob shook his head, sending Shepard's hopes plummeting. "I don't know Commander. It's been two years. They've moved on…left the Alliance. Could be anywhere."

Heaving a sigh, Shepard shook her head, her now long hair tickling the back of her neck. "All right. Let's just…go. Get out of here."

With Jacob at her side, and for a brief span a man named Wilson, Shepard cruised through the base. Her head felt as though it was spinning. There was just too much to take in and not enough time to do it in while being fired upon by mercs. Now, seated in the small shuttle across from Miranda and Jacob, Shepard had a moment to think.

Like Jacob, Miranda was a biotic, but between the two it was obvious that she was the stronger one. Her long ebony locks fell around her shoulders perfectly, making the newly reconstructed ex-spectre curse her straight, unruly mahogany hair.

They'd quizzed her on everything from her background to who she left behind on Virmire to who she'd recommended for the council. She'd replied automatically, her mind miles elsewhere. Her team, scattered. She could deal with that, she would find them. What Shepard wanted, more than anything else, was her best friend.

Where was Garrus? Jacob hadn't mentioned him at all and neither had Miranda. Leaning against the window of the shuttle, Shepard took a deep breath to steady herself.

She had died. Erin Shepard took one more deep breath and admitted it. She had died, full out death. Not only that, but according to the logs she'd been able to look at, she had remained so for the better part of a year. Her brain had remained inactive for about seven months, while her heart hadn't begun to beat for five more.

Knowing all this didn't help alleviate the hollow feeling in Shepard's chest. It was bad enough she was alone and working with Cerberus, but all her closest friends thought her to be dead. Had she not been in a shuttle with two total strangers, Shepard might have cried. Instead, the thought of living in a world where Garrus Vakarian wasn't by her side anymore stopped her cold.

As Shepard dropped her head into her hands, it seemed as though the air that had once tasted so sweet had roughly been torn from her lungs just as it had been two years earlier, only this time there would be no escape into the void. The pain lingered as the air seemed to slip away.


	16. Vanilla Twilight

Inspired by Owl City's "Vanilla Twilight"

Dedicated to Elwood, the best pet a girl could ask for.

* * *

_**Vanilla Twilight**_

It was public opinion that nights on Omega were worse than its days. Not that it was easy to tell the difference between the two anyway. During the day there was only the slight, almost imperceptible shift of the lights to a brighter setting than at night. To someone who'd been on Omega for just a little shy of two years, it was easy to see the change.

To Garrus Vakarian, the days were far worse than the nights. They seemed to stretch on into eternity. Not that the nights were much better. Without the artificial sky to give him anything to look at, Garrus spent as much time as he could leading his team on missions and when he wasn't doing that, he slept as little as possible. If he was awake, he could distract himself with things to do. While Garrus slept, his mind had nothing to do but show him images of his lost friend.

When Shepard wasn't actively in his thoughts during the day, she moved through his dreams like the ghost she had become.

Rolling over onto his back, Garrus tried to bore a hole in the ceiling with his ice blue eyes. He'd been here for two years already…and one week actually. They'd successfully diverted an Eclipse shipment and Garrus had taken quite the prize; killing one of the top lieutenants.

And yet it wasn't enough. It never was. He could take down as many shipments and gangs he wanted but it would never be enough. It could never drive the thought of her from his head. Momentarily, Garrus wondered if he was crazy for still having her on his mind for almost two years straight.

Closing his eyes, the Turian dredged up the memory of Shepard the last time he'd seen her. Her mahogany hair, darker than any Turian he'd ever seen, contrasted sharply with her alabaster skin. A pale pink flush colored her cheeks, causing her ocean blue eyes to sparkle with life and laughter. That rare smile, stretching from ear to ear and lighting up her face with a sort of glow. The faint scent of vanilla wafted off her hair, along with something else that was so inherently Shepard that it couldn't even be named.

Spirits, he'd never wished for anything more than he had wished that she was alive and with him now. Slowly he tilted his head to stare at his outstretched talon. Shepard always knew how to make things better without saying much of anything…and right now he needed her more than ever.

With a soft groan, Garrus sat up, his plates rubbing against each other just the tiniest bit while he moved. As he headed towards the shower, Garrus rested his hand on the picture he'd kept under his pillow for the past two years; the same one he'd had during his brief stint at spectre training. The one of the whole crew together.

Like always, Garrus took his sweet time in the lukewarm water. Raising his face so that the jet pelted him with water, the Turian relished the pressure. Sure, a lot of people would be considered mental for continually thinking about someone for two years after their death, but he couldn't help it. Even on Omega, surrounded by other people and his team, Garrus felt lonely…they knew him, but they didn't _know_ him. When he thought about Shepard, the loneliness eased up a little.

To the people of Omega, he was Archangel; a vigilante who fought for those who couldn't fight for themselves. A warrior feared for his prowess with a sniper rifle and his well trained team that aided him. To his team, he was both Archangel and Garrus Vakarian; a Turian who had wanted to do something in the world and set about it the only way he knew how.

Truthfully, he was all those things but at the same time they would never know the full story. He was an ex-C-Sec officer who had taken a leap of faith and found a friend. He'd jumped and Shepard had been there waiting, her ocean eyes smiling as if to say '_I knew you'd come with_.'

Soap bubbles swirled below him, running down the drain in a spiral. In all honesty, he had a gut feeling that as long as he would live, nobody would know him like Shepard had. That woman had found a way into his life, just the tiniest little crack, and wormed in, changing him irrevocably. She had shown him a life outside of C-Sec, outside of what his father wanted and he lived it for a few short months. Even after her death he found himself wanting that life badly.

The shower shut off with a soft thump and Garrus stepped out to let his plates dry in the warm bathroom air. Looking back, he'd tried to create that life for himself; the team, the actions, even the base to some extent, and yet it wasn't the same. In hindsight, the thing that really made it special was Shepard.

Snarling fiercely, Garrus slammed his fist into the steel wall, ignoring the pain that rocketed through it. It wasn't fair. She wasn't supposed to die. She'd promised to come back for him and she'd died instead. A woman with so much ahead of her like that…where was the justice in it all?

Why hadn't it been him? Or Kaidan? Hell, just anyone but Shepard? Slowly peeling his hand off the wall, Garrus tried to blink away hot tears that threatened to form. Stupid Shepard, hadn't she known that bond brothers always kept their promises? And she had failed…she hadn't told him what she'd told him she would when he became a spectre – not that he made it anyway – and now she never would.

But then again, he reasoned, massaging his talons, had she lived and someone else died in her place, she'd feel guilty. Hell, she'd probably feel worse than Garrus was feeling right now. Indeed, Shepard had always told Garrus that nobody got left behind on her crew. It had nearly destroyed her to leave Ashley on Virmire.

Venomously jerking the cold tap on, Garrus splashed a few handfuls of cold water across his face. He looked like hell to be perfectly honest. In the past few days he'd only gotten a handful of hours of sleep and it was beginning to show. He'd considered stims, but then rejected the idea on the fact that he wasn't going to risk getting addicted to them. What would Shepard think if she saw him getting hooked on some stupid drug just so he could stay awake?

Dressing in his usual battle armor, Garrus snagged his rifle and headed towards his lookout on the top floor. Mentally, he ran down everything he had to go through. When his day team returned, someone would have to look into repairing the VI core since something or someone had completely fried it in the past few days. The next evening he would be helping Sidonis on a personal job, just him and the other Turian, so that would be an interesting change of pace. The amber eyed Turian had seemed fidgety about asking for help, so Garrus suspected it had to do with his family or another personal matter.

Curtly nodding at one of his teammates, Garrus settled into his sniper post. The bridge below was quiet, but that didn't mean someone couldn't sneak up along the boulevard. Shepard would have approved of his location….it was a perfect home base. Easily defendable with the bridge, and with enough people he could hold out for days.

There she was again…invading his thoughts. He reached around to rub at the back of his head, just under the fringe. Shepard had written something to him before her death…he'd remarked that the Normandy was probably the same without him. In true Shepard fashion, she'd written back so eloquently he'd had to save it.

'_Garrus, nobody could take your place here. It's just not the same. I swear, as many times as I blink today, that's how many times I'll think of you in a day.'_

He chuckled as he skimmed the saved note on his OmniTool. _Only Shepard…_he mused while returning his gaze to the path below. Still, he had to admit that while she would always beat him in a thousand things – shooting, diplomacy, anything she had set her mind to, really – he would have her beat on one thing.

Turians blinked twice as much as humans due to the fact that their high body temperature caused their eyes to dry a little bit quicker than a human. Garrus had vowed that as many times as he blinked during the day, he would think of Shepard at night.


	17. Somewhere Out There

Inspired by "Somewhere Out There" from Fivel: An American Tail

AUTHOR'S WARNING: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, listen to the version form the movie. Your ears will bleed. Try and youtube a version done by an all women a capella choir. Much prettier.

* * *

_**Somewhere Out There**_

Say what you will about Cerberus, they at least knew how to build a room with a view.

Erin Shepard stared at the skylight built into her cabin while hanging off the edge of her bed. The new Normandy was spacious and better lit than the old one, which Shepard was thankful for, but it still didn't feel like home yet.

At the high risk of sounding clichéd, Shepard was a big believer in the idea that home was where the heart is. Her heart had been with her team…this new ship wouldn't be home until they returned.

Miranda had offered the suggestion of heading to Omega first to aquire Mordin Solus, a Salarian scientist who might be able to counteract the seeker swarms they'd encountered on Freedom's Progress.

Freedom's Progress. Covering her eyes with her arm, Shepard groaned. What a mess that had been…she hated Cerberus more for attacking the Quarian fleet and causing Tali to distrust her. Tali had been like a little sister to her and to lose her trust was devastating. Being dead for two years really had changed everything.

At the very least, Shepard took comfort in the fact that Joker had stuck with her. Hell, she even took some reassurance that the Illusive Man had been able to tell her about the whereabouts of her old friends. Wrex had returned to his homeworld, Kaidan was promoted, Liara was on Illium, and of course Tali had returned to the Flotilla. Above her, starts streaked past in varying hues of blue, gold, red, and silvery white.

Well, not all her team. According to the Illusive Man, Garrus had dropped off the radar a month after her death and not even with Cerberus's vast resources he couldn't locate him. In some ways, this reassured Shepard. If Garrus didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. But at the same time, she worried for him. He could be getting into trouble or hurt and nobody would know.

Nobody had said it yet, but Erin Shepard knew that most of the human crew wondered if the missing Turian had died. For several horrifying moments, Shepard had contemplated life in the galaxy without her best friend and decided it wouldn't be possible. She and Garrus were close enough that she felt confident that had he died, she would know.

Of course that hadn't stopped her scouring the extranet for articles concerning unidentified Turian bodies. None could be confirmed as bearing the Vakarian clan facial markings, which had been enough for Shepard to cease her search for now.

That still didn't mean that just because he hadn't shown up in a morgue he wasn't dead. But then again, Erin had always been an optimist and Garrus Vakarian had always been a survivor. No way he'd roll over and die. He was out there, surviving like he'd always done.

This thought propelled Shepard into a sitting position, her scars hurting much less now that she'd been moving around some. With a quick leap off her bed, Shepard paced her much larger cabin. Her old one had been a messy little nook in the back of the Normandy…this one was at the top of the ship and was quite spacious. There was a couch, fully stocked mini bar to Shepard's delight, spate places for her private terminal and work terminal, fishtanks lining one wall, and of course the king sized bed.

Just like Joker had said, the new Normandy was built with civilian comforts in mind. She only wished that her team could be there to enjoy it with her. Resignedly plunking down at her work terminal, Shepard heaved a sigh. She didn't exactly enjoy being told who should and should not be on her team, but what choice did she have? There wasn't enough time to wander around, collecting excellent team members through sheer luck…she would have to use what was given.

Fanning out the datapads, Shepard took a moment to look at each of them in turn. First up was the Salarian professor, Mordin Solus. Good with technology and medicine. They needed him to counteract the seeker swarms. Next was the Krogan warlord, Okeer. Not much on his profile, which had Shepard a little uneasy. Certainly she'd worked with Krogan before, but even knowing what they specialized in it could be a challenge. The convict, Jack. Profile listed Jack as a powerful biotic who'd gone on something of a crime spree across the universe. Grimacing, Shepard pushed the three datapads aside. The Illusive Man had picked some real winners here…especially this Jack character. Shepard momentarily wondered if Jack would be anything like Kaidan had been aboard the first Normandy. Goodness knew she didn't need any more of that from a man.

As she reclined in her chair, Shepard kicked up her feet and began to scan the last dossier that she'd been given for the time being. The name piqued her interest. Archangel. Her heart clenched as she recalled telling Garrus about archangels over coco on the first Normandy, but she pushed it aside. Not much was known about him…Turian vigilante who'd shown up on Omega and started going after the three main merc organizations. By observing his work, Cerberus had been able to glean that Archangel was a skilled sniper with some experience with tech.

To be honest, the tech experience hadn't shocked Shepard. Most Turians were either highly skilled soldiers or had some tech experience. The sniping was sort of a common trait as well, but she shook her head. Turians had exceptional eyesight, so sniping was almost second nature to some.

Or maybe she just had Garrus on the mind. It seemed as though he'd occupied every thought she'd had in some way since before her death. It couldn't be helped really, he'd been her best friend. In all honesty, having a new Turian on the team would just make her miss him more than ever, but if this Archangel was as gifted as the dossier made him seem, he would be quite the asset.

Above, Shepard eyed the stars that sailed past. It was a big universe…Garrus could be anywhere. To anyone else, this idea might be daunting, but Shepard allowed herself a small smirk. On a subconscious level she knew her best friend, her bond brother, was out there. They would find one another somehow, even though they were so very far apart. In her mind, she liked to think that they were somehow looking at the same stars, even though logic told her that the odds were incredibly low.

"EDI," Shepard's voice was confident, her eyes locked on the dossier for Archangel. "Let Jacob and Miranda know that when we hit Omega we'll retrieve Professor Solus and then go get Archangel."

She didn't wait for a reply before standing and crossing the room to her nightstand. While the room still felt big and impersonal, Shepard was trying to make it a little more like home. On her nightstand was the picture they had taken when she'd become a spectre. Lightly she trailed her fingers along the frame, fondly smiling down at the frozen image.

When she'd said that if her team knew she was alive, they'd come back Shepard had meant it…even if it meant tracking them down one by one. So Garrus couldn't be found right now?

Since when had that ever stopped her before?


	18. Shine

Inspired by Anna Nalick's "Shine"

Thanks to my old Choir teacher for the opening quote...the original is "In the midst of uncertainty you will find life's greatest moments". Also, I went back and revised the first chapter so it was a little better. Enjoy.

* * *

_**Shine**_

In the midst of uncertainty, one can find life's greatest moments. Often you find yourself rising to the occasion and discovering new things about yourself that you never knew you could do.

Garrus Vakarian did not believe this for an instant.

Sighting down the scope, he picked off yet another faceless merc. So far he'd been holed up in the base for three days, doing his best to take out the seemingly endless waves of mercs. All because he was dumb enough to believe that Sidonis could be trusted…because he wasn't quick enough or strong enough.

With a decisive shake of his head, Garrus picked off another merc, his body spinning off the bridge and into the abyss below. Each bullet he fired seemed to be laced with a little more venom than the last, the bitterness Garrus felt transferred to his rifle.

It wasn't fair. He'd done everything right. Just as he'd planned, he'd arrived at the meeting spot early enough to scope out the place, make sure no enemies were lying in wait for him. Satisfied that the area was secure, Garrus had waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After almost an hour, he began to worry…Sidonis was never this late. Had they been compromised? As if on cue, his OminTool had begun to scream an alarm…the base had been breached. Time seemed to slow as Garrus registered what had happened. He'd left his whole team back at the base to get some rest as a reward for a job well done…the only people who were out of the base were himself and…

Sidonis.

There had been no time to feel sick. Garrus had run faster than he could have dreamed possible, long strides eating up the ground between himself and his base. Upon reaching the boulevard, he could see a mixed group of mercs just inside the base…after that things began to blur. Most of his team, dead. Those that hadn't died slowly passed away from their wounds…it was all Garrus could do to keep himself from going to pieces. He'd covered his teammates bodies with blankets, disposing the other bodies outside as fair warning to any others who decided to come for him.

And come they did. From what radio chatter he could pick up on, the three organizations had put aside their petty squabbles to take him down. That had been three days ago.

Now, holed up in the top floor, Garrus paused to line up his next shot. His helmet shielded his face from the glare of the lights below, hiding his face from his opponents. The same rhythm had persisted through his thoughts for those three days.

Target, shoot, change thermal clip, repeat.

Still, he was going to get what he came for, Garrus thought bitterly. Two years and twelve days ago he'd lost the only woman who'd given him a purpose in the world and since then he'd been waiting to follow her. It had only been a matter of time really. He'd purposely gone after the biggest and baddest opponents, trying to get them to take him down. Now they could tell he was getting tired, making simple mistakes…they would eventually make it through the door and he would pass into the oblivion that Shepard had gone to.

Target.

In a way, this was the way he wanted it. It was almost noble…he would die defending what he believed was right, but in anonymity. Here, on Omega, he wasn't Garrus Vakarian, son of a star C-Sec officer and comrade of Commander Shepard…no, here he was just Archangel, a Turian vigilante and all around pain in the ass. There would be no huge funeral for him…no memorial, no headstone to mark his passing. For some reason, this seemed fitting.

Shoot.

Even as he pulled the trigger, the part of his mind that sounded oh so eerily like Shepard berated him for such thoughts. He was acting like a coward, almost willingly giving up so easily. It was past time he got over how fragile he thought he was and grow a set. The people of Omega were still waiting on him to keep them safe, defend them when they could not.

Reload.

Mentally ordering the voice to shut the hell up, Garrus selected his next target. If it was cowardly so be it. He knew exactly who and what he was…no two ways around it. The Turian pulled the trigger, exhaling softly as he did so. It was strange really…Shepard had always thought so highly of him and so little of herself. She obviously hadn't seen herself in the right light…or lack thereof. When things seemed darkest, she would shine the brightest, her brilliance truly coming to light.

Not so with Garrus. When things got rough, he figured it was a good time to duck out. He was no Shepard…his plans weren't as well thought out as the ones she made up on the go, even if he had two weeks to plan. Then again, hadn't someone said that no plan ever survives an encounter with the enemy?

A strangled growl worked its way out of his throat as Garrus ejected a spent thermal clip. Once again it seemed as though the past was coming back to haunt him…just as he prepared to exit life he was able to see all the things he should have done differently.

Why hadn't he stayed with Shepard? Why had he dropped out of the spectre program when she had encouraged him to do it in the first place? Why, why, why?

Even looking back, Garrus knew he would never regret his decision to join Shepard. The woman had a certain aura about her…he couldn't have refused if he had tried. Perhaps it had been in the way she spoke or walked or smiled, but from the moment she'd offered him a spot on her crew his life had been set on a course for anything but normal.

A lull in the onslaught of mercs gave Garrus time to grab something to eat before continuing his vigil at the window. In a way, the idea of his death was strangely comforting. He would at least see Shepard again…

The pair hadn't talked about religion much, but when they did Shepard had expressed a little interest in the human idea of reincarnation. After explaining it, Garrus had agreed that it sounded pretty nice. Even after death, the soul would live on in another body and while it lived in a new body it would constantly be drawn to the souls it knew in a past life. An endless loop of friendship and togetherness…it appealed to Garrus.

They would see each other again, he knew it. Just as he knew that the sun would rise, that children would be born, and that the Reapers would come, Garrus found peace in the fact that he would find Shepard again one day.

As Garrus made peace and reloaded his rifle, the next wave of mercs leapt over the barricade.


	19. Don't Stop Believing

Inspired by Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"

Sorry for the delay. Lots of information and so little time to write it in.

* * *

_**Don't Stop Believing**_

Erin Shepard hit the ground on the other side of the barricade, grinning maliciously. As Jacob and Mordin followed her, she cracked her knuckles, studying the backs of the other mercs. "Come on. Let's give these guys a surprise of their own."

Mordin offered her a small Salarian smile before pulling his pistol and putting a round right into someone's spine. For barely knowing the alien for a few hours, Shepard had taken a bit of a liking to the professor. Something about the way he was so brutally honest appealed to her. Just like Aria had said…he was just as likely to heal you as he was to shoot you.

Still, she paused a moment to look across the bridge. She hadn't known that Archangel would be in this much trouble….had she known, she would have come sooner. But still, giving Mordin the little extra time to work on the solution to the seeker swarms might save all their lives in the end.

Shepard set off at a decent jog, her pistol at the ready. She had to be careful…if they didn't take out the mercs quickly, they would realize what was going on and turn-

Before she could complete the thought, something slammed into her gut. Concussive shot. Shepard would recognize that feeling anywhere. Picking up her speed, the brunette's mahogany ponytail streamed behind her like a banner.

Of course, how could she have forgotten? Archangel didn't know the rescue party was disguised as the very thing he was trying to kill…or that there was a rescue party at all. Using her momentum to vault over a crate, she put a neat shot in the base of the nearest merc skull.

"What the- They're with Archangel!"

"We've been compromised! Jacob, Mordin!" She didn't need to finish. The pair with her already had her covered. As Jacob used his biotics to toss a merc into the walls like a rag doll, Mordin was calmly stepping over a burning corpse.

Quickly the trio scoured the open rooms for anything useful, gathering extra thermal clips, credits, and technology. Pocketing a tube of med gel, Shepard stared at a row of bodies by the wall. These weren't the first they'd seen in the base. There were at least four on the main floor and they'd seen three or four more on the second level.

As the others joined her, Shepard eyed the last unopened door. He had to be in here. With a quick swipe of her OmniTool, she readied her gun and led the way in.

* * *

Garrus Vakarian had to be hallucinating. He'd often heard that when one went long hours without sleep or was near death such things could happen. In this case, he qualified for both.

Still, that one merc…she looked too much like Shepard to be real. Sure her hair was much longer than Shepard's had ever been and there were a few extra scars on her face, but damn it was convincing. Hell, she even wore N7 armor, but there were plenty of battle ready replicas of her armor.

Below, she looked up and the sight took Garrus's breath away. Ocean blue eyes glittered in the scope, the palest hint of a scar beneath the left eye.

Oh yeah, definitely hallucinating now.

As the illusion began to move forward, Garrus took a deep breath. If he was going to be killed, might as well be by her…if she would just hurry up. Lining up his shot, the Turian let fly a concussive shot. His aim was true and it struck her right in the abdomen, causing his illusion to pause for only a moment. Then she was flying.

Of course Garrus had seen Shepard run before her death, but watching this illusion was almost better. She looked strong and swift, covering the ground between the open door and her position in moments.

A shot skimmed past Garrus's head, causing him to refocus on the mercs below. He only wanted to believe it was Shepard…she was dead. And soon he would be too. There was one more young human on the bridge…hiding behind a pillar. While he waited for his chance the door behind him slid open.

Ah yes, there she was…his perfect illusion. It was Shepard…not as he'd last seen her, but damn close. Her eyes were the same, but there were some scars on her cheeks. They glowed orange in the light, but even from where he sat Garrus could see they were fading fast. Her chocolate hair was pulled back, longer than it had ever been in life.

"Archangel?"

Spirits, she even sounded the same. It was heartbreaking to know she was so close and yet…He held up a single talon, his prey inching into sight. A little more and…with a crack, the merc fell. Garrus released a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He was out of immediate danger…and now his wonderful hallucination Shepard would disappear just as she'd appeared.

He straightened and turned. To the Turian's surprise, Shepard still stood there, her expression half anticipation and half expectant. Garrus gathered his rifle up as he moved to a stack of crates farther into the base. If she was still here, that meant this Shepard was no illusion. She was real. Erin Shepard, the woman he'd mourned for two years, was standing right in front of him as if she'd never left the mortal coil.

With a hiss, he discarded his helmet, settling in. He didn't trust himself to look at her as he spoke, so instead Garrus focused on where his rifle was propped against his leg.

"Shepard." Spirits, he sounded so tired…so morose. But he couldn't help it… "I thought you were dead."

To Shepard's credit, she reacted the same way she always had. "Garrus! What're you doing here!"

A chuckle almost escaped Garrus's throat. If only he could muster half of her enthusiasm. Finally managing to raise his ice blue eyes, he waved a talon. "Just keeping my skills sharp. A little target practice."

His tone must have betrayed something…that he was tired or hurt or upset or shocked at her presence, but Shepard didn't miss a beat. Her brow furrowed in the funny way Garrus had learned meant she was worried. "You okay?"

"Been better," The weary Turian admitted, a spark of life flickering behind his ice blue eyes at long last. "But it sure is good to see a friendly face. Killing mercs is hard work…especially on my own."

Shepard moved closer, her gait as fluid as ever. "What're you doing out here on Omega?"

Fury wove through the many tones of Garrus's voice as he spoke. "I got fed up with all the bureaucratic crap on the Citadel. Figured I could do more good on my own. At least it's not hard to find criminals here…all I have to do is point my gun and shoot."

"How'd you manage to piss off every major merc organization in the Terminus systems?"

If Garrus didn't know any better, he'd say Shepard sounded almost…proud of him? For a long moment he studied her before finally deciding that yes, there had been a hint of pride, and amusement, in her voice. He returned in kind. "It wasn't easy. I really had to work at it. I am amazed they teamed up to fight me. They must really hate me."

She laughed and it was like bells ringing. It acted as a tonic, the sound wrapping itself around Garrus, rejuvenating him. "Of course you did…but since when did you start calling yourself Archangel?"

Wincing, Garrus had hoped Shepard wouldn't ask about that one. He could have ditched the name at any time, but he'd kept it….because of her. "It's just a name the locals gave me. For…all my good deeds. I-I don't mind it but please, it's just, ah, Garrus to you."

Thankfully this answer seemed to satisfy Shepard. Instead she rolled her neck a little, as if there were a kink she was trying to work out. "You nailed me good a couple times by the way."

"Concussive rounds only, no harm done. Didn't want the mercs getting suspicious." Garrus turned his head away to glance at the bridge. No need for Shepard to know that he thought she was just an illusion.

Returning his gaze to Shepard, he noted her mouth set in a line, one eyebrow cocked up. She didn't believe him. "Look, Shepard, if I wanted to do more than take your shields down I'd have done it. Besides, you were taking your sweet time. I needed to get you moving."

"Well, here I am. But I doubt getting out will be as easy."

Garrus allowed himself one glance at Shepard. She was here. Really here. If he had died already, he wasn't about to complain. "No, it won't. That bridge has saved my life, funneling all those witless idiots into scope."

The two moved together towards the window, as if they knew exactly what the other was thinking. Pointing, Garrus went on. "But it works both ways…They'll slaughter us if we try to get out that way."

"So we just sit here and wait?" Jacob sounded irritated. He had obviously been expecting a quicker extraction mission, not a long, drawn out stalemate.

Instantly Garrus bristled. He did not like the human male…first of all, he kept staring at Shepard. Secondly, he was questioning Garrus's choice…not that he could blame him really. Quickly inhaling through his nose, Garrus raised and lowered a shoulder. "It's not all that bad. This place has held them off so far. And with the three of you… I suggest we hold this location. Wait for a crack in their defenses, and take our chances. It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan."

They'd drifted towards his sniper's perch now, Shepard in the lead. It felt odd to have the roles reversed, him giving the orders and her following. Then again, she wasn't even supposed to be alive, but you wouldn't hear Garrus complaining about it.

Blue eyes met his own. "How'd you let yourself get into this position?"

Anger and spite churned in Garrus's stomach at the thought of what had happened. Pushing aside the feelings, he clenched his mandibles tighter to his face. "I let my feelings get in the way of my better judgment. It's a long story. I'll make you a deal; you get me out of here alive and I'll tell you the whole damn thing."

His attention had wandered to his rifle, but now their eyes locked again. A small grin played about her face as she recognized the joke.

"I haven't forgotten you know. You still need to tell me what was so funny that I said back then."

It felt good to banter with her again…familiar. Safe. "You get me out of here alive, I'll tell you my story. You tell me what made me 'special' back then, and I'll tell you what was so funny."

The pair was aware that Mordin and Jacob were exchanging confused looks. Shepard obviously hadn't let them in on the inside joke, and for that Garrus was grateful.

"Well, sounds like a plan to me. I wasn't a fan of the sneaking anyway. Time to spill a little merc blood."

Now that was new. The surprise knocked a half cough, half laugh out of Garrus's chest. "Glad to see you haven't changed." His sarcasm would not be lost on the Commander, that he was sure of. "Let's go see what they're up to."

As Garrus looked down the scope, Shepard took a moment to study her best friend. In two years, he had changed…no longer was he the shy, uncertain young Turian, but now he was a confident leader. He didn't seem as flustered by her questions as he used to, but there was a hardness to his voice that hadn't been there before. Being on Omega had changed him…or had it been her own death? She shoved aside the uneasiness as he spoke.

"Hmmm….Looks like they know their infiltration team failed. Take a look." He passed the rifle to Shepard. "Scouts. Eclipse, I think."

While Shepard stared down the scope, Garrus took the opportunity to stare. It was as if she had never left…her voice, her features, even the way she held his rifle…nothing changed. On one hand, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but on the other he was…well, pissed. She had vanished for two years. He'd mourned her death…they all had. Now she just reappeared and acted like no time had passed? Where was that fair?

The cool steel of the rifle nudged his arm. Gingerly accepting the gun from Shepard, he glanced down at her as she spoke. "Looks like a lot more than scouts."

"Indeed. We better get ready." The Turian's tone was cool and logical. "I'll stay up here. I can do a lot of damage from this vantage point. You…you can do what you do best. Just like old times Shepard."

It was true, Garrus was a little more than just pissed at Shepard for dropping off the map and then returning like nothing had happened but still, this was Shepard. His soul sister, bond brother, whatever you wanted to call it. He couldn't help but feel at least a little bit overjoyed that she had returned for him.

Swiftly he took up his spot, slightly relieved that Shepard crouched several feet away. "Let's give these bastards everything we've got!"

"With pleasure!"

Garrus had barely enough time to pick off a few before a shockwave of biotic energy rippled past, sending droids wailing into the abyss. His head snapped around to see Shepard crouching back down, her whole body aglow with biotic energy. Meeting his gaze, the commander shook her head. "I'll explain when we get out of here. Its…a long story at the least."

In all honesty, Garrus tried to stay mad at Shepard. First she returned from the dead, then she apparently had become a biotic while she was at it. But fighting alongside her just like they always had - he took the right and she took the left – made it almost impossible. The way she looked so damn focused while she took down her prey was almost comical. Just as the first wave hit, the Eclipse mercs sent out a heavy mech, along with Jaroth, their leader.

"All right Archangel, let's see how you handle this!"

"Damn it, they're sending out the heavy mechs."

What Garrus had not prepared for was Shepard's nonchalant reply. "That problem should take care of itself."

He opened his mouth to ask but as if on cue, the mech spun around and began firing on the very mercs it was to be protecting. It was some time before Garrus could stop laughing. "You seriously rewired it's friend/foe ID system?"

"Like you wouldn't!" Shepard's laugh was infectious. Even Mordin was smiling as he took down one of the last mechs. Soon after, Jaroth fell with a bullet to the head and the heavy mech went down soon after.

Sliding off his post, Garrus nodded approvingly at Shepard as she approached. "You're kicking ass Shepard. They barely touched me. And we got Jaroth in the process. I've been hunting that little bastard for months."

With a metallic clack, Shepard ejected the spent thermal clip of her pistol. "He said you took out his top lieutenant a while back. What were they up to?"

The Turian offered a shrug. "Shipping tainted E-Zo all over Citadel space. Hell, half the goods I seized back at C-Sec came from the team here on Omega."

If Shepard was proud, she didn't let it show this time. Her ocean blue eyes studied the bridge momentarily. "We still have Blood Pack and Blue Suns left. Think we can make it?"

"Maybe…" Garrus wandered towards the overlook. For now, it was quiet. "Let's take a look. They've reinforced the other side heavily. But they're not coming over the bridge yet. What are they waiting for…?"

Someone must have taught the mercs on Omega the importance of dramatic timing, since a very loud, muffled thump shook the whole structure. Jacob whirled on the spot, his dark eyes flickering to the doorway. "What the hell was that?"

In an instant Garrus had the problem located using his OmniTool. "Damn it. They've breached the lower level. Well, they had to use their brains eventually…"

Raising his gaze from his arm, Garrus stared at Shepard, who was keeping her gaze fixed on the door. "You'd better get down there Shepard. I'll keep the bridge clear."

Even after two years dead, Shepard still executed a perfect military turn on her heel, blue eyes sharp. "I'm not leaving you alone. One of my team will stay here."

Both of them knew this was non-negotiable – Shepard's posture said it simply wasn't – but still, Garrus had to wonder. "Are you sure Shepard? Who knows what you'll find down there?"

Truthfully Garrus half hoped she'd let him be on his own. She needed the protection more than he did in his book. But just as he predicted, she shook her head sharply. "Jacob, stay with Garrus. Keep him alive."

As the dark skinned soldier moved towards Garrus, he mumbled a thank you, his talons itching to make another adjustment to his rifle. Instead, he lifted his gaze to meet hers and found his chest clenching in a familiar way. He almost lost himself in the depths of her clear blue eyes, falling into their perfect wordless communication.

_I can't lose you again Garrus._

_ Shouldn't that be my line?_

_ Correction; I _won't_ lose you again_.

With a solemn nod, she motioned for Mordin to take the lead. At the door she paused, her hand resting lightly on the frame before she looked back at her best friend, who had begun to move back towards his post. "Garrus!"

He turned, a look of confusion flitting across his features. God she had missed that. Flashing him a determined grin, Shepard reached for her pistol. "I promise I'll come back. And I always keep my promises."

And with that, she vanished to the lower level. Scoffing, Garrus shook his head. Of course she would be…she'd cheated death in order to return, why would this be any different? Still, he wished she hadn't left him with the human…he had seen the Cerberus logo on his outfit. Of course he hadn't brought it up, but that would be a discussion for later. Vorcha and Krogan began to pour over the barricade, towards the base.

Soon it became a pattern. Jacob would use pull to send the Vorcha into the air while Garrus could knock them out of the game with a few shots. He had to admit, they were doing quite well until they began to break into the first floor.

"Get back here Shepard. They're coming in through the doors!" The words had barely left Garrus's mouth before he realized…what if Shepard wasn't using the same frequency they had in the old days? What if her radio was different now?

No time to think about it now. Garm, the Blood Pack leader, howled as Garrus put a bullet straight through one of the Vorcha at his side. "Cover me! I'll deal with Archangel."

Two shots rang through the base. All activity seemed to draw to a halt as Shepard and Mordin emerged from the basement, Shepard smirking as she approached. Her blue eyes flickered up wards to Garrus before she wagged a finger at the offending mercs.

"Now now, can't have you doing that."

Garm wasted no time. He charged up the stairs, leaving behind enough Vorcha and Varren to keep Shepard distracted for the moment. Skidding to cover behind a sofa, Garrus could hear Garm thundering towards him. Nothing else to do but to rise from his hiding spot and put as many rounds into the oncoming Krogan as he could then.

Had this been Wrex, the scene might have been comical. An enraged Krogan chasing Garrus around a sofa…it seemed like something that would be in one of those old Earth vids Shepard had once showed him. Rounding the corner for what seemed like the third time, Garrus froze as a high pitched sound pierced his ears.

"Oi! Pick on someone your own size!"

In the instant that Garm was distracted, Garrus located Shepard over by the doors. She glowed with biotic energy and her knees were bent into a half-crouch. Both aliens seemed to realize what she was doing about a half second too late.

"SHEPARD CHARGE!"

The resounding crash was impressive, even for Shepard. Using her biotics, she'd launched herself across the room, smashing into Garm practically headfirst, knocking him to the ground. It was all the opportunity that was needed for Garrus to reload.

To her credit, Shepard didn't flinch. She simply kept her knees firmly in Garm's chest as she called orders. "Jacob, warp! Mordin, load cryo ammo and fire on my mark!"

Rolling off him, it was as if a floodgate of bullets had been released. The Krogan barely made it to his feet before Garrus put a round right between his eyes, firmly in the thick bony plating that all Krogans had. With a sigh of relief, he nodded. "Thanks Shepard. They hardly got through to me. And we took out Garm and his Blood Pack. This day just keeps getting better and better. He was one tough son of a bitch."

Shepard loped towards him, her gait steady despite the fact she'd just launched herself full speed at a Krogan. "You've fought with him before?"

Garrus pulled his mandibles into a Turian grimace. "Yeah, we tangled once. I caught him alone, none of his gang to help him. Still couldn't take him out. I've never seen a Krogan regen that fast, he's a freak of nature. He just kept at it until his Vorcha showed up. It was close but I had to let him go…Not this time."

Both took a moment to look at the dead Krogan that lay some feet away. How odd that they could have such a civil discussion over the corpses of so many…Garrus had to chuckle inwardly. Typical Shepard.

"Only the Blue Suns are left. I say we take our chances and fight our way out." Erin's voice was determined, adrenaline from the fight causing her to bounce a little on the balls of her feet.

The Turian found himself in complete agreement with his old friend. "I think you're right. Tarak's got the toughest group, but nothing we haven't faced before. Besides, he won't be expecting us to meet him head on –"

Movement to their left caught Garrus's eye. Instantly, Garrus knew what it was and what they were in for.

_Oh shit_.

The gunship shattered the glass at the far end of the room with its first rounds while the small foursome dove for cover. Garrus and Shepard dove for opposite ends of the room; he to his sniping post and she to the relative safety behind some crates.

Once he was sure Shepard was in cover, Garrus snarled into the radio. "Damn it, I thought I took that thing out already!"

Across the room, Shepard leaned out of cover as the ship began to unload troops. "They fixed it, but not completely. I made sure of that."

From their respective positions, Garrus and Shepard locked eyes. Her clear blue irises sparkled with mischief and laughter, but beneath that the Turian could see she was focused, determined and…no, could it be?

Was the great Commander Shepard a little worried?

If she was, he had no time to confirm that. Blue Suns had a nasty habit of being equipped with some heavy duty shields and barriers to take out before you could even think about getting through to the armor. However, with Mordin using his considerable tech capabilities they were able to blaze through the infantry with no trouble at all.

Silently rising on the balls of his feet, Garrus began to move towards the far window to check for the gunship. If he could get the first shot in, maybe they'd have a chance of getting out quickly…

"Archangel!"

Takak's voice filtered through the gunship's speakers as it rose up like a monster from the depths of hell. Garrus barely had time to react and bring his rifle around before the merc leader opened fire.

"You think you can screw with the Blue Suns?"

Garrus rolled into cover behind a planter while Shepard did the same on the opposite side of the room. He caught a flash of her mahogany hair as she peeked over at the ship.

"Would you be surprised if I said yes?" Shepard asked, her usual humor shining through even in battle.

Chancing a peek, Garrus knew he had to move to Shepard to better formulate a plan. With so much noise from the ship outside and the bullets flying past, radios would be next to useless. Only one thing to do…

He was no biotic, so there would be no launching himself across the room at breakneck speeds. Garrus rolled, propelling himself forward, towards Shepard.

"This ends now!"

Impact. Pain blinded the Turian, rolling him over and over through the thick black smoke. Ringing in his head seemed to fade in and out before the whole world went dark.

* * *

"GARRUS!"

How she managed to sprint the gap between her hiding spot and his downed for, Shepard could never quite recall. One moment he had been lunging towards her, the next a missile had struck him. Now he lay quite still, the right side of his face resting in a growing pool of blood. It looked like he was…

Swallowing hard, Shepard allowed a cold fury to take hold. No. Not Garrus. She had left him once before. Never again. Barking the order to open fire, the brunette slung the rocket launcher off of her back. Mordin and Jacob barely had time to get their own attacks in edgewise as she emptied four grenades into the cockpit of the gunship as it hovered outside the window. While it may have been a bit overkill, it did the trick. The debris hadn't even hit the ground before Shepard was kneeling at Garrus's side, her fingers light and deft as she rested one on his shoulder and one on his hip.

Unease gripped the usually cool commander. He was so still, and there was so much blood…could they have actually killed him?

As if to prove her wrong, Garrus's ice blue eyes snapped open, his breath tearing raggedly through his mandibles. For a long moment, his eyes rolled wildly, searching until they found Shepard, his breath sounding wet and harsh from all the blood.

Relief swept through Shepard for a moment as she leaned closer."Garrus!"

Gasping for air, Garrus's talons tightened slowly on the barrel of his rifle. Gingerly rolling him onto his back, Shepard leaned over him as Mordin worked furiously with the med gel. "We're getting you out of here Garrus. Just hold on…"

Her fear was evident in the commander's voice as she dropped it to a mere whisper. Erin's brow furrowed and she bit her lip in frusteration. Jacob knelt by Garrus's feet, catching her eye. Lifting her hand off Garrus's hip for only a moment, she pointed to the Cerberus operative. "Radio Joker. Make sure they're ready for us!"

Wordlessly, Jacob nodded and turned away, his deep voice dropping to just a murmur as he spoke with the pilot of the Normandy. Shepard caught the tail bit of the conversation as he turned back to look at their paitent. "…Better hurry. It looks bad."

With a shaking hand, Shepard wiped away a little bit of blue blood from Garrus's eye. She refused to think that he would die. Not here. Not after they'd just found each other again. She hadn't stopped believing he was still alive a few hours before, and Erin Shepard wouldn't stop believing in him now. Slowly, Garrus's eyes began to flutter closed. Eyes widening in alarm, Shepard tightened her grip on his armor and leaned forward, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"Garrus, if you can hear me listen. If you make it through this, I promise to tell you what you want to know about me…about why I chose you. But you have to live. Promise me."

Before the bliss of unconsciousness fully enveloped the wounded Turian, he managed a weak, gurgling noise that sounded vaguely like '_promise_.'


	20. Life After You

Inspired by Daughtry's "Life After You"

* * *

_**Life After You**_

Jacob watched Commander Shepard with his intense dark eyes. Since their return to the Normandy, she had been worried about Garrus. If it hadn't been for Chakwas and Mordin booting her from the med bay, she would have been there instead of in the communications room. But as it stood, she had been pacing a hole in the floor for a good three hours.

As he approached the opposite side of the table, he cleared his throat, catching her attention. In an attempt to steady himself, the soldier rested his hands on the table. Why did he have to be the one to give the Commander potentially bad news? Especially when it concerned one of her closest friends. That is, if the pilot's gossip could be trusted.

"Commander. We've done what we good for Garrus, but he took a bad hit." Finally meeting Shepard's gaze, Jacob went on. "The docs corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality but…"

The door swished open, causing Shepard's head to swivel towards it. Jacob straightened as Garrus appeared in the doorway, standing tall despite the ordeal he'd been through. The Turian didn't even bother looking at Jacob. He had only eyes for the Commander.

"Shepard."

Just friends. Jacob made a note to go shake down Joker to see if that was true because from the way they were looking at each other, there was definitely something more there. "Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet…"

Despite being awake and functional, Garrus looked like hell. His royal blue armor – Shepard's favorite color according to Joker – had a large hole blasted in the collar. The surrounding paint had been stained black from the explosion. Of course the worst damage was his face. A large bandage covered most of his right cheek and neck, almost holding the right mandible on. Where it wasn't covered with the bandage, tan – pink scarring could be seen in sharp contrast to his usual tan-gray skin.

For the first time since their return from Omega, Shepard seemed to relax. Her shoulders dropped a little and the smile that graced her features seemed more genuine as Garrus approached. Jacob intently watched as the pair interacted.

"Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?"

To her credit, Shepard kept her cool, but Jacob had heard her ranting in frustration. She blamed herself for his wound. The brunette shrugged. "Hell Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice."

While some others would consider the joke to be in poor taste, Garrus just laughed, his mandibles flaring wide as a light sparkled in his ice blue eyes. He stopped quickly. "Oh, don't make me laugh, damn it…my face is barely holding together as is."

Sauntering closer, Garrus seemed to be almost playful. "Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are Krogan…"

As Shepard shook her head with amusement, Jacob decided it was best to take his leave. Snapping off a salute, he brushed past Garrus and back towards the armory. Tactfully, Garrus waited until Jacob had left before becoming more serious. "Frankly I'm more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?"

Lightly, Erin kept a hand on the table in the com room, her ocean blue eyes darkening. "That's why I'm glad you're here Garrus. If I'm walking into hell I want someone I trust at my side."

Doing his best with his marred mandible, Garrus pulled a bemused smile. "You do realize that this plan has me walking into hell too. Just like old times."

Garrus made a move to go, but he froze. Shepard was still smiling at him, but it seemed pained, like she was holding back something…it took him a moment to see the tears glistening at the corners of her blue eyes. Two years had not gotten rid of the memories of when Shepard had cried…or the silent promise Garrus had made to himself to try and prevent it from happening again. Drawing close, he offered a tentative smile, using the back of his talons to gingerly brush the water droplets away. "Hey, it's all right, see?"

Erin gazed up at Garrus. He had grown in their time apart…he was another inch taller and it seemed that he was more muscled now. He seemed to be studying her as well, his head tilted to the side a little.

"Where were you Shepard?"

The commander dropped her gaze to the floor. "Garrus, you know where I was. I was dead."

In true Turian fashion, Garrus expressed his disbelief with a flutter of his mandibles. Or at least, as much fluttering as he could manage with the bandage. "I don't understand. If you were dead, then how are you…?"

Inhaling deeply, Shepard met Garrus's inquisitive gaze. "Cerberus rebuilt me. Took them two years…but here I am."

It was everything Garrus could do not to snarl outright. Two years and who knew how much of that they spent making her their little slave. Of course, he couldn't exactly complain since he was so thrilled to have her back from the void. "So the biotics…?"

Nodding, Shepard tossed her mahogany hair – he couldn't get over how long it was – over her shoulder. "Miranda wanted to install a control chip, but the Illusive Man nixed it so I got biotics instead. You'll meet Miranda later. She's technically the XO, but I like to refer to her as the 'bitch lady' in the lower decks."

She was trying to lighten the mood and they both knew it. Still, Garrus had to chuckle. Of course she hadn't changed a bit…thank the Spirits for that. A light touch on his arm startled the Turian until he realized that Shepard had rested her hand on his upper arm. "Are you all right?"

The question seemed innocent enough, but it was asking much more than it seemed. Trust Shepard to know that something was wrong aside from physical weariness. Allowing his shoulders to slump, Garrus shook his head slowly. "It's been a long two years Commander. I…I'm not sure where to begin."

Erin Shepard was silent, waiting patiently for him to talk to her when he was ready. She was not disappointed when after a moment, Garrus hesitantly continued. "I…We mourned you. There was a funeral…Some of us moved on."

Throughout the conversation, Erin's hand hadn't moved from Garrus's arm. It was reassuring to have the subtle pressure there…a confirmation that yes, she was alive. Her heart was beating and blood was flowing in her veins, same as two years ago.

"And you?"

Closing his eyes slowly, Garrus shook his head again. "Shepard, I spent two years on Omega and I don't think that you were out of my head for a single day. To have you here…alive…that's all I was after in the first place. I don't know what I did to deserve getting you back."

For a long moment, the pair was still, close enough for Shepard to smell Garrus's iron-sawdust-motor oil scent and for Garrus to catch the slightest whiff of vanilla. As if realizing that it probably looked a little awkward to anyone else, Garrus rolled his shoulders, stepping back into the role of subordinate.

"Ah, well, I'll settle in and see what I can do at the main battery then. Just let me know if you need me for anything Commander."

And with that, the Turian disappeared around the doorframe.


	21. Broken

Inspired by Seether and Amy Lee's "Broken"

Also, I am such a horrible tease. *cue troll face here*

* * *

_**Broken**_

Several days had passed since Garrus's return to Shepard's team. To her immense joy, she had enough people to stop taking Miranda and Jacob out on missions with her. The first time out to retrieve Warlord Okeer, it had been Garrus and Mordin at her side. The next time to retrieve Jack, it had been Garrus and Grunt.

Slowly the crew members were realizing that where Shepard went, Garrus was to follow, no exceptions. Even so, there was an odd tension between the two.

Once more hiding out in the bowels of the ship, Garrus ran through calibrations again and again. In truth, the weirdness was partly his fault…he was still mad at Shepard for just returning to his life and acting like nothing had happened between them. It wasn't fair to him…he'd mourned her and to some degree, still did. That and the anger he felt at Sidonis still burned in his chest like a fire.

The bundle of emotions that swirled around Garrus Vakarian was a volatile bunch. Anger at Shepard, anger at Sidonis, joy for Shepard's return, and that confusing one he'd never been able to name…the one that made his chest clench in strange ways. It frustrated him to no end.

Of course, Shepard hadn't been overly talkative since one of their first conversations. She'd come to inquire as to his activities on Omega and about what had happened with his team. Garrus told her all, as promised, and admitted that he planned to kill Sidonis if he found the scumbag. After that, Shepard had gotten very quiet and left.

Hissing softly, the doors to the main battery slid open, causing Garrus to turn away from his calibrations. There was only one person who had come to visit him down here…

"Shepard. Need me for something?"

Erin Shepard stood in the doorway, her face blank. Lacing her hands behind her back, she shifted from foot to foot. "Just checking in…seeing how you were doing. Wondering if you had any ideas on how to upgrade the Normandy for our fight against the Collectors."

Now that was something of a surprise. Garrus turned to rifle through a few schematics he'd had since before her death…he'd been given access to exclusive research on the type of guns used by Sovereign and had figured out a way to convert them for a ship such as the Normandy. "Yeah, I had a few ideas. Take a look."

As he handed over the schematics, Garrus watched Shepard's face as she looked them over. She certainly didn't understand all the fine technical bits, but the way she read every little line and set her mouth into the tiniest of human pouts was a little more than endearing. It was times like these, where they were alone that the awkwardness was at its worst. Both knew something was wrong, but nobody wanted to admit it.

Shepard's approving nod caught Garrus's eye. "I like it. As soon as we have enough materials I'll start construction."

"Excellent." The Turian turned back to his console, expecting the swoosh of the doors shortly after. When it did not come, he hesitantly glanced over his shoulder to find Shepard still rooted to the spot. "Commander, do you need something else?"

"Why do you have to kill Sidonis?" Shepard had blurted the question before she could stop herself, but now it hung between the two.

Slowly, Garrus turned to face Shepard. She looked apprehensive, her hands balled into tight fists at her side, but the blaze in her eyes told him that she was not backing down from this one. Well, if that was the way she was going to be, Garrus refused to back down either.

"Why are you asking?"

For a moment Shepard bit her lower lip, then set her jaw. "Because this isn't like you. This isn't the Garrus I knew aboard the SR1."

Venom dripped in Garrus's tone as he lashed back. "Yeah, well, two years on Omega can change someone. Especially when they've been thinking that their best friend was dead."

Erin hissed sharply and Garrus knew he'd crossed a line. Since her return she was reluctant to speak about her time being dead, despite the fact she couldn't remember any of it. "Vakarian, that has nothing to do with this and-"

"Why are you even here? Why are you alive?" His voice had jumped up several decibels and Erin flinched as if he had tried to physically strike her. "You were dead Shepard. Dead! I mourned you! I went to your funeral! I spent two years trying to cope with a world, a universe, without you in it!"

Somehow, everything Garrus was feeling seemed to tumble out in a rush, his rage that had been balled up for so long finally finding an outlet. In the mess hall he could see some crew members staring at the argument, but he could have cared less.

Balling his talons into fists, Garrus ranted on. "And now you just show up and act like nothing has happened. Who gave you that right? Do you have any idea what it's been like for us? For me?"

"For _you_?" Spirits, Garrus had almost forgotten that Shepard was an N7 graduate and could out-shout many a seasoned drill sergeant. "I was dead! I don't remember two years of my life and suddenly I'm here, alive again! I have nobody but you, you ass! Everyone I knew is gone or missing but you! How the hell do you think that makes me feel?"

Unconsciously the pair had moved closer together. Bright blue biotic energy surged along Erin's body, casting an eerie blue glow over the pair.

Deep in his throat, Garrus snarled. "You just don't get it. Maybe you should've left me on Omega for the mercs."

In the blue light from her body, Garrus could see something glittering on the edges of Shepard's eyes."Maybe I should have!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

Shepard stormed out and was in the elevator before anyone in the stunned mess hall could react. To his own surprise, the outburst had left Garrus breathing hard, the right side of his face aching. After a long moment, he stared back at the wide human faces, his rage lashing out again. "What?"

It must have been something in the Turian's voice but it sent the crew scattering. Even the Mess Sergeant scurried off to the med bay, muttering something about brandy. Garrus watched them go with a sick sort of satisfaction until the sound of slow, deliberate clapping reached his ears. He spun to see who had remained and froze.

Jack sat at the mess table, a mug of what Garrus suspected to be the human drink coffee in front of her. His time on Omega had taught Garrus not to fear many humans, but Jack took the cake. She was small, her frame lithe and wirey. Unlike most human females her head was completely shaven and she was tattooed from head to toe. Jack – which Garrus could have _sworn_ was a male name – wore considerably less up top than even the Asari dancers in Afterlife.

Now the tiny firecracker of a biotic stopped clapping and leveled her dark eyes at Garrus. "Shit, I didn't know you two would ever go at it like that."

Garrus remained rooted at the top of the stairs, momentarily wondering if he was out of range of her biotic throw. "Yeah, well, Shepard had to know what was up."

The bald biotic sipped at her coffee, kicking her feet up on the table as she did so. "Maybe she did deserve it, maybe she didn't. Hell if I know. Thought you two were supposed to be best buddies or whatever."

Despite his better judgement screaming that this was indeed a _very bad_ idea, Garrus slowly made his way towards Jack. "What do you mean by that?"

It was a good thing that most of the cups on the ship were made of a tough to break alloy, otherwise Jack might have broken her mug with the force she slammed it down. "Shep's been dead for two years. Everyone she knew has moved on or vanished except for you. She went and saved your sorry ass from three separate merc groups. I don't know anyone that batshit crazy, and that says a lot."

By now Garrus was standing at the edge of the table across from Jack. He hesitated before deciding that she would not kill him just yet and sat. Across from him, Jack's dark hazel eyes flickered with energy. "What are you getting at?"

Jack leaned back, seemingly at ease. "You're kind of dense, you know that? I'm saying that Shepard is just enough of a crazy bitch to care about what happens to you. From what I've heard, you two were close back in the day too."

Quick as a flash, Jack had leaned over the table, her expression solemn. "You're supposed to be her best buddy, right? Shouldn't you be able to realize when she's using a coping mechanism or whatever shit that bitch up on the CIC calls it?"

Realization caused Garrus to sit back in his chair. He hadn't thought about it that way…was Shepard just pretending nothing was wrong because she didn't want to deal with what had happened? It seemed so unusual…Erin Shepard always tried to meet her problems head on. But what the crazy biotic said…it made sense. It explained why she refused to talk about her death and her actions.

Rising, Jack moved towards the elevator. "It helps when you pull your head out of your ass and look around. Just saying."

As she left, Garrus sat very still in the silent mess hall, simply staring at the spot where she had been. Sometimes the best advice seemed to come from the craziest places.


	22. My Life Would Suck Without You

Inspired by Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You"

* * *

_**My Life Would Suck Without You**_

Two years can change a lot about a person. It can give them time to return from the dead, for example.

Had you asked Garrus Vakarian to apologize to Commander Shepard two years ago, he would have preformed spectacularly, stumbling over his words and finally spitting out what he had to say to the Commander's amusement. Now, he stood in the elevator, fiddling with his talons, quite unsure as to how to approach the situation. In two years he'd gotten pretty used to not having to apologize to anyone for his actions…realizing he had been out of line was something relatively new.

He shifted from foot to foot in the elevator, watching the numbers slide past on the way up to Shepard's private quarters, more affectionately known as 'The Loft.' Jack's words had made him think long and hard about what had been said…truthfully he hadn't thought about it from Shepard's point of view.

With a ping, the doors slid open to the foyer of Shepard's room. Crossing it in a few swift strides, Garrus froze as soon as he was in front of the door. His hand was raised to knock, but it didn't move. Mentally Garrus chided himself on his behavior.

Come on, this is Shepard we're talking about. She'll understand. Either that, or she'll use that biotic charge to turn you into Turian paste.

At the idea of becoming a stain on Shepard's walls, Garrus found himself even more unable to move than before. Mercifully he didn't have to. The door opened with a soft swish to reveal a somewhat startled Shepard.

Both human and Turian gaped at the other for a long moment. Garrus hadn't bothered to get out of his armor before coming up but Shepard had changed from her casual attire. Somehow she'd managed to recover her black sweatpants with SR1 stenciled on the bottom of the left leg and a charcoal shirt with the N7 logo on the chest. Her chocolate locks had been let down so Garrus could fully appreciate how long her hair had gotten in the two years apart.

For a moment they simply blinked at each other before Garrus realized his hand was still held up in the air where he would have knocked. Quickly lowering it, he swallowed. Both seemed to realize this was uncomfortable and tried to speak over the other.

"Garrus, I just-"

"Shepard I wanted to-"

Clamping her mouth shut, Shepard motioned to Garrus. He shook his head. "No, you first Commander."

She shook her head, a small smile spreading across her face. "I was just going down to see you…but I guess you're here, standing at my door so I don't need to."

Allowing himself a soft chuckle, Garrus sighed. "Look, Shepard, I just wanted to take back what I said earlier. I spoke out of anger and frustration and I didn't think about how you felt."

Shepard leaned against the doorframe, curling her fingers around the edges of her sleeves. "I should be the one apologizing. I was…wrong for bringing up something that you don't want to talk about."

Silence settled between the two, less tense than it had been in days. As if realizing where they were, Shepard stepped aside. "Where are my manners, come on in…this isn't something we should be talking about practically in the elevator shaft."

The pair made their way in, settling on the couch to talk. Erin curled her feet under her while Garrus settled in a little ways away. He shook his head. "I was…stupid. For saying those things, for leaving you two years ago…I just missed you. On the rare occasion that I talked to my father about it he would tell me that I shouldn't, but I just…well, I never let you go."

Shepard's soft chuckle caught Garrus's attention as he raised his gaze to meet hers. She toyed with her long locks for a moment before speaking. "Garrus, I don't think there was a day I didn't miss having you around. It was affecting my performance, to be perfectly honest. Even before we picked you up the other day…Cerberus could tell I wasn't operating at one hundred percent, but I was the only one who knew it was because I didn't have you watching my back. I figured out pretty fast that I'm nothing without you around. And yeah, I have issues from being dead for two years, but let's be honest, you're pretty messed up too."

Garrus couldn't help but laugh. He could try to deny it, but Shepard was right; he had just as many issues as Shepard did. He and his father were constantly at odds, he'd spent two years fighting crime on Omega, quit a good job at C-Sec, and now was working with Shepard after her death. Soon he realized that Shepard was laughing too, which made it easier to laugh at himself. Scooting closer, he paused for a moment.

"I made you cry earlier…I promise, it won't happen again."

Erin's ocean colored eyes sparkled as she tilted her head towards Garrus. "Vakarian, you can make me cry as much as you want, as long as it means you aren't going to disappear on me again. I feel like the worst CO ever for taking two years to keep my promise to come back."

"Shepard, you're the best CO I've had the honor to work with."

She quirked an eyebrow up. "You mean that?"

The Turian's breath hitched in his throat for a moment. They were close now…closer than they'd ever been before. He could practically hear her heart beating in her chest and the scent of vanilla seemed almost overpowering. Slowly, he nodded. "Definitely."

Shepard's smile lit up her face and seemed to dazzle Garrus momentarily. She was absolutely beaming. "So…we're good? No more weirdness?"

Leaning back, Garrus nodded, his mandibles twitching gently. "Definitely. I don't think I could do that again."

Erin shook her head and with no thought as to why – or why not for that matter – Garrus reached out and caught a few of her long strands between his talons. Shepard froze and the Turian released her hair as if it was burning him. "Sorry…your hair got long."

The statement must have had some affect on the commander, since she flushed bright pink and began to toy with the long locks. "You like it?"

"Yeah." He replied enthusiastically. Truth be told, it sort of reminded him of a Turians fringe, only longer and silkier.

"Oh." Erin dropped her gaze, twirling a section around her finger. "I was thinking about cutting it."

Nonchalantly, Garrus shrugged. "I liked it better short anyways."

Shaking her head, Shepard chuckled and motioned to her desk. "Could you get my combat knife off my desk?"

"Why?"

Fixing the Turian with a bemused smirk, Shepard began to pull her hair back into a low ponytail. "I'm not going to attack you, if that's what you're wondering."

Gingerly, Garrus retrieved the blade from her desk. "You can never be too sure. I don't know if you recall, but I kind of pissed you off today."

As Shepard took the knife from Garrus, flipping it around expertly, the Turian found himself relieved. To see Shepard laughing and enjoying herself like this…well, it was more than he could have hoped for. If someone had told him two months ago he'd be here, watching her smile and laugh like this, he would have asked them if they'd been getting into the red sand.

Now he settled across from her, watching the woman he'd believed to be dead test the edge of her knife. Before he had a chance to ask exactly what she thought she was doing, Erin sliced through her ponytail in one swift movement, a good three or four inches of hair coming away with it.

Examining the hair she'd cut off, Shepard smiled. "There. Much better. Honestly, you'd think after all the care Cerberus put into rebuilding me they'd at least cut my damn hair…Garrus, what's with that look? It's not like I'm attacking you."

He hadn't realized that he looked so tense. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Garrus shook his head. "No, no, sorry. I just didn't expect you to do that…"

With a flick of her wrist, Shepard had tossed the extra hair into a waste basket under the coffee table. "That's my bad. I just wanted this gone…Here, would you mind helping me even this out?"

"Sure, I suppose…" Garrus took the knife from Shepard with some degree of hesitation, but after a moment, he began to work. Shepard would occasionally give him some instructions, but for the most part they sat in a comfortable silence. It felt good to be back to the way things used to be…

Well, not quite. Although Turian's hearts did beat a little bit faster than humans, Garrus could feel his thundering in his chest. Because of what he was doing, Shepard had to be practically sitting in his lap. The physical distance between them had never really been an issue before, but then again Shepard had never gotten this close to him.

At long last Garrus brushed the last of her mahogany hair off the knife and her shoulders, his pride reflecting in his tone. "There. Just like the old days, right Commander?"

Erin reached up to run her fingers through her hair, an inch above her shoulders, just as it had been before her death. As she did so, her soft, slender fingers brushed against Garrus's talons, causing him to withdraw them hastily. If she noticed, she didn't say anything.

Swiveling, Shepard looked up at Garrus, her smile seeming to light up the whole room. "No. This is better than the old days."


	23. White Horse

Inspired by Taylor Swift's "White Horse"

And yes, I know I'm using the format if Kaidan and Shepard had a relationship for this conversation. It worked well for my needs.

**EDIT**: Just to clear this up, Kaidan and Shepard_ DID NOT_ have a relationship. Shepard reacts the way she does because while she doesn't care for Alenko in that way, she does care for him as a friend and to lose him as one is hard. Plus he basically accused her of treason, so that's kind of a dick move right there. Sorry for the confusion.

* * *

_**White Horse**_

"No! They got half the colony in there! Do something!"

Garrus watched as Shepard winced at the colonist's frusterated cries. Still, she kept on the mask of command. "I didn't want it to end this way. I did what I could."

Beside him, Grunt rumbled his approval. "It was a good fight Shepard."

At hearing the name, the colonist turned, his brow furrowed. "Shepard? Wait…I know that name. Sure…I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero."

"Commander Shepard."

If there was one voice that Garrus was actually happy to hear on this forsaken colony, it was his. Kaidan Alenko appeared from around some crates. He looked just as he had on the first Normandy… Garrus could tell just by the almost imperceptible drop in Shepard's shoulders that she was relieved. When the Illusive man had sent them to Horizon with the lure of the Collectors and Kaidan, she had been on edge. If one of her old teammates was in danger she wanted to at least try to help.

Now Kaidan paused beside the older man. "Captain of the Normandy and the first human spectre. Savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend Delan….and a ghost."

With a scoff and a wave of his hand, Delan turned away. "Huh. All the good people we lost and you get left behind. Screw this, I'm done with you Alliance types."

For a long moment Kaidan's deep brown eyes didn't leave Shepard. Then he took a step forward and caught the commander in a tight embrace. Shepard froze for a moment before gingerly embracing him back.

The Turian knew the way Shepard felt about Kaidan. He also knew that Kaidan felt more strongly for the commander than she did him. For some reason, the embrace – which he had learned was a common way humans greeted each other – set his blood to boiling. Once more his chest seemed to tighten and an irrational anger shot through his body. He calmed himself in time to hear Kaidan speak.

"I thought you were dead Shepard…we all did."

Extracting herself from the embrace, Garrus could tell Shepard was returning to what the yeoman had called her 'coping mechanism.' She offered a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "It's been too long Kaidan. How've you been?"

If the former teammate was confused, he hid it quite well. "Is that all you have to say? You show up after two years and act like nothing's happened? I…"

The biotic fidgeted, diverting his deep brown eyes only for a moment. "I…I loved you. Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that? Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

Both Garrus and Shepard winced in unison. Shepard, from guilt, Garrus from rage. Of course Kaidan was playing the guilt card with Shepard…it was common knowledge that the commander had something of a weakness for guilt. But confessing the way he felt…that was low.

Regaining her composure, Shepard set her jaw. "Kaidan, I was clinically dead. It took two years to bring me back. Most of my crew moved on…I thought you would too."

For an instant, Kaidan looked a little surprised that Shepard had known how he felt about her. Didn't surprise anyone else…he hadn't been exactly subtle. When he spoke again, his voice was dripping in venom. "I did move on. At least…I thought I did. But now we've got reports about you and Cerberus…"

"Reports?" Disbelief couldn't be kept out of Garrus's voice. "You mean you already knew?"

The biotic finally looked at Garrus as if seeing him for the first time. "Alliance intel thought that Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. We got a tip that this colony might be the next one to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me but there were rumors that you weren't dead…that you were working for the enemy."

Shepard's eyebrows shot up. "Building the defense towers was just a cover…The Alliance sent you here to investigate me, didn't they?"

Kadian took an aggressive step forward, closing the gap between himself and the commander. "I was here for Cerberus! You were just a rumor. I wanted to believe you were alive but I never expected anything like this…"

At this, the former squadmate shot Garrus a scalding glare, but the Turian didn't back down. He'd seen much worse in his time as Omega's Archangel. Upon seeing that Garrus wouldn't back down like he would have in the past, Kaidan returned to his attack on Shepard.

"You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me."

To her credit, Shepard didn't yell, or raise her voice. She maintained a relatively good poker face, but her tone dropped into the one she used as Commander Shepard, not just Erin Shepard. "Kaidan you know me. You know I'd only do this for the right reason. You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting human colonies and they're working with the Reapers."

A moment of tense silence passed between the two. Garrus found himself holding his breath, wondering if the council had gotten to Kaidan as well…trying to hush up the truth about the Reapers.

Finally Kaidan shook his head. "I want to believe you Shepard, but I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of the Reapers to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if they're working with the Collectors?"

The Turian could stand it no longer. "Dammit Kaidan, you're so focused on Cerberus that you're ignoring the real threat!"

Over her shoulder, Shepard shot Garrus a glance that obviously meant she was grateful for his imput. Turning back to her former teammate, Shepard took a calming breath. "You're letting the way you feel get in the way of the facts."

"Maybe…or maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you're the one who's not thinking straight." The biotic's voice had dropped low, but the accusatory tone was still there as he went on. "You've changed, but I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier, always will be. I've got to report back to the Citadel…they can decide if they believe your story or not."

As he turned away, Shepard spoke, a small note of desperation in her voice. "I could use someone like you on my crew Kaidan. It'll be just like old times."

It was a hopeless ploy and everyone knew it. Kaidan paused, then turned to Shepard. "No it won't. I'll never work for Cerberus. Goodbye Shepard…and be careful."

While Shepard watched Kaidan walk away, Garrus watched her carefully. While she had never loved Kaidan the way he did her, watching him walk away was hard enough without him accusing her of treason. She seemed so fragile, yet strong at the same time. Rolling her shoulders back, Shepard looked up to the sky. "Joker, send the shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

Grunt, who had been silent the whole time, gave a nod of approval as Shepard turned to face her crew. Taking a step forward, Garrus reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off, averting her eyes. "I'm fine Garrus. Let's…just get back to the Normandy."

With Shepard in the lead, Garrus trailed behind, watching her back like he always did. Only one thought echoed in the Turian's mind.

_Liar_.

* * *

Night had fallen aboard the Normandy. Garrus continued to calibrate the main gun over and over. EDI was quite particular about the way it was set to fire and if it was more than a few degrees off, she would reset it and make the Turian begin again. In between she would compile the data from all his calibrations and provide him with an idea of what he had to correct.

He'd already tried to calibrate the main gun seven times already and each time he was woefully off. Groaning, he reached around to rub at a kink in his neck. Truth be told he wasn't able to focus because of Shepard. Since their return to the Normandy she hadn't left her quarters. He'd even heard a rumor that Yeoman Chambers had tried to go talk to the commander and nearly had her head taken off by a shockwave.

As the Turian attempted to return to his calibrations, raised voices outside caught his attention. He cast a glance at the console to make sure EDI was busy with data compilation before tentatively slipping out to the mess hall. When he drew closer towards the elevator he could hear the raised voices better.

"Screw you cheerleader, I'm not going!"

That would be Jack, her usual temper flaring.

"Damn it, just go up there and talk to her!"

Garrus would recognize that accent anywhere. After all, he'd never heard an accent like Miranda's anywhere aside from here. Curiosity bested his better judgment and Garrus peeked around the corner.

Poor Jack had obviously just come up for a bite to eat when she'd gotten cornered by Miranda. Both women seemed to vibrate with biotic energy as they faced each other down. Heart thudding in his chest, Garrus stepped between the two, holding out a hand to each woman.

"Calm down! What is going on here?"

Miranda crossed her arms over her chest, cold blue eyes not leaving Jack for an instant. "I asked if Subject Zero would be willing to go up and speak with the Commander since Shepard is more likely to listen to her than me."

Still glowing bright blue, Jack pointed angrily over Garrus's outstretched arm. "I don't take orders from this bitch. I listen to Shepard because she doesn't bullshit me."

Garrus sent a little prayer to the Spirits to keep him from becoming a stain on the wall. Slowly he turned to face Miranda. "If Jack doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. I'll go."

Eventually Jack stopped glowing and seemed less likely to murder someone. Her dark brown eyes met Garrus's ice blue ones before she nodded. "Yeah, fine, whatever. Just wanted a damn cup of coffee."

As Jack stormed off, yelling at the Mess Seargent to 'make me a damn sandwich', Miranda nodded her thanks at the Turian before retreating to her office. Momentarily wondering what he'd just offered to do, Garrus stepped into the elevator and punched the button for the loft. Spirits, how would he even begin that conversation?

_So you were accused of treason by one of your friends, want to talk about it?_

_ Hey, your old crewmate confessed his love to you then told you that you'd betrayed him. How do you feel about it?_

Yeah. Like that was going to work.

He was still trying to figure out a good way to start that conversation when the elevator pinged, announcing his arrival outside the loft. Cautiously he approached the door, keeping the rumor about Yeoman Chambers in mind before he gently rapped on the door.

_"WHAT?"_

The door opened, putting Shepard and Garrus face to face. Erin Shepard looked positively ferocious, but beneath her fury was a fragility that was almost painful. Her short hair was mussed, as if she had run her hands through it many times. Realizing he was gaping openly, Garrus snapped his jaw shut with a soft click.

Silence stretched on, seemingly deafening in the small foyer. At long last, the Turian spoke.

"Alenko is an ass."

Of course he hadn't meant for it to sound so harsh, but it was true. Kaidan Alenko had been completely out of line in his accusation of her. Plus he had thrown two very different things at Shepard…first his affections and then his scalding fury at her 'betrayal' that wasn't her choice. Tension hummed between the two before Shepard began to laugh.

Her laughter alarmed Garrus at first, but not as much as when she took a step towards him, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her strong arms around his torso. The action froze Garrus solid, his ice blue eyes blinking so rapidly it looked like a strobe light. He'd always known that Shepard was physically smaller than he was, but he'd never really realized it until now.

"C-Commander?"

Shepard's head shook, her voice muffled by Garrus's chest. "I'm sorry, I know you're right, he is an ass…it's just…he said some things…I don't think that bridge can be fixed."

Slowly, Garrus relaxed and put his arms around the human before him. Fury sparked through him when he realized that she was probably crying, but there was a small sense of relief that this time he was not the cause of her tears. Gently twining his talons through her hair, Garrus raised his gaze to the ceiling. "Sometimes they're not meant to be fixed Commander."

How long they stayed like that neither knew. Slowly the shaking stopped and Shepard was able to lift her face out of her friend's chest, wiping at her eyes as she did so. As he tilted his head to meet her eyes, Garrus's mandibles twitched in concern, his nose wrinkling a little. "Are you sure you're going to be okay Shepard?"

With a deep breath, Shepard nodded and met his eyes. "Yes. Kaidan and I were close, but two years is a long time…it's too late for us to go back to the way we used to be."

For a moment the pair simply gazed into each other's eyes. Then Erin reached out and attempted to ruffle the Turian's stiff fringe. "Thank you Garrus. You honestly didn't need to do this for me."

Pulling back with an amused laugh, Garrus playfully batted her hand away. "Of course I did Commander. You would have done the same for any of us."

She shrugged noncommittally, but both knew that the Turian was right. Garrus could recognize when he could go, so he turned to go but a call caused him to turn around.

"Garrus," The brunette human was smiling broadly up at him, "In the future, you can drop the Commander bit…Just Erin will do."


	24. Our Song

Inspired by Taylor Swift's "Our Song"

So much fluff..._ These past two chapters are actually salvaged from a first (unpublished) attempt at a FemShep/Garrus fic, just modified a little. And if you're confused as to why Shepard is buying clothes for her team, it's because they're loyal. Yeah. There should be some plot here eventually.

* * *

_**Our Song**_

"Do you ever regret it?"

Garrus turned to glance at Commander Shepard as she slid into the seat across from him in the mess hall. She'd just come up from visiting Tali on the Engineering deck and taking a side trip to visit the Drell assassin in Life Support. Pushing the unappetizing looking dextro-amino mush on his plate, he twitched his mandibles. "What?"

The brunette leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. "Coming with me. Do you regret it?"

Pushing his plate aside, deciding he wasn't all that hungry, Garrus shook his head. "Why is it important? Seems like everyone wants to know…"

Truth be told, he was wondering why this question had come up again for the second time in as many days. Miranda had paid him a visit the day prior to ask him why he'd chosen to leave his good job at C-Sec to chase after a Spectre with Shepard. To his own surprise, Garrus had been unable to answer and Miranda had left seemingly unsatisfied. Upon seeing Shepard's look, he explained what had happened.

With much more force than nessecary, Shepard slammed down her glass of water, blue eyes sparking. "Garrus, I swear to God, if she bothered you I will go over there and-"

Laughing, the Turian held up his hands. Although she was smaller than any Turian, the commander was tall for a human and strong to boot. Still, it was kind of funny to see her so determined to protect him from something that had happened a day ago, before they docked at Omega for some shore leave."Relax Commander, she just wanted to ask a question…besides, I can take care of myself."

She sighed, pointing to the bandages on Garrus's face with a slight frown. "THAT begs to differ...But really Garrus, what did I tell you? When it's just you and me, you can drop the commander bit."

Garrus sighed heavily. He knew there was a certain part of the Commander – Shepard, he mentally corrected – that felt guilty about letting him get hit. Nodding, he settled in. "Fine. It doesn't hurt any more Com – Shepard."

She nodded slowly, toying with her short mahogany locks. "I hope so…But honestly Garrus, do you regret it? Coming with me?"

The Turian opened his mouth to make a joke, but it died on his tongue as he met her blue eyes. There was something in that look that made him realize she needed to know the answer to this question, no matter how silly it seemed to him. "Erin, I could never regret this. Going with you back then, or now, it doesn't matter to me. You're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed up galaxy and I'll be damned if I don't follow you to the end."

He glanced away for a moment, absently tracing one of the blue lines on his mandible with a talon, looking a little lost in thought. "I love doing what we do…the combat, some espionage, watching out for you, being able to talk and laugh with you…it's the best."

Meeting Erin's eyes, Garrus was relieved to see her smiling broadly. "I'm glad to hear that…I'm glad you came with me too."

She laughed, shaking her head and gathering her food. "With everything that's been going on with Cerberus and the Collectors, I'm glad to have my token Turian back by my side."

"Token Turian?"

Shrugging, the Commander glanced over her shoulder playfully. "You don't see me letting any other Turians on board do you?"

Reluctantly, Garrus had to admit that she wasn't exactly out looking for more Turians to join the crew. "True, but you've let just about anyone else on. Krogan, Salarians, Asari, Quarians…even that Drell."

He tried to be polite, truly Garrus did. But there was something about having an assassin on board that had him on edge. Especially Thane. He didn't pretend not to notice the way that the female crew members eyed him when he did venture out of the little nook he'd carved in Life Support. They practically fell at his feet. While he hadn't seen Shepard exhibiting such silly behavior, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous that she spent a considerable amount of time making sure he was comfortable. Logic told him that this was because Thane was ill and required special accommodations, but damn he just wished she would leave that Drell alone!

Not only that, but the stupid assassin was a sniper, just like Garrus. Their skills were pretty evenly matched, but Thane wielded some minor biotic abilities, making him the better choice between the pair when it came to squad composition.

"Garrus…" The reproach in Shepard's tone was unmistakable. "Do you have a problem with Thane?"

Leave it to Shepard to get straight to the heart of his problem. Making a mental note never to play poker with her, Garrus heaved a sigh. "It's just…he's a sniper. And a biotic. And I'm just…me. I mean, I understand if I stop going out on missions with you, really I do. Between us he's the better choice…"

Before he could even finish his sentence, Shepard's hand was clamped over Garrus's mouth, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Garrus. You were honestly worried because you thought I'd replace you with _Thane_?"

Hearing it put that way, the Turian felt very silly but he still nodded. The proximity of Shepard was making it very, very hard to stay focused on anything aside from the gentle pressure of her hand against his face.

Erin sat back, removed her hand from Garrus's mouth, and laughed heartily. After a moment she leaned forward, a broad grin on her features. "Garrus, you silly boy. Yes, Thane is a skilled fighter, but he will never, _ever_, replace you. I trust you with my life…you're my bond brother, remember?"

Despite that not being the full issue, Garrus couldn't help but smile sheepishly. The Commander's laughter was infectious. "Yeah…it does sound pretty ridiculous when you put it that way."

Nimbly extracting herself from her seat, Shepard stood. "You're damn right. No way anyone will replace my token Turian."

The Commander nodded, finishing her water in a swift gulp. "Go on and follow the rest of the crew's lead. I've given you some shore leave, best take advantage of it. Go to Afterlife, dance a little. Have a drink. Hit on some women. I've got some shopping to do. See if I can't find some food for you and Tali that doesn't look like roadkill."

As she vanished with a flip of her short mahogany locks into the elevator, Garrus Vakarian couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Commander Shepard got in late, after she had tracked down the last of her crew who had been enjoying themselves at Afterlife. Sighing, she leaned against the cool steel wall of the elevator, more than ready to just collapse into bed. What a day. She'd gone out with the intention of just buying some decent dextro - amnio based food for her crew but ended up helping a Quarian on his pilgrimage, running some errands for a Salarian, fighting for some old Krogan's honor, indulging in a few upgrades like a heavy skin weave, new visor for her helmet, and some upgrades that would make biotics more efficient with their cool down times. Hell, she had made it all the way back to the ship before she realized she'd forgotten the food and then spent another hour searching all over the station for it. Shepard had recalled some of Garrus and Tali's favorites from the first Normandy and had wanted to be able to give them some foods the pair would enjoy before their inevitable suicide mission. Plus there was always something so enjoyable about watching Garrus's face light up when he found something he enjoyed in the fridge…it was almost child-like in his joy.

With hardly a second thought she passed through the door into her room, set down the data pad Erin had been carrying as her shopping list and froze, taking a moment to realize what she was looking at.

Her entire desk and bed were covered in exotic flowers that she couldn't identify. They gave off a sweet fragrance, and their colors ranged from a deep russet red to a shocking blue to a warm yellow. Picking up one of the buds, Erin cradled it in her hands. The blooms looked similar to the roses grown on Earth, but as if they'd been cross-bred with a lily or snapdragon. With a girlish grin, she began to gather them into as many containers as she could find, trying to keep them off her bed and off the main workspace. As she worked, EDI informed her that the flowers were native to Invictus, and were highly valued in several alien cultures for their beauty and variety.

With a single sweep of her hand to brush a few stray petals off her pillows, Erin paused, her hand gently nudging against a card. She opened it, taking a moment to decipher the almost illegible scrawl. After a moment, she laughed, shaking her head.

_A little something from your Token Turian._


	25. Anyone Else But You

Inspired by "Anyone Else But You" from Juno

I really enjoyed writing this chapter...I think that even before he consciously realizes he's in love with her Garrus would be sort of a protective kind of guy. ^_^ D'awwwww. Shepard's casual outfit inspired by the wonderful rabbitzoro on DeviantArt.

* * *

_**Anyone Else But You**_

If there was one place in the galaxy Garrus thought he would never go again, Omega would have to be it. Still, if Shepard asked it of him, he would follow her to hell and back.

He hung back, watching her converse in low tones with the Asari Justicar, Samara, just outside the back entrance to Afterlife's VIP section. Samara had asked for Shepard's help in apprehending her murderous daughter, Morinth and of course Shepard had agreed. Usually Garrus wouldn't object to such a dangerous mission – they were a strong team and could handle themselves – except that Morinth was the Asari equivilant of a serial killer. An Ardat-Yakshi, as it were. To lure her in, Shepard was supposed to be the bait…draw her in and then get her alone.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Garrus closed his eyes and tried to remain calm. He understood the importance, truly he did, but couldn't Shepard wear something a little less…

Well, to use the human term, _sexy_?

Over a black, form fitting t-shirt Shepard wore a cropped vest of light violet and white. A short, almost smokey lilac skirt covered mid way down her thighs and a pair of knee high boots made her legs look long and slender. She wore fingerless gloves that stopped just before the elbow and as he snuck a peek over, Shepard adjusted the two belts that criss-crossed over her hips.

If Garrus had a say in the matter, Shepard would have worn her armor. Or his armor. Or hell, even Grunt's armor. Or all of them at the same time. Anything but…that. But when he'd offered to help choose an outfit he had been forcibly ejected from Shepard's room by Tali, Yeoman Chambers, Samara, and to his surprise, Miranda. After she had helped the Cerberus operative save her sister, Shepard and Miranda hadn't been so cold to each other. It was refreshing in a way.

"Garrus?"

He snapped out of his thoughts to find Shepard standing before him, her hands clasped tightly behind her back. Beaming, she rocked back and forth nervously. "I…I was just about to head in. Thought you'd want to know so you can get ready to follow me when I come out."

Smoothly, the Turian reached around to retrieve his rifle. "Oh, yeah. Thanks for the heads up Shepard."

For a long moment, the pair stared at each other. Shepard looked so uncomfortable out of her armor, and if he had the capabilities, Garrus would have been blushing furiously. Finally Shepard moved towards the door but paused with her hand on the activation pad, glancing back at her friend.

"Garrus?"

The blue eyed Turian met her gaze. "Yes Shepard?"

She smiled nervously. "Thanks for the flowers."

And with that, the brunette spectre vanished into the dimly lit club

* * *

"Look into my eyes and tell me you want me…tell me you'd kill for me. Anything I want."

Morinth looked incredibly like her mother. Shepard had to keep reminding herself that there could not be two people more different. Still…gazing into those black pits that were the Asari's eyes…it would be easy to simply lose control, to slip away…

_Nobody calls Commander Shepard for an easy job, right?_

In the back of her mind, Shepard started. That voice…it wasn't her own, she had figured out what her internal voice sounded by now. No, this was different. The tone, the harmonious way it seemed to almost sing…Garrus?

_Come on Shepard, I thought you knew me better than that_.

Garrus's voice seemed to revive her, allowing Shepard to pull back, yanking her eyes away from the Asari's. Panting a little, she set her jaw. "Don't count on it!"

Morinth blinked rapidly, her eyes returning to their crystalline blue. "But you…Who are you?"

Erin sat a little straighter, her shoulders back and her hands balling into fists. If worst came to worst, she would fight Morinth until Samara could intervene, but she didn't like going into a situation like this without Garrus at her back.

Or without armor.

Realization seemed to set in for the Asari across from her, since she furrowed her brow in disbelief. "Oh no, I see what's going on. The bitch herself found a little helper."

As if on cue, Samara strode into the apartment, glowing with biotic energy. She looked confident, but cold in her fury. Extending her hand, she released the power, snarling her daughter's name as the other flew into the window so hard a spiderweb of cracks formed. The sheer force of Samara's power had sent Erin stumbling backwards off the couch, half wondering if she should be anywhere near the two Asari while they fought.

"Shepard! Let us finish this!" Samara cried, never tearing her gaze away from her murderous daughter.

Erin stared in awe at the two. A hair twitch from either would finish it…Her deep ocean blue eyes flickered to Samara for only a moment before she moved like lighting. Yanking the Asari's arm backwards, she met the killer's gaze with no fear.

"End of the line Morinth."

"And they call me a monster…" Snarled Morinth. She didn't have time for any more words as her mother used a biotic push to throw the two women apart.

As Samara moved forwards, Shepard moved back, averting her eyes as the Justicar went in for the kill. Once upon a time she had killed an Asari Matriarch…Liara's mother. To watch Samara kill her daughter was painful because in some ways, she felt it was similar to back on Noveria. The Justicar stood, her back to Shepard. "I am ready to leave this place and get on with my life. Are you ready to go as well?"

Slowly, she approached Samara, concern etched into the commander's features. "Are you all right? Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Shaking her head, a deep sadness seemed to emanate from the blue skinned woman. "Shepard, what do you think I will say? What can I say? I just killed the bravest and smartest of my daughters. There are no words…I will try another time. For now, show mercy on a broken old warrior and let us leave."

Sympathetically nodding, Shepard walked with Samara towards the docking bay where Garrus joined them. The Turian was silent in respect of what had just happened, but they paused outside the airlock to the Normandy. Erin turned to address Samara. "Go on ahead and take however long you need Samara. I think…I think I need a drink."

Bowing her head serenely, the Justicar disappeared into the ship, leaving the human and Turian alone. Shepard glanced up at Garrus, raising an eyebrow as she did so. "I'm headed to Afterlife for a quick drink. Join me?"

Both knew that there would be only one person drinking that evening. Shortly after making up from their fight in the first few days Garrus had admitted to Shepard he'd pretty much given up drinking. Since then Shepard had convinced him to loosen up when they were aboard the ship but he still didn't feel comfortable drinking outside the Normandy. If the crew went to a bar he would often go along as the 'drunk driver' of sorts. He would watch out for the crew, make sure that they stayed mostly out of trouble.

With a shrug, he was already turning to head back towards the noise and light of Afterlife. "Sure. I'll just come along as bodyguard."

In amicable silence the pair made their way back to the bar. No lines for them, Shepard's status made sure of that. Once inside, Garrus was a little surprised to see Shepard making her way away from the main bar and towards a lower level. It only took a few long strides for the Turian to catch back up. "Shepard, this might just be me, but I thought the bar was back that way."

For the first time since starting out on the excursion into Omega, Shepard laughed. Pushing aside a few strands of hair, she shook her head. "I thought I'd try the lower level…somewhere a little out of the way. I don't want anyone to recognize me in this outfit."

Bitterly, Garrus recalled that since they hadn't had time to stop at the ship, Shepard hadn't gotten the chance to change out of her 'bait' outfit. While the idea of his commanding officer in such an outfit had the Turian embarrassed, he just wished that other men wouldn't stare at her so much.

Mercifully the lower level wasn't as crowded as the upper portion of the bar. Trailing several feet behind Shepard, Garrus allowed her to approach the bar alone. Let her do her thing while he took the time to examine the rest of the bar. Unfortunately, had Garrus taken another moment to see what Shepard had been served, he could have told her that it wasn't meant for levo-amino based consumption. All the Turian heard was a thud as Shepard staggered backwards and collapsed to the floor.

"Shepard!"

Swiftly, Garrus crouched beside the human, bending so his face was only inches from hers. He could still feel the tickle of air from her mouth, so she was still breathing. Good. Despite the fact that several patrons had stopped what they were doing to watch, Garrus gently gathered Shepard into his arms. Cradling Erin against his chest like this, the blue-eyed Turian was reminded how fragile humans could be…no matter what Shepard was always trying to prove.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Another Turian approached, his mandibles flared in concern. Garrus jerked his head infinitesimally towards the bar. "Bartender poisoned her. I've got to get her to a medic, excuse me."

Without another word, Garrus swept past and into the darkness of Omega.

* * *

"…coming around soon. Commander, how do you feel?"

Erin Shepard groaned, trying to get her bearings. Her limbs felt heavy and the bright lights caused her throbbing headache to worsen.

"EDI, dim lights! Shepard, I should've warned you. I'm so sorry."

As the light faded to a more bearable level, the brunette opened her eyes. Above her she could see the skylight in her room as well as Doctor Chakwas. The silver haired doctor nodded before turning a little. "She should be all right, just rest right now. Let me know if either of you need anything and I'll be in the med bay."

Curiosity piqued Shepard's interest. Rolling her head to the side, Erin blinked. Garrus hovered over her, ice blue eyes filled with worry. He hardly seemed to notice as Chakwas exited, all his attention fixed on Shepard. With a deep breath, Shepard tried to take account of herself. Nothing broken, but as she ran through her mental checklist of body parts intact – starting with her toes and working up – she paused at her right hand.

Not that it was broken or anything. In fact, it was completely fine. It was just firmly grasped between Garrus's warm talons.

The Turian must have realized it at the same time Shepard did, since he released her hand as if it would burn him, but the worry didn't leave his face.

At long last, Shepard swallowed dryly and managed to speak. "What happened?"

Shaking his head, Garrus averted his gaze. "I should've seen it coming. That Batarian bartender gave you a dextro-amino based drink instead of levo-amnio. Basically he tried to poison you. I heard that one of the other patrons heard what happened and took care of it…You're lucky Commander. A few minutes later and Cerberus would've had to start another Lazarus project."

A weak chuckle escaped the commander as she reached up, using her hand to turn Garrus's face so that he would look at her. "You saved me, so we don't need to worry about that."

Her eyes were hazy, but there was no doubt that the Commadner's mind was still as sharp as ever. Against the Turian's smooth plates, her hand was almost cool. "My Archangel, always watching out for me. You're my bond brother and my friend. I don't see why I would choose anyone but you to stand by my side…thank you Garrus."

Too shocked by her touch to pull away, Garrus still managed to clench his mandibles tightly to his face. "It shouldn't have happened in the first place Shepard. I should've been more aware. I…"

Leaning into her touch a little, Garrus closed his ice blue eyes in a poor attempt to hide the guilt in his voice. "I was careless and it almost cost you. I can't lose you again Shepard….none of us can."

Silence settled between the two as Shepard searched for something to say. She wished there was some way to comfort her friend, but for once in her life, no words would come. Instead, she peered up at him inquisitively. "Just how long was I out for?"

Wincing, Garrus's voice was low. "The better part of a day. Chakwas and Mordin have been working pretty hard to make sure you stay with us."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"Before we went after Morinth."

Finally testing her limbs, Shepard used what little strength she had left to move to the other side of the bed. A gentle tug on the covers pulled them back enough for her hand to be seen. "We both need sleep. Stay here and get some rest. And don't give me that look Vakarian. It's not like we're naked."

For a moment, Erin thought the Turian would refuse. Then, he slowly nodded, slipping beneath the sheets while leaving a healthy distance between them. Shepard felt her eyes drooping closed. Before sleep claimed her once more, she gripped the edge of the covers.

"Stay?"

The question was more of a contented sigh than anything else. At long last Garrus relaxed from the vigil he'd kept for well over twenty four hours, relief creeping in. Hesitantly, he reached over and brushed aside some unruly mahogany strands with the back of his talon.

"For you Shepard, always."


	26. Many The Miles

Inspired by Sara Bareilles' "Many The Miles"

More fluff. I've hit sort of a block and it's mostly from being exhausted. I think the next chapter will be a little fluffy, but more on track. This also happens to be one of my favorite songs of all time. ^_^

* * *

_**Many The Miles**_

Tuchanka was nothing like Illium or the Citadel, but as Shepard leaned casually against the cool slabs of stone, she could definitely see why the Krogan were attatched. The complete devastation and nuclear winter seemed to be the type of environment that Krogan thrived off of…a challenge on top of the genophage.

"Shepard."

Finally glancing at the Krogan seated beside her, Shepard smiled wryly. Urdnot Wrex hadn't changed in the two years apart, aside from his clan status. As chief, he now oversaw the area that Shepard had seen, and even more aside from that. With a shake of her head, Shepard quirked an eyebrow upwards.

"Wrex. Seems like the years have been treating you well."

Rumbling appreciatively, Wrex gave Shepard a quick once over with his bright crimson eyes. "Could say the same for you. Returning from the dead? I should have known."

"Well, you know me. Too many things I hadn't gotten around to doing." With a wink, Shepard seated herself on the 'arm' of Wrex's chair. It was really a bunch of rubble and stone slabs, but it made for an impressive throne of sorts. Eyeing the Krogan, she gave him a gentle nudge. "Sure I can't convince you to come with me?"

The great rust-colored Krogan released a booming laugh before shaking his head. "No Shepard. Someone needs to keep these fools in line."

With a sorrowful smile, Erin returned her gaze to the Urdnot camp. "Yeah, I know…worth a shot though. With you back on the crew it'd be just like old times again."

Both warriors fell silent, gazing out across the terrain. Down near the food stores, Tali and Garrus were having a friendly competition about which one of them could kill the most Pyjacks. The Turian had opted to use his sniper rifle while Tali took over the heavy cannon that the Urdnot had installed. From where they stood, it looked as though Garrus was winning, but the pair seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"Looks like the whelp finally did some growing up." The Krogan's deep voice roused Shepard from her thoughts. Wrex continued on. "Kid blamed himself for your death you know. Real torn up about it. Worse than you after Virmire."

Erin couldn't help but flinch. After Virmire she had been…well, she'd been pretty messed up. That hadn't been the first time she'd lost a crew member, not by a long shot, but there had been something about Ashley that was different. Perhaps it had been the fact that she'd known the woman for such a short amount of time or what they'd gone through together, but the soldier had been part of her crew. They were like family.

Not only that, but she had never known that Garrus blamed himself. After their little fight in the first few weeks, they had been talking more, that was for certain, but neither of them wanted to breach the topic of her death or the time he'd spent without her. To hear Wrex saying that Garrus had blamed himself made Shepard feel only more than a little guilty.

Either oblivious or tastefully ignoring Shepard's reaction, Wrex rumbled on. "But now you're here and he's in tow. Along with the rest of your new crew…trust you to step in a mess for each of them. Just like you did for each of us, huh Shepard?"

The brunette crossed her arms over her chest, a sparkle glittering in her ocean blue eyes. "It was the least I could do for you then…why not now? I got your family armor back, I helped Tali on her Pilgrimage, and of course we tried to take in Dr. Saleon for Garrus. This crew deserves the same respect and treatment. If that means adding a new member to your clan or finding a lost Salarian so be it."

Beside her the Krogan laughed, a booming noise that echoed off the stone walls and rubble. With a mighty shake of his head, Wrex fixed his crimson eyes on his old comrade. "Shepard, you truly are something else. You do all of this with so little and yet from that you have made so much."

Holding her hands up, Erin couldn't help but smile at her Krogan friend. "No no, I just do what I can with what I've got wherever I end up. For now, that's with Cerberus," She snarled as she mentioned the human-centric organization, "But at least I've got Garrus and Tali with me. Especially Garrus. I couldn't do this without him."

Down below, Garrus and Tali seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves as they sniped the little creatures that would otherwise be terrorizing the food stores. The mighty Krogan chief inclined his head a little so as to better observe Shepard. She gazed down on the pair like a proud parent, but at the same time her gaze was fixed on only one of the two below. Be it consciously or not, Shepard's gaze was consistently drawn back to Garrus, not matter how far it roved in the meantime. For someone who had watched the pair interact aboard the first Normandy, it was an odd role reversal. Niether one had been aware of it, but when Shepard wasn't watching, Garrus would constantly keep his gaze fixed on the commander as if she had a gravity of her own. Now she gazed upon him as if this would be the last time she would see the Turian, seeming to drink in every little detail about him even from afar.

It was a look Wrex had seen before, when the young Krogans first visited the camps. Every once in a while, a male would see a child and just know it was his. He would look upon that child with the same look that Shepard now gave to Garrus. A look of unconditional love. If he hadn't known Shepard better, Wrex might have taken the human commander as a complete sap for the way she gazed at the Turian, but he knew better. He knew that while they gazed at each other and remained friends, there was much more. Everyone knew it but them and to the Krogan, that was amusing.

His deep chuckle seemed to startle Erin from her daze, her blue eyes fixed on the great Krogan sitting behind her. "What is so funny?"

Waving a hand nonchalantly, Wrex smirked. "Only you, Shepard. Only you would go do something like this."

"Yeah, well, those Collectors and Reapers aren't going to kill themselves, as much as I would like them to." Her tone was light and happy. Wrex's true meaning had sailed clean over her head, making a slight whistling sound as it did so.

Still, Wrex had to admit it was a pleasant change for the Commander to be enjoying herself. Not that she hadn't when they'd worked together before, but she had always been on edge with that human biotic dogging her steps. Even back then, she had run to Garrus for an escape from the attention.

To a Krogan, the human was a puzzle. Shepard was strong, far stronger than any other humans Wrex had encountered before, but she didn't wish to use it if she didn't have to. She loved battle, but she loved to sit quietly and think about the stars as they passed. She could go from serene to full out battle fury in seconds, and would just as soon shoot you as she would help you solve a problem. This was a woman who would ask you to get something within a few yards of her, but then cross a galaxy on her own to retrieve a friend.

Rising, Wrex gazed at the human beside him. "You have traveled many miles. Stay here and rest for a time. The Urdnot clan would be welcome to your presence."

As he offered, Tali and Garrus approached. Hovering just over her shoulder, Garrus gave a thoughtful little hum. The brunette offered the pair a little smile before returning her gaze back to Wrex. "I would love to Wrex, but my mission is too important. Just as yours is much too important for you to leave, mine is too big for me to stay. There are still more members of my crew that need my assistance. We need to leave tonight so that we can reach the Migrant Fleet by morning."

There was a quick handshake, a nod to the crew members, and then the Normandy crew moved out. As they went, Urdnot Wrex took this opportunity to watch his former crew. They laughed and talked just as they always had. Tali gave Garrus a gentle shove, probably because he was bragging about winning their little shooting contest, while Shepard simply smiled serenely.

Erin Shepard should have been a Krogan, of that Wrex was certain. But as it stood, she was human and always would be. Still, Wrex admitted begrudgingly, for a human like her to fall for a Turian like Garrus well…

She hadn't done too bad.


	27. Lean On Me

Inspired by the Glee version of "Lean On Me"

Paragon speech, ftw. Also, Tali/Reegar ftw. My second favorite pairing aside from Garrus/Shep

* * *

_**Lean On Me**_

Garrus Vakarian loved his rifle. Let no one tell you otherwise. But his rifle came in a dead tie when it came to watching Commander Shepard work her magic with words. Even as an outsider aboard the Migrant Fleet, Shepard was a formidable presence.

Seated on the top steps of the courtyard in the Neema, the Turian listened to the way his helmet gently filtered the air in. It was so strange to be here, in the place where Tali had lived most of her life. Now she returned only to find herself accused of treason, her father dead, and the very real threat of exile breathing down her neck.

"Tali helped me defeat Seren and the geth at the Citadel. That should be all the evidence you need!"

One of the Admirals sputtered, trying to make a point, but Shepard barreled on. "You're not really interested in Tali, are you? This trial isn't about her. It's about the geth. You want people to sympathize with them! Han'Gerrel wants to go to war! None of you care about Tali! She knows more about the geth than any other Quarian alive. You should be listening to her, not putting her on trial!"

But now, Shepard strode back and forth before the Admirals, her voice still strong despite being filtered through her helmet. Garrus liked to think that her mastery of language came from the ancestor that Shepard had been named after. Once she had told Garrus that she had been named after one of her ancestors from the early twenty first century who had not been a great hero, but a plain old English teacher.

"Tali'Zorah saved the Citadel! She saved the Alarei! She showed the galaxy the value of the Quarian people! I can't think of any stronger evidence than that!"

The brunette's words caused the crowd to ripple and murmur, and Garrus refocused in time to hear the admirals deliver their acquittal of Tali. As the Quarians began to disperse, the Turian rose and spotted his commander through the crowd.

Shepard was embracing Tali tightly, the other woman had her face buried in the human's shoulder. If Shepard was burdened by Tali, she didn't show it. Her ocean blue eyes were gentle, smiling behind the visor. Drawing closer, Garrus couldn't help but marvel at how she willingly bore the weight of her crew's problems and kept smiling despite it.

Tali raised her face, relief seeming to emanate from her. With a quick nod at Garrus, she took a deep breath. "I can't believe you pulled that off. What you said…I've never had anyone speak like that on my behalf. Thank you for being there for my father and me, even when…Thank you."

"We can still go back in and get you exiled if you want." Erin's voice was light and full of humor as she jerked her thumb towards where the Admirals had stood not moments before.

Her joking lightened the mood significantly, and Tali laughed a little before shaking her head. "Thanks, but I'm fine with things like this. It's fun watching you shout. I would like to go speak with Kal'Reegar before we go…"

Even with the mask, Garrus could tell Tali must have been blushing furiously. The fact she liked Reegar was no secret to the commander or the Turian, since they had been sending messages back and forth since Haestrom. Before Garrus had the chance to tease her about it, Erin nodded. "Take all the time you need, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

Scampering off, Tali made her way across the plaza to the crimson suited Quarian, leaving Garrus and Shepard to recline on the stairs. After a moment, the cobalt armored Turian turned to Shepard.

"Why do you do all this for us?"

When she glanced up at him, Garrus silently cursed her helmet. It only showed her stunning blue eyes, but concealed much of her face, making it nigh impossible for the poor Turian to read her facial expressions. Now he just had to rely on her tone and her eyes. "What do you mean Garrus?"

With a quick shrug, Garrus made a sweeping motion with his hand. "I mean this. You didn't have to come here and defend Tali. You didn't have to blow up the Teltin facility with Jack. But you did. Why?"

Shepard was silent for a long while. Resting her chin in her hand, she stared out over the courtyard, lost in thought. "I guess…I feel it's the least I can do. I mean, everyone can have pain and sorrows and we all need some help. We might not come back from this mission, I know that. At least before we go I can help everyone settle any unfinished business. You all give me one hundred percent, and so do I."

She returned her gaze to her friend, who was silent and thoughtful as she continued. "You remember the ancestor I was named after, right? Well, she was one of the first in my family to join a discipline of karate that was passed through the generations. I learned the same style in my time at N7, and I recall two basic lessons. First and foremost was that you always gave everything you had, no exceptions. I take that with me into everything I do."

"I guess that makes sense." Admitted Garrus, his voice humming softly as he spoke. "What was the second lesson you learned?"

"Pressure equals pain."

It was the very matter-of-fact, calm tone that Shepard replied with that caused Garrus to pull back, a little startled. "I'm sorry, what?"

Chuckling softly, Shepard seemed to be smiling. "Pressure equals pain. Think about it. How much does this," She pushed against him with an open hand, "hurt you?"

"Not that much."

"Exactly. Now how about," Shepard struck Garrus again with the same force, this time with a closed fist, "that?"

Even with his armor on, the strike hurt. Rubbing at the spot, he leaned away. "Ok, ok, I get it. Same force, smaller area means more pain. So you go out of your way to help us because…it's basically who you are?"

Shepard laughed, tossing her head back. "Yes, that would be the best way to put it. I do this just because it's who I am. Do you think that's strange?"

The statement paused Garrus for a moment before he tilted his head, almost thoughtful. "I guess. I mean, Turians are always taught to put aside our personal issues for the greater good. Same with the Quarians…they're always giving up things because they have to. You? You give up part of your time and effort because you want to."

Silence fell between the pair, each retreating to their own thoughts. Shepard contented herself with watching Tali and Reegar flirt with each other. It was cute, in a way. He refused to call her anything other than "ma'am" no matter how she insisted he do otherwise. In a way, it reminded her of Garrus, who she was still trying to get him to use her given name.

Garrus was thinking about their next destination. Shepard had promised him that once they were done aboard the Migrant Fleet, they would head for the Citadel where she would first help Thane rescue his son before following his lead on Sidonis. Nearly a month had passed since his rescue from Omega, but Garrus still felt a cold fury when he recalled the only other surviving member of his team. In his mind, he was dead set on taking the other Turian's life. Shepard knew this, but she refused to talk about it.

To take his mind off of the impending confrontation, he turned to Shepard. "You spoke well before the Admirals, you know."

Even though there was a mask in the way of most of Shepard's face, but he could see a flush creeping up the bridge of her nose. "It's not a big deal…Tali would have done the same for me."

"Of course I would have."

Despite her mellow voice, Shepard and Garrus jumped at the sound of Tali's voice. She seemed to be smiling as her crewmates stood, Kal'Reegar at her side. In an instant, Shepard had cooled the blush from her face and stepped back into the role of Commander. They said their goodbyes to Kal'Reegar before heading back towards the Normandy.

Garrus trailed behind, watching Shepard and Tali chat amongst themselves. She was so selfless…and not because she had to be. Shepard wanted to give up time, money, and whatever else she needed to for everyone around her. But he had to wonder…what did she want? There had to be something Shepard wanted to do before diving into hell itself.

"Vakarian?"

Blinking, he found Shepard staring up at him, her eyes broadcasting her concern. He gave a quick shake of his head to clear it. "Sorry, I was just thinking…you've done so much for us. Is there something you want to do?"

If there had ever been a question that Shepard had never gotten before, it would have to be that one. She blinked, her long eyelashes fluttering behind her visor. "I…I never thought about it."

The pair stepped into the decontamination chamber, the lights of the Normandy bathing them in an almost sterile atmosphere. Finally able to remove her helmet, Shepard tore it off her head, shaking out her short mahogany hair. Garrus felt a wave of relief at once more being able to see Shepard's face, the scars from her reconstruction now faded, only the slightest traces visible in the harsh overhead lights. Even so, they seemed to completely vanish when she beamed up at him. It was a stunning effect that no matter how often Garrus gazed upon it he would always stumble over his words. "W-Well Commander, if you think of anything, let us now and we'll be happy to help."

Erin Shepard smiled, the door to the CIC opening with a soft hiss. "Trust me Garrus, if I think of something, you will be the first to know."


	28. King of Anything

Inspired by Sara Bareilles's "King of Anything"

So yeah...slow update is slow. I've been busy. But this is one that I love...the song is great. This is actually the first single off Sara Bareilles's new album, Kaleidoscope Heart I think it's called, which is coming out in the next month or two. But I love it. You can find the video on Youtube. And once again, I need all of your help. The next chapter is definitely covering Garrus's Loyalty Mission, but I simply can't find a song that fits. If you have a suggestion, leave it in a comment!

Also, F*** the Illusive Man. With a spoon.

* * *

_**King Of Anything**_

The platform rose into the air, shaking enough to send the trio off balance. Tali stumbled and collapsed to the floor while Shepard wobbled unsteadily. As soon as they were stable, Garrus extended a hand, helping the Quarian to her feet while Shepard tried to get a handle on the situation. He only caught EDI's slightly alarmed claim that someone else was in the system before more platforms appeared on the horizon.

"Guns up!" Shepard roared, unholstering her heavy pistol which she had taken a great liking to since first getting it from Mordin.

Collectors chattered in their weird, insect like manner as they opened fire. Kneeling behind a low wall, Garrus popped his head up to take a quick shot before reloading. As he did so, Shepard caught his eye and flung one of the aliens into the air using her biotic shockwave. It had become something of a game to the pair; Shepard would throw the enemies as high as she could and Garrus would see if he could hit them before they came down.

Of course, the trio barely had time to relax before the next wave arrived, an ominous voice reaching them from across the battlefield.

"I am assuming direct control…"

"NO! NO NO NO NO! GET THE HELL OFF MY BATTLEFIELD!" The brunette commander would have recognized that voice anywhere. Harbinger was the voice of a very real Reaper, projected through one unlucky Collector he possessed. He was also a general pain in the ass.

Before anyone could say otherwise, Shepard yanked the stolen Collector beam off her back and opened fire on the offending Reaper/Collector hybrid. Had they not been under fire from several other foes, Garrus might have laughed as Shepard swept the gold beam around, decapitating at least one husk as she did so. And yet, Harbinger kept coming towards them, disintegrating into a fine dust only feet before them, leaving an eerie silence.

Shepard stood, exhaling her relief as she did so. "All right, let's go reconnect EDI."

The trio trudged down the platforms, eventually back to their original platform, EDI chirruping something about always working at maximum capacity. And while the platform spun back towards it's home, she dropped a bomb.

"There is no way the Illusive Man could have thought this distress signal was genuine."

Commander Shepard curled her hands into fists, her blue eyes blazing with anger. "That son of a bitch set us up!" The statement was fairly mild considering she was radiating biotic energy in her anger.

With a heavy sigh, Garrus shook his head. "And here I thought I'd had my attempted murder and betrayal for the year."

Something in his tone finally reached the Commander, who smiled softly at him before giving EDI a nod of thanks. "All right, it's time to get the hell out of here. I have more than a few choice words for the Illusive Man when we get back."

* * *

Well, Shepard did have a few words for the Illusive Man and she made sure he heard. And the entirety of the crew as well. Jack, upon hearing that the Commander was about to tear their boss a new one, gleefully gathered as many crew members as she could to eavesdrop on their fearless leader from outside the conference room. Fortunately that wasn't necessary, since Shepard's voice carried easily through the hallway and filtered quite well into Mordin's lab. It was an enlightening experience to say the least. Even Jack learned some new curse words that she quickly incorporated into her usual arsenal.

Garrus had left shortly after Shepard's voice had died away, retreating quickly to the Main Battery. He knew how Shepard was when she was in one of her bad moods and he did NOT want to be anywhere near this one. Silently thanking the Spirits that he was not the cause of this one, he ducked into his hidey hole and breathed a sigh of relief.

The safety of the Main Battery would last him for a while, or at least until Shepard calmed down. In truth, he hoped she would be able to keep her cool once they got to the Citadel…last time they'd gone Udina had quite ruined her good mood and they'd left the station in a rush. But this time would be different…she would be there to help Thane find his son and then help Garrus find Sidonis. To be perfectly honest, Garrus found that he was more apprehensive about this mission than he thought. His resolve was firm that much he was sure of, but the idea of facing down the man who killed his whole team…it set his blood to boiling. Every now and then he would have nightmares where he was back on Omega, watching his whole team die before his eyes while Sidonis laughed manically in the background. Sometimes Sidonis would turn into Seren, who would be standing over the bloody corpse of a teammate, a dead Shepard draped over his shoulder.

He would never admit to it, but the ones where Shepard appeared were the worst for Garrus. The Turian would awake in a cold sweat and force himself to stay in his cot instead of making his way up to Shepard's room to check she was still there and breathing. Although the pair had agreed that the only ones responsible for her death were the Collectors, Garrus couldn't help but feel a deep sense of guilt over the whole thing.

Resigning himself to the fact that there would be no calibrations done when he was in this mood, Garrus slipped through the mess hall and into the elevator. Perhaps the Cargo bay would let him focus a little more. To his surprise, Garrus found that the usually deserted hold was not so empty.

Erin Shepard gave a snarl of frustration, using her biotics to fling a crate across the room, missing Garrus by a few feet. If this phased the Turian, he did his best not to show it as he approached the enraged commander. "Shepard, I'm sure Miranda would appreciate you not trying to break our food supplies."

Breathing heavily, Shepard cooled the biotic glow from her skin. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just…that _bastard_!"

The brunette emphasized the last word with a punch to the nearest crate, the metal clang resounding through the whole cargo hold. Very calmly, Garrus held up a single talon and strode towards the far corner of the hold. Erin watched him the whole way, her curiosity sufficiently piqued. After some digging, the Turian returned with a large mat which he unrolled in the large open space that the Commander had cleared.

Slowly, Erin approached, her blue eyes roving over the large mat that had been rolled out. Garrus was grinned, making a sweeping motion with his hands. "Looks like you're carrying some tension. Maybe I can help you get rid of that. What do you say Commander? A little sparring, just you and me."

"But-" Now Garrus held up a talon while the Commander approached, "There are some conditions. I will remove my heavy armor, and you can't use biotics."

For a moment, Erin seemed to turn the idea over in her mind. Then, with a decisive nod, she gave a small smile. "All right. You have yourself a deal."

It took a little squirming, but Garrus managed to get his bulky chest armor off and his shoulders before Shepard pounced. His ice blue eyes went wide momentarily as Garrus wondered exactly what he'd gotten himself into. Instinctively, he stepped back and caught the fist Shepard threw at him. What poor Garrus wasn't expecting was for the pissed human to grab his wrist, yanking him forward while her foot connected with his stomach. All the breath in Garrus's lungs exploded outwards and he stumbled back, mandibles fluttering as he gasped for air.

"Spirits, Shepard. I know you're pretty pissed at the Illusive Man, but if you kill me I'm not going to be much use when we go through the Omega Four relay!"

The next punch was still brutal, but the edge was taken off and allowed Garrus to counter swiftly. Erin shook hair out of her eyes, fury still radiating from her. "It's just pissing me off…He brings me back to life, gives me my ship back, gives me a crew, and then decides he can throw me and my crew into a trap just like that? Who died and made him king?"

"You, apparently."

The words were out of Garrus's mouth before he could stop himself. Shepard, thankfully, still retained her good sense of humor and chuckled before swinging a hand at his head. "He just expects me to jump on board with him….that bastard doesn't get that I don't agree with him. Hell, I didn't exactly see eye to eye with the Alliance either, but at least they got me off the street."

Swiftly the blue eyed Turian deflected the blow and with a sweep of his leg, had Shepard on the floor. Poised over her, he kept a hold of the Commander's arm. "I'm not sure I understand…"

Shepard shifted as much as she could without dislocating her own arm to gaze up at Garrus with her ocean blue eyes. The fury seemed to have drained from her for now. "All my life I've been trying to make everyone happy. Save those that I can, take orders like a good girl. It's who I am I suppose, but it hurts to hide the part of me that wants to be a little selfish and take something for myself. I guess that's why I loved being a spectre; it gave me the ability to make my own choices and take responsibility for them. All my life I'd been waiting for someone to tell me it was my turn to decide."

"So you just don't like having someone stand over your shoulder and second guess all your decisions and play you to their will." It sounded so obvious to Garrus, but then again, sometimes the obvious needed to be stated. Unconsciously, the Turian eased up his grip.

A mistake, as it were. Shepard used the distraction to wiggle free and pounce on Garrus, the pair tumbling head over heels a few times before she pinned him at the edge of the mat, one knee on his chest and her hands pinning his wrists to the mat. She grinned devilishly down at the dazed Turian. "Exactly."

"That…was not nice." Heaved Garrus, his air flow significantly constricted due to his commander's knee on his chest.

Amused, Erin let up the pressure enough so that Garrus could breathe but not enough so that he could reverse their situation. "You never said no dirty fighting. Besides, I couldn't let you win when we have an audience."

Oh so slightly, Garrus tilted his head to look over Shepard's shoulder. He'd completely forgotten that there was a window in Engineering that overlooked the cargo hold. Jack grinned down at them wolfishly while Grunt pounded on his chest; a sure sign he would soon be asking who wanted to spar with him. A few of the human crew were watching, but what surprised Garrus was the presence of Thane at the window. The Drell rarely left Life Support due to his condition, but he stood still as a stone, watching them with his almost completely obsidian eyes.

Once more Garrus's attention was diverted abruptly as Shepard rose to her feet, accidentally pressing her knee deep into his chest as she did so. She smiled and extended a hand to Garrus, who took it as he rose, rubbing at his chest. "Remind me to never piss you off…but the sparring was pretty fun."

Shepard beamed, hoisting his chest plate and offering the armor to her friend. "I'm glad you had fun. Maybe we can do it again some time?"

Garrus had slid back into his armor by this time, and nodded while trying to adjust how his armor was sitting on his shoulders. "Next time I need to work off some stress, I promise, you'll be the first person I ask."


	29. Mad World

Inspired by Gary Jules's and Michael Andrews' cover of "Mad World"

Shorter chapter for a shorter song. Many thanks for the song. And for anyone concerned, I've been doing fine, (really great actually) just busy as all get all. I return to school in a few weeks, so I'm doing that, prepping for two finals, and working two jobs. Soon it'll all be done and I'll go back to school to relax. Wait...

* * *

_**Mad World**_

_It's just not like you_.

The words rang in Garrus's head, an accusatory tone added by his overactive imagination. His sharp teeth ground against each other as he tried to shake away Shepard's words from his brain.

_…What do you want from me Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?_

_ I'm not sure. But I wouldn't let it change me_.

Typical Shepard, Garrus reasoned, trying to refocus on his scope. She always believed in the best in everyone, but there was no way Sidonis had any good in him. He led ten good men to their deaths; that was on his head.

_I understand what you're going through, but do you really want to kill him?_

_ I appreciate your concern…but I'm not you._

_ This isn't you either_.

Still…the way she'd said that….no hesitation. She always seemed to know something that he didn't…Shaking his head, Garrus willed himself to be still. He'd seen his target in the scope. The Turian sitting on the bench, now raising his pale silver-green eyes to look at the human woman beckoning him closer.

Sidonis. He was so close… He could hear every word they said, even the panic when Shepard uttered his name aloud. His facial tattoos had been faded, the blue lines now a pale sky color and the yellow that had once been splashed across his cheekbones had faded so that his plating looked almost sickly. Even so, Garrus would never be able to forget this one Turian for as long as he lived. It was now or never.

"Shepard, you're in my shot. Move to the side."

In the scope, the brunette didn't move. Instead, she spoke calmly, warning of the danger. Panic was evident in the other Turian's voice as he asked Shepard if this was some sort of joke. It was most certainly not, but the Turian didn't need to know that. Garrus was angry – pretty furious, actually - that Shepard wouldn't just _move_.

"Dammit Shepard! If he moves, I'm taking the shot."

Through the headset, his former teammate's voice filtered through, scared and small sounding. "You…you're not kidding, are you? Screw this. I'm not sticking around here to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems…"

Before he could get a clear shot, Shepard's hand shot out and grabbed the other Turian. "Don't move!"

He whirled, brushing the Commander's arm off. "Get off me!"

"I am the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head!"

Sidonis's exhaled expletive filtered through to Garrus, giving the sniper a small sense of satisfaction. Below Sidonis fumbled, trying to explain himself, but Garrus was having none of it. He knew what had happened, and no amount of words could make that go away. His former teammate spoke of choices…

"Everyone has a choice."

It was something Shepard had always taught him…once upon a time she had told him that it was impossible to control how people would act, but you could control how you reacted and that in the end, that was what really mattered. Well, Sidonis had acted. Now he was reacting.

"Let me take the shot Shepard. He's a damn coward!"

In the scope, he caught the briefest glimmer of her blue eyes before Shepard moved in perfect synch with his target. "That's it? You were just trying to save yourself?"

Perhaps he had a chance at having Sidonis dead after all…Shepard's tone was full of confusion and anger. Still, she did not stop shielding the other Turian as they moved towards the railing. The target leaned against the railing, shaking his head. "I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that."

What Sidonis did next gave Garrus pause. "I wake up every night…sick…and sweating. Each of their faces looking at me…accusing me. I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over."

Once more, Shepard's words drifted to his mind. A long time ago, she'd said that there were worse things than being dead…back then he hadn't believed her, but re-living the two years without her made him reconsider the idea that there might be worse things than death out there. And seeing the way Sidonis looked now…

"Just give me the chance." He growled into the com, but some of the bite had left his voice.

Below him, Shepard turned so that he could see her bright blue eyes as she spoke. "You gotta let it go Garrus. He's already paying for his crime."

"He hasn't paid enough! He still has his life."

Although he knew he was hidden enough so that she could hardly see him, Shepard's eyes locked onto Garrus's. "Look at him, Garrus. He's not alive…there's nothing left to kill."

In a way, she was right….Sidonis looked sick and weak, but that didn't change a thing. Feeling resolve slipping away, the Turian grasped at his reasons. "My men…they deserved better."

"Tell Garrus…"

Situated in his loft, Garrus froze, waiting for the next round of groveling and bullshit from his former teammate. _Just give me a reason_, he silently begged. But that reason was not forthcoming as the Turian in the scope bent his head, shame echoing through his voice.

"I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right."

Within, something clicked. Garrus turned, hiding his face in the cowl of his armor. When he spoke, his voice which had been so steady not moments ago, shook with pent up emotion. "Just…go. Tell him to go."

He barely heard what happened next. It was all he could do to contain himself as he furiously strode back towards where Shepard would meet him by the transit station.

* * *

Even as Shepard got out of the car, Garrus knew she would want to talk about it. It was just in her nature to assess how the situation was affecting her team. He had to stop her before she could open her mouth. Practically skidding to a halt, he clenched his talons tightly. "I know you want to talk about this…but I don't. Not yet."

Somewhere in Shepard's deep blue eyes, a hint of sorrow flickered, but then it was gone. "I know it didn't go the way you planned, but I think it's for the best."

With a small, annoyed huff, Garrus began to pace. "I'm not so sure."

"Give it time."

Time. Hah. What a joke that was…that's what they'd said after she had died…it still hadn't worked. Bitter sarcasm crept into his voice. "Yeah. Maybe that'll be enough."

Finally stopping before Shepard, he gazed down at her, once more feeling like the young rookie Turian she'd taken aboard the Normandy two years ago, not the battle hardened veteran he was now. "I want to know I did the right thing. Not just for me - for my men. They deserve to be avenged. But when Sidonis was in my sights…I just couldn't do it."

"The lines between good and evil blur when we're looking at people we know." For such a young human, Erin Shepard spoke with the wisdom of someone twice her age. At times, Garrus felt that some Asari Matriarchs could stand to learn a thing or two from her.

With a little shrug, he rocked on his feet. "Yeah. There was still good in him…I could see it. It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray…I don't know what to do with gray."

And in typical Shepard fashion, she offered him a dazzling smile. "You've got to go with your instincts."

Garrus laughed a little. "My instincts are what got me into this mess."

In a heartbeat, Shepard had closed the distance between them, giving him a quick, one armed half hug half pat on the shoulder. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself."

For the half second that their bodies connected, Garrus's heart did an odd stutter-step before resuming its normal beating. Exhaling softly, he drew back. "Thanks Shepard. For everything."


	30. Winter Song

Inspired by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles' "Winter Song

This is the only time I will actually have an event occur that did not happen in my ME2 game. I don't have live, so no Normandy Crash Site for me, but I think it should've been included in the game. And before anyone tells me that there are only 20 dog tags, there is a 21st pair that you can find (thank you Youtube). Fans have speculated that these unknown tags are Shepard's tags. Also, thirty chapters. Thank you all for your continued support. ^_^

* * *

_**Winter Song**_

Never had the inside of the Kodiak been so quiet. But then again, never had it been so empty. At minimum, Shepard would have her ground team with her but not today. Instead, she was the only passenger while Garrus drove. The only sound was gentle hum of the engine as they descended into the atmosphere.

Every now and then, Garrus chanced a glance back at Shepard. She sat still and silent, cradling her helmet in her hands. The brunette had been this way since the prior evening when the Illusive Man had passed on a message from Admiral Hackett. Immediately after skimming the letter several times, Shepard had ordered a course set and spoken to Garrus about her plan.

Still, this mission was one that Shepard felt she had to do. She had to go here and see…see the site of her death.

Alchera.

Finally looking out the window, Shepard watched the snow banks and drifts come into view. Amidst the vast plain of ice was a smattering of steel and metal. It was here that Garrus gingerly put down the Hammerhead in a nice little clearing.

The Normandy wreckage rose above the little craft like a forest of twisted, charred metal. Wires long devoid of power hung like vines off their jagged metal 'branches.' A storm had just come through, so the last whisps of silver clouds hung just over the horizon. Directly above, thousands of stars glimmered like diamonds in the velvet black sky.

Briefly Garrus wondered if this was the view Shepard saw before she passed into the void. Shaking the thought from his head, he rose and snagged his helmet from the seat before approaching Shepard.

"Shepard? Are you ready?"

Shepard lifted her gaze from her helmet to Garrus, rising slowly as she did so. As she nodded, the woman who had saved the galaxy seemed so fragile that the Turian instinctively placed a talon on her shoulder. "Shepard, if you want to go alone, I'll understand…"

"No." Her voice, usually solid and unwavering, trembled for only an instant. Pausing, she nodded. "No, I want you with me. We need to do this…you need to see. I need to see."

The pair donned their helmets and stepped into the snow. For someone who had grown up on a planet with almost year-round summer, the snow was an unusual phenomenon for the Turain. It crunched underfoot, the little white flakes crusting the soles of his boots as Garrus followed Shepard.

Shepard paused just inside a tube of metal, her boots clanking a little on the steel floor underfoot. Behind, Garrus nearly ran into her she had stopped so abruptly. Before he could ask what was wrong, a glimmer caught his eye up ahead. Slowly, oh so slowly Shepard approached the glint, stooping gingerly to pick it up.

"What is it?"

Silently, Shepard extended her palm towards Garrus so he could see for himself. In her palm lay two flat pieces of metal, human script stamped into their surface. Two and a half years ago, Garrus had seen these around the necks of each human crew member aboard the Normandy. Shepard had called them…

"Dog tags." Her voice was flat, but the Turian could sense emotion boiling beneath the calm. "Hackett said there are twenty crew members unaccounted for…their tags might be here and we should be on the lookout for them. Come on."

The pair made their way to the front of the metal tube, pausing right behind a very familiar pilots chair. In his mind, Garrus could still see Joker sitting in the chair, making snide remarks about the council or whoever had pissed off the Commander lately. Shepard, however, had rooted her gaze off to the side, at the gaping hole where the escape pod had once been. The last thing she had clung to aboard the ship before being flung into the vacuum of space.

As if in a dream, she stepped through, collecting a few more dog tags as she walked towards a familiar steel gray outline. Despite the gravity of what they were doing, Garrus had to laugh.

Rising above the ground, the Mako was firmly lodged in a hunk of ice. The vehicle had been dropped from the Normandy too many times to count, shot through a Mass Relay, and now it had been brought down by a hunk of ice. Shepard approached reverently, laying a hand on the cool metal. So many good memories had been made around this vehicle…Garrus could recall talking with Shepard about their families, about the mission, about everything. And of course Shepard's driving shenanigans, which still gave former crewmates a jolt of terror.

"D'you think Miranda would let us take it with us?"

The question was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, but Garrus found himself half-hoping Shepard would say yes. With a small smile, Shepard shook her helmeted head. "No…besides, I think we should leave it here. Just as it is."

Silence settled around the two as they trudged off in search of more dog tags. In a way, leaving the Mako behind felt like a huge step…it was leaving behind what their relationship had been and moving forward. Back then, Shepard had always been a teacher to Garrus, but now they felt more like equals in combat.

Pausing near a jumbled heap of scrap, Garrus stared off to the horizon, where more silver clouds were gathering. The sky above still remained clear, but an arctic breeze seemed to blow straight through his armor. "Looks like a storm is rolling in."

But Shepard wasn't listening. Her gaze was locked on what Garrus had mistaken for a pile of scrap. As she ascended the ramp, the Turian realized his mistake; this was no scrap, this was the remains of the galaxy map where Shepard had plotted their course across the universe. The image of Shepard silhouetted against the brilliant starry sky, perched atop the wreckage of her old ship was heartbreaking. For a long time, she was still, her face turned upwards to the thousands of stars while they beamed down on the pair.

"Ash…Ashley would have loved the view here."

In Garrus's chest, his heart clenched tightly. She had died, and yet Shepard still remembered and mourned the woman she had sent to die on Virmire. If there were a more selfless person in the galaxy, Garrus Vakarian had yet to meet them. Extending a hand to help Shepard down from the wreckage, he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I'm sure that Ashley is watching over us wherever she is. And I think…I think she'd be happy with what you're doing."

With a quick little hop-skip, Shepard came down from where she had been standing. This seemed to put her at ease a little bit, but her smile was still tinged with sadness. "Yes…I think so."

Up a small rise, Shepard paused again, something dark sticking out of the snow like an ancient cannonball. Of course it wasn't a cannonball, Garrus knew what it was even before Shepard extracted it from the snow. Her old helmet was charred straight black and damaged quite badly. Where the visor had been, only a few shards of the obsidian glass remained, almost indistinguishable from the metal it rested in. With a sickening realization, Garrus abruptly thought that it had to have come off some time during Shepard's fall through the atmosphere and she had landed without anything to protect her head. And if she had managed to land with it on, the glass surely would have shattered inwards, slicing apart her face and eyes.

"Would you like to hold it?"

The question shocked Garrus out of his stupor and he tore his gaze from the helmet. Shepard held out the helmet, her face open and honest. Tentatively, Garrus took it in his talons, surprised at how light it was. This was the only thing protecting Shepard from a shot in the head?

Something must have revealed how awed Garrus was, because Shepard gave a soft chuckle before gently tugging the helmet out of the Turian's grip. The pair walked on as the wind picked up and whipped little gusts of snow around their legs. Neither spoke, but they moved as one towards the largest piece of the ship at the very edge of the landing site. In bold white letters against the navy blue metal, the name Normandy could still be seen. At the base, something glittered in the starlight.

Shepard bent to pick up the tags while Garrus looked on, confused. "I thought you said there were only twenty tags we had to collect. Only twenty crew members unaccounted for."

She rose, her voice choked. "There are…but until quite recently, there were twenty one unaccounted for."

Realization struck with the force of a charging Krogan when Garrus stared at the name stamped on the tags. Of course…how could he have forgotten so easily? Above the rank and blood type, in typical Alliance script was printed the name Erin Shepard.

Without really thinking, Garrus reached out, wrapping his hand around Erin's. She made no move to take her gaze from the wreckage of her beloved Normandy, but her fingers tightened around his all the same. How long they stood there, gazing at what had been home, neither of them knew. Garrus simply stood still, a wave of peace and acceptance finally washing over him. After two and a half years of wondering, waiting, and anguish, he was standing here with the one woman he thought he'd lost so long ago. Seasons had changed, the world turned and moved on, and just like always, life had found a way to bring the two back together.

A quick little squeeze of the hand signaled that Shepard was ready to leave. Silently, she looked up at Garrus, who looked down at her. Briefly, he wondered when he had become taller than her before nodding.

The pair walked slowly and reverently through the ruins of their old home, the twisted metal watching silently as they strode back to their shuttle, hands intertwined the whole time.


	31. Can You Feel The Love Tonight

Inspired by Elton John's "Can You Feel The Love Tonight"

Ok, so you can really listen to any version of the song you like, but that's the version I listened to. And I can almost hear a bunch of you saying "FINALLY!"

* * *

_**Can You Feel The Love Tonight  
**_

Dextro amino based life is not compatible with levo amino based life. This is a simple, biological fact that is widely known through the galaxy. At best, eating food of the wrong type could give you a pretty severe allergic reaction. At worst, it'll kill you.

As a child, Garrus had once gotten a hold of some levo amino based food and ate it simply because his father told him not to. He'd spent a week in the hospital with a pretty bad reaction and learned that lesson quickly. The two just didn't mix and when they did, the consequences were dire.

Which brings us to the present, where the Turian in question lay on his bunk, continually chasing that thought in his head. Outside the main battery, the usual bustle of the crew had given way to a soft murmur from the engines. Even so, that seemed far from his mind.

Angrily, Garrus sighed and lifted his hand before his eyes. Hours after returning from Alchera, the talons still tingled with the warm from where Shepard had taken his hand with her own. Why? Why did he have to feel this way about her? His heart fluttered when he thought about the way her hand fit into his.

In the back of Garrus's mind, he could hear a stern little voice that sounded horribly similar to his father's. Now it spoke up, a note of disapproval coloring the words.

_You know that she's levo amino based. She's human. It will never work._

Groaning, the poor sniper rolled onto his side. Looks like there wouldn't be much sleep to be had in the Main Battery tonight. Sure, they were different amino acids. They would never be able to share any food aside from water. He could never take her out to dinner or on a date…

Date? He sat bolt upright, ice blue eyes wide. When did it come to dating? He hadn't even considered dating anyone since…meeting Shepard. But that was because they'd been chasing after Seren! It wasn't like there were a ton of options for dating while chasing down Geth, right? But even afterwards, when he wasn't aboard the Normandy, there had been a few Turian women who expressed interest. Why hadn't he taken them out? Sure, spectre training had been hard, but there had always been time to go out if he wanted to.

No, that wasn't it. It had been Shepard. She had changed him, refocused his whole life. The fiery human brunette had become more than a commander or teacher; she had become his best friend. When she'd died, it was as if his world went spinning its axis and all the stars went dark. To have her back…

Burying his face in his hands, Garrus couldn't believe it. How could this have happened? Why hadn't he seen it sooner? When did it start? It had been long before now, that was for sure. And it had been long before he'd gone out and filled her room with Turian flowers. Hell, if he had to guess, it would have had to be the moment they met. It had been everything about Shepard…her smile, her laugh, her spirit…it was everything he'd never found in a Turian woman.

He wasn't attracted to humans, that was a certainty. But this…this feeling…it was more than just physical attraction. It was deeper…something that made him want to put aside everything he'd ever had just to stand at her side.

A soft tap on the door jerked Garrus from his thoughts. Fumbling with a shirt, he yanked it over his head before opening the door. Who would be coming to visit this late at night? He should have known before the door opened.

Erin Shepard stood before Garrus, two thermoses and a pair of mugs in her arms. After a short pause, she smiled, offering the goods in her arms. "Hey, sorry to disturb you, but I thought you might be awake and a drink is something best shared…."

"Oh, yeah, of course, come in…" Stepping aside, Garrus tried to push the clutter off to the side to make room for Shepard to sit. With a soft chuckle, Shepard used her biotics to move a crate between the pair. Using it as a table, she deposited her bounty.

Taking his seat across from him, Garrus eyed the two thermoses. "That's a lot of coco just for you."

"Of course it's not all for me," Shepard scoffed, her eyes sparkling, "One is for you. Gardner was really helpful and found this Turian recipe for something sort of similar to hot coco, so I thought I'd bring you some."

With a swift movement, Shepard snatched up the silver container, shook it quickly before pouring a tan-pink liquid into one of the cups. It had the consistency of a milkshake that had been slightly melted, but smelled of spices and nuts almost. Tentatively, Garrus took a sip and found that it was very good, warming him from the inside out. His gaze met Shepard's expectant look, her eyebrows arched upwards.

The Turian nodded, his ice blue eyes brightening. "It's good. Thank you Shepard."

This seemed to ease the Commander's mind, since she seemed to relax, her smile becoming a little less tense. "I'm glad you like it. But what are you doing up this late?"

Garrus sputtered a little bit before he managed to swallow a mouthful of his drink. "Me? Oh, I, uh, couldn't get to sleep. What are you doing up? Nightmares?"

Erin's laugh was relieved, but tired sounding as she cradled her own mug. "No, thank god for that. I just had too much on my mind…going down to the wreckage today really has made me think."

She leaned forward, her blue eyes unfocused as she spoke softly, almost hesitantly. "I lost my crew that day…I'm still feeling the repercussions of that day. Two and a half years later and I shouldn't be here…alive. And yet, I'm here. Plenty of people didn't make it off the Normandy and out of all of them, I'm the one who gets a second chance."

"A second chance with a lot of strings attached." Garrus murmured, his voice harmonizing with the hum of the engines below. "But it's a chance nonetheless."

Chuckling, Shepard raised her mug. "I'll drink to that. To second chances and not wasting them this time around."

Gently Garrus knocked his mug against Shepard's, careful to make sure there was no cross-contamination of their drinks. "Hear hear. I only hope that taking out the Collectors is considered not wasting your second chance."

Shepard took a moment to sip her coco before answering, her smile softened. "Well, I got to see you again. And Tali. I think that's worth it."

In the following silence, Garrus found himself studying the woman seated across from him. Shepard was no Turian, but he found that he couldn't care less. Her laughter was like the human wind chimes he had seen once on the Citadel, and her eyes were such a brilliant ocean blue that he'd never found in any other species. Erin's skin was soft and pale like the ivory trinkets that he'd seen Asari fawning over in stores, unlike the hard plates that covered his own leathery hide.

Garrus Vakarian understood that he would never be able to share the same food with Shepard, but he found that he couldn't care less. Sitting across from her late at night while sipping drinks in the bowels of the ship, the Turian sniper finally allowed himself to admit what his subconscious had known for two and a half years.

_I love you._


	32. Gravity

Inspired by Sara Bareilles's "Gravity"

* * *

**_Gravity_**

Albert Einstein once said that gravity was not responsible for people falling in love.

Albert Einstein had obviously never met Garrus Vakarian, thought Commander Shepard.

It wasn't as if she had tried to fall for him, it had just…happened. Like a satellite with a slowly decaying orbit, Shepard had simply drifted into Garrus without realizing she had done it. He was her friend, her unofficial second in command, her partner, the one who knew Shepard despite her tough exterior.

Beyond all the weapons and armor was an actual person that often got overlooked when people looked to their savior. A woman, in fact. A woman who now lay staring at the ceiling, wondering how in the world it had come to this.

Rolling over onto her stomach, Shepard groaned and pulled the blankets up over her head. She had tried to sleep after returning from Alchera physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but now her thoughts would not let her sleep. He had held her hand….silently, as if he knew she needed the support, the Turian had held her hand. Neither one mentioned it, but it had happened, there was no denying it.

The brunette glared at her night stand, trying to come to terms with what was happening to her body. Of course she was smart enough to know that it was all based on hormones and chemicals but there was something more to it. There was an attachment…one she hadn't intended to form, but it was there all the same. Shepard had always fancied herself strong, but when Garrus was near, it was as if he took all her fragile strength right out of her.

Erin Shepard sighed again. She had never intended to fall in love with a Turian. Rolling onto her back, Shepard chewed her lower lip. But then again, she kept likening Garrus to gravity, an inexplicable force that pulled her in without her knowing…he kept her close with the slightest touch, kept her grounded, allowed Shepard a constant. In truth, she never knew how much she needed that constant until it had been torn away from her two and a half years ago.

How? How had Garrus become everything Shepard wanted or needed? When had he changed from best friend to something more? Shepard angrily threw aside the blankets, fairly resigned to the idea that she would not be sleeping tonight. Taking only a moment to adjust her pajamas, Shepard let her feet carry her towards the elevator, unconsciously already knowing where she was headed.

In bare feet, the floor was cool but it was almost refreshing as Shepard stepped off the elevator and into the Crew Deck. As if half asleep, Shepard began to drift towards the main battery, only to be stopped by Gardner.

"Commander!" The cook waved her over with a tired smile. "I'd like to thank you again for picking up those supplies for me on the Citadel."

Shepard waved this off with a quick movement of her hand. "Oh, it was no trouble at all. Is there anything else you need?"

Chuckling, the chef shook his head. "No, but I thought I'd repay you…here."

He pushed two thermoses across the counter towards her along with two mugs. Upon seeing the confused look the Commander wore, Gardner explained. "One is hot chocolate – I overheard you saying it's a favorite – and the other is sort of the Turian version of it. You go to visit Officer Vakarian so much it might be nice to take him something once in a while."

If Gardner noticed the pink flush that painted itself across Shepard's face, he was kind enough not to mention it while she gathered the drinks, mumbling a thank you. Practically skipping up the stairs towards the Main Battery, Shepard almost laughed. He truly was like gravity…he kept pulling her back here no matter what she thought she was going to do otherwise.

She paused before the doors, taking a moment to collect herself before knocking softly. Okay, so what if she did care for Garrus as more than a friend? What was she going to do about it? The answer presented itself so clearly it was almost laughable how she hadn't seen it before. Erin Shepard had died, there was no two ways around that, but by some twist of fate, she had been brought back. She, unlike so many other people in the universe, had been given a second chance at life…so now was the time to use it.

The doors to the Main Battery opened, revealing a slightly frazzled looking Turian who blinked down at Shepard, a little stunned. Erin had never seen her friend like this and the sight made her breath catch for a moment. Finally, she smiled, offering her bounty. "Hey, sorry to disturb you, but I thought you might be awake and a drink is something best shared…"

And he let her in. Without questions, without demanding anything in return, Garrus Vakarian allowed Shepard into his room at almost two in the morning for drinks and some stories between old friends. They talked and laughed and as Garrus told stories in that melodious voice of his, Shepard watched and smiled silently. It would still be some time before she would consciously think it, but her heart was already miles ahead of her.

_I love you_.


	33. The Way I Loved You

Inspired by Taylor Swift's "The Way I Love You"

* * *

_**The Way I Loved You  
**_

Logic said that the doors to the main battery made the same noise no matter who was coming through them. Garrus Vakarian knew this, but still he could almost tell when Shepard was coming to visit. Turning, he gave a small grin. "Shepard. Need me for something?"

The brunette smiled, her bright blue eyes glittering in the dim light. It was the first time she'd been to visit him in the main battery since they'd gone to track down Sidonis. Shrugging, she motioned with her hand a little. "Got a minute to talk?"

With an offhand wave towards the crate stacked at the right side of the space, Garrus nodded. "Sure. Just killing time anyway. I wanted to thank you again for your help with Sidonis."

He took a deep breath in an attempt to gather his thoughts. It had taken a lot of control and some time, but he knew that shooting the other Turian wouldn't have made him feel any better. He was lucky the Commander knew him better than he knew himself. Nodding a little, Garrus studied his commander as she settled in. "Whatever happens with the Collectors or the Reapers or whoever else comes after us…I know you'll get the job done."

Erin raised an eyebrow in the human way Garrus knew to mean she was confused. "Whoever else? You actually think we'll find something worse than Collectors and Reapers?"

With his usual humor, Garrus shrugged. "I like to expect the worse…there's a chance I could be pleasantly surprised."

Speaking of pleasant surprises… Shepard smiled, twining her fingers together. "I couldn't have done this without you Garrus."

Suppressing a laugh, Garrus shifted on his feet. "Sure you could! Not as stylishly of course..."

Taking a second to enjoy the flush of pink that had abruptly painted itself across his commanding officer's face, the Turian couldn't help but grin. Humans were so strange in the way the expressed themselves, and one of the most confusing things for Garrus was blushing. Still, he enjoyed the shade of pink on his commander's cheeks. "It's strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. You people don't prepare for high risk operations the same way Turians do."

A smirk twitched at the corners of Shepard's mouth. "I thought you'd be used to high risk operations on human ships. I mean, think about tracking Saren to Ilos."

"Sure, but that was quick. We raced out, blew up some Geth, and saved the galaxy. This time we've got Miranda and Cerberus and that AI telling us what we're up against. I think I preferred blind optimism." The disdain with which the Turian said the word 'Cerberus' was hard to miss.

Shepard settled back, the mask of commander taking over for a moment. "Honestly Garrus, what do you think our chances are?"

"Honestly?" Surprise could not be kept out of Garrus's voice, but he went on. "The Collectors killed you once and all it did was piss you off. I can't imagine they'll stop you this time. But an unmapped area, advanced technology, and the Collectors? We're going to lose people, no way around that."

As if embarrassed, Garrus stared at the floor. "Not a happy analysis, I know. Don't worry, I won't spread it around. And I'm with you, regardless."

If Shepard's grin was any indicator, that meant more to her than a whole army of Krogan at her back. "Garrus, do you ever regret leaving C-Sec or the Turian military for this?"

Garrus took only a moment to think about it before deciding that the question was almost laughable. "Not for a minute. When it comes down to it Shepard, I don't think I'm a very good Turian. See, when a good Turian hears a bad order, he follows it. He might complain, but he knows his place. Me? I just don't see the point of staying quiet and polite. Not when the galaxy is at stake."

"So how do Turian crews get ready for high risk operations?"

Shepard was leaning forward, curiosity painted across her features. Lacing his talons together behind his back, Garrus couldn't help himself. That was one of the best parts about Shepard…she was always willing to learn about other cultures and races, no matter how different they were. Although he could have sworn she would have forgotten about this only a moment before…"With violence usually. Turian ships have more operational discipline than your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions. Our commanders run us tight, and they know we need to blow off steam."

Thinking back, Garrus tried to recall everything that was available for a stressed out crew on some of his old ships. "Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress."

"Wait," Erin's brow was knitted together, a sign Garrus had learned meant she was confused. "Turian ships have crewmembers fighting each other before a mission?"

Holding up his hands, Garrus abruptly realized how that must sound to a non-Turian. "It's supervised of course. Nobody's going to risk an injury that interferes with the mission and it's a good way to settle grudges amicably. I remember right before this one mission…we were about to hit a Batarian pirate squad. Very risky."

Turning away, he began to pace. "This recon scout and I had been at each other's throats; nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring."

With something of a smug grin, Erin blinked up at the Turian. "I assume you took her down gently?"

Garrus couldn't help but feel a little proud that the Commander considered him that strong. Still, he shifted from foot to foot, a little embarrassed."Actually we were the top ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility."

Turning to face the still open door, Garrus swallowed hard. He knew exactly where this story was going, and for some reason, he didn't feel right telling Shepard. Not because he hadn't told it to other Turians before, but because she was…well, she was Shepard. Still, he continued because he knew she wouldn't stop till she had the full story. "It was brutal. After nine rounds the judge called it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training rooms."

Pausing for only a moment, he continued, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice. "We ah, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility."

He spun on the spot to face Shepard, doing his very best to remain casual. "More than one way to work off stress I guess."

The silence that fell across the main battery was only permeated by the constant hum of machines. Watching Shepard closely, Garrus felt hypersensitive to the environment. It was so difficult to tell what she was thinking sometimes…the way she looked down and shook her head now, what did that mean? Was she mad? Would she dislike him? Certainly he'd had his fair share of 'tension relief' with other Turians, but was that common among humans? And even if it was, how did he let her know that she was more than just tension relief? Shepard was his best friend…and as much as he had tried to deny it, she was so much more than that. Erin Shepard would never fit the definition of a perfect human woman or Turian mate, but that hadn't stopped Garrus in the slightest. As she readjusted herself on the crate, Garrus took a few steps back towards the calibration station, almost trying to brace himself for whatever answer he got.

Placing her hands on her knees, the commander stood, a strange glint entering her eyes. "Sounds like you're carrying some tension…maybe I can help you get rid of it."

Garrus couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. As she settled back, crossing her arms over his chest, he stumbled for words. "I, ah, didn't think you'd feel like sparring commander."

The briefest of smiles flitted across her face before she moved towards him, a determined look settling into the commander's face. "What if we skipped right to the tiebreaker? We could test your reach…"

Backing out of her way, Garrus stared in open awe as she settled herself against his main console, her gaze daring him to come closer. "…and my flexibility."

It was everything he could do not to gape. Was she seriously suggesting this? Realizing that Shepard probably wanted an answer, he swallowed. "Oh! I didn't…huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars."

The blue eyed Turian composed himself, trying to ignore the fact that he was going against about every rule his father had ever instilled in him. Turning to look out into the hall leading to the main battery, the Turian attempted to keep the warring emotions out of his voice. "Well, why the hell not? There's no one in this galaxy I respect more than you."

Turning, he gazed at his commander - his best friend - as she stared at him. "And if we can find a way to make it work then…yeah, definitely."

Without another word, Erin Shepard pushed herself off the console and moved past Garrus, her fingers brushing the tips of his talons for only a heartbeat before the door closed, leaving one very confused Turian behind her.


	34. Shut Up And Kiss Me

Inspired by Orianthi's "Shut Up and Kiss Me"

Lol, ship gossip and a love triangle. Oh you.

* * *

_**Shut Up And Kiss Me**_

Here she was again, Shepard had sought Garrus out, her bright blue eyes shining and happy. Still, Garrus had to speak. Quickly he closed the doors behind them, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "Yeah…I've been thinking about what we talked about. Blowing off steam….easing tension. I've never considered cross-species intercourse…and damn, saying it that way doesn't help. Now I feel dirty and clinical…Are we crazy to be even thinking about this? I'm not…"

The Turian sighed heavily, not quite wanting to continue, but as always, his body reacted before his brain did.

"Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home." The words had escaped Garrus's mouth before he could stop himself.

She had come to him, seemingly asking for something, but the Turian couldn't shake the feeling that she was just leading him on. He needed to give her an out…a way to leave him that wouldn't make her feel guilty. It wasn't that Garrus didn't want what she was suggesting, of course not, but it just seemed too good to be true.

To her credit, Shepard looked shocked for only a moment before she shook her head. "I don't want something 'closer to home.' I want you. I want someone I can trust."

Oh Spirits. For a moment, Garrus's heart seemed to stutter before resuming it's normal rhythm. She really wanted to do this…with him. Slowly, he nodded. "I can do that…I'll find some music, do some research and figure out how this thing should work. It'll either be a night to treasure or a horrible interspecies awkwardness thing. In which case, fighting the Collectors will be a welcome distraction, so you know, a win either way."

A look of worry flitted across Erin's face as she reached out to rest her hand on Garrus's shoulder. "You know Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's ok. I'm not trying to pressure you."

She was worried about pressuring him? The idea was so redicculous that Garrus nearly laughed, but when he went to meet her gaze, something happened.

For the first time he could remember, Shepard averted her gaze from his. In the past, she would stare him down for days but now she could hardly look him in the eye. The gesture was simple and almost undetectable, but it spoke volumes. Shaking his head, Garrus finally caught her eye.

"Shepard, you're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed up galaxy. I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans…but this isn't about that. This is about us." He deepend the gaze, just to make sure she understood. "You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes…but never uncomfortable."

The brunette commander beamed, gently removing her hand from his shoulder as she did so. "So when should I book the room?"

"I'd wait, if you're okay with it. Disrupt the crew as little as possible and then take that last chance to find some calm right before the storm." He couldn't believe they were actually discussing this. "You know me, I like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink."

Cue long silence. Garrus twitched his mandibles, trying to read the expression on Shepard's face before realizing what he'd just said. "Wait…that metaphor just went somewhere _terrible_…"

Barely holding in laughter, Shepard began to back out of the main battery, a grin still etched into her features. "I'll let you get back to work."

"Right…Because I'm in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now…"

As soon as the doors to the main battery closed behind her, Shepard moved swiftly across the mess hall, unaware that she was being studied. Jack leaned against Gardner's table, chuckling wickedly. "Well shit. Shoulda seen that one coming."

"Seen _what_ coming?"

The dark haired Cerberus operative had emerged from her office for a cup of coffee before returning to her reports. As Miranda approached, she watched the Commander's form disappear around the corner to the elevator.

Jack tossed the other woman a scorching glare. "She's always down here for that raptor and did you just see the look on her face? If she's not in love with him, I'll take Grunt on the mess table."

Leave it to the bald biotic to make her point in the least tactful way possible. Ignoring Gardner's protests of sex on the table, Miranda nearly choked on her coffee. "Surely you're kidding."

Still, the dark haired woman had to admit that there was something to that. Shepard always took Garrus wherever they went and when they weren't on a mission, the pair was almost inseparable. And from the glimpse of the Commander's face, she had been positively beaming. As she returned to her coffee, the Cerberus operative shook her head incredulously.

* * *

In the bowels of the ship, Tali took a break in her normal work to attend to a message she had just received on her Omni Tool. She and Kal'Reegar had been in contact most every day since her trial, which made the Quarian hopeful about the future of the relationship. As she stepped back from the console, the lilac clad woman couldn't help but overhear the humans working only a few feet away.

"So did you hear about the Commander?"

"What about her Gabbi?"

"I hear she's got a thing for the Turian in the main battery."

THAT caught Tali's attention. Her head swiveled sharply in their direction. "What, Shepard and Garrus?"

Donnelly nodded, his heavy Scottish accent charming in its own way. "According to Jack she's been sighted as going in there all the time and when she comes out she is, and I quote, 'grinning like a damn fool.'"

To the humans surprise, Tali squealed happily, clasping her hands together. "Keelah, that's great! They would be wonderful together!"

Leave it to Donnelly and Gabbi to smell good gossp from a miile away. The pair exchanged a sly glance before Gabbi smirked. "Really?"

Behind the visor, Tali flushed as though she had said too much and reined herself in. "Well, I think so. They've been best friends since we were hunting Saren, so this just seems natural. I mean, the scuttlebutt on the SR1 was that Garrus was madly in love with her anyway."

The engines hummed peacefully as the trio chattered together happily, the first real conversation they had been able to have that wasn't laced with tension.

* * *

"…so I hear they're madly in love!"

Thane had perfected the art of listening in on conversations he shouldn't hear – it was an essential skill as an assassin after all – but this took him a little by surprise. Tilting his head in the direction of the conversation, his keen eyes caught the human woman from engineering cheerily sitting with Yeoman Chambers. The pair giggled before Gabbi stood and left, giving the assassin a chance to move in.

He slid into the spot she had occupied only moments before, his deep emerald eyes locking onto Kelly. "I am sorry to intrude, but I couldn't help but overhear. Who were you just discussing?"

The redheaded psychologist flushed, fumbling over her words a little. "Oh, it's nothing really, I mean, just a little gossip that's been going around…"

"This will not get back to Shepard, if that is what you are concerned about."

Something in his almost melodic voice seemed to convince Kelly that he was a man of his word. Eagerly, she leaned over the table and bubbled the tale that had been circulating the Normandy in the few short hours after Shepard had left Garrus in the Main Battery. It had grown from a simple case of 'perhaps they like each other' to a full blown romance that was not meant to be due to Alliance regulations and species boundaries but damn it all, they were in love.

As the woman across from him chattered on, Thane was silent. To hear this was something of a blow to the assassin…it had been almost a decade since he had lost his wife but when Shepard came barging in, something had changed…reawaken almost. She was his _siha_, a warrior angel of the highest caliber. This was a connection he hadn't had since his wife and he hadn't intended to let it slip away but…

_Blue eyes sparkle in the overhead lights. _

_She smiles, her face alight with a dusty rose blush._

"_He's my best friend. It means everything that he's here."_

It took everything for the Drell to pull himself out of the memory. Never had he seen the commander so happy as when she was talking about her Turian friend. Of course there were the typical barriers; the amino acids, physical challenges, social acceptance among them. But like Shepard had always said, nobody called her for an easy job.

So it would seem her heart followed the same logic.

"Thane? Are you all right?"

With a quick shake of his head, Thane stood, his gaze locked on the door to the Main Battery. "Yes. Thank you for that information Miss Chambers. If you'll excuse me…"

* * *

Just as he had feared, Garrus was struggling to get ANY work done after Shepard had left. It wasn't the fact that the conversation kept playing itself over and over in his head – though that didn't hurt – but it had been something in Shepard's tone that kept distracting the Turian. It wasn't a tone of 'let's just release some tension' but something more….if only he could place it.

Behind him, the doors hissed opne. "Shepard. Need me for-"

The words died in Garrus's throat as he turned to find himself face to face with the Drell assassin he had considered his rival for so long. Thane's iridescent green skin took on a warm rose tone in the lighting from the main battery but his obsidian eyes never left the Turian.

"You love her."

It wasn't a question, but Garrus figured it'd be easier to treat it as one. Slowly, he nodded, his heart fluttering as he thought about it. "Yeah. I do."

This idea seemed to strike the Drell as either mildly amusing or thought provoking, since he took a long pause to think before speaking again. "You two are a disaster."

Garrus made a move to object, but the Drell held up a hand to stop him as he continued on. "You are rash. She is a force that cannot be tamed. You both are different down to your amino acids. And yet…she has chosen you."

To hear it put like that was almost an insult with a compliment at the end. Already on edge, Garrus eyed the Drell. "What are you saying?"

Deep emerald eyes met ice blue. The contrast in the dim light was startling, but neither sniper flinched. Thane spoke softly, his voice almost blending in with the hum from the guns. "Shepard is an incredible woman."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Thane's mouth twitched into the smallest of smiles. "Shepard is a woman of the highest caliber. She is indeed a true _siha_."

Blinking rapidly, Garrus fluttered his mandibles as he tried to comprehend the word. "I'm sorry, Shepard is a what?"

"A siha. One of the warrior angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath." He hesitated only a moment before going on. "A tenacious protector."

Garrus inhaled sharply, realizing the implications of what Thane was implying. He'd always suspected the assassin had something for the commander, but now…hearing it…he wasn't quite sure what to do. If it came to blows, he wasn't sure he'd come out alive. Both were skilled snipers and all around soldiers but Thane had the advantage of biotics.

Before Garrus could even begin to compose his thoughts Thane pressed on. "I must confess, I have come to care for Shepard. But I must also confess that I have never seen anyone more attached to someone than she is to you. Truly, she is a fearsome protector of that which she values most…you."

The stunned silence that followed had Garrus at a complete loss for words. He knew Shepard would always watch his back, but to hear it like this…Slowly he leveled his gaze at Thane with a measure of respect. "T-Thank you."

With a little half bow, Thane smirked. "Shepard is truly a prize. See to it that you take exceptional care of her."

"I will." Garrus truly did mean it. No matter what, he would keep Shepard safe and happy.

Turning to leave, Thane glanced over his shoulder. "However, should you hurt her in any way, I will not hesitate to step in."

Once more ice blue eyes locked with emerald. "I won't hurt her. I would never hurt her."

"Good."

And then he was gone, leaving Garrus more confused and distracted than before.


	35. 1, 2, 3, 4

Inspired by Plain White T's "1, 2, 3, 4"

Sorry for the delay. Dedicated to the man in my life. He knows who he is.

* * *

_**1, 2, 3, 4**_

Erin Shepard did not believe in revenge. She felt it was an ugly emotion that took over and clouded your judgment. That wasn't to say she hadn't wanted revenge on many different parties for whatever reason, but logic had always won out.

Not this time.

This time, it wasn't just her. It wasn't a freak accident involving a Thresher Maw that killed her whole team. It wasn't even an accident because they had no idea what they were facing. No, this time her whole crew was taken and there was no stopping her from taking apart the whole universe to get them back.

In much less eloquent terms, the Collectors and Reapers could go screw themselves with a rusty spoon; She was coming and she was coming PISSED OFF.

Angrily the brunette commander slammed her closet closed, giving up on the idea of finding something nicer to wear. It was madness really. And not just the idea of her wearing something nice. It was really just the idea that right now they were hurling themselves into the unmapped Omega Four relay which most likely lead to certain death and –failing that – horrible Collector abominations.

But the fact that Garrus was coming up tonight didn't help to ease her stress at all.

With a heavy sigh, Shepard rested her forehead against the cool metal wall, clear blue eyes closed. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Mordin was telling her about all the dangers involved with becoming romantically involved with any dextro – amino based life and it took a lot for her to block it out. Not because the Salarian was awkward beyond all measure, but because on a much more basic level, she just didn't care.

Well, she did, but she didn't.

Erin Shepard damn well knew the risks involved with courting a Turian. Allergic reactions, culture barriers, physical differences just to name a few. On more than one occasion since her revelation Shepard had considered backing out of this, but one look into the Turian's baby blues changed her mind completely. It wasn't just that he was her best friend, it was that he had become so much more than that. He was a confidant, her second in command, someone she could go to whenever for whatever reason.

Groaning, the human straightened and moved towards the bathroom. What she needed was a shower to clear her head. As the commander entered the privacy of her washroom, she sighed happily. Aboard the first Normandy water had been used sparingly and cold showers were more the norm so as to conserve the water for drinking. Cerberus had upgraded the filtrations systems for the water so that they had enough fresh water for several months and it could be heated more easily by passing it straight past the drive core.

Long story short, hot bath water was available as well as drinking water.

Still, Shepard couldn't shake Garrus from her mind. He meant a lot to her…more than she had previously realized and to be honest, that fact kinda scared the usually fearless human. What if he decided she wasn't what he wanted and left. Lord knew what she would do then. The realization was slowly dawning that she didn't just want him to be around for one night, but for a long time.

With a flick of her wrist Shepard shut off the water and dressed in her usual clothes, composing her confession to Garrus. No matter how the usually silver tongued commander tried, nothing seemed to come out right. She rubbed at her hair as she emerged from the bathroom only to realize that standing in her foyer was the very Turian she had been thinking about.

To his credit, Garrus had dressed up as much as he could and seemed relatively at ease. In one hand he held a bottle of what she presumed to be alcohol of some sort. As opposed to his usual armor he wore blue and green civvies which were very striking in the Commander's opinion. Silence hummed between the pair before he spoke, his voice melodious.

"Hey. I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante's salary…"

Erin crossed her arms, a smirk playing across her face. Had he really gone and bought a bottle of wine for the occasion? And if so, who was it for, him or her? She hardly had time to contemplate it before he dashed over to her wall console to activate some music. It took a moment for her to recognize the odd beats and rhythms from Flux. He had remembered she commented on it one time and decided to bring it with for tonight.

He turned to face her, bright eyes curious as she slowly approached. "If you were a Turian I would be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So your hair looks…nice and your waist is…very supportive."

Both paused, Shepard grinning and Garrus slightly embarrassed. "Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture….crap. I knew I should've watched the vids…Throw me a line here Shepard!"

In that moment, Shepard knew that he was the one for her. Even though they were attempting something never done before he didn't change what he was doing, he was the same as if he were asking her for an extra thermal clip. Nothing had or would change if they were a couple or not because to them it was just the next step in something that had been going on for a long while.

"Calm down Garrus." Shepard smirked happily, a gleam in her eyes. "You're worrying too much…and talking too much."

She hardly noticed the look on Garrus's face as she moved to turn off the music, the room once more filled with the bubbling of the fish tank on the wall. As the brunette turned back to Garrus, he sputtered for words, finally lowering his gaze.

"I just…I've seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. My work at C-sec, my team on Omega, what happened with Sidonis…"

As Shepard drew closer, she could see the concern and worry in his eyes as he went on. "I just want something to go right for once. Just this once. Just…"

Then her hand was on his cheek. The scarred flesh felt rough beneath the bandage and her fingers but still, she let her fingers trace the skin oh so lightly. In a moment, Turian eyes locked with human and each understood more clearly than ever what one meant to the other. A thousand words spoken in a touch that was no longer that of a friend, but that of a lover.

_You are the best part of me._

_ My life would suck without you in it._

_ I don't want anyone else but you._

_ You're my best friend._

_ I love you._

Without a word, the pair drew closer, foreheads brushing gently against each other as Garrus reached up to trail his talons lightly against her shoulder. Softly, Shepard chuckled and rubbed her forehead back and forth against Garrus's. The gesture wasn't a kiss, but somehow she understood the meaning.

"Did you ever think this would happen?"

As his talons made it to her hands, Shepard delicately slipped her fingers into his. Not quite pulling away, Garrus opened his eyes, searching her face. "Not in a thousand years…I thought it would be just a stupid crush. Did you?"

"Had you told me three years ago this would be happening, I'd have told them that they had lost their minds."

Garrus laughed, his mandibles fluttering as he did so. Playfully, he gripped Shepard's hands a little tighter as he led her backwards down the stairs towards the bed. As he did so, all thoughts of the mission flew from her head. Her hand still gripping his, Shepard playfully pushed Garrus backwards onto the bed.

He laughed, twitching his mandibles into what was clearly a Turian smile he pulled her down with her, quickly rolling so she was pinned under him, Garrus's eyes sparkled brightly. "No audience this time Commander."

Mischievously, Shepard extracted one of her hands and slipped it around his head, under the fringe where she could feel soft, leathery hide. "And what exactly do you plan to do with this advantage, Garrus?"

For a moment, their eyes locked. An unspoken question of trust zipped between them and the answer came just as quickly. It was so obvious that it had never been necessary to speak it. The feeling radiating from Garrus's chest seemed to hum in the air between them.

"Something that should've happened a long time ago, Erin."

And before he could say another word, she had pulled his face down to hers.


	36. Hey Soul Sister

Inspired by Train's "Hey Soul Sister"

* * *

_**Hey Soul Sister**_

Silence. It was a beautiful sound, broken only by the soft gurgles of the fishtank on the wall. Not that the occupants of the tank much cared as to what the occupants of the main room were up to.

Currently those occupants were tangled in the luxurious sheets that Cerberus had provided for the bed. It was hard to tell where Turian ended and where human began they were so twined together, a mess of limbs and cotton and fringe.

Garrus, for his part simply gazed at where Shepard's elegant fingers were tracing patterns on his chest, her touch feather light. What had happened wasn't exactly sex, but it certainly hadn't been simply blowing off steam either. Either way, it had been simply mind blowing.

For the longest time afterwards the pair had simply lain there, panting and laughing. It wasn't that what had happened was funny, it was more of a hysterical laugh…one that just happens for no reason. Garrus had continued to trace his talons oh so gently over Shepard's soft curves – he could never get over how soft and pink she was – while Shepard allowed her hands to glide over his plates.

Shepard paused in her patterns, her sparkling blue eyes meeting Garrus's. "You know, there's something I never figured out."

Only half listening, Garrus gently began to thread his talons through the mess that had become Shepard's straight mahogany locks. He gave a non committal hum as she continued.

"Do you remember all that time ago, when we stole the first Normandy?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Afterwards you and I were talking and something I said made you laugh…said that you would tell me what was so funny."

Now the Turian paused in his quest to untangle his commander's – mate? Girlfriend? What was she now? That was for later – hair to lock eyes with her. To her credit, Shepard was good. Not even death could stop her from remembering something that far back. "Shepa – Erin. Are you sure that you really want to know?"

Raising an eyebrow playfully, Erin reached around to the soft hide beneath his fringe, her fingers delicately forming little circles there. "Considering what just happened, I'm almost sure I have a right to know."

A tremor shot down Garrus's spine and for several moments he couldn't quite get his mouth to work properly. After aligning and realigning his mandibles he finally managed a few words. "Well, if you keep doing that I can't tell you now can I?"

She laughed, but stopped all the same, still keeping her hand near the fringe, her fingers just ghosting near the edges. Mentally Garrus made a note that while she didn't look it, the commander could be the biggest tease this side of the galaxy.

He shifted so that he was propped up more comfortably, taking the opportunity to snake his arm around Shepard's waist as he did so. "You told me that the right guy for you was out there, but you just hadn't met him yet. Remember that?"

Even before she had finished nodding the Turian kept going. "Well, right before I'd met you I had gone on one of the worst dates of my life. Absolutely horrible. And the day I met you I was telling one of my old co-workers that I was waiting for the right woman to come along…I just hadn't met her yet."

The commander seemed slightly stunned, her jaw dropping open a little bit. Gently, Garrus put a talon beneath it and snapped it closed as he went on, searching her face for some sign. "You used the same words as me…it was like you knew."

For the longest time the pair simply stared at each other. At long last Shepard pulled herself a little tighter against the Turian's warm body. "I guess we're just stuck with each other then."

"Yeah…" He trailed off, a twinge of sadness piercing the Turian's happy bubble. As much as he loved Shepard and as much as they had shared in the past hour there was a large part of him that believed this wouldn't last beyond the relay. Soon they would suit up and head into the Collector base and there was no telling who they would lose. Even if by some miracle they all lived the odds of this relationship continuing were incredibly low.

A soft giggle roused the Turian from his musings. Shepard had laid her head against his chest, right over his heart, but now she gazed up at him. "You purr."

Blinking, Garrus would have blushed if he had the capability. He knew he made a noise that humans considered to be a purr, but he hadn't counted on the commander noticing. "Are you okay with that?"

Slowly, Shepard raised herself so that her forehead brushed against his, her ocean blue eyes closed blissfully. "Absolutely. Besides, I happen to find the sound of your voice very…alluring."

Nuzzling back, Garrus sighed contentedly. "I could get used to this…"

The words were out before he could really stop himself. Momentarily Garrus wondered if there was enough time for him to sprint to the door to escape, damn the fact he was bare-ass naked and he didn't care who saw him. However, nothing could have prepared him for Shepard's reply.

"You should."

Abruptly pulling back, he gazed wide eyed at Erin, who was almost sitting in his lap at this point. Still mentally reeling, Garrus sputtered for words. "I-I'm sorry, what?"

A look of worry flitted across Shepard's face. "Unless you don't want…?"

The question trailed off and it occurred to Garrus that Shepard was still giving _him_ the option to leave _her_. As if that could ever happen! Shaking his head, he still felt like he was openly gawking at Shepard. "No, no, no, of course I want to!"

Across from him Shepard chewed her bottom lip. "Because if you're not sure we can just pretend this didn't happen and…"

"Shepard." Garrus was stern as he pulled her close so she was properly sitting in his lap, sheets still twined around the pair. "You don't understand. I want to be here. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. I'm just…what about the crew? What about the council?"

Erin laughed, her vanilla scent wafting around the pair and mixing with Garrus's Turian musk. "Damn the crew and damn the council. They don't have a say in who I date."

Blinking his ice blue eyes in surprise, Garrus reached over to wind his talons into her hair, tracing them gently over her cheek first. "Are you sure? We both know…"

"That I could find someone closer to home, yes, we've been over this. What you don't seem to understand is that at this point, leaving you is not an option for me. I like you Garrus. I don't care if you're Quarian or Hanar or Turian."

Gently, Shepard raised a hand to trace the cobalt blue tattoos that adorned Garrus's face. She didn't even flinch when she trailed into the rough scarring on the right side. "You remember so long ago that I promised to tell you why I picked you…I picked you because somehow, I knew you were special. I know that you were so much more than anyone else I'd ever met. I chose Garrus Vakarian over a thousand other people because deep down, before I even knew it, I knew that you were it for me. You were the best I was ever going to find."

Garrus felt his breath hitch in his throat and his heart do an awkward stutter-step before he could speak again. Slowly he slid a hand down Shepard's arm. "I'm not so good at this relationship stuff."

"Ask me how little I care." Shepard's voice was light with laughter, despite the serious topic.

"People aren't going to like this."

"Hang 'em. They don't have to."

The Turian couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief. "You know, I'm still not convinced I didn't die on Omega."

Tilting her head inquisitively, Shepard pouted a little. "Oh really? Why?"

It took everything for the ex-vigilante not to laugh. She didn't know. She honestly didn't know? "I lived through a missile to the face, my best friend returns from the dead and takes me on a wild mission across the galaxy and I win over the most incredible woman in the universe? That sounds like heaven to me."

Shepard laughed, a free and light sound that filled the loft completely. "How do you think I feel? I return from the dead, discover my best friend is alive and he feels the same way about me? I think Cerberus just left me dead and we're in the same little bit of heaven."

Pulling her closer for another nuzzle, Garrus's voice was husky. "Shepard, I can't even begin to explain how much you being here…with me…how much this means to me."

"Try."

Her plea was soft and gentile. Garrus lifted his eyes to meet hers and in an instant got lost in all the reasons why he was there…why he loved her. The way she laughed, smiled, fired a rifle, fought, swore, and triumphed.

"You are…my bond mate."

Pressing her forehead to his, Shepard closed her eyes and skimmed her nose against his.

"I love you too."


	37. Come What May

Inspired by "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge

Thanks for the suggestions and sorry for the delay!

* * *

_**Come What May**_

The Communications room hadn't been this crowded since it was being constructed. At the head of the table, Shepard stood, her hands resting on the polished wood. All around the table stood her team, all of them hanging on her very words.

Taking a moment, the brunette commander surveyed the group. Every single one of them was loyal to her, this she knew. From the Cerberus operative standing to her right to the Geth with a hole in his chest much farther down the table each one had sworn their loyalty and proven it time after time. Now they stood before her, ready to plunge headfirst into the Collector base.

"This isn't how we planned it, but this is where we're at." To her surprise, Shepard found her voice to be quite strong. It was something of a relief to know that she could still keep it together despite knowing that she might die.

Again.

She pushed off the table, her blue eyes sparkling with adventure and fire. "We can't worry about if the Normandy can get us home. We came to stop the Collectors, and that means coming up with a plan to take out this station. EDI, what've we got?

In a snap, the AI had a full rundown of the base. "You should be able to overload their critical systems if you get to their main control center here."

As she spoke a section was pointed out at the top of the base. It was going to be a bit of a hike, no two ways about it.

Jacob furrowed his brow, the OmniTool on his arm casiting him in a gold orange light. "That means going through the heart of the station, right past this massive energy signature."

Erin leaned forward, her gaze focused on the shimmering image. "That's the central chamber. If our crew or any of the colonists are still alive, the Collectors are probably holding them in there."

Poking at a few controls, Jacob highlighted two separate passages. "Looks like there are two main routes. We should split up to keep the Collectors off balance, then regroup in the central chamber."

"No good. Both routes are blocked." Miranda raised a hand to point out a small flaw in the plan, her accent clipped and professional. "See these doors? The only way past is to get someone to open them from the other side."

Garrus tore his ice blue eyes from Miranda and refocused on Shepard. Here was where she really shone…where it was obvious why N7 took her over anyone else. Finally she spoke. "It's not a fortress. There's gotta be something…here! Maybe we can send someone in through this ventilation shaft."

Jacob shifted next to Miranda so that he was looking at the model once more. "Practically a suicide mission…I volunteer."

Before the commander could get a word in Miranda cut across. "I appreciate the thought Jacob, but you couldn't shut down the security systems in time. We need to send a tech expert."

It took everything he had for the poor Turian to keep a poker face. Miranda had a point, but she also had an ulterior motive. Sure, he'd been distracted by Shepard's advances but he hadn't missed the little glances and touches the Cerberus operatives had been exchanging.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Jacob almost seemed to be pouting. "It's your call Commander. Who do we send into the shaft?"

Erin's reply was almost instantaneous. "Legion, you can hack through almost anything. I'm sending you into the shaft."

The Geth soldier took a moment to adjust his rifle before giving his usual tinny reply. "Acknowledged."

Returning his gaze to Shepard, Garrus nodded. It made sense…Legion was a robot and knew technology better than anyone. Plus he could withstand most environments that organics couldn't. Shepard had made the right choice on that one.

Straightening, Shepard paced a bit. "The rest of us will break into two teams, fight down each passage. That should draw the Collector's attention away from what you're doing."

"I'll lead the second fire team Shepard. We'll meet up with you on the other side of those doors." Miranda stepped up towards the commander, as if assuming her role as XO on the ship.

Of course, Jack was having none of that. "Not so fast, Cheerleader. Nobody wants to take orders from you."

Beside her, Garrus couldn't help but shake his head. While it wasn't the time for Jack to be disagreeing, he found himself in agreement with her. He didn't mind Miranda on a normal basis, but he only took orders from people he trusted.

People like Shepard.

"This isn't a popularity contest, lives are at stake!" The dark haired woman's tone was biting, her patience wearing thin. "Shepard, you need someone who can command loyalty through experience."

Now the brunette commander lowered her gaze to her hands as they rested on the polished wood table. Her ocean blue eyes seemed unfocused as she thought long and hard about what her choice would be. Garrus knew that if she could, she would lead both, but she couldn't. At long last, she raised her head, eyes burning with a determined fire.

"Garrus, you'll lead the second fire team."

For a long heartbeat, everything was still. Ice blue eyes once more locked with ocean blue.

_Shepard, are you sure you want me to do this?_

_More sure than I've been about a lot of things. I trust you._

The Turian nodded slowly, his heart thudding in his chest. Shepard turned to her crew. "I can't tell you what we'll find in there, but I'll tell you it won't be easy. We've lost good people…we may lose more."

She began to pace, which Garrus recognized as a sort of nervous tic of hers, but she remained cool and composed despite it.

"We don't know how many the Collectors have stolen. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands. It's not important. What matters is this." She pointed across the table, as if the Collector General was standing right there, her voice rising into a rolling thunder.

"Not. One. More."

Shepard stood at the head of the table, almost wreathed in a golden halo from the lights. "That's what we can do, here, today. It ends with us. They want to know what we're made of, I say we show them, on our terms!"

Erin took a quick moment, her eyes flashing around the table before smirking. "Let's bring our people home."

The rest of the team filed out to prepare weapons and armor, eventually leaving Garrus and Shepard alone in the room. Both were silent for a time before she caught his eye. A small smirk tugged at the corner of her pink lips and it was all the invitation that Garrus needed. He crossed the distance between them in a few strides, talons settling on her hips and pulling her close.

To her credit, Shepard didn't exactly resist. She pressed close, feeling the Turian's heat radiate through the bulky armor. Raising her forehead, she felt it gently bump against Garrus's.

Pulling away a little, Garrus stared down at Shepard. "Why me? Miranda wanted to go, she's got the talent…"

Shepard shook her head. "No. It had to be you. I don't trust anyone else with my people but you Garrus and you've done this before, remember?"

"And do you remember how that turned out?" Momentarily Garrus was back on Omega, covering the bodies of the men he'd lost.

It was gone as soon as it had come and Shepard was shaking her head, the beautiful vanilla scent wafting towards him as she did so. "That was beyond your control. I know you'll lead them through this just fine."

Her brilliant eyes lifted to meet his. "I trust you Garrus."

That simple sentence spoke volumes from a woman who had been thrown in amongst her enemies only months before. Bending, Garrus rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and simply breathing in her scent, memorizing the way her skin felt against his, the feel of her armor under his talons.

"Are you scared?"

His voice hummed with a half chuckle as he brushed his forehead back and forth across hers. "Terrified. You?"

"Scared shitless."

The pair laughed, two voices ringing in harmony alone in the room. Shaking her head, Shepard pushed a few strands of hair away from her face. "Tell you what, I'll make sure we come back alive."

To his extreme disappointment, Shepard reached down and removed his talons from her hips to take in her own hands. If he didn't know better he'd say she seemed a little nervous about this, her eyes locked onto where his hands fit into hers. "Garrus…I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I love you. There is no mountain to high or a river too wide that will stop me from coming back to you. Just say the word and I'll be there. Battles will come and go but that will never change the fact that I love you…and I'll keep loving you until the end of time. I would say my dying day, but…"

Garrus couldn't help but chuckle at that last bit, but he understood what she was trying to tell him. With a quick wrist movement, he was the one holding her hands, his mouth suddenly dry. "Shep- Erin. You don't understand what you…what you mean to me. I never knew that I could feel this way…I mean, I've heard people talk about it but nothing, nothing like this. It's like I've never seen the sky before and I'm finally looking at it."

Slowly, Shepard moved and rested her head against his chest. His heart stuttered, but Garrus went on softly. "Listen to my heart, can you hear it? It's saying the same thing…it says that seasons will change from winter to spring but I will love you. I love you until…well, like you said, until the end of time."

Gently, he put a talon beneath her chin, lifting her gaze to meet his again. "We're going to make it back from this."

The human commander smiled softly. "Shouldn't that be my line?"

Blinking slowly, Garrus shook his head wryly. Abruptly, Shepard pulled her hands from his, fumbling with something around her neck. "Oh, wait just a second…"

In a flash she had removed something from her neck and swiped something off Garrus's hip. Before the confused Turian could figure out what had happened, she looped a cool metal chain around his neck, something jangling on the end of it. Studying the object, he realized that he was looking at a mismatched set of dog tags…one read "Shepard, Commander" on it while the other read "Vakarian, Garrus."

Across from him, Shepard jangled his own set of tags. "I've got one of yours, you've got one of mine. You want the other back, you'll have to come back and get it."

Were they not about to walk into a nightmare, Garrus might have thought the gesture sweet and kinda funny. Still, he took her hand. "I'll hold you to it. You'll be back here, no matter what?"

Tightening her grip, Shepard nodded firmly. "I promise. Come what may, I'll be here."

Together the pair turned to look at the door. Once they stepped out there, there would be no going back. Had he not been holding the hand of the most incredible woman in the universe, Garrus had no doubt they would be shaking. Still, he knew one thing for sure.

She loved him. He loved her. They always had.

And come what may, that fact alone would always bring the pair back to each other.


	38. No One

Inspired by Alicia Keys' "No One"

Well, we've reached the end of Mass Effect 2. Good news is that Mass Effect 3 is set to release either in late 2011 or early 2012! ...That's also the bad news. In the meantime I'll be keeping up with the DLC that should bridge the gap between the games. First up will be the Lair of the Shadow Broker, but I've got a few chapters planned in between as well. Thank you all for sticking with me!

* * *

_**No One**_

Let it never be said that Erin Shepard lived a boring life. After leading her team of crack specialists through the hell that was the Collector base and rescuing the crew of the Normandy she had proceeded to take Garrus and Jack with her into the heart of the base where they faced down something that would forever haunt their dreams.

A human Reaper.

Shepard, true to her nature, had decided that the best way to remove the offending being was to destroy it.

With _EXTREME_ prejudice.

Of course this was also after she had told the Illusive Man to stick it up his, she was in a pissy mood and this base was going to go up in flames like it or not. Jack had laughed after cutting him off, and Garrus had for a little bit as well.

Now he was sliding down a platform towards the dying Reaper larvae, only one thought echoing through the Turian's head.

_I am not leaving Shepard again._

Shepard, to her credit, must have been thinking the same thing since she took a dive headfirst down the slope, still glowing with electric blue biotics as she reached for him. Her ocean blue eyes seared with determination, her fingers just slipping through Garrus's talons a few times before finally connecting. Below them the Reaper shrieked and groaned as explosions consumed it but the couple just grinned at each other.

"Gotcha."

As he was hauled back onto the platform, Garrus had to shake his head wryly. "And you call me reckless…"

Opening her mouth to retaliate Erin was cut off by a sudden jarring of the platform as the systems began to fail. She and the Turian beside her were tossed down, tumbling over and over like children often roll down a hill. In a blur of color and sound a second platform careened out of the depths of the base to slam into their own.

What felt like ages later, Shepard rose slowly, shaking her head. Stumbling to her feet, she gazed around and froze. Some distance away Garrus lay deceptively still, his form half shrouded in the shadows. Bridging the distance in a few short strides, Erin knelt by Garrus' side, one hand lightly resting on his chest, the other to the back of his head.

"Garrus?"

Her voice was soft and hesitant. They'd come so far…did she really go through all that to lose him here? Had she unknowingly condemned the man she cared about to die? Fortunately these thoughts were brushed aside as Garrus opened his ice blue eyes, quickly focusing in on Shepard.

No words were exchanged. There would be time for that later. Shepard hastily helped Garrus up before darting over to where Jack was pinned beneath a slab of scrap metal. Behind her the Turian moved to help her lift but it didn't matter. The commander ducked beneath and lifted the piece off with relative ease. Swiftly kneeling, Shepard was once more rewarded as Jack opened her eyes, blinking for a moment before accepting the hand up.

Satisfied that her team was still alive, Shepard tuned into the voice buzzing in her earpiece.

"Commander? Come on Shepard, don't leave me hanging! Do you copy?"

The brunette commander swallowed a little to clear her dry throat. If they lived through this, first thing she would order is a big glass of water. Or champagne. Whichever was more readily available. "I'm here Joker. Did the ground team make it?"

Joker's response sent a wave of relief through Shepard. "Everyone's, we're just waiting on you!"

"Shepard!"

She didn't need to look over her shoulder to hear what was coming. A dark cloud of seeker swarms began to race towards the trio while in the cloud Collectors moved like dim shadows. Jack took the lead with Garrus behind and Shepard bringing up the rear. As her teammates sprinted for the ship, the Commander took a few crack shots before abandoning that for all out running.

"You have changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction."

Harbinger's voice seemed to echo all around them but there was nothing that was about to stop Shepard. Ahead she could see Garrus skip lightly into the Normandy only to turn around and stand next to Joker, the concern on his face visible even from where she stood. Behind her the Collectors fired again and again, a few bullets hitting their mark. One managed to find a spot into Shepard's side, causing the woman to stumble.

As she did so, a huge beam crashed down into the platform that separated the Normandy from an easy run up to the ship. Now there was a gap of at least twenty feet and a seemingly endless drop below.

Beside Joker, Garrus inhaled sharply. "She's not going to make it."

If that thought ever occurred to the commander in the past, it certainly wasn't going through her mind then. She charged up the slope, her short mahogany hair streaming behind her while her eyes burned like brilliant sapphire beacons. In awe, Garrus watched as his bond mate reached the edge of the ground, stepped right on the edge, and pushed herself off into the air.

While it's impossible for time to slow down or speed up, it seemed to everyone at that moment that Shepard hung in the air, almost as if the universe were holding its breath. And as suddenly as the moment had slowed, time resumed its pace. Shepard slammed into the side of the Normandy, the air knocked from her lungs for a moment while she clawed at the edge.

Garrus didn't even blink as projectiles soared past his face. Reaching forward, he wrapped his hand around Shepard's and pulled with such force that the commander was yanked into him, the pair falling against the opposite wall.

Around them was a flurry of activity as Joker hobbled off and the rest of the crew scrambled to stations but the pair simply sat there, twined together in a mess of armor and weapons before bursting into laughter.

Adrenaline coursed through Garrus as he brushed his forehead against Shepard's in relief. "You reckless fool…what if I hadn't been there to catch you?"

Shakily, Erin laughed and brushed her lips oh so lightly across Garrus's mouth. "See, that's the great part. You're always there to catch me."

The Normandy hummed from stem to stern as it raced away from the explosion that consumed the Collector base. Disentangling herself from Garrus, Shepard stood. "Come on, there's a lot of work to be done…and I've got to explain this to the Illusive Man."

She wrinkled her nose as though his name carried a bad taste with it. Garrus rose but paused when he realized that his hand was stained with Erin's deep crimson blood. "Shepard, you're hurt…the Illusive Man can wait, let's get you to Chakwas…"

Erin waved him off. "No. I'll go after. You get to the cargo bay, see what you can do down there…we should be within transmission range now. "

Casting him one last look, Shepard smiled softly. "Promise. I'll come down and see you as soon as I'm done."

Reluctantly, Garrus resigned himself to the fact that Shepard was going to win this round. After he'd disappeared to the bowels of the ship, Shepard sighed before heading towards the communications room. It seemed forever ago that she had stood in the room and declared that they were going to take the fight to the Collectors at long last. Now she was re-entering them triumphantly. Gingerly setting a fallen beam upright, Erin took a deep breath and stepped forward.

As the program sputtered and started, Erin found she wasn't apprehensive about talking to the head of Cerberus as she thought she'd be. When his image finally appeared his back was to her, a cigarette held loosely in his hand.

"Shepard," his voice was cold like ice, "You're making a habit of costing me time and money."

"Too many lives were lost at that base. I'm not sorry it's gone."

Now the Illusive Man adopted a condescending tone on top of his already disapproving tone. "The first of many lives. The technology from that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy, against the Reapers and beyond."

"Human dominance, or just Cerberus?" Shepard fired back coolly.

Rising at long last, the head of Cerberus approached, waving his hand dismissively. "Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human. Cerberus _is_ humanity. I should have known you'd choke at the hard decisions. Too idealistic from the start!"

At that point, the usually paitent commander Shepard decided she's had just about enough of the Illusive Man's bullshit. "I'm not looking for your approval. Harbinger is coming and he won't be alone. Humanity needs a leader who's looking out for them. From now on I'm doing things my way, whether you agree or not."

"Don't turn your back on me Shepard!" The Illusive Man was furious now, his emotions barely in check. "I made you, I brought you back from the dead."

And that was it. The remark about her death just pushed Shepard that one bit too far. Looking up, she smirked. "Joker, lose this channel."

With one glance back, Shepard strode confidently out of the conference room.

* * *

"So you basically hung up on him?"

After working for several long hours on making the Normandy functional again Shepard had been practically ordered out and so found herself curled up on her bed with Garrus. His large frame seemed to automatically fit around her like a protective blanket. His talons rested gently on her hip, conscious of the bandages that had been wrapped around the wound Shepard sustained running to the ship.

Giggling, Shepard rested her head against Garrus's chest. "I couldn't stand it anymore. Maybe that was a bad thing, but I haven't told Miranda or Jacob yet…I bet they'll know soon."

For the first time, a twinge of worry crept into the commander's voice. Tilting his head down, Garrus took a moment to inhale the scent of vanilla before softly murmuring into her hair. "Shepard, what's bothering you? We won."

"Everyone leaves." This time it wasn't just sadness, but Shepard was on the verge of tears. The Turian tried to meet her gaze but couldn't as she went on. "My parents left, my team on Akuze left, Kaidan left, Liara left, Wrex left, and now everyone is going to go their own ways. Samara has things to do as a Justicar, Miranda and Jacob will go back to Cerberus, they're both too loyal to that cause to leave. Jack will go off on a rampage across the universe, while Mordin will return to his Omega clinic. Grunt will go to Tuchanka with Wrex, Tali will probably go back to the fleet. Thane will probably go to be with his son before he dies and you…"

She shook in his arms, be it from exhaustion or emotion Garrus couldn't tell. Gently he ran his talons along her arm as the commander went on. "It's the way things have always been…hell, even I left you all at one point. People will leave."

Placing a talon beneath her chin, Garrus lifted Shepard's face to meet his own. "Erin. I can't speak for the rest of the crew, but I promise you that I'll always be here. I'm not going anywhere. Not just because you're a great commander and I'd follow you to the ends of the earth and back, but because I love you. No one and nobody can get in the way of that."

For a long time, Shepard was silent, her eyes flickering back and forth over Garrus's face before she put her forehead against his in a silent signal of acceptance. Garrus knew when to accept a victory and pulled her a little closer. "How's your side?"

"Hurts like a bitch."

With a melodious chuckle, Garrus pulled the covers up over the pair. "Get some rest. You deserve it…we can worry about the rest of the crew in the morning."

And within moments the two were dozing peacefully against each other, human and Turian as one seamless entity. Erin's chocolate brown hair splayed over his arm in sharp contrast to his tan plating as they slept. They were together and alive and for that moment, that was all that mattered.


	39. According To You

Inspired by Orianthi's "According to You"

And you all thought I was done. Hell no! There's apparently DLC coming out that will bridge the gap between the games, so I'll be taking a look at that and working through it until Mass Effect 3 comes out. I know it'll be a while, but I think it'll be worth it. Also, any guesses as to what Garrus bought? ;)

* * *

_**According to You**_

Despite the Normandy bearing a giant Cerberus logo and despite the fact that Omega was much closer, Shepard insisted that they dock at the Citadel for repairs. She'd also ordered that in addition to all the damages fixed, the ship was to be repainted so that the Cerberus logo was no longer present.

Ordinarily not too bold a move, except Shepard had given the order directly to Miranda before ordering Mordin to conduct a thorough sweep of the ship for tracking devices, listening bugs and the like. If it was there, she wanted it found and subsequently removed.

In the mean time, she intended to meet with Anderson and take care of some personal business.

"You sure you don't want me to come with?"

Shepard chuckled, her fingers gliding along Garrus's fringe as the pair stood in the main battery. "Garrus, it's going to be a quick catch up session with Anderson and then I'm going shopping. For clothes. I think you'd much rather stay here."

Unfortunately, the brunette biotic had taught Garrus a little too well. He tilted his head to the side, moving his fringe just out of her reach. "You didn't say anything about not wanting me to come along."

With a heavy sigh, Shepard shook her head. "I'm not saying I don't want you with, I'm just saying you'll be bored to tears."

"So do you want me to come or not? Yes or no Shepard."

"Yes."

"Then it's settled." Garrus took her hand and led the way towards the elevator without so much as a backwards glance at the calibration station he'd called home for so long. A tug on his hand caused the Turian to glance backwards. "Something wrong Shepard?"

Bemused, Erin shook her head. "You willingly left your calibrations…I guess I do mean that much to you."

Grumbling, Garrus yanked her closer, ice blue eyes bright and mischievous. "Why you little…"

Before she could react he'd ducked down and slung the human over his shoulder, a firm grip on her waist preventing her from going much of anywhere. Still, she squirmed and giggled.

"Garrus, stop! Put me down, I'm ticklish!"

Mentally the Turian noted to exploit that particular aspect of human physiology later and set her down…but not until they were in the elevator. Quickly he assessed her for any sort of harm before pushing a small strand of hair behind her ear. "You look…nice. Is that an acceptable human compliment?"

Erin smiled up at the Turian. After getting rid of anything that had a Cerberus logo on it Shepard had found herself severely lacking in the clothes department and so had resorted to wearing a pair of old jeans and a black sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder. It wasn't the ideal attire she had in mind for meeting with Anderson, but her armor was still being repaired by Jacob when he had the time.

Standing on her toes, the commander nuzzled her forehead against Garrus's. "Yes, that is a perfectly acceptable compliment. You're catching on."

"Well, you know me."

The elevator dinged to announce its arrival at the main deck, which was fairly empty. Most of the crew was taking some well deserved leave time while Yeoman Chambers conducted evaluations of them to determine if they would be fit to return to work. The couple quickly exited and caught the first rapid transit to the Presidium, not wanting to attract too much attention. In public, they had agreed that for the time being they should keep the relationship on the down low so that it wouldn't cause unnecessary trouble. Still, one thing had Garrus on edge.

"Shepard, what if we see Alenko?"

Erin leaned back, her deep blue eyes gazing out over the sparkling lights of the Citadel. Garrus knew that the human biotic had sent the commander a message, which she had deleted without even reading. She might not admit it, but the idea had her worried.

Finally, she shook her head. "Honestly, I don't know. If we see him first, we do our best to get the hell out of his sight and hope he doesn't see us. But I don't think it'll be too big of a deal. The Citadel is a huge place, so the odds of running into him are pretty low."

For a long moment, both human and Turian gazed at each other with a sort of understanding.

"One of us is going to run into him, aren't we?"

"Without a doubt."

* * *

"Shepard!"

The surprise couldn't be more evident in Anderson's voice as the pair entered his office moments later. Respectfully, Garrus hung back while Shepard was enveloped in an embrace. Pulling back, she beamed at the older man.

"Anderson, it's been far too long. I presume you got my message a while back?"

Furrowing his brow, Anderson nodded, making his way towards the balcony. "Yes…that you were going through the Omega Four relay. And judging by the fact that you're here, I'll say you succeeded."

Casually Shepard waved a hand. "Same old, same old. But we've got data, and lots of it, about the Reapers. They're coming Anderson, and we need the council on our side."

For the next hour the trio sat and discussed what had happened. From finding the derelect Reaper, using it's IFF to go through the relay, the events within the Collector base, the human Reaper, and finally how they had cut ties from Cerberus.

By the end, Anderson was simply shaking his head in awe. "Shepard, only you would be able to do this and come out alive..."

She chuckled, absently toying with a strand of hair. "I suppose. But my main concern is what you can do for us now. Would you be able to put a word in with the Council, see if we could get a hearing?"

Anderson sighed heavily. "I don't know Shepard. You have impressive evidence and some good witnesses to back this up. I'll see what I can do though…maybe they'd listen this time."

Rising, Shepard beamed at the man who had stepped in as a guardian for her so many years ago. "I would expect nothing less."

Following suit, Anderson finally smiled. "No promises. In the mean time, I'll keep you informed."

With a quick nod, Shepard turned to Garrus. "I'm going to go see if I can catch a transit for us. I'll keep you posted."

Before he could react, Erin brushed her forehead against his and bounded out of the room. Behind him, Anderson chuckled as he approached. "She certainly is something else."

"Yeah…she really is." The Turian couldn't keep the admiration out of his voice.

Anderson took a moment to study the alien beside him. There certainly was something more between Shepard and Garrus than they were letting on, that little head nuzzle only confirmed it. Still…they seemed so happy together that he really couldn't argue. Placing a hand on Garrus's shoulder, Anderson met Garrus's light blue eyes.

"I just wanted to say thank you. Whenever we got a chance to communicate she always spoke very highly of you…I think you're one of the reasons she came back. Thank you."

It felt as if Garrus's heart had leapt from his chest into his throat. He and Anderson had been on friendly terms before he went to Omega, but to hear him praising him like this…it meant more than anything to hear that. As he opened his mouth to reply, a small beep from his OmniTool distracted the Turian. Sheepishly he opened the message, scanning it quickly.

_Garrus, something came up, I ran into an old friend, we're going for coffee. Meet you later. Shepard_

With another light pat on the shoulder, Anderson turned back towards his desk. "Go meet her Vakarian. I have plenty to keep me busy now and it's never a good idea to keep a woman waiting."

"Yes sir. Thank you."

Darting out of the office, Garrus found himself alone with a few hours to kill before he met back up with Shepard. While he wasn't one for shopping, he drifted towards the Wards, lazily taking in all the different stores. Pausing, he felt his eyes drawn to an item on display. As if his throat had clenched up, he swallowed hard and couldn't quite tear his eyes away from the little item. Glancing one way and the other, he abruptly made a decision.

* * *

Skipping down the stairs, Shepard had her gaze locked on the rapid transit terminal and had almost made it when a voice froze the commander in her tracks.

"Shepard?"

So close. Turning, Shepard found herself face to face with Kaidan Alenko, his deep amber eyes wide with shock. With a deep breath, Shepard steadied herself and plastered on a smile. "Hi Kaidan. Long time no see."

He looked uncomfortable, but slowly the biotic approached. "Yeah…yeah it has been. What brings you here?"

Never had Shepard wanted the transit to arrive sooner. "I just wanted to stop in, talk with Anderson. Giving my crew some shore leave while we fix up the Normandy and I needed to do some shopping so I dragged Garrus along."

As if alarmed, Kaidan glanced around. "Where is he?"

Shrugging, Shepard stared out over the lake. "Oh, just catching up with Anderson. He should be along soon."

"Let's grab coffee."

Shepard whipped around, her chocolate brown hair falling across her eyes. "I'm sorry, what?"

Kaidan shifted uncomfortably on his feet before finally meeting Shepard's blazing gaze. "Look, I…I want to talk to you, so let's grab coffee and talk."

For a moment the two former teammates stared each other down before Shepard, without breaking her gaze, tapped out a message to Garrus on her OmniTool. Of course, now the transit decided to arrive, the door opening expectantly. Kaidan broke the gaze and Shepard triumphantly turned to the car. "Come on then. Let's go."

Needless to say, the cab ride to the café was silent and uncomfortable for both parties involved. Kaidan kept opening his mouth as though he wanted to speak, then shutting it as though he had thought better of it. Shepard, for her part stared determinedly out the window, her thoughts on Garrus. Hopefully he wouldn't feel like she'd ditched him because she wanted to. She hadn't exactly been keen to go with Kaidan, but she had run from the facts about her resurrection long enough and was ready to face her problems head on once more.

To his credit, Kaidan was a perfect gentleman, allowing Shepard to pick the table, order first, and even paying. At a small patio table separated from the main walkway by a low wall, Shepard gazed at her former teammate over a steaming mug of coffee. "All right Alenko, you got me here to talk, so let's hear it."

Setting his own mug down with a soft clink, the dark haired biotic raised his eyes to meet Shepard's gaze. "Shepard, I don't know what I can do to make up for what I said to you on Horizon…"

"You can't do a damn thing. What's done is done."

He continued on as if he hadn't heard her. "…But what I said was the truth."

An uncomfortable knot formed in Shepard's stomach. "Which part, the part where I betrayed everyone or the part that came before that?"

Heaving a sigh, Kaidan reached across the table and took Shepard's hands in his own. "Look, Shepard, I love you. I did then and yes, maybe I was angry that you'd been gone, but I still love you now. If you can accept that, I think we should give this a shot."

Erin usually played her emotions a little closer to the vest, but now she openly gaped at her second in command. Surely he was kidding. But no, he sat there, expectantly waiting for her reply, the commander's hands caught in his.

"I have a boyfriend."

It was short, abrupt, nothing like the eloquent things Shepard would have said, but it was what came out of her mouth. Instantly the brunette commander wondered if that was true. Did Turians even have any sort of concept of boyfriends or girlfriends? He'd called her his 'bond mate' which sounded pretty permanent and they were bond brothers, but what did they have now?

Kaidan stiffened, his hands still firmly grasping Shepard's. "It's not one of those Cerberus operatives, is it?"

Now slightly put off, Shepard frowned, a hint of bite creeping into her voice. "No, actually, it's Garrus Vakarian."

"_WHAT_?"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

For a moment, the biotic sputtered before finding his words again. "He's a Turian! Shepard, have you lost your mind?"

"I'm sorry, when did this become a huge deal to you?" Finally Shepard pulled her hands free, a flush of anger racing through her. "In case you don't recall, he was the one who stood by me when I was alone and with Cerberus!"

If the remark stung, Kaidan hid it well. He simply curled his hands into fists. "Shepard, he's a Turian! The very species humanity waged a war with! You two can't even eat the same food!"

Erin Shepard had finally had enough. It seemed that since the Collectors had stolen her crew the usually paitent commander's temper was shortening and poor Kaidan had been unlucky enough to trigger it.

Standing and slamming her hands down on the table, Shepard couldn't have cared less that she was raising her voice. "No, you listen to me! You left! I made it very clear that while I consider you a good friend, I do not love you. Garrus may be different, but he's everything I've ever wanted. He thinks I'm beautiful and incredible and funny and irresistible! I've got a terrible attention span and he puts up with it. He cares about me because of all the reasons you don't, and that's more than any other human has been able to do. I've made my decision, and it's him. So don't you dare judge me for choosing the man who was always there over the one who wasn't!"

By the end, most of the chatter from other customers had died away, the patrons and staff staring at Shepard. Kaidan simply looked stunned, his jaw hanging open and his deep chocolate eyes blank.

In an effort to calm herself, Shepard turned away and found herself frozen, facing none other than Garrus Vakarian a few feet away from the low wall. As soon as she'd made eye contact, he closed the distance in a few quick strides, offering her an arm. Shepard took the offer, using it to boost herself over the wall and away from Kaidan. The pair didn't look back.

They walked in silence for a while, finally stopping just outside a little boutique that Shepard had been quite fond of before her death two years ago. She raised her gaze to meet Garrus's. "How much of that did you see?"

With a nonchalant shrug, Garrus seemed fairly calm. "I think I came in right about the time Kaidan was telling you that we can't eat the same food. Although I have to say, I'm flattered you think so highly of me…"

"Garrus, what are we?"

The Turian blinked, taking a moment to fully comprehend the question. At long last he sighed, rubbing at his fringe. "I'm not sure the human term for it…for Turians, we'd be considered bond mates, which is…well, it's sort of more than what humans call dating but less than a mated couple."

Furrowing her brow, Shepard bit her lower lip. "So…more than dating, but less than married. Somewhere in the awkward gray area?"

"I suppose."

Playfully Shepard nudged the Turian. "And here I thought you didn't know what to do with gray."

They chuckled before Shepard shook her head, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "So…I guess in human terms you're my boyfriend."

"Right."

"Okay. And when we get back to the Normandy, we're going to go through all this Turian terminology so I can understand the difference between bond mates and bond brothers."

And so the rest of the day went on like that, time passing pleasantly between stores and just enjoying not being shot at for once. Towards the end of the day Garrus found himself lounging outside the last stop of the day while Shepard paid for her purchases. Quickly glancing to make sure she wasn't going to come out just yet, Garrus dug into his pocket where his purchase from earlier was safely tucked away. Discreetly he removed the little jewelry box, flipping it open with his talon.

Maybe…but no. He snapped the box shut, returning it to its hiding spot. It wasn't the right time just yet. She'd had a hard day, no need to make it any more difficult for her.

"Hey! Ready to go?"

Tearing himself from his thoughts, Garrus arranged his mandibles into a smile as Shepard slipped her hand into his. Since the wards were mostly empty by now there wasn't much risk that people would see but just in case they were discreet about it. Side by side they strolled back towards the Normandy, Shepard chatting on about the day and how they needed more like this one.

Garrus Vakarian contented himself with watching his bond mate, a small smile dancing in his ice blue eyes. Not today, but some day. Some day…


	40. A Million Kisses

Inspired by Romance on a Rocketship's "A Million Kisses"

Yeah, updates for this month are gonna be a little slow since it's National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in a month so I'm working on that. Also, the song for this chapter is SO AWESOMELY CUTE. Love it so much.

* * *

_**A Million Kisses**_

Erin Shepard was surprisingly comfortable dressing battle wounds and being covered in gore. What she wasn't comfortable with was changing clothes in front of her boyfriend.

Garrus was reclining on her bed, pawing through a human novel as Shepard changed into pajamas in the bathroom. Still, she chattered away from where she toweled off her face at the sink. "Honestly, I'm not sure what Alenko thought he could do today…he'd left me before and just been annoying and he thought that he could get away with that? Laughable!"

She emerged from the bathroom, her chocolate brown locks pulled back into a short ponytail. Amused, the commander paused at the top of the stairs, gazing down at Garrus. The Turian was staring down a hardcover novel, his mandibles clenched tightly in frustration. He tore his gaze away from the book to meet Shepard's eyes.

"Pride and Prejudice?"

Heaving a sigh, Shepard lazily strolled down the steps. "That's a fantastic book. One of my favorites."

"What's it about?" Garrus inquired, shifting on the bed so Shepard could have some space.

Deftly kicking off her slippers, Shepard slid into bed and smiled. "It's a love story. A headstrong young woman captures the heart of an aristocrat, but there are a lot of obstacles they have to get past."

Thoroughly intrigued, Garrus eyed the commander. "Like what?"

Leaning back, Shepard shrugged. "Well, his family objects, she starts out hating him, and when it comes down to it neither one can say what they want to at the right time so they keep missing each other."

"Now why does that sound familiar…" Shepard's voice was light, laughter hiding just behind the mock seriousness. Yet when she turned to Garrus, his face was concerned.

Sitting up, Shepard's hand went to Garrus's face, her fingers lightly tracing patterns along his plates. "What's wrong? Did I say something?"

For a long moment, the Turian struggled for words, then he spoke, his voice soft and full of hurt. "Shepard, what if you would be better off with Alenko?"

Silence crashed between the two, a look of hurt slowly emerging on Shepard's face. As if realizing what he'd said, Garrus hurriedly rushed on.

"It's not that I don't want you here, not at all! I just…I don't have a lot to give, but whatever I have is yours. If I could, I'd give you…" He glanced up and pulled Shepard close, pointing to where thousands of stars glimmered above, "every star. And they'd shine for you, every last one. But…But as I am, I'm just a washed up Turian who wasn't a good vigilante, c-sec officer, or even member of his own race. I just…"

Her fingers were soft against his lips, and Shepard's blue eyes froze Garrus in place. "Garrus…I don't need anything. I don't need the stars, I don't need gifts or jewelry or flowers. What I want…what I've needed this whole time is you. I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you to come along, and I'm not letting this go ever."

Some of the worry left Garrus's eyes as he reached around to lose Shepard's long hair from the ponytail, his fingers trailing through the strands slowly. "You mean that…you really mean that."

Smiling at the incredulous tone in his voice, Shepard smiled, practically radiating her satisfaction that he'd realized that. "Yes. I've always meant that."

For a while they lay together, Shepard's head resting on Garrus's chest as the stars overhead shone down on them. Furrowing her brow, the brunette commander turned to meet Garrus's gaze. "Just out of curiosity, why the sudden interest? Was it just because of Kaidan today or…"

She trailed off. Truth be told she wasn't so knowledgeable about Turian culture so she was foraging into unknown territory here. Garrus raised and lowered his shoulder gently. "It's not him…well, sort of."

He rolled over onto his side, intensely looking at Shepard. "Erin…where is this going? I don't mean the mission, but…but us. Where are we going? Is this just…blowing off steam or is it something more? Because if it's just tension relief then I can understand that but…but that'd break my heart."

As if realizing what he was saying, Shepard slowly reached over to twine her fingers with his. "Garrus, I don't know where this is going. I mean…I don't know if this will last a week, a month, a year, or however long. I do know that this isn't just 'blowing off steam.' You are honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me."

A tremor of relief seemed to run through the Turian as he released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Reaching up he tucked a strand of hair behind Shepard's ear. "I just..I just needed to know. Turians are all about finding a good mate and raising a family. If you were a Turian, Shepard, you'd be the ideal mate. You've got a good job, you're successful, can provide for a family…and on the opposite end, you've got me. I can't provide for a family, no job, no real prospects. I just…I can't give you a home. At least, not the way Turians consider home."

Shepard chuckled softly, brushing her forehead against Garrus's. "Garrus, you don't need all that to win me over. I don't need a typical husband; I need a fantastic sniper who will watch my back. And for what it's worth, your hearth is worth a million credits in my book."

For his part, Garrus just watched Shepard in amazement. She snuggled into his chest as he caressed her shoulders and back with his talons. Of all the wonderful, amazing women in the universe, he had somehow managed to capture the heart of the one that topped them all. She made him…well, not different, but a better version of himself. Tilting his head, Garrus planted a kiss on the top of Shepard's head.

If love was all she wanted from him, then that's what he'd always be for her.


	41. Stand In The Rain

Inspired by Superchick's "Stand in the Rain"

Finally, an update! This will follow the most recent DLC, Lair of the Shadow Broker. It's so expansive that I've split it into two chapters...although I considered making it four. XP Keep an eye out for the next chapter coming soon, I hope!

* * *

_**Stand In The Rain**_

Shepard groaned and rolled over as her personal terminal shrilly screamed at her. Oh yeah, she definitely hated that thing now. Beside her, Garrus made a muffled noise into the pillow, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her back towards his warm body before she could even try to get out of bed.

"Mmmm…let it be Erin. It's too early for checking messages."

Chuckling, the brunette spectre was tempted to agree with Garrus except the alarm going off was one she had set specifically for priority mail. "I'll compromise. I'll stay here with you and check it on my Omni tool."

The Turian beside her didn't remove his hand, but mumbled something that sounded like 'acceptable,' so Shepard powered up the orange device.

Normally Garrus would have tried to go back to sleep when Shepard was taking care of official business but when she grew tense under his touch, he removed his face from the pillow, blue eyes blearily searching for hers. "Shep, what's wrong?"

"It's from Cerberus."

Now he understood her discomfort. There had been no contact between her and the Illusive Man since she'd returned from the Omega Four relay and there was no real way to tell where they stood with him now. Although if he was sending her mail, it could go either way. Shifting, he propped himself up on his elbow. "What does it say?"

The brunette was silent for a moment. "It's information on the Shadow Broker…they want me to pass it on to Liara as a show of good faith. EDI?"

Instantly the AI's voice rang through the room. "Yes Shepard?"

"Set a course for Illium. We're going to pay Liara a visit."

Once they were sure that the AI was gone, Garrus glanced up at Shepard. "You sure about this? If I know you, we're going to get pulled into helping Liara do whatever she needs to do with this information."

Much to Garrus's disappointment, Shepard swung her legs over the side of the bed, standing and stretching. "I know…but she's our friend Garrus and if we can help her take down the Shadow Broker…well, all the better for us."

Reluctantly, Garrus left the warmth and comfort of the bed to stand behind Shepard, burying his face in her hair. Momentarily he wondered how she always managed to smell of vanilla, but then he exhaled, ruffling her hair as he did so. "I suppose I should get ready to go, hmm?"

Tilting her head back, Shepard closed her eyes contentedly. "Probably. When you're down there, let Thane know that we're getting ready to go as well."

Upon seeing the Turian's confused look, Erin turned so that she was facing him, still allowing him to keep his talons on her waist. "If we're potentially going after the Shadow Broker that's going to make us a target. I want Thane's opinion as an assassin on what to do and what his take on the situation. We know the Shadow Broker has used assassins in the past, and if Thane can give us even a little insight it could save our lives. I know you're not fond of him, but could you please try to be nice for just this mission?"

"You're talking like we're already going to get involved in some sort of trouble." Garrus admitted softly.

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "You know me, I always prepare for the worst."

After being kicked out of the room several minutes later, Garrus wandered down towards Life Support, fully armored up and having been informed that they were about fifteen minutes away from docking at Illium. He entered life support and stood awkwardly just inside, staring at Thane's turned back. Eventually, he cleared his throat and rapped against the metal with his talon.

Thane turned his head ever so slightly, which Garrus took as an all right sign. "Sorry to disturb you, but we're landing at Illium in a few minutes. Shepard wants you and me to be ready to go."

Silence greeted this announcement, so Garrus turned to go but was halted by the Drell's rumbling voice.

"She is…incredibly resilient." The two men finally made eye contact, the Drell blinking his obsidian eyes. "After everything that has happened, she is still diving back into the fray."

Chuckling quietly, Garrus shook his head. "You haven't been around her long enough to know…that's just how she is."

* * *

The trio's walk to Liara's office was relatively uneventful and they were able to keep away from being noticed by anyone too unsavory. Ducking into the office, Shepard smiled as their old teammate looked up from where she was working at her desk.

"Shepard! It's good to see you again." As the brunette took a seat, she went on. "So, what can I do for you."

To her credit, Shepard wasted no time. "I know you're looking for the Shadow Broker. Cerberus gave me intel on where to find him. Interested?"

From where he stood with Thane, Garrus snorted. Of course Liara was going to be interested, Shepard already knew that. She just made the offer so as not to seem too forward.

Suddenly excited, Liara rose to her feet. "Absolutely! I had no idea…Let me see what you've got."

The room went silent as Liara scanned the data pad that Shepard handed her, the Asari's blue eyes flickering over the information rapidly.

"It looks like a link transmission between Shadow Broker operatives. Some hints as to the location and…" Her breath caught, "It's about Feron. He's still alive!"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Your friend? The one who helped recover my body from the Shadow Broker?"

Liara nodded slowly. "The same. He sacrificed himself to save me…I'd never found anything suggesting he was alive. After two years…I hadn't even dreamed."

Thane and Garrus exchanged swift glances. Neither were experts in romance, at least as far as Garrus was willing to admit, but just the way that Liara spoke about her friend made it seem as though there was more than friendship there.

Doing her best to hide a smirk, Shepard nodded. "Sounds like you two were close."

"It's funny. He betrayed me more than once." Admitted the Asari, "He was double dealing for Cerberus. For the Shadow Broker. But in the end…he sacrificed himself for me. I owe him."

A funny look crossed Shepard's face before she nodded solemnly. "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. What's the next step?"

Suddenly looking very tired, Liara glanced down. "I…I don't know. I need to prepare, to think. I'm going home. Use my terminal if you need any local intel."

Rotating on the spot, Shepard's gaze never left her old squad mate. "You okay?"

Liara paused at the door, her back to Shepard. "I've spent two years plotting revenge. Now I have the chance to make it a rescue."

"Let me help. I'll come by your apartment?"

Garrus would have cringed, but he knew that they would be roped in anyways. Shepard was never one to turn away from helping an old friend, and besides, he was itching for a little action.

Surprised, Liara nodded. "Okay. Hopefully I'll have a plan by then. Thank you Shepard."

For a long moment after the Asari had left, Shepard gazed out over the trading plaza. Eventually she sighed heavily and turned to the two aliens with her. "Right. Let's head out. It'll be a bit of a ride to Liara's place. Thane, have you ever encountered the Shadow Broker's agents? Anything you can offer us?"

Gently, the Drell inclined his head. "No, but I would presume that they are well trained and powerful. I advise the utmost caution upon getting involved, _Siha_."

Garrus bristled at the use of the word, but remained silent. He didn't want to cause a scene with the Drell in the middle of Illium, but still, it irked him to see the green-skinned alien walking side by side with his bond mate. Occasionally Shepard kept glancing back to Garrus and he would offer her a tentative smile, fluttering his mandibles as best he could. Briefly his mind flashed to the little item he'd bought on the Citadel a few days ago but pushed it out of his head. It wasn't the time. He would wait until things were just right before even considering that.

The cab ride was fairly relaxed and uneventful until the trio got out and began to make their way to Liara's apartment. Shepard paused, frowning. "This…is a lot of cops."

Indeed, the area was swarming with officers and for a moment Garrus felt like he was back at C-Sec. Shepard led the way, pausing before the holo-tape. "What's going on?"

An Asari officer glanced up from her data pad. "This area's sealed off. Please step back ma'am."

Garrus gave a small huff. Of course, standard procedure to push away anyone who wasn't supposed to be involved in the investigation. Some things never change.

Surprised, Erin blinked. "Sealed off? Why?"

"Someone tried to kill your friend, Commander Shepard." Another Asari was making her way down the staircase, her blue and white armor obviously designating her as someone outside the police force. She glanced over at the Asari by the door. "Thank you Officer, your people are dismissed."

This was news to both Shepard and Garrus. The pair exchanged nervous glances before Shepard barreled through the holo-tape, ignoring the angry beep it made when she did so.

However, the other officer wasn't about to let this go. "You can't do that!" She protested angrily.

Coolly, the blue-armored Asari glanced over her shoulder. "Already done."

Around them the techs filed out and Shepard approached the other woman. "Tila Vasir, Special Tactics and Recon."

Garrus watched as Shepard's brow crinkled into a frown. "A Spectre?"

Shrugging, Vasir nodded. "I heard your status was reinstated. Good. You're one of our most famous operatives. Might even get you to sign my chest plate…"

If this made Shepard uncomfortable, the brunette Vanguard didn't show it. Garrus however, couldn't help but bristle a bit. Beside him, Thane shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"So, I assume you had business with your friend this evening Commander?" Vasir's voice snapped Garrus out of his anger.

Calmly, Shepard spoke, either unaware or ignoring Garrus's rage behind her. "Liara was following a lead on the Shadow Broker."

Now it was Thane's turn to bristle. Garrus glanced over at the dark eyed Drell. "What?"

Not taking his eyes off the two women, Thane's voice was quiet. "Shepard has already told her our purpose…it might not be good to be so open with someone we've just met."

"She's a spectre. I'm sure she's trustworthy." Garrus whispered back.

"So was Saren."

Falling silent again, the boys listened as Vasir went on, stepping closer to Shepard. "The Shadow Broker? That's a dangerous enemy to have."

Stepping into her role as commander, Shepard glanced around. "What are the facts so far?"

"About twenty five minutes ago someone took a shot at T'Soni. Note the bullet holes." Vasir jerked her thumb over to where a few bullet holes were punched in the glass. "She stuck around for almost four minutes before leaving the building. Whatever she was doing was important."

Now Shepard was concerned. "If Liara isn't here, then where is she?"

The other Spectre smirked wryly. "If I knew that I wouldn't be sifting through her crap. There's no blood, no body…looks like T'Soni go away. The sniper didn't plan on her kinetic barrier. Clever girl. Paranoid, but clever."

A brief smirk flashed across the Commander's face and Garrus knew that it wasn't just out of pride for her former teammate, but partially because of the unintentional reference to an old movie she had shown him once. Cretaceous Park…or something like that. Still, the Commander went on. "Did the police find anything when they arrived?"

Shaking her head, Vasir was still. "Just the mess and the bullet holes. I gave them a gold star for finding the bullet holes."

Now that last comment brought a smile to Garrus's face. While Thane might have had a point about trusting too easily, this Spectre was sassy and sarcastic, which was just Garrus's speed.

Settling back, Shepard glanced around. "Liara was expecting me. She would have left a message here…her office wasn't safe."

Vasir crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not surprised. Illium is Omega with expensive shoes. We haven't found anything useful for tracking her down yet. You knew T'Soni better than I do, where would she have hidden her backups?"

"Let me take a look around." Shepard fired back.

Vasir nodded and went to investigate some small bookshelf. Outside lightning flashed, indicating that a storm was rolling in. Motioning to Thane, Shepard drew him towards the window, murmuring something about the sniper and bullet holes. While they quietly conversed, Garrus was drawn to a display case on the far wall. As he approached, his breath hitched in his throat.

"Shepard's old armor…" He breathed, resisting the urge to reach out and touch it.

From her spot by the bookshelf, Vasir glanced over. "Looks like someone didn't like Shepard much either."

Quickly Garrus turned away from the armor. He didn't like to think about what Shepard must have looked like when they brought her in for the first time…if her armor was any indicator, not good would be the understatement of the year. Shepard drifted towards him, her fingers lacing through his talons for a brief moment, indicating he should follow while Thane investigated the window. Together they drifted through the study and towards the kitchen when something caught Shepard's eye.

She stared at the painting on the wall, almost hypnotized by it. Vasir glanced over, nodding towards the frame. "Yeah…that's not the Asari home world. I'm not sure what planet that is."

"It's Ilos…" Shepard's voice was soft, almost reverent as she reached out towards the frame. Garrus could have laughed for not recognizing it before but now the tunnels looked so familiar. How could he have forgotten?

"_Siha_." Thane's voice came from halfway up the stairs. Erin turned away from the picture, following after the assassin wordlessly. Garrus and Vasir trailed behind as they made their way to Liara's bedroom.

Approaching the side table, Shepard paused to glance at a picture of the old Normandy SR1. She smiled softly and picked up the frame, but as soon as she did so it switched to a picture of the Prothean dig site where they'd found Liara so many years ago.

Vasir noticed instantly. "The picture changed when you touched it…It must be keyed to your ID. What's it show now?"

"It's a Prothean dig site." Answered Shepard brusquely, replacing the frame. "Liara did leave a message."

Glancing down the stairs, Vasir nodded, the tattoos around her eyes standing out in the dim light. "There are a few Prothean looking objects around the apartment. Let's see what we can find."

Before Garrus could move Shepard was drifting from object to object, Thane at her side. The pair spoke quietly together, their heads close together. Once again, jealousy swept through the Turian but he forced himself to remain calm. It wasn't a big deal…but he just got frustrated to see her with the Drell. Vasir made a few comments on the value of the objects, which caused Shepard to scoff and Garrus to shake his head. Remaining upstairs Garrus watched as his bond mate smiled at Thane, her white teeth flashing in the lightning as it sporadically lit the apartment. In many ways he was resenting Shepard for bringing Thane along…but she was commander. He would respect her decision.

"Vasir! I've got something here."

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Garrus rumbled down the stairs in time to catch sight of a small object that was lit up in red. The Asari Spectre seemed surprised. "Backup disk…let's try it on her terminal."

On the screen a recorded call played out. Liara's voice could be heard, and a Salarian on screen spoke back. Once the call was done, Shepard turned to Vasir. "This must be important. The Shadow Broker's people already tried to kill her once."

With a small nod, Vasir locked eyes with the Commander. "I know where the Dracon Trade Center is, my car is just outside."

"Let's go."

As Vasir led the way, Shepard fell back to walk between Garrus and Thane. Her voice was hushed, but filled with energy. "Did you hear that call? Narrowing down where the Broker is to a cluster or system is huge."

Thane nodded. "No one has ever been able to find the Shadow Broker before. If this data is accurate…"

Garrus blinked his ice blue eyes. "Shepard, I know we need to help Liara, but do you think we're getting in a little over our heads on this one?"

Giving her partner a glance that made him draw back a little, Shepard returned her gaze to where Vasir was heading to a golden car. "No. I don't."

* * *

Together the four emerged from the car, climbing the stairs to the Dracon Trade Center. The building rose into the sky where dark clouds were gathering. Shepard and Vasir fell into step with each other, the Asari glancing around.

"Barria Frontier offices are on the third floor…I don't hear any police chatter. We must have missed the party."

As if on cue, the third floor exploded, raining down debris and fire on the civilians below. Shepard took a few steps forward, her blue eyes wide. "Liara's in there!"

A second explosion knocked her back, and before Garrus could get there Thane was offering Shepard his hand to steady herself on. Vasir turned to Shepard once she was upright again. "They just took out three floors to make sure she's dead! I'll grab the sky car and seal off the building from the top."

Turning to watch Vasir, Shepard nodded. "I'll start down here and work my way up!"

"Just be sure to leave some for me!" Vasir joked as the door closed.

Together the trio barreled into the building. Garrus trailed behind as Shepard and Thane charged ahead, with the human spectre making straight for the stairs. It irked him to no end that Thane was taking over the role he'd been playing for all this time. Had he done something wrong? Was Shepard growing tired of him? That thought caused a pit of horror to form in his gut. Had he made a mistake letting himself become so attached to Shepard? Once again all the old doubts came sweeping in, and a feeling of worry and inadequacy swept through the Turian.

Fortunately he didn't have much time to ponder them since Shadow Broker agents were crawling all over the floors closest to the explosion. Shepard started the party in her usual fashion; by using a biotic charge to steamroller over the nearest agent. Garrus hung behind a desk and used his rifle to pick off agents as best he could but he was too distracted to keep his usually perfect aim steady. His talons trembled imperceptibly enough to miss more than once, which just made the Turian frustrated. By the time they had cleared out the last of them, Shepard was throwing him worried looks. Still, she didn't say anything as they headed through the door.

An agent slumped to the ground as Vasir moved into view, holstering her pistol. Her gaze towards the wall alerted the trio to Liara's contact, who appeared to have been shot once. "Damn it, if I had been a few seconds faster I could have stopped them."

Shepard knelt before the dead Salarian as Vasir moved towards the blown open windows. "Is this Liara's contact?"

"Must be." Vasir quipped.

Standing, Shepard shook her head. "There's no sign of that data Liara talked about. Looks like a dead end."

With a small disappointed hum, Vasir glanced back over her shoulder. "Oh, speaking of which, did you find your friend's body?"

Garrus now audibly growled as Shepard went stiff but before either could respond a familiar voice rang through the room.

"You mean this body?" Liara approached, her pistol aimed squarely at Vasir's head.

Quickly, Shepard stepped between the two, blue eyes wide with relief. "Liara, this is Vasir! She's a spectre."

Liara, however only moved closer, past Shepard, her gun not wavering an inch. "This is the woman who tried to kill me!"

Backing up, Vasir chuckled. "You've had a rough day doctor, I'll let that slide. Why don't you put that gun down?"

"I saw you! I doubled back after I left. I watched you break into my apartment." Accused the other Asari, her white armor flickering in the light from the fires. Outside rain had begun to fall, giving the whole scene a very dramatic air.

In a moment of realization Shepard drew her pistol, her voice soft and full of betrayl. "You didn't know where Liara went because she hid the message. You needed me to find it for you."

Moving as one, Thane and Garrus took up positions on each side of the girls, guns at the ready. Nonchalantly shrugging, Vasir didn't break her gaze with Shepard. "Thanks for the help."

A brief look of hurt flashed across Erin's face, but Liara was speaking again, her voice determined and steady. "Once she had my location she signaled the Shadow Broker's forces. They bombed the building to take me out. She found my contact, took his data, and killed him. I'm guessing she still has the disc on her."

Flashing the little disc, Vasir's voice was filled with patronizing charm. "Good guess…Not that you'll ever see what's on it…you pureblood bitch!"

Garrus braced himself as Vasir's biotics cracked the glass window behind her, sending shards at the foursome. However, he didn't need to worry since Liara countered with a strong barrier, causing the glass to fall harmlessly to either side.

Before anyone could react Shepard took off at a dead run after Vasir, tackling her through the window and over the ledge.

"ERIN!" The Turian sprinted to the edge, disregarding the fact that Thane was calling after him. He reached the window just in time to see Vasir kick Shepard in the chest, slamming the brunette specter into the ground. His heart seemed to stop when Shepard didn't move after the fall and Vasir turned to seemingly finish what she had started.

A blur of blue sailed past the Turian and he watched as Liara used her own biotics to dampen her fall, sprinting after the rouge Asari without even looking at Shepard. Whirling, he looked at Thane.

"We need to get down there."

For a moment Thane was silent before he nodded, glowing blue. "Hold still. This may feel…odd."

With his limited biotic ability, Thane lowered Garrus to the floor below; descending on his own once the Turian was safely on the ground. Kneeling beside his fallen partner, Garrus hovered worriedly. "Shepard?"

Groaning, Erin rose, shaking her head. A wave of relief shot through Garrus's body. She met his worried gaze but there was no time to talk as the door across the way from them opened, spilling out more Shadow Broker agents.

Swiftly they dove for cover, Shepard glancing across at where Garrus and Thane were hunkered behind the same piece of rubble. "We need to get after her!"

Doing his best to give Shepard what she called a 'thumbs up' Garrus nodded, popping up and putting a shot into the chest of the nearest soldier. Still, he was shaken by what had just happened. Shepard could have been seriously hurt - she was lucky that she wasn't – and he couldn't protect her. What kind of mate was he?

Racing through the halls after Vasir and Liara, Garrus found himself doubting more and more his ability to be a good mate for Shepard. She kept claiming that all she needed was him, just the way he was but why could he never believe that?

The trio skidded into the outer courtyard where Liara and Vasir were taking shots at each other from behind parked cars. A flash of gold caught Shepard's gaze and she spotted the car they'd arrived in with the Asari Spectre. Nimbly Vasir leapt into the car, heading off into the sky.

"Damn it!" Liara cursed, heading for the nearest open car.

Shepard followed, sliding into the driver's seat. "I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking."

Garrus froze, feeling the hostility practically radiating off Shepard. He'd only seen her like this a few times before, and he wasn't entirely sure it was safe for him to get in the car with her. However, he wasn't about to be given a chioice when Shepard turned to them.

"Garrus, you're with me. Thane, head back to the Normandy and keep us on the down low. I don't need Shadow Broker agents getting in there too."

Warily, Garrus crawled into the back seat. Unforunately, his fears were pretty much confirmed as the car jerked into the sky. Surprisingly enough, Cerberus didn't see a point to giving Shepard some sort of improved driving skills when they brought her back from the dead. By the time Shepard had forced Vasir's car out of the sky in a smoking mess, the poor Turian had put dents into the seats out of sheer terror. He practically threw himself out of the car when they landed but there was no time to be thankful for solid ground. The two ladies were already hot on the trail of Vasir, following the trail of blue blood spatters.

"Vasir! It's over!" Liara called as they caught up with the wounded Spectre. Garrus could see even from this far away she was hurt pretty badly.

Turning, it looked as though Vasir was about to fight when she grabbed a nearby waitress. "What's your name?"

"M-Marianna."

"Marianna… You want to live, don't you? Tell those people that you want to live. " Purred Vasir.

The poor girl locked eyes with Shepard, who hadn't moved an inch since pulling her pistol.

"P-Please…"

Garrus had to feel sorry for the poor girl. She hadn't asked for this situation…she'd been dragged into it. In a brief moment, he thought that maybe Shepard felt like that most of the time. But now Shepard spoke, her voice calm and soothing.

"I'll get you out of here safely Marianna."

And damn, Garrus wasn't even the one being held hostage and he had to believe her.

Vasir smirked cruelly. "Well, that's good to hear. All you had to do was walk away. Now it gets ugly." Her pistol moved from Shepard to Marianna's head.

This was not the poor girl's day. She began to cry, tears glittering in the Illium sunset. "Please…I have a son…"

"A son…" Vasir's voice rang across the now abandoned patio. "I hope he gets to see you again. I hear losing a parent is just horrific for children. Scars them for life."

Liara spoke before Shepard could. "I'm going to end you, Vasir."

"It's okay Liara. We'll handle it...The usual way." Shepard's voice was stony and cold, which gave Garrus an idea as to how much the remark about parents hurt. Vasir had probably intended the barb for Liara, who had to watch her own mother die, but Shepard had lost both parents.

Now Garrus was nervous as he watched the three females face off. "You want Marianna's little boy to grow up without a Mommy, Shepard? Thermal clips on the ground, now. Power cells too."

Erin didn't bat an eyelid. "Is that it?"

"What?" Vasir's voice echoed the confusion that Garrus felt. Shepard usually was all about peace and keeping civilians safe…was she seriously considering harming this woman?

She went on, the wind ruffling her short brown hair just the slightest. "Vasir, I sacrificed hundreds of human lives to save the Destiny Ascension. I unleashed the Rachni on the galaxy. So for your sake I hope your escape plan doesn't hinge on me hesitating to shoot a damn hostage."

The Turian felt his mandibles go slack and his jaw hit the floor. He knew Shepard was pissed about Liara just leaving her there, but this was way out of line. He was so astonished that he almost missed the table being lifted behind Vasir as she pulled her gun away from Marianna.

"You're bluffing!" The other spectre accused, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

Erin didn't even dignify the other woman with a reply. "Now Liara."

With precision that only a biotic master can Liara flung the table so that Vasir was knocked away and Marianna left unhurt. However, Vasir wasn't going to go down that easily, no matter how many wounds she had sustained in the car crash.

Shooing the frightened human out of the way, Shepard dove down towards the other woman, her pistol cracking off shots as fast as she could. Like well oiled machine, Garrus moved opposite to Shepard, taking just as many shots as she was with his rifle. Liara, in all her rage was doing serious damage with her own biotic attacks. All across the patio the trio chased Vasir, with Shepard diving through pools of water at times to reach the Asari.

Abruptly Garrus saw Shepard flung backwards into one of these pools, freezing until she pulled herself out of the water, shaking her now soaked hair and sputtering. Locking eyes with him, she staggered towards the edge of the pool. "Now Vakarian, shoot her!"

The shot went off like a cannon in the empty space; the final blow for Vasir. She staggered to a wall and slumped against it, cursing as she did so. Coolly, Liara approached and plucked the data disc off Vasir's hip, turning to Shepard as she approached.

"This is my contact's personal data pad. This has what we need to find the Shadow Broker."

As they made to leave, Vasir spoke, her voice strained. "You're dead. The Shadow Broker has been in power for decades. He's stronger than anything you've ever faced."

Garrus stood beside Liara at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at Shepard. Her hair looked almost black now that it was wet, and she glanced back at Vasir. "Is that why you sold out the Council to work for him?"

"You think I betrayed the Council? Like Saren?" Asked Vasir, "Go to hell. The Broker's given me damn good intel over the years. Intel that's saved lives and kept the Citadel safe. So if the Broker needs a few people to 'disappear', I'll pay that price without hesitation."

Shepard was now only a few feet from Vasir, and she made a motion at the slumped Asari before her. "Spectres don't blow up buildings filled with innocent people!"

From where she sat, Vasir glared up at the human. "Sure we do. We get our hands dirty so the Council doesn't have to. The Councilors might complain about our methods to soothe their consciousnesses, but they never look too closely. Besides, you're with Cerberus. Do you have any idea what your terrorist friends have done?"

If anything she said was sure to set off Shepard, that had to be it. Kneeling, Shepard's rich blue gaze was fierce as she stared down the dying Asari. "I know who they are and what they've done. It doesn't matter."

"I think it does." Vasir countered, her voice haughty despite her predicament. "You want to judge me? Look in the kids for biotic death camps? Killing Alliance Admirals who ask questions? And you're with them. Don't you dare judge me. Don't you…"

Her voice trailed off as the Asari died. Shepard stood, her back to Garrus for a long time. Slowly, the Turian ascended a few steps, his voice hesitant.

"Shep?"

Erin took a deep breath. "Where's Liara?"

"She's in the other room, looking at the data." Garrus's voice was softer now. "Shep, are you okay?"

Nodding, Erin turned and faced him at last. "I…I'm fine. I need to talk to Liara."

Sweeping past him, Erin made her way to the doorway Garrus had indicated. The Turian trailed a good distance behind when entering ,the synthesized voice of the Shadow Broker ringing off the walls. As she approached Liara glanced at her.

"Vasir's dead."

Without even acknowledging that statement, Liara tapped at her Omni-Tool. "I'm putting the data through to the Normandy's computers. We can be at the Shadow Broker's base in a few hours. He'll know about Vasir before long."

As the Asari moved away, Shepard followed as she spoke. "If he decides to kill…"

Placing a hand on her old teammate's shoulder, Shepard tried to catch her eye. "We'll get Feron out of there alive Liara. I promise."

Still, Liara moved away, not meeting her old commander's eyes. "I know…you're here to help. Just like always."

At last she turned to look at Shepard, who offered a small smile. "That's…not a good thing?"

Her humor didn't seem to break the tension as Liara went on. "When we first met on Therum, you saved me from the Geth. You fought a Krogan Battlemaster while I cowered. Now you're doing it again. And I'm still leaning on you for help."

"That's what friends do Liara." Shepard stated, her voice full of emotion.

Liara, however turned away and began walking again, leaving Shepard to catch up. "I can get us there based on my contact's data. The Normandy's stealth drive will keep them from detecting us. The Shadow Broker's agents are still shooting their way through Illium. With luck, they won't notice we've left until it's too late."

Pulling up, Shepard frowned. "That's a little cold. They killed innocent people."

With the sunset throwing golden shadows across the pair, Liara turned. "You know what I mean."

"Do I?" Shepard approached, anger flaring up. "When I hit the ground back at the trade center you went after Vasir without a backward look."

Flustered, Liara blinked rapidly, moving to lean against the railing. "A little fall wasn't going to kill you. I had to stay on Vasir. I had to stay rational. Make the call…Like I did with my contact."

Standing beside her, Shepard gazed out over the skyline of Illium. "That's Vasir's fault, not yours."

"My contact had no idea what the stakes were. I put him in harm's way to get the data I needed. I got him killed…and I'd do it again." She straightened. "But from here on out things will be simple. Get in, get Feron, get out."

The pair began to move past the burning car that Vasir had arrived in when Liara spoke again.

"And kill anyone who tries to stop us."

Once again, Shepard's voice went hard. "That's it?"

In the same tone, Liara responded. "That's it."

Abruptly pulling up, Shepard frowned. "Would you just stop for a second?"

Liara turned to look at Shepard, who was growing ever more frustrated with the woman she'd always considered a good friend. "We'll be jumping several light years, there's time to talk."

Stepping closer, the Asari seemed to soften and yet guard herself more at the same time. "What do you want me to say Shepard? That I mourned you? That I feel guilty because Feron got captured? I made mistakes. I lost people. I helped get you back, and I want to do the same for Feron! I'll sit and talk once he's safe. Until then, sitting and enjoying the scenery is an insult to the man who saved both ofus."

For a long moment Shepard was silent before she quietly nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

Taking the lead, Liara went ahead to prepare the sky car. Garrus drew level with Shepard, his ice blue eyes curious. "Are you all right Erin?"

For the first time since beginning the mission, a flicker of a smile crossed the brunette's face. Gently, she brushed her fingers along the back of Garrus's talons. "Yeah. Let's just finish this."


	42. Long Shot

Inspired by Kelly Clarkson's "Long Shot"

Tried to follow Shep more than Garrus, but it was hard. XP

* * *

_**Long Shot**_

Gliding through the darkness of space, the Normandy approached a small planet hidden away in the edge of the galaxy. Hovering in orbit, the crew dispatched the Kodiak and descended into the atmosphere. In the back, Garrus sat across from Shepard and Liara. The Asari was quiet, glancing out the window as they entered a massive thunderstorm, eventually coming up alongside a massive ship.

"Havalas," She said simply, "The oceans boil during the day, then snap freeze ten minutes after sundown."

Shaking her head in disbelief, Shepard looked out the window. "The Shadow Broker lives in this?"

With a shrug, Liara shifted in her seat. "His ship follows the sunset, completely undetectable in the storm…unless you know where to look."

While the storm buffeted the little craft, Shepard crossed her arms over her chest. "So how do we get inside?"

"The shuttle bay is locked down. We need to land on the ship and hunt for a hatch." Both women stood and approached the window, the clouds roiling outside. "We can't stay outside for long. There's a constant lightning storm where the hot and cold air collide."

Erin turned away from the window and approached Garrus. The Turian had been very quiet since returning from Illium, locking himself in the Main Battery until Shepard had come to get him for the mission.

"Hey."

The blue eyed Turian lifted his gaze to where Shepard had extended her hand towards him. Fluttering his mandibles into the tiniest of smiles, he took her hand with the lightest of touches. "Hey."

For a long moment, the pair was silent. Garrus still wasn't sure he was enough for her, and to some degree Shepard knew he was having a crisis. Still, she wouldn't say a word until the mission was over. To some degree, the pair was aware that Liara was watching them hold hands. Outside the wind howled around the tiny little craft as they approached the landing point on the ship.

Gently, Shepard extracted her hand from Garrus's. "We should get ready."

Nodding, the Turian stood and donned his helmet. The door of the shuttle opened, buffeting the trio with strong winds. Hurriedly the three leapt from the Kodiak in time to see it be pulled out and back into the atmosphere.

"It's hard to pinpoint in this lightning but…I'm picking up signals from a communications array near the back of the ship. There's nothing below but maintenance equipment. We have to find an entrance near the back shielding."

Garrus couldn't see, but he could tell that Shepard was rolling her eyes, exasperated. Something about the way she moved and was acting told the Turian that she was just tired and wanted nothing more than to be done with this mission. Still, Shepard's nature wouldn't allow her to leave things the way they were…she was in this till the end.

Together the three plowed their way through waves of lightning, wind, and Shadow Broker agents. Momentarily Garrus was drawn back to the times when the three of them would go exploring on some far off planet. Now those days were gone…they were always on a mission, always had a purpose. There were no more trips to planets just to see what was there. No spur of the moment diversions.

Of course Garrus had to admit that while he enjoyed the sense of purpose that missions gave them and he knew that Shepard liked having an objective to work towards those little diversions made everything worthwhile. Just to go down to the planet and play around in the Mako…

Shepard's voice cut across the com systems as Liara ducked towards a door. "How long will it take to get in?"

"I don't know. I've never broken into the Shadow Broker's lair before!" Liara glanced backwards, mischief dancing in her blue eyes. "Well, not this one anyway."

As more Shadow Broker agents poured towards them Garrus took a moment to watch Shepard. He loved the way she moved, he fully admitted it. Shepard wasn't like most soldiers who were trained a certain way and they simply did those memorized movements, she flowed and adapted like water. Beside her Liara fought just as well, the two women's biotics playing off each other and glowing brightly in the half light from the storm.

In a momentary lull, Shepard glanced over at Liara as she said something, and in that instant she laughed. He couldn't hear it and most of her face was obscured by the helmet she wore but he could tell that her face had lit up like the Citadel lights. If he hadn't been in the midst of fighting for his life, Garrus probably would have kissed her right then and there.

Once the door had opened the three strode in, Shepard leading the way as calmly as she would if she were walking around on the Normandy. Of course, that worked for maybe a minute before a rocket streaked right past Shepard's face, forcing all of them into cover. Despite what he'd told anyone else, Garrus still had a mild fear of the thing that had nearly killed him.

Working their way through, Liara spoke softly as they cleared out the last of the agents. "This next door should lead to the prison block…and Feron."

Without another word, Shepard began to hack the door, her fingers nimble over the tiny circuits. She was rewarded with a soft click as the door opened, allowing her to proceed into the actual cell block. All three entered with guns drawn but just inside the door Shepard froze, lowering her gun and a look of sheer distress crossing her face. Liara noticed, turned and the same look of anguish crossed her face as well.

"Feron!"

Below, the sage green Drell twitched, his voice raspy as he looked towards the familiar sound. "Liara?"

Breaking into a sprint, the Asari practically dove for the orange control panel in the center of the room. "Hold on, we're getting you out of here."

In awe, Feron watched as Liara began to work at the console. Weakly, he shook his head. "No…"

His warning was too late. Electricity racked his body and he cried out in pain, which seemed to cause Liara a considerable amount of distress if her face was any indicator. Feron slumped back in his chair, still imprisoned and smoking.

Warily backing away from the console, Liara's voice was soft. "Feron…"

"What the hell is the Broker trying to do to you?" Exclaimed Shepard, her voice brimming with barely controlled fury.

Settling back into his prison, Feron sighed. "The equipment is sensitive to tampering. This equipment plugs into the Broker's info network. You have to shut off the power. Pull me out now and my brain cooks."

Slowly Liara seemed to become more and more flustered. "Do you know where we can cut the power?"

Exhausted, Feron seemed to tremble a little. "It won't be easy. You have to go to central operations."

Still, Shepard was not satisfied with the answers she was getting just from observation alone. "What's the point of this cage?"

"I don't-AUGH!"

As the shocks subsided, Liara turned to Erin. "It's a neural grounding rod. The medical equipment is to make sure he doesn't…expire. We have to shut this place down!"

"Where did the Broker get the mercs?"

Settling in his chair once more, Feron looked around. "Raised his own private force. They're completely loy-"

Once more he was cut off by shocks. Even Garrus, who had seen some pretty atrocious things in his time on Omega found himself a little more than appalled.

Liara glanced sideways. "Shepard, we really don't have the time."

With an understanding nod, Shepard turned to Feron one more time. "What do you know about the Broker?"

"He did this to me." Snarled Feron, hatred radiating from every fiber of his being.

Erin exhaled softly. "I was hoping you'd know what he is…"

As if realizing his mistake, Feron shook his head. "I never got a good look. All I know is he's big. The guards are terrified of him."

"A Krogan?" Ventured Liara.

The Drell locked eyes with the Asari beside Shepard. "I don't know. But not everyone who visits his office comes back out."

That was everything Shepard needed to know. Fiercely, she nodded. "Easy or not, we're all getting out of here."

Slumping back, Feron sounded exhausted. "Good…Central Operations is down the hall. You know the Shadow Broker is waiting for you, right?"

"I'm counting on it."

If Garrus didn't know better, he would have said that the commander sounded almost…smug? Was that the proper human emotion? Still, he pushed it out of his mind as Liara went on. "We'll be back for you Feron."

"I'll try not to go anywhere."

Resisting the urge to laugh, Garrus followed the two ladies out of the prison, casting one final look back at Feron. From here, he looked so much like Thane it was a little scary. The look on Shepard's face when she'd walked in flashed through the Turain's mind and he wondered if she had made the connection before him. Had she looked down at the man they were to rescue and thought of Thane?

There was no time to think about it. Shepard was practically kicking down the door to the Shadow Broker's office and a thrill of excitement shot through the air. She paused in the center of the room, pistol drawn and aimed squarely at the hulking figure that was, what Garrus presumed, the Shadow Broker. A few glances were thrown back and forth before a deep voice reverberated through the room.

"Here for the Drell. Reckless…Even for you, Commander."

If his voice scared her, Shepard didn't show it. A smirk painted itself across her face for a moment before she spoke. "Not reckless, just determined. Ask your Asari spectre about that."

The Broker was so still behind his desk that Garrus was half convinced that he was a puppet. "Vasir was expendable. All her death cost me was time."

"Expendable?" Liara asked, her voice brimming with rage. "Like Feron?"

At last the Broker addressed Liara directly. "Doctor T'Soni. Your interference caused all this. Feron betrayed me when he handed you Shepard's body. The Drell is simply paying the price."

"Someone was bound to come after you for working with the Collectors." Stated Erin, a sense of pride seeming to radiate off her.

Now the Broker seemed a little miffed. "It was a mutually beneficial partnership. Fortunately the Normandy's IFF will let me salvage the remains of the Collector's base."

Garrus could have laughed. While he knew Joker would protect the Normandy to the last, the Broker would have to go through Shepard first. She truly loved that ship, even if it wasn't the original. He remained silent though as Shepard, true to her fashion, tried for a non-violent conclusion. "Be smart. Let Feron walk out with us."

"You won't be walking out at all."

Liara, however, would have none of that. "You're quite confident for someone who has nowhere left to hide!"

Tossing her a casual glance, the Broker finally seemed to acknowledge Garrus as well. "You travel with fascinating companions, Doctor. It's good you brought Archangel, T'Soni. Your friend's bounty is still unclaimed."

In the moment of silence Garrus paused, about to stop himself from growling when he realized that for once, he wasn't the one making the noise. To his utter amazement, Shepard was snarling in a way that would have had any other male – Turian or not – running for cover.

Leave it to Liara to voice what Shepard couldn't actually put into words at the moment. "You're not putting a hand on anyone!"

The battle of minds seemed to shift to Liara and the Shadow Broker as he turned all his attention back to her. "It's pointless to challenge me Asari. I know your every secret, while you fumble in the dark?"

"Is that right?" Sneered Liara, giving the Broker a quick once over before barreling on. "You're a Yharg, a pre-space flight species quarantined to their home world for massacring the Council's first contact team. This base is older than your planets discovery. Which probably means you killed the original Shadow Broker sixty years ago, then took over. I'm guessing you were taken from your world by a trophy hunter who wanted a slave…or a pet. How am I doing?"

After spending so much time with Grunt and Wrex, Garrus would have liked to think that he could recognize when an attack was coming. Especially from Wrex, who could be so quiet and then abruptly unfold into spectacular displays of violence. But as the broker stood, towering over the trio, Garrus could only stare in awe at how massive he was.

Of course, this awe was cut short by a table being flung straight into Garrus's face. The last thing he heard was Shepard's yell of rage and then, nothing but black.

* * *

When Garrus awoke, it was not to a peaceful and quiet room, but to the sounds of intense combat. Blearily, he glanced around, juding that he'd only been out for a few minutes before locking onto Shepard.

Shepard, in true Shepard fasion, was fighting against the Broker hand to hand, the frail looking human giving back blow for blow what the Broker was dishing out. They struggled in the center of the room, the ceiling crackling above them. With a swiftness that surprised even Garrus, Shepard ducked beneath the Broker's massive arm, rolling to the shadows of the room.

"Liara, now!"

The Asari wasted no time while the Broker was confused. Using her impressive biotic ability, she brought the ceiling raining down upon him, lightning and energy pouring into the creature's body. In a flash of blue light, the Broker exploded, tossing Shepard back like a rag doll. As the dust settled, Liara approached, hesitated for a moment, and then offered her hand. Grateful, Shepard took it and rose, moving quickly towards the downed Turian.

Trembling a little, Garrus started to sit up, rising as Shepard approached him. For a long moment, the pair searched the other's face for some sign that anything was wrong. Opening his mouth to give a smart remark, Garrus found himself silenced as Shepard slammed into him, burying her face in his chest and snaking her arms around his waist tightly.

The gesture was simple, but it spoke volumes about how Shepard felt. It was over in an instant as chatter began to come in over the radio, desperate for information about what had happened. Both Erin and Garrus froze as Liara stared down the terminal before finally moving, opening a small tool.

"This is the Shadow Broker." She stated, the program automatically filtering it into the voice of the Broker. "The situation is under control. We experienced a power fluxuation while upgrading hardware. It disrupted communications momentarily."

A side door burst open and Feron stumbled in, pulling his pistol as he went but freezing at the sight of Liara bending over the console.

"However, we are now back online. Resume standard procedures. I want a status report on all operations within the next solar day. Shadow Broker, out."

FEron seemed just as stunned as everyone else in the room as he approached. "Goddess of Oceans…it's you. You…how?"

Wearily, Liara turned to face them. "Well…everyone who's ever seen him in person is dead. So…"

Clutching his side, Feron couldn't keep the awe out of his voice. "You're…the new Shadow Broker."

Slwoly, Shepard moved forward. "Is taking over as the Shadow Broker really a good idea?"

"It was either that or lose everything." Reasoned the Asari. "His contacts, his trading sources…those will really help us. With the Shadow Broker's information network I can…I can give you…I can…"

Liara turned away and Freon shifted uncomfortably. "I'll…check the power systems."

Garrus reluctantly followed along with Feron. Some things were best left to the girls, and he had a feeling that this emotional stuff was one of them. As he went, he cast a glance backwards and smiled at Shepard. She returned the smile and then moved her attention to Liara.

Gently, Shepard placed a hand on Liara's shoulder, turning the Asari to face her. Glittering tear tracsk ran down the other woman's cheeks. "It's over…It's finally…for two years…"

And it was true. Pulling Liara close, Shepard glanced up at the ceiling, feeling her own tears threatening to fall. After two years, Liara could find some peace…maybe she would as well.

"It's all right…" Whispered the spectre, and in a way, she was trying to assure herself of that as well.

Pulling away, Liara nodded. "Okay…we should focus. Let's see what our options are."

Together the women approached the main console, staring over the vast systems that comprised the Shadow Broker's network. It was impressive, even to someone who didn't fully understand the technology. Pride tinged Liara's voice as she spoke. "No safeguards…it's like he never expected anyone else to be in here. And it's all ours…"

Fighting back a grin, Shepard toyed with her hands. "Are you sure you want to stay here? I could use you on the Normandy."

Part of her was truly hoping that she would accept. It would be like having the old crew together again…well, not quite. But closer. Closer was better than nothing.

Still, the blue skinned alien shook her head. "I have to stay here. We can't pass this up Shepard. All I wanted was to rescue FEron but…is it wrong that part of me wants this? With the Shadow Broker's network I can help you. Maybe I can turn this operation into something…better!"

The grin Shepard had been trying to contain spread across her face. This sounded like the old Liara, the one she'd rescued from a Prothean dig site all those years ago. "Don't be a stranger this time."

Laughing, Liara smiled back. "Small chance of that."

For a long moment they were silent before Erin glanced at where the boys had disappeared. "How do you think Feron's doing?"

Now the other woman's voice was soft, tender almost. "As well as you'd expect. After two years of intermitant torture."

"He going to be okay?"

Shaking her head, Liara turned back to look at Shepard. "I don't know."

Erin's eyes glinted mischeviously. "So…You and Feron…"

Liara's eyes went as wide as saucers and she flushed a deep purple. "No! He's been through a traumatic ordeal…he's emotionally fragile and needs to heal. I'm sure he's very grateful to me for saving him…but it would be irresponsible of me to take advantage of that."

Smothering her disbelief, Erin nodded a little. Even though she knew something else was there, she would let Liara have her way. She was right, after all. Some wounds just needed time to heal. "Well, it's been really good to see you again…just let me know if you need anything."

"I think…" Liara said hesitantly, "What I need right now is a friend. I won't be able to leave for too long but spending all my time on this ship…maybe next time you come by I could come over to the Normandy?"

This seemed to brighten Erin considerably. "Sounds great! Why don't you just come up now?"

* * *

The loft was a perfect place to have some girl time, Shepard decided, pouring out two glasses of red wine. Garrus had disappeared with Feron and the ship recorded that he'd returned to the Normandy since then, which eased her mind a bit. Still, she was more excited to see Liara again now that they weren't fighting for their lives.

Glancing up as Liara entered, she beamed. "Did you enjoy the tour?"

After a moment of studying the fish tank, Liara smiled back. "Yes. It's a beautiful ship. And I ran into Joker! He seemed happy to see me. Although…he did ask if I'd 'embraced eternity' lately."

Embarassed, Erin rubbed at the back of her neck. "Of course he did…"

Now Liara turned to take in the various models Shepard had accumulated over her travels. While Erin fully admitted she didn't have the patience to put them together, she found that it was a good activity to do with Garrus. He could put them together and she could read the instructions to him. "I also spoke with Doctor Chakwas. I'm glad she's doing well. I…I brought you something. It took some work, but I got you new dog tags."

She offered a small frame with shiny, stainless steel dog tags resting against a periwinkle blue backdrop. Reveretnly, Erin took them, gaping. "T-Thank you…I thought I'd never…" She trailed off.

Pleased, Liara smiled. "Do you remember Admiral Hackett? He gave them to me so I could get them to you. He sends his best, and hopes you're okay."

Silence filled the cabin for a moment before Liara met Erin's gaze once more. "So…how are you actually doing Shepard? I mean, really. Not what you tell your squad to keep morale up."

Leaning against her work space, Erin took a moment to let her gaze linger on the pressed flowers that Garrus had once covered her room in. "Between you and me? I have no idea how I'm going to do this. I'm doing everything I can, but…"

"You've done more than most." Assured Liara as Erin moved towards the couch. "You and your team destroyed the Collector base and walked out alive."

Smirking at the memory, Erin nodded. "We fought them in their own base and we won. They can't call us young or primitive anymore."

"Young?" Liara's tone was light with barely concealed laughter. "You know I'm one hundred and eight…one hundred and nine in a couple of months…It's funny. Finally just the two of us and we still end up talking about everyone but ourselves. So tell me what you want."

The question threw Erin for a loop. "What I want?"

Placing a hand on her hip, Liara nodded. "What are you fighting for? A chance to give Garrus some peace?"

Blood seemed to rush to the commander's cheeks, and she knew she'd gone bright pink. Still, she had to admit that she couldn't be happier. Even so, she turned to sit on the bed. "He's been hurt…betrayed. He deserves something better. I never thought I'd find peace in the arms of a Turian, but…"

"Why not?" Liara countered, eyes bright. "Humans seem to have no trouble finding Asari attractive."

"Everyone finds Asari attractive."

This seemed to amuse Liara, but she went on. "I hope the two of you find some happiness Shepard. I should get back to my base but thanks for inviting me up Shepard. I uploaded some information the Broker had about your crew to your terminal…just in case."

For a long moment, the two embraced as friends. As she strode out, Erin quietly watched her go.

"Come back soon…"


	43. Basket Case

Inspired by Sara Bareilles' "Basket Case"

I know I've been updating like crazy. This chapter seems so short compared to the last two, which are the longest I've written in this story to date. But I really wanted to get this one out since I have a good idea of what's going to happen next. Also, Mass Effect 3 trailer just aired on Spike TV! It's on youtube if you want to watch and the release date is some time late in 2011! I'm hopeful that it won't get pushed back to 2012, but I'm super excited! Another year to go before I can really continue this tale, but it's worth it since the trailer looks so good. In the meantime, enjoy.

* * *

_**Basket Case**_

After leaving the Shadow Broker's old lair behind and in the care of Liara, the team seemed to kick repair efforts up a notch. The ship had barely made it from the Citadel to Illium, much less the trip from Illium to the Shadow Broker's lair. This meant that Shepard and Garrus had barely seen each other due to the flurry of activity. Still, when they did manage to steal away a minute or two Shepard felt…frustrated with her Turian boyfriend. She could tell he knew she was upset about something but she didn't want to say anything until they had more time together. And it wasn't anything he'd done, but…

Liara had left her information about her crew from the Shadow Broker and Shepard, curious as she was, couldn't resist looking through the data. What she had found was…enlightening was an understatement. From Miranda's desperate search for a child to the things Garrus had never told her…it was mostly that last bit that had her on edge.

His last text exchange had been about his mother…the mother he'd told Shepard had died years ago in a lab accident. And a sister that was most certainly not the one he'd mentioned to her. He was keeping secrets from her, but Shepard didn't know why.

With the ship now docked at Illium, Erin had given all nonessential crew members some time off, which they had gratefully taken. Of course, this left her sitting alone in her cabin looking over the data once more.

She needed to speak with Garrus about it, that much was certain. The brunette stood with a heavy sigh but before she could even make a move for the door it opened, revealing the very Turian she had wanted to see.

Blinking, Erin stared at Garrus. "Oh, wow, I was just about to go get you."

Usually this was about the point where one would make a clever remark, they would laugh, and then curl up together for a long talk or – if they were feeling a little ambitious – perhaps something more romantic. However, Garrus hovered just inside the door, as nervous as he had been the first time he'd come up for romantic reasons.

He fidgeted with his hands for a moment before meeting Shepard's gaze. "Shepard…is something wrong?"

Well, it appeared that Shepard had taught Garrus almost too well. Sighing, she dropped the act of trying to be happy. "Actually…yeah. The Shadow Broker had some intel about the crew, so Liara passed it on to me and I looked it over. Including your files."

Across from her, Garrus stiffened. It was as if he were becoming more defensive by the moment, but Shepard persisted.

"There were transmissions…ones right before the Omega Four jump."

Both seemed to be staring each other down, sizing the other up for a moment before Erin stepped forward. "Garrus, what is going on? I read about your mother, who is apparently sick, and who you told me was dead! And a sister that you never mentioined to me? Is there anything else I should be aware of?"

Taking a half step back, Garrus bristled. "Why the hell were you even going through my private transmissions Shepard? That's my personal business, you had no right to look it over!"

Blue eyes flashing dangerously, Erin didn't back down. "Oh, don't even start! You took samples of Collector tissue and just gave them away, so don't even get me started on that!"

Unfortunately, neither did Garrus, the Turian's voice rising. "That's none of your business Shepard, just let it be! It's a family matter, all right?"

"I want to help!" Pleaded Shepard, now moving from anger to frustration.

"You can't help!" Snarled Garrus, moving forward. "Nobody can help! This is my battle and for once you can't come in and be the hero! So why don't you just let it be and leave me alone!"

Wincing as though he'd physically struck her, Shepard shook her head. "No, Garrus, it's not-"

The Turian would have none of it though. He was angry, his mandibles fluttering agitatedly. "That's how you always are Shepard. You come in and play the hero because you like it! You like being able to save someone. But you can't save me! You can't save my mom, and that's killing you. So why don't you go chat with Thane, since you two seemed so close last mission."

Wounded, Erin's anger returned again. "Is that why you've been pissy? Because I brought Thane with on the last mission with us?"

"Oh don't act like you didn't realize what you were like with him!" Garrus countered back, rolling his eyes. "You had him by your side the whole time. You didn't even stop when he kept calling you '_siha_' because I bet you like it!"

Tossing her hands in the air, exasperated, Erin exhaled agitatedly. "I don't even know what it means! It's just a name, it doesn't mean anything! Why is this such a big deal? I just wanted to know why you didn't tell me about your mom!"

Garrus began pacing back and forth, which made him look almost like a panther on the hunt. "You deliberately went and looked at my private things Shepard! I think that's a big deal! I'm not some book you can just go through and pick out what you want! I'm allowed to have my own secrets too. And I don't need your help so you can just back off!"

That last insult was practically hurled at Shepard, who looked more hurt than anything. "Y-You don't mean that."

Chest heaving, Garrus glared at her. That was all the answer Shepard needed to see and without another word she swept from the room, into the elevator and down to the CIC. Ignoring Kelly's calls after her, Erin grabbed a jacket from where she'd left one draped across the back of a chair.

"Hey Commander, where you going?"

"OUT!" Erin yelled back to Joker, her voice choked with the tears she refused to let fall. The door to the Normandy opened and she raced out into the Illium sunset.


	44. Mine

Inspired by Taylor Swift's "Mine"

Super updating mode, GOOOOOOO! Also, Jacob/Miranda and Tali/Kal FTW.

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_**Mine**_

Garrus sat in the mess hall, playing with his food. In the back of his mind, he was still fuming over what Shepard had done. How dare she go through his private communications! Who gave her the right to do that?

Still, he had to admit that he felt…well, sort of shitty for blowing up at her. Not that she hadn't deserved it, he reasoned, but he missed her. And maybe the jab about Thane had been a bit of a low blow but she had been all over him. How did she expect the Turian to react?

Resignedly pushing away his food, Garrus glanced around the mess. Since Shepard had given the crew the day off they had congregated here to chat and enjoy themselves, making the room much noisier than usual. Usually Garrus would be hiding out in the Main Battery but for some reason he wanted to be out here, relaxing.

Taking a look around, the Turian let his gaze fall on where Jacob and Miranda were seated together. The dark haired woman was trying to play the part of commanding officer while Shepard wasn't around, but Jacob was having none of it. Playfully, he pulled her into his lap, eliciting a protest or two from Miranda. Flashing Miranda his most charming smile, Jacob captured her lips in a kiss, effectively silencing her.

This simple gesture caused a twinge of jealousy to shoot through the Turian. He wasn't attracted to humans – Shepard excluded – but still…it reminded him of all the things he wanted to do with Shepard. He wanted to be the one that made her laugh like that, the one who pulled her close and knew exactly what buttons to push to get her to do anything.

"Garrus? Are you all right?"

Blinking, Garrus glanced up to see Tali standing before him, a container of food clasped firmly in her hands. He nodded, trying to collect himself as she sat across from him. "Yeah, just fine."

The Quarian seemed to want to reply but her Omni-Tool beeped pleasantly, causing her to almost drop her food on the floor in her rush to get the message. Stifling a chuckle, Garrus shook his head. "Let me guess…Kal?"

Not even the Quarian visor could hide the blush that spread over her face. "He's been so good about keeping in contact…I hope that this is…well…"

She trailed off into silence, her attention fully focused on the message. Garrus sighed, shaking his head. Of course she would have found someone who was so utterly devoted to her the way Kal was. He was a good man, he would admit that much. Briefly he wondered if Shepard was this flustered and cute when she talked about him to other guys. He'd almost dismissed the idea when Erin's voice rang through his head.

_"Garrus may be different, but he's everything I've ever wanted. He thinks I'm beautiful and incredible and funny and irresistible! I've got a terrible attention span and he puts up with it. He cares about me because of all the reasons you don't, and that's more than any other human has been able to do. I've made my decision, and it's him."_

Guilt seemed to strike the Turian like a hammer. Of course she cared. How could he have been so callous and forgotten that? She'd gone and said that in the middle of a crowded café, not just to a former crew member in private. Hell, Erin had practically shouted it for the world to hear.

"Tali?"

The lilac clad Quarian held up a finger while she finished composing her reply to Kal. Once she finished, she turned her attention to Garrus. "What is it Garrus?"

Toying with his food a little, the Turian seemed a little taken aback. "Shepard…does she ever talk about me to you?"

Obviously this wasn't what the Quarian expected, since she settled back in her seat, confused. "Well, yes, not much, but…"

"What does she say?" The words were out of Garrus' mouth before he could stop himself. Still, he waited patiently for an answer.

Hesitating for a moment, Tali leaned closer and lowering her voice. "She…She said that you were the best thing that had ever happened to her."

There it was. The one thing Garrus had wanted to hear and at the same time, not wanted to hear. Groaning, he rested his head in his hands.

"G-Garrus? Are you all right?" Tali asked, flustered at her friend's distress.

Shaking his head, Garrus glanced up. "No…Shepard and I had a fight and I…well, I said some things that were pretty harsh. I was just…angry and I didn't think."

Tali sighed, the sound filtered through her suit. "Keelah…how bad?"

"Shouting match. She left and I haven't seen her since."

Now it was Tali's turn to put her head in her hands, if only for a moment. "Keelah. She must be upset…what will you do?"

Rubbing at his fringe, Garrus sighed heavily. "I don't know. I…I feel bad, but I'm not sure if I want to apologize because part of me feels justified in yelling. But…I look at her and I just know she's the best thing I'll ever get."

"So tell her."

Her statement was so simple, so perfect that Garrus wondered why he had never considered it before. "That works?"

Obviously stifling laughter, Tali patted Garrus's arm. "Tell you what, try it when she comes back and let me know how it works out for you."


	45. The Way I Am

Inspired by Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am"

Expanding a little on the Garrus/Shepard/Thane triangle. I know I've been updating like crazy, but I'm trying to get stuff in before the holidays hit. For all my readers who are Jewish, happy late Hanukkah!

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_**The Way I Am**_

Thane Krios was the kind of man that any woman would have killed to have. He was smart, hard working, devoted, and a stand up guy despite his status as an assassin. To some degree, he knew that most women thought of him this way and since the death of his wife, he'd tried to ignore it, labeling it as a distraction.

What he hadn't counted on was falling for a woman who didn't view him this way.

The Drell fully accepted this fact at first, but as he spent more time with Shepard he found himself more and more attracted to the human. She smiled and laughed with aliens just as easily as she did with her own kind. In many ways, Erin Shepard reminded Thane of Iruka, perhaps reincarnated into a different form.

He'd tried pursuing her, attempting to lead the Spectre down the path towards a relationship, despite the short time they would have together. Still, Erin had never responded favorably, either willingly or unknowingly ignoring the advances. Eventually Thane tried to find out if there was anyone who would be competing for a spot in her heart.

That was when he discovered that there was no competition.

The spot had already been taken by Garrus.

At the time she hadn't known, citing him as a good friend. But the more Thane inquired the more obvious it became to him that she cared about him. It wasn't obvious, but in the little things. The way she lit up when they talked about him, the inadvertent blush that crossed her cheeks during those conversations…

So when they had begun a romance, Thane hadn't been completely surprised. He stood on the side, ready to step in. He was, if nothing else, persistent. Yet there seemed nothing wrong. Shepard was completely devoted to the Turian, who in turn seemed loyal to her.

When Thane had heard the commander yell at Joker earlier he'd been visiting with Mordin, trying to gather more information about Kepral's Syndrome, he'd emerged swiftly. The crew had been murmuring amongst themselves but the Drell wasted no time. With the tracking skills he'd picked up in all his years as an assassin, he'd exited the Normandy and followed after Shepard. Not that he'd needed them…he found her not too far off the trading floor, head resting on her arms, watching the sunset.

Approaching slowly, Thane took in the commander for a long moment. She wore simple jeans in a dark blue, almost black wash and a red leather jacket. A slight breeze tugged at her short mahogany locks, pushing them out of place. As he sat, Erin turned her blue eyes on the Drell, startled.

"T-Thane! What are you…" She sniffled, wiping at her eyes. It took the assassin a moment to realize that she'd been crying. "What are you doing here Thane?"

Producing a small handkerchief, Thane didn't answer the question. "You are upset."

Gratefully, Shepard accepted the handkerchief, wiping at her face. "No use really denying that, huh? I just…"

Thane was silent as Erin laughed a little, her voice choked with emotion and the golden sunset reflecting in her perfect blue eyes. Folding the handkerchief into a triangle, she shook her head.

"I was wrong, and I know I was, but is it really that wrong to want to help the person you love? I mean…I've never felt this way about anyone."

Although her words hurt him, Thane couldn't help but sympathize with the emotion behind her words. He'd felt the same way about Iruka…and now he was seeing Shepard caught in the same emotions. Lacing his fingers together, he studied the brunette. "What way?"

Erin smiled softly, her blush giving the glow from the sun a pinkish peach glow. "Garrus he's…he's everything to me. He didn't forget about me when I died and when I came back he was there for me…I couldn't do this without him. When I'm cold, he's there to keep me warm. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him."

"Does he know that?"

Nodding, Erin sighed again. "I tried to tell him but…well, to be honest he's jealous of you."

Now this was a little bit of a shock to the Drell. He knew that the Turian considered him a challenger for Shepard but he had no idea it went that far. Still, Erin went on. "He's afraid that you have more to offer me than he does. That I'll get tired and leave him for you and your biotics and sniping ability and that name you call me…what is it again?"

"_Siha_." Thane said softly, dark eyes not leaving Shepard for an instant.

Shepard shifted in her seat, nodding quickly. "Yes…but he doesn't get that it's just a name. It has no meaning to me…not to be mean or anything!" She held up her hands quickly as if realizing what she'd said. "I just…I love Garrus. He's everything I've ever wanted."

"Does he know that?"

Blinking, Erin finally glanced over at Thane. "What?"

The Drell was still, his deep obsidian and emerald eyes boring into Shepard. "Have you told him all these things you told me? Does he know that he's the only one for you?"

Confused, Shepard shook her head slowly. "N-No…I just figured it was obvious…"

A wry smile tugged at Thane's mouth for the briefest of moments before he looked out over the bustling skyline of Illium. "_Siha_, believe me as someone who is speaking from experience. What may seem obvious to you might not seem so obvious to the other person. It took me years to figure out that what I knew in my head needed to be put in words so that Iruka could hear it and understand what I felt. Never wait until it's too late…you of all people should recognize the value of second chances."

Shepard flushed a spectacular shade of pink. "I just thought…"

"That he knew?"

Squad member and Spectre stared at each other for a long moment before Shepard sighed. "I guess…yeah. I'm not so good with this sort of thing."

Reaching over, Thane placed his hand over Shepard's with the lightest of touches. "That is the beauty of being alive, _siha_. Mistakes will be made but you will work to make them better. You are not the sort of woman who will fight for so much only to give it up so easily."

At last, Shepard smiled, pulling her hand gently out from under Thane's. "Well, you know what I always say…Nobody ever calls me for an easy job."

As Shepard pulled away, Thane knew that she wasn't doing it to be cruel, she was doing it to let him know that as much as she cared about him, Garrus would always be first in her heart. Although it hurt, he nodded and managed a smile.

"I would expect nothing less from you, _siha_."


	46. I Could Get Used to This

Inspired by The Veronicas' "I Could Get Used to This"

So I went back through the stats for this story. HOLY COW. 44,000 hits, 75 alerts, and over 60 favorites. You guys must really like this or something! Thank you all again for your continued support. Six and a half months old and we're still going strong!

* * *

_**I Could Get Used to This**_

On a ship like the Normandy, one would suspect that it would be very hard to avoid running into someone for too long. Shepard and Garrus just seemed to keep missing each other, never quite being at the same place at the same time.

For her part, Shepard was busy working on repairs down in the cargo bay. It was a slow process which was slowed even further by the fact that most of the crew was still on leave. But after the Shadow Broker mission Shepard was determined to have it fixed sooner rather than later.

Rubbing at her eyes, the brunette sighed heavily. Sleep deprivation was causing her vision to blur and double, but there was no time for sleep, she needed to get these repairs done.

"Shepard, what are you doing?"

Miranda and Jacob had approached the other woman without her noticing, which was surprising in itself since Shepard usually was very good at knowing when she was being snuck up on. Erin didn't turn, but kept tooling with the components. "Working. I don't want to wait for the ship to be repaired, even if my crew is on leave…"

The dark eyed man cast a glance at Miranda before leaning forward to place a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "The repairs can wait, commander. Why not…"

"I'm fine!" Insisted Shepard, batting his hand away, turning towards the pair as she did so.

Despite having seen her when she was little more than a corpse, Miranda inhaled sharply. "Shepard…"

It was all Jacob could do to not groan outright. "Jeeze Shepard."

Once more rubbing at her eyes, Erin ignored their comments. She'd avoided the mirror after returning with Thane hours earlier but still…she knew that there were dark circles under her eyes that looked more like bruises than anything. Her skin was pale and chalky, giving the commander a look that was less than attractive.

Desperately trying to clear the blur from her vision, Shepard waved the other two off. "I'm fine, really. I just need to keep working."

"Shepard, I really don't-"

"I'm _FINE_!" Erin growled, starting to get angry. She rose to her feet, swaying on the spot. "Honestly, I think I know my own body well enough to-"

She never got that far, her legs practically giving way beneath her. Before either humans could react Shepard caught herself against a pile of rubble, her heart racing. Her vision was too blurred to really tell what was going on, so when a light hand – Miranda's she suspected – grazed her arm Erin brushed it away.

"I'm fine. I'm just going to get some more tools and be right back."

Unfortunately, Erin's body had other ideas. She'd barely gone a few steps before her legs began to give out again, but instead of crumpling to the floor, a pair of warm arms caught the brunette, oh so gently keeping her upright.

"Shepard!" That would be Jacob, his deep voice still recognizable despite Shepard's state.

Miranda's heels clicked on the floor, approaching the voice that had spoken somewhere above Shepard's head. "She's been working down here for who knows how long. Looks like she's running a temperature, probably nothing more than exhaustion."

"'M not tired…" Mumbled Shepard, blearily trying to fight through the fog that seemed to encase her.

Pushing away from the arms that were holding her, Erin tried once again to walk but her legs betrayed her. This time, the arms didn't just catch her, but they pulled her off the floor, cradling the usually strong Spectre close to a warm chest. Even though her muddled state, Erin could hear the other person's heartbeat as her head drooped towards it.

"I'll take care of it." Rumbled the person cradling Shepard. Vaugely Erin was aware that she was no longer touching the ground and she squirmed to try and get free.

This only served to make the person holding her tighten his grip more, a familiar melodic tone reaching her ears. "Oh no you don't. How long has it been since you slept Shepard?"

Despite what she thought otherwise, Erin found herself curling in towards Garrus's chest. "Dunno…before the Shadow Broker?"

Garrus had stopped walking, so it was safe to assume he was in the elevator now. Shepard really couldn't tell where they were. Still, the Turian's chest reverberated next to her. "Spirits, Shepard that was three days ago. If you weren't already sick I'd say you were going to make yourself sick at this rate."

The door pinged open and Shepard could hear the bubble of the fish tank in her cabin. "I'm not sick!"

"Oh yes you are." Using his foot, Garrus kicked down the covers before depositing Shepard on the bed, tucking the sheets around her. "Turians run at a higher temperature than humans and I think you're warm. So you're not going anywhere until you get some sleep and this fever breaks."

He hesitated for a moment before leaning down to press his lips against Shepard's forehead in a little kiss. Slowly, her eyelids began to droop closed and the Spectre sighed heavily.

"…'kay."

* * *

Hours later, Shepard rolled over; loathe to wake up now that she was nestled firmly in the soft covers. Something drooped over her eye, forcing the Spectre to wake up and investigate what had been on her face. Curious, she studied the damp washcloth that was the culprit.

"Oh, you're up."

Turning her attention, Shepard spotted Garrus getting up off the couch, rubbing at his eyes. As he perched himself on the edge of the bed, she settled back into the covers. "How long was I out?"

Gently taking the towel from her, Garrus turned it over in his hands. "About twelve hours. Considering you'd been awake for three days it's not a bad start. Your fever broke a couple hours ago, so I decided to take a little nap on the couch. I…I hope that's okay."

An awkward silence fell between the two, as if both had realized that they were supposed to be angry with one another. At long last, Erin spoke.

"Look….Garrus, I really wanted to apologize for looking at those transmissions…I shouldn't have looked without your permission." She seemed anxious, toying with the edge of her sheets.

Bashful, Garrus seemed to be focusing on a spot on the sheets as well. "It's…it's okay. I should have told you the whole story…after my biological mother died, my father remarried. I treat my adopted mom the way I would my real mom because in a way, that's the only mother that my sister, Aelia, has ever known. But thing is, she's got this…disease. Corpalis Syndrome. It's…well, it's not pretty. My step-sister Sol has been really good about taking care of mom and all but I should be there. I'm the oldest and it's my responsibility, but…"

Erin reached over, hesitantly taking his hand. At long last, he raised his ice blue eyes to meet Shepard's gaze. "I just didn't want to leave you again. I don't think I can. That's why I took some of the tissue…Mordin let me. It's the only way I could help pay for some new treatments for her. I just…didn't want to seem weak to you."

Skimming her fingers along Garrus's shoulder, Erin shook her head. "Garrus, I've never known my parents. I wouldn't have thought you were weak for trying to help your mom. And…for what it's worth, I think you're amazing."

Relief seemed to flood the Turian as he leaned over, pressing his forehead to hers. "You don't know what that means to me."

For a long moment, they were still before Garrus blinked. Before Shepard could say a word, he scooped her up out of bed, ignoring the commander's protests.

"Garrus, what the hell! I'm pretty sure I can walk on my own now!"

Even though there were the typical physical differences, it was obvious that Garrus was grinning mischievously. "Well, I just want to make sure that your fever is really gone. Can never be too sure."

With that, the Turian strode across the cabin and set Shepard down in the shower, beaming as she shrieked at the spray of water. Surprisingly enough, when she was sitting in the shower, dripping wet and fully clothed, Erin Shepard didn't look as threatening. Reaching over, she grabbed Garrus by the collar before he could get out of reach.

"Oh no you don't, if I'm getting wet so are you."

As he was pulled in, Garrus flicked a little bit of water at Shepard's face, causing her to giggle like a little girl. She splashed back at him, which turned into a full on water fight. When the splashing finally subsided Garrus had lost his shirt and Shepard had as well, leaving her in only her pants and a sports bra the same color as Garrus' armor.

Hovering close to each other, Erin tilted her head back and smiled up at him. "So…we're cool now?"

"Yeah. We're good." Garrus acknowledged, lowering his head to hers.

With the water still pounding down on the pair, Shepard planted a tender kiss on Garrus' mouth. "You said this once…but you know, I really think I can get used to this."

Eyes sparkling brightly, Garrus returned the kiss by bumping his mouth against hers. "You should."

For a long moment, Turian and human gazed at each other. There were no words spoken, but there are moments when words would only ruin it. Lacing her fingers through his talons, Shepard smiled broadly.

"I plan on it."


	47. I'll Be Home For Christmas

BONUS HOLIDAY CHAPTER!

Inspired by Michael Buble's "I'll Be Home For Christmas"

This chapter isn't exactly in the storyline, I just wanted to do something for the holidays. Stay safe and enjoy everyone!

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_**I'll Be Home For Christmas**_

_Normandy, SR1_

Garrus wasn't entirely sure that the whole human crew hadn't gone completely insane. In the past few days they'd started decorating a fake plant that had been set up in the mess hall and wearing ridiculous hats. Although they repeatedly assured him that no, they were completely fine, the Turian wasn't completely sold.

So when he was doused in white powder while trying to calibrate the Mako the poor alien almost attacked the woman standing behind him. Stopping halfway through his turn, Garrus felt his jaw drop. "C-Commander Shepard!"

The captain of the Normandy beamed, her blue eyes bright. He still wasn't quite sure how to handle this human…certainly they'd become friends since he came aboard, but Garrus wasn't sure how to treat a commanding officer that was also his friend. They had always been separate before. Now she stood before him, obviously holding something behind her back.

"Merry Christmas Garrus." Erin quipped, producing the object she'd been holding. It was a small, brightly wrapped box with a bow on top.

Warily, Garrus eyed the package. "What's that?"

With a roll of her eyes, the brunette thrust it into Garrus's hands. "It's Christmas gift, Vakarian. It's for you."

Blinking, Garrus was a little more than confused. "I…Thank you Commander, but…what's Christmas?"

"Didn't the crew explain it to you?" The question seemed to have thrown the usually well prepared commander off balance. Upon seeing the Turian shake his head, Erin sighed heavily. "They should have…it's a human holiday that usually happens towards the end of a human solar year. Generally it's a season of goodwill and happiness…it's traditional to exchange gifts with friends and family."

She shifted from foot to foot, rubbing at the back of her neck. "I…I've never really gotten a gift for a Turian before, much less any aliens. I mean, I think I did well with Tali and Liara, and Wrex seemed to like the upgrade I got for his rifle, but…well, go ahead and open it."

Tentatively Garrus used his talons to slice open the colored paper and open the box. He removed the contents as Shepard went on, watching him nervously.

"It's a scope for your rifle. See, it's got a better magnification than the one you've got already." She pointed to the little item as she went on. "I know that you've got your visor and that helps you sight, so I made sure that this one is compatible with it."

To be quite honest, Garrus didn't know what to say. He had needed a new scope, but never one this…nice. Leave it to Shepard to get one that was top of the line…and if the Turian wasn't completely mistaken it was one from the Spectre line of weapons, which only Spectres had access too. Not the cheapest gift, that was for sure. Once more thanking the Spirits he couldn't blush, he stumbled over his words. "Shepard, this is…thank you. I-I don't have anything for you…"

But to his surprise, the brunette rocked back and forth on her feet, blue eyes bright and happy. "Don't worry about it Garrus. I don't think I've ever really gotten a Christmas present, so I don't mind so much."

"Never?"

Shaking her head, Erin still smiled. "Well, when you grow up on the street there's nobody really giving you gifts. The Alliance isn't big on gift giving either. I suppose Anderson sent me a few cards, but nothing special."

Now a little more than embarrassed, Garrus toyed with the scope in his hands. "Are you sure Shepard? I'm sure that there's something I could…."

Waving him off, Erin shook her head. "No, Garrus, it's fine. Having you aboard and coming with me is the best gift I could ask for, so don't feel bad you don't have anything for me."

"Oh." Garrus felt very small and inadequate standing there, not quite sure what to do. Finally he raised his ice blue eyes to meet Shepard's. "Next year. Next year I'll get you something nice."

Chuckling, Shepard winked one bright blue eye at him. "I'll hold you to it."

_Omega_

_Garrus 'Archangel' Vakarian's base was empty. This was unusual, since most of the time he could find at least two or three members of his crew there guarding the place. But no, there was nobody there. This simple fact had the Turian on edge, and as he moved through the place he was painfully aware of the absence of his rifle. He'd probably left it up in his quarters, so he headed there first._

_Upon reaching the second floor, he was about to turn left to his room when the sound of music wafted towards him from the barracks. He hesitated just outside the door, but opened it and froze._

_The source of the music was still unseen, but the room had been completely emptied and in the center spun Erin Shepard, draped in the human equivalent of a Turian ball gown. The fabric was a deep midnight blue, if not black and moved with the spectre._

_Somewhere in the back of his mind, Garrus was aware that he was completely under dressed in his armor but he moved forward without thinking, catching the human as she spun into his arms and simply flowing with her. Together the pair waltzed in silence, Garrus not daring to say a word. The music slowed and as the Turian spun Shepard out, the brunette released his hand. A distance away she spun to a stop and blew a kiss at Garrus. Slowly, he reached out to her and…_

Garrus's eyes snapped open, his chest heaving. A dream. Nothing more than a dream of a woman who had been dead for almost a year now. Angrily, Garrus rolled over and slammed his hand into the mattress. It wasn't fair. He was supposed to get her a gift this year…

In the back of his mind, the Turian knew that it was past midnight, meaning that this was Christmas day by human calendars. While he wasn't actively going out of his way to observe the holiday he hadn't planned any attacks for the day, citing it as a day to plan and rest.

Retrieving his rifle from where it lay beside him, Garrus stared at the scope. It was the same one that Shepard had given him last year and it had saved his life on more than one occasion. It seemed appropriate that the woman who had saved the galaxy so many times was still saving his ass from beyond the grave.

With a heavy sigh, the blue eyed Turian stared at the ceiling. She'd told him all she'd needed for Christmas was his presence. Funny how a year later, that's all he wanted.

_Normandy SR2_

Winter was never Erin Shepard's favorite season. It was cold and miserable and she couldn't get out as much. As a child she'd had to spend winters huddling in alleys and soup kitchens so she wouldn't freeze to death in the bitter Midwest winters.

However, aboard the Normandy winter was different. There was no snow, no bitter winds, no temperatures below freezing…

In a way, Shepard almost missed the winters of her childhood.

Kelly Chambers had insisted that the crew celebrate winter holidays, so the whole ship was decked out in garland, ornaments, fake snow, and candles despite Miranda's protest that they could be a fire hazard. The thermostat had even been turned down enough so that everyone was forced into warmer clothes, their breath condensing in little clouds before their faces.

To Erin's surprise, Liegon, Tali, and EDI had all gotten very into the theme, going so far as to rig up a device that made it 'snow' on the observation deck. Samara had not been too amused, but she'd eventually relented and admitted that it was cute. Even so, she had decided to spend her time in Mordin's lab until the rig was down. This had resulted in the two aliens growing close, and on more than one occasion Erin had caught the two sharing traditional winter songs of their culture.

Jacob had taken advantage of the season and tied a sprig of mistletoe over Miranda's door and he took great pride in catching her under it, getting the dark haired operative to giggle like a little girl. Standing in the mess hall, Erin watched another display of affection between the two and shook her head, a wry smile crossing her features. By the human calendar, it was Christmas Eve so everyone had been given the night off and it seemed that it was a night to dress up. Miranda wore a sprig of holly pinned into her hair, which complimented her form fitting dress. Jacob certainly seemed to appreciate the copious amount of leg that the dress showcased, although he didn't look half bad in a dress shirt and tie.

"Commander!"

The brunette turned to find Kelly Chambers bouncing towards her, the redhead sporting a short chocolate skirt and cream sweater. In her arms she carried a bundle messily wrapped in bright red paper. Offering it to the other woman, she beamed.

"It's early, but Merry Christmas."

Surprised, Shepard accepted the package, blinking. "Oh…thank you Kelly. I-I didn't get anything…"

Waving her off, Kelly laughed. "Oh, you misunderstand me! That's from Officer Vakarian!"

"Where is Garrus, anyway?" Erin asked, curious now. She hadn't seen her Turian boyfriend all day, and he'd disappeared from the Main Battery some time ago.

Coyly, Kelly placed a finger over her lips. "He wouldn't say, but he wanted me to give this to you and let you know that you should go up to your cabin and open it straight away."

And with that, the redhead bounded away to fawn over Thane, who had emerged from Life Support draped in a scarf. Resigning herself to the fact that she wasn't getting any answers just then, Erin headed into the elevator to head up. As the mechanism moved through the decks, the curious Spectre couldn't help but let curiosity get the best of her, tearing open a little corner of the paper, a child like smile beginning to bloom on her face.

While Shepard opened her present, Garrus stood in Mordin's lab, trying to fix his clothes in his reflection from the window. He'd spent so much time trying to make sure that Shepard's gift was perfect…The Turian wasn't about to let things go wrong now. Not after two years of waiting.

"Obsessive preening. Sign of nervousness in both humans and Turians. Nervous about Shepard's reaction?" Observed Mordin, a hat snugly perched on his awkwardly shaped head.

Behind him, Samara's voice was serene, but light with laughter. "I am sure that whatever you do, Shepard will cherish it greatly."

Growling in frustration, Garrus adjusted his collar for the thousandth time. "I just want to make it perfect. This is her first holiday being alive again…it should be special."

At long last the Turian managed to get his clothing to cooperate. Turning to face his audience of two, he spread his arms wide. "Well, how do I look?"

He'd managed to pick up some nicer clothes on Illium with some help from Tali. The traditional Turian style was black but the trim for the designs was a deep burgundy, making Garrus' light blue eyes stand out even more. Mordin gave a quick nod of approval before turning back to Samara.

"Just remembered. There is a human song I am fond of. Perhaps we could listen?"

Realizing he wasn't getting anything else out of the pair, Garrus left as Mordin was cueing up what sounded suspiciously like 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'. One quick elevator ride later and Garrus was hurrying towards the observation deck, cursing the fact he was a few minutes late. With a hiss, the door opened and Garrus froze just inside, all thoughts pushed out of his head.

By the window, Shepard stood as still as a statue, her attention focused on the stars drifting lazily past. The snow machine had deposited a few stray flakes in her dark chocolate locks, which had been half pulled back with a silver clip. A stole of soft white fur was wrapped around her shoulders to keep the Spectre warm despite the rest of her outfit. She wore a pine green satin gown that highlighted her curves with its classic line. Of course Garrus knew she would look incredible when he'd gone to pick it out, he just hadn't anticipated how downright stunning she would be. It wasn't every day he got to see the commander in formal attire.

After a moment, Garrus strode towards her, clearing his throat as he left footprints in the dusting of snow on the floor. Erin turned, blinking at him in surprise. "Oh, Garrus!"

He managed a small smile, despite being a little awestruck. "Sorry I'm late."

Waving him off, Erin fidgeted with her hands. "No, its fine…you look really nice, by the way."

"That should be my line." Garrus replied, using the back of a talon to trace down her shoulder to her hands.

A delicate blush bloomed across Erin's cheeks. "Thank you…did you pick this out all by yourself?"

Sheepishly, Garrus shook his head. "You put too much faith in me Shepard…no, I think I got help from every female on the Normandy. Kelly and Miranda helped me pick the colors, Samara helped with fit, and Tali suggested the fur. But I picked the style."

The pride in his voice made Erin giggle. Standing on tip-toe, she placed a kiss on the Turian's nose. "Thank you. It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful." Countered Garrus, rubbing his forehead against hers.

Pulling away, Garrus pointed his Omni-Tool at a wall mounted speaker, which began to play music from Afterlife. After a moment of fumbling, Garrus managed to change the music to softer piano music that Erin recognized as music from the 21st century. Grateful that he couldn't blush, Garrus gently took Shepard in his arms, one hand gently placed on her waist while the other captured Erin's hand. As the fake snow fell around them, he led Shepard in a semi-awkward swaying dance.

Silent, Erin rested her head against Garrus's chest, inhaling his motor oil and cut grass scent. "You did all of this…for me?"

Above she could feel the Turian nod and lower his head enough so that his breath ghosted through her hair and along her shoulders. "I owed you a gift…and I wanted to do something special for you…to show you how incredible I think you are. Something human…to make you feel more at home."

Laughing, Shepard turned her face upwards so that her lips brushed against Garrus'. Content, she couldn't stop smiling as the little flakes of snow floated down around the pair as they swayed to the music.

"Silly Garrus…I'm already home."


	48. I Run to You

Inspired by Lady Antebellum's "I Run To You"

So hey, how about that delay...sorry, I've been busy. My bad, my bad. But school has consumed my life so far. It sucks. But you all wanted to see something done with the item Garrus bought way back in Chapter 39, so I'm...setting that up. LOL. But I thought that if Garrus needed advice on something, he would instantly go to Tali if he couldn't ask Shepard. They're like siblings. Shorter chapter, I know, but at this point I take what I can get.

* * *

_**I Run To You**_

"Tali!"

Garrus's voice startled the poor Quarian, causing her to jump a clean foot in the air. She turned, her tone full of displeasure. "Keelah, Garrus. You couldn't have approached a little more quietly?"

Further reprimand died in her throat as she stared at the Turian. Garrus looked nervous and he fumbled with his talons. Softening, the lilac clad Quarian stepped away from her terminal. "What's going on Garrus?"

"I need your help." His voice seemed to hum with something akin to apprehension.

Now thoroughly intrigued, Tali nodded enthusiastically. "All right then. What do you need help with?"

The Turian's ice blue eyes flickered over to where Gabby and Donnelly were pretending to work, but obviously eavesdropping. He took Tali's wrist and pulled her towards the elevator. "Come with me. We'll get more privacy in the Main Battery."

Quickly the pair made their way into the Main Battery, with Garrus locking the door behind them. He fluttered his mandibles into a quick smirk. "There. Erin made sure that this was one of the first places to be completely bug free on the ship, so no chance of being interrupted here."

Tali leaned against the railing, her arms crossed over her chest. "What is so important that you can't ask in front of the humans? And why not ask Shepard?"

Garrus had turned his attention to a small pile of personal affects that lay cluttered in the corner. "Well, I can't ask Shepard because, well…she's part of the problem. And I need someone I can trust…a girl."

Finally extracting what he'd been looking for, Garrus extended his hand towards Tali, the object resting in his palm. At his urging, Tali gingerly took the small jewelry box and flipped it open. Her filtered breath caught and her gaze snapped up to Garrus.

"Is this…?"

He nodded sheepishly. "I want to ask her, but I don't know how…and I needed someone I could trust. A girl."

Obviously still stunned, Tali seemed to sputter for words. "But…when did you get this?"

"When we first docked at the Citadel after the Omega Four relay. I'd done some reading on the subject and listened to Kelly talk about it, but I just…don't know how."

It was cute, in a way. Garrus seemed so uncomfortable, so out of his element. Toss him in the middle of a firefight, he would thrive. Pit him against a Reaper and he'd enjoy the challenge. But this? This was one thing he would much rather just get over with.

Thoughtful, Tali toyed with the edge of her cloth wrap. "Well…I guess you should figure out where to ask. Is there a special place or event that you two share?"

Completely focusing on the box in his hands, Garrus shook his head slowly. "I…I don't know. The only place I can think of is the Normandy SR1. But that's out for fairly obvious reasons."

"You could take her to the wreckage," Suggested Tali, "But that might not set the right move. But think Garrus, there has to be something that is special for you two. A place, an event you went to together…"

He couldn't help but laugh at that suggestion. "Tali, any events we go to usually end with us shooting the place up or getting shot at."

Tali rubbed at where her temple would be. "Well, how did you two meet? You were already with her when I met Shepard and I never really asked."

But Garrus wasn't listening. A look of inspiration had crossed over his face and he was frozen in place. After a brief moment, he swept forward and caught Tali in a quick embrace. "Tali, you're brilliant. Absolutely brilliant."

Surprised, the poor Quarian felt a little dazed. "Did you think of something?"

Eagerly nodding, Garrus unlocked the door. "Actually, yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make a few calls."

Once the confused Quarian had left for her own station, Garrus re-locked the door and opened up a secure communication channel. After a few moments, he was connected and the Turian couldn't help but grin.

"Hey, it's Garrus. Garrus Vakarian. I was wondering if I could call in a few favors…"


	49. Make You Feel My Love

Hey all! I know it's been a while, but I plan on getting this story caught up by the time ME3 is released in MARCH! I'm so excited! This semester has been insane and this is the first I've been able to really sit and write for a while.

If you still wish to support me, my most recent project, We're Not Heroes, has been re-written for NaNoWriMo but you can still buy the original before I replace it. This is for fun, and if you enjoy my work I would much appreciate giving it a shot. For a paperback it's less than seven bucks! Not bad, yeah? Go to lulu (try google, it's the first link that comes up) and add this to the end: /content/paperback-book/were-not-heroes/10473930

This chapter inspired by Adele's _Make You Feel My Love._

-Blitz Chick

* * *

_**Make You Feel My Love**_

Garrus practically sprinted out of the elevator. He half wished this Normandy still had stairs to run up, so as to release a bit more energy, but alas, no such luck. But after talking to Tali and making a few calls, he needed to get Shepard before he totally lost his nerve.

"Shepard!"

He froze, his eyes locked onto where Shepard was staring at two data pads spread before her desk. Her hands were twined in her hair, obviously frustrated. Question pushed aside, he knelt beside Erin's chair. "Shepard, what's wrong?"

Raising her tired eyes, the spectre sighed. "I just got two more dossiers from Cerberus. Two more people they want to come with me…and of course, I'm sure they come with all sorts of emotional baggage…"

Before she could get another word out, Garrus pulled her close. Mildly startled, Shepard paused, then leaned in and returned the embrace. "Thanks Garrus."

Pulling away to look at her, the Turian was obviously worried, his mandibles fluttering. "Do you have to go pick them up? I mean…you've done enough already. Destroying the Collector base, helping all of us...you don't need to do anything more. Why don't we take a break? Get something nice to eat or…"

He trailed off, extremely hesitant. Shepard's brilliant ocean blue eyes were tender and full of love. How was it that she was so perfect and absolutely good? How had he been able to win over a woman so wonderful? How could he ask her for anything more?

Erin's light touch snapped Garrus out of his thoughts, her fingers cool through the cybernetics and bandage. A mildly amused smile played about her features. "Garrus, you know me better than that. I can't just leave people hanging…even if it was Cerberus who told me to do it. We'll make sure that these people are set, and then we'll take a vacation. Okay?"

If it were possible for a Turian to pout, Garrus Vakarian would be doing so in a spectacular fashion. Slowly, he nodded and lifted his ice blue eyes to Erin. "Fine…but tonight, can we take tonight to do something? Please?"

Skeptical, Erin raised an eyebrow. "You already made reservations, didn't you?"

The Turian's sheepish, uniquely alien grin was enough to send Erin into a fit of giggles. Soon she had her Turian boyfriend laughing along with her, and at last she pressed her forehead to his. "All right, all right. I've got to go pick up our first dossier while we're here on the Citadel, but after that I'll go. Do I get to know where we're going?"

With a cheeky wink, Garrus placed a gentle talon against Shepard's lips. "That's a surprise. But you'll get to know soon enough."

Obviously miffed, Erin sighed. "Fine. What should I wear?"

"Whatever you think is nice." As he rose, Garrus nuzzled her forehead with a fierce sort of tenderness. "I'll come get you at seven."

As he strode out towards the elevator, Shepard reclined, blue eyes sparkling. "My, what a perfect gentleman."

Hours later, Shepard had returned to her quarters, only this time she was with her first new member, Kasumi Goto. The woman was probably a year or so younger than Shepard, her face hooded, but from her name and pale skin, Shepard was fairly certain she was Asian descent. Kasumi also had a reputation as a master thief, so Shepard was constantly checking to see that her new member hadn't moved from the couch as the spectre looked for something to wear to her date this evening.

"You know, Garrus really likes you." Kasumi's voice was smooth and silky, with an extremely confident tone. "I think you should go for it."

Raising an eyebrow, Shepard glanced over, her hand resting lightly on a hanger. Leave it to a thief to know the rumors within hours of being on the ship. "Is that what the crew is saying?"

Kasumi's perfect lips twitched into a smile as she approached Erin. "That's just what I've been hearing. But you seem to have yourself a date this evening…perhaps that Drell in Life Support? What's his name…Thane?"

A bark of laughter escaped Shepard. "Heavens no. I like Thane just fine, but not like that…if you can keep a secret, I'll have you know that Garrus and I are going to dinner."

Amused, Kasumi pulled a silky black dress and thrust it into Shepard's arms. "Really? Does the rest of the crew know?"

Studying the gown, Erin blinked. "I'm sure they have their suspicions and most of them are fairly certain we're an item, but we're just trying to keep it on the down low…Turian-human relations aren't exactly looked highly upon."

"So how long?" Kasumi had already picked out a pair of shoes for Shepard to wear as the spectre began to change.

Gently tugging the gown over her head, Shepard sighed. "A while now, but we've known each other much longer."

At last presentable, Shepard brushed at her silky mahogany hair for just a moment before there was a knock at the door. In a flash, Kasumi had vanished into the corner with her active camouflage, leaving Shepard to answer her door. When it opened, Garrus was standing there, still in his battered blue armor, beaming in his own Turian way.

"Shepard, wow…" He blinked his brilliant blue eyes. "You look amazing. Ready to go?"

Glancing back into the seemingly empty room Shepard nodded. "Yeah…yeah, we _all_ should get going."

If her words perplexed the Turian, he didn't say anything as they headed out onto the Citadel. At night, it was something completely different from during the day. Gone were the bustling politicians and military commanders. Now the halls that the pair traversed were quiet, the normal blue and white clouds above changed to a twilight sky sparkling with stars.

Lacing her fingers through his three talons, Erin smiled serenely. "Okay, I've waited all day, where are we going?"

With a broad Turian grin, Garrus pulled Shepard into a familiar elevator. "Somewhere special. I really think you're going to like this."

Just as the elevator stopped, Garrus quickly covered Erin's eyes, and despite her protests, he led her out of the elevator. "No, no, no, I really want this to be a surprise! Close your eyes. Please?"

"All right, all right…" Shepard closed her eyes, grinning. "You do know that I can't see with your hands over my eyes, right?"

Silence greeted the commander, who sighed and decided to humor Garrus and close her eyes anyways. Above them the radio chirruped the latest stories of the day, but was cut off as the doors slid open. Blindly, Shepard allowed Garrus to lead her out of the elevator and towards what she recognized as the splashing of water.

Garrus' light touch left her shoulders and there was a few quick footsteps before the Turian spoke, excitement barely contained in his voice. "Okay…you can open your eyes now!"

As the brunette opened her eyes, she inhaled, one hand flying to her mouth in surprise. They stood before the fountain where Shepard and Garrus had first met, only yards away from where a Reaper had crashed into the council chamber. Beside the nervous Turian was a small basket of food and two bottles of wine, one dextro amino based, the other levo amino based.

Seating herself beside him, Erin smiled. "Garrus, you didn't…"

"I did though!" Beamed Garrus, his ice blue eyes bright. "I called in a favor from Anderson…got it all to ourselves tonight."

In peace, the pair shared their food, laughing and swapping stories. Thoughtfully swirling her wine, Erin leaned back and laughed. "You know, it's so weird to think about us being here…it's like we've come full circle."

Garrus couldn't help but swallow what felt like an egg-sized lump in his throat. Beside him Shepard – THE Commander Shepard – sat so peacefully, willing to be with him despite their obvious differences. It was almost selfish to ask her for more….and yet….

Hand fumbling in the basket, Garrus nodded, doing his best to keep his voice from trembling. "Yeah. I never thought that when we first met it would come to this…we've come so far."

Oblivious, Shepard pushed a few errant strands of mahogany hair out of her face, ocean blue eyes brilliant in the dim light. "And we've done so much…I couldn't have done it without you Garrus."

It was now or never. Swiftly, Garrus moved gracefully to one knee and offered the little box to the woman before him. "Then maybe you'd be willing to do one more thing for me."


	50. Marry Me

Two chapters? One day? MADNESS.

Chapter inspired by Train's _Marry Me_.

* * *

_**Marry Me**_

To say that Erin Shepard was shocked would be a minor understatement. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sight before her. Nothing she had ever seen could have prepared the brunette spectre for this.

Garrus Vakarian knelt before her, offering a small velvet box as though she were some sort of goddess. Inside the box was a silver ring that upon closer inspection, sparkled with miniscule diamonds that formed a trail to a little etching of the Normandy. It was like the engraved ship was soaring through the galaxy, a trail of diamond stardust glittering behind.

As he held his breath, Garrus felt a wave of fear sweep through his chest. Shepard was silent, but tears had begun to form at the corners of her eyes. Mildly alarmed, he lowered the ring. "Shepard, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pressure you, this was really soon…I mean, this is what Tali told me was traditional…she never mentioned tears…look, if you want, I'll put this away and we won't talk about it again. See?"

Moving to put the box back into their picnic basket, Garrus' hand was stopped as Shepard grabbed his wrist. Surprised, the Turian met the human's teary blue gaze. "Garrus Vakarian, don't you dare do that."

It took Garrus a moment to realize what Shepard was saying. Hesitant, he fluttered his mandibles. "S-Shepard…?"

At last, a teary smile split Erin's face. "Garrus, do…do you know what this is? What you're asking?"

"Of course I do." Murmured Garrus, leaning forward so that his forehead rested against Shepard's, his hands on her knees. "I'm asking to spend the rest of my existence with you. I know that it's not normal, and it isn't rational. And I know my father is going to kill me for this. But Erin, I…I lost you once and I'm not about to do it again. Not when I've got this chance…I'm going to be here for you, no matter what you say right now."

Against his skin, Shepard's nervous trembling could be felt like the hum of an engine. "That's a long time Garrus."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Forever can't be long enough for me to be with you. I just…I love you. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear to understand, but I do."

Lifting her gaze to his, Shepard's voice was soft. "Say it then. I want to hear you say it."

Heart thundering in his chest, Garrus swallowed, momentarily wondering when his mouth had turned to a desert. "Marry me. Erin Shepard, I want you to marry me. I want to be with you…to be happy by your side for as long as we've got left."

A few tears finally spilled onto Shepard's cheeks, but at last Garrus understood that they were tears of happiness, not ones of sorrow or just general upset. Struck speechless, the spectre shook her head, which caused Garrus' heart to drop like a stone. "No?"

Voice a little husky from emotion, Erin blinked. "No…not now, at least."

"I…I don't understand." Garrus managed, his head feeling as though he had just walked through a cloud of red sand.

Clasping his talons in her hands, Erin sighed. "Garrus, I will marry you. I promise. And I will wear your ring. But I don't think it's…appropriate for us to be married when the fight against the Reapers is so close."

If he could, Garrus would have frowned. "But that's all the more reason to get married now! What if something happens? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't…"

"And that's why I'm saying let's wait." Insisted the brunette, her tone firm but full of emotion. "It gives us incentive to come back from this. We defeat the Reapers first and then I promise you that I will tie myself to you in every conceivable way. If you want, we'll have a ceremony on every planet in every language and custom to prove it. I'm not saying no, I'm just saying wait."

Silence fell between the pair before Garrus eventually sighed and nodded. "You're right, as usual."

With a broad smile, Erin dropped her gaze back to the ring. Hesitant, she nodded at it. "Can…can I…?"

"Oh!" Garrus nodded, removing the ring from its box, "Yeah, of course…"

The ring barely got to Shepard's second knuckle, which had the pair laughing at the absurdity. Sheepish, Garrus shrugged while Shepard admired the silver. "I guess I should've known it wouldn't be a perfect fit…I've never seen you wear any sort of jewelry aside from your dog tags, so I just…didn't know."

Shepard shook her head, gently sliding the ring off. "No, I love it. I really do. I can just wear it on my dog tags until we get it resized…but when did you get this?"

"Do you remember when you were having coffee with Kaidan that first day we were back on the Citadel?" While Shepard nodded, Garrus shrugged. "I was going to wander around for a bit and I saw this…made me think of you. I know it's not traditional, but I wanted something that was…you."

Once more pressing her forehead to his, Erin was beaming, her ocean blue eyes seemingly lit from within. "I love it. You know me…I don't need tradition. What I need is you, and as long as you can give me that, I'm happy."

Taking her hand, Garrus and Shepard sauntered back towards the elevator, shoulders gently bumping together. As they descended, the Turian glanced down at his bond mate. "Should we tell the crew? I mean…they'll find out eventually…"

Thoughtful, Shepard slowly shook her head. "No, we've got enough to worry about right now. I mean, I'm sure we can tell Tali since you already confided in her. There will be time after the Reapers to tell them everything. For now, let's go one step at a time."

Despite himself, Garrus found his gaze drawn to where the ring – his ring – was hanging against Shepard's alabaster skin. It was so…perfect. She was his. She wanted him and him alone. If Shepard would let him, the Turian would have announced it to the whole Citadel – to the whole galaxy! Three years ago he would never have pictured being here…falling in love with the galaxy's most incredible human. And yet here he was, prepared to marry her.

Somehow, it seemed right. No matter what happened from here out, he had done right by himself and somehow earned her love. It was nothing less than perfect.


	51. Set Fire to the Rain

I know, it's been a while since ya'll heard from me. Got busy with some other projects and the holidays and such. No Christmas chapter this year, sorry. Gotta get all caught up before ME3 (March 6th! Yes, I've preordred) comes out. Garrus has been confirmed to come back, so yay!

If you couldn't tell, I was never a fan of Zaeed. I didn't get him until after the suicide mission, so his loyalty was kind of redundant. I did it anyways. Sorry it's not my best work. :/

Song is Set Fire to the Rain by Adele

* * *

_**Set Fire to the Rain** _

It seemed odd that only 48 hours after having being proposed to, Erin Shepard was back out on the battlefield but of course, there she was with Zaeed and Garrus by her side. Although the threat of the Collectors had been neutralized, the commander still felt obligated to help out those who Cerberus had promised to help.

The planet they landed upon was tropical, and their target was not an unusual one; the Blue Suns mercenary group had always been a pain. However, this time was different…it seemed that Zaeed had some bad blood with the leader of the Blue Suns, Vido.

Moving out, Garrus couldn't help but smile inwardly at Shepard's figure. He knew she wore his ring around her neck along with her dog tags, as a little promise that yes, she was his in every conceivable way.

Silently, Shepard paused, holding up a closed fist to signal a stop. Several bodies were left on the side of the path, tied and with bullet wounds in their backs. Zaeed shook his head, mismatched eyes hard. "Shot in the back and left to rot…definitely Vido's style."

Although the Turian was not familiar with human accents, he felt as though Zaeed and Miranda's accents were familiar in some way. There was no time to think about it since Shepard waved them forward, her mahogany hair gleaming in the golden sunlight. No sooner had they moved closer to their goal than Blue Suns mercs leapt into action.

Like they could read the other's mind, Shepard and Garrus dove for the same piece of cover as Zaeed careened forward, roaring like a madman. Glancing over, Garrus would have raised an eyebrow if he could. "Shepard, are you sure about this one? I mean, I've never questioned your squad choices before…"

"Unless it's Thane." Joke Erin, her deep blue eyes amused. "But I understand what you're saying…Zaeed is…well, he's unusual, even for us."

That was an understatement. The mercinary's background was spotty and mysterious, and his appearance did nothing to put the brunette commander at ease. He bore a large crescent shaped scar around one milky blue eye while the other was a deep green. Just looking at him put Shepard on edge. Still, she had promised to help and so she would; that was just how the spectre was.

Swiftly moving through the clearing, the trio approached a picturesque waterfall with what appeared to be gear for a bridge to extend over the gap. Even as the bridge extended, the com systems crackled with chatter.

"This is Commander Santiago. If any of you retreat while the intruders are still alive, I'll kill you myself! Now get the hell back out there!"

Zaeed made a quick motion and Shepard paused the bridge's extension to stare at her squad mate. Bitterly the mercenary shook his head. "Vido. Sounds like he hasn't changed."

Blue eyes flickering over to Garrus for only a heartbeat, Shepard stepped towards Zaeed. "I get the feeling you have a past with this Vido."

With a nonchalant shrug, Zaeed faced the commander, mostly ignoring that Garrus was standing a respectable distance back, but not far enough to be out of earshot. "I knew he was a sadistic bastard back when we started the Blue Suns. The Suns only got meaner after he staged his little coup twenty years ago. So, yeah. We have a past."

Behind Zaeed, Garrus was bristling at the tone that this mercenary was taking with his mate. It was all he could do to keep himself from growling, but Shepard seemed to be ignoring this sort of tone in favor of another little detail that had come up. "Why didn't anyone tell me you founded the Blue Suns?"

Clearly exasperated, Zaeed stared at Shepard as though he were addressing a child. "Because it's not common knowledge! Vido wiped me out of the records. He ran the books, I led the men. Worked real well for a while. Then Vido decided to start hiring Batarians. Cheaper labor, he said. Goddamn terrorists, I said."

Erin frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew exactly how to deal with pissy squad members like Zaeed. "Tewenty years is a long time to hold a grudge…"

"A grudge?" Spat Zaeed, taking an aggressive step towards Shepard and poking her with his finger, still oblivious to the angry Turian behind him. "Vido turned my men against me! He paid six of them to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger! For twenty years I've seen that bastard every time I closed my eyes. Every time I sighted down on a target. Every time I heard a gunshot. Don't you call that a goddamned 'grudge.'"

Still calm, Erin raised an eyebrow. "You survived a gunshot to the head?"

A little calmer now, Zaeed backed off, but Garrus was still eyeballing him carefully while leaning against the steel railing. "Yeah. And you survived your ship getting disintegrated. A stubborn enough person can survive just about anything. Rage is a hell of an anesthetic."

Satisfied for now, Erin reactivated the bridge. "Come on then, we'd better get moving."

Even as the bridge connected, the com chirruped again, feeding information to the little team. "They're at the southern access! All squads, mass at the gatehouse, now!"

"They know we're here…Bring it on you son of a bitch!" Zaeed muttered quietly. On any other day, Garrus would have made a sarcastic comment, but at this point, he felt it might be safer to keep his mouth shut.

A quick trip up the stairs and one hacked door later found the three finally looking at the man that they were there to find; Vido Santiago. He was dark and by human standards, not bad looking. If it weren't for the fact he was surrounded by Blue Suns warriors, he might have even been cordial. That is, until he sighted Zaeed. "Zaeed Massani…you finally tracked me down."

"Vido…" Growled Zaeed, already reaching for his rifle.

Above, a sneer crept into Vido's voice. "Don't be stupid Zaeed! I have a whole company of bloodthirsty bastards behind me, ready to kill or be killed on my command. Actually, take your shot. Give my men a reason to put you down like the mad dog you are. Again."

Before Shepard could sooth the situation with her silver tounge, Zaeed had opened fire, darting off towards a few exposed pipes from the nearby refinery. One pinged off the metal wall near Vido, causing him to move, but not actually harm him. The target frowned down at his old partner. "What was that? Gone nearsighted, old friend?"

"Burn you son of a bitch." Rasped Zaeed, who opened fire again.

Erin's eyes grew wide as she realized exactly what Zaeed's plan was. She had seen it happen before, when she hit a fuel tank back on Tuchanka. With a nudge, she pulled Garrus into cover as the balcony above them exploded, throwing Vido but not quite killing him like Zaeed had hoped.

While the debris rained down, Vido clambered to his feet. "You just signed your death warrant, Massani!"

Amidst the chaos, Shepard glanced over at where Zaeed was smashing the butt of his rifle against a gas valve instead of returning fire at the Blue Suns Mercs overhead. "Zaeed, what the hell are you doing?"

The answer came in the form of several more explosions that threw their attackers from the balcony in a spectacular burst of flame. Cooly turning, Zaeed strode towards where Erin and Garrus still huddled in cover. "Opening the gate."

Although Garrus knew he'd done some stupid, reckless things, nothing had come close to this and he could tell Shepard was less than amused. Gracefully rising, she moved like a panther on the attack. "We're here to free these people. Why the hell would you blow up the refinery?"

Pacing agitatedly, Zaeed was having none of Shepard's morality. "I came here to kill Vido Santiago. You want my help, you better make damn sure that man dies today."

A few more explosions distracted Shepard momentarily, but her ocean blue eyes were hard and cold when she glanced back at Zaeed. "This isn't the time…we'll discuss this later."

"Once Vido's dead we can discuss anything you want." Retorted Zaeed, which did nothing to improve Shepard's mood.

Unfortunately for the Blue Suns mercs who came after the trio, Erin Shepard converted her frustration with Zaeed into powerful biotic throws and pinpoint accuracy with her pistol. Garrus had a hard time keeping up, even though he usually found that he and his bond mate were well matched. Pausing before a doorway, Erin shook her head, voice low. "I swear, it's like dealing with a stubborn three year old…"

Above, movement distracted her from entering the open hallway. A refinery worker gazed down at them, clearly panicked about the hungry flames and explosions that threatened to consume the building. "Help! We're trapped! We can't get to the gas valves to shut them off! The whole place is going to blow!"

This fact was punctuated by an explosion that sheared off a large sheet of metal. Zaeed shook his head. "No time. Vido's probably halfway to the shuttle docks by now."

Incredulous, Erin's blue eyes were wide. "You're willing to watch these people die?"

Turning towards her, Zaeed was cold. "Damn right I am. We stop to help these people, and Vido gets away. And if he gets away, I'm blaming you."

Tension hung in the air and Garrus couldn't help but stare back and forth between the two. Certainly Shepard was stubborn, but she had promised to help Zaeed achieve his goal…It was like that human saying; when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. Truth be told, the Turian wasn't quite sure what was going to happen next.

Viciously, Shepard yanked Zaeed close by his collar. "We're here to free these people. We're going in."

As Zaeed stumbled back and adjusted his armor, he glared at Shepard, who was already heading for the gas valves. "I knew this was a mistake…if we're gonna do this, we'd better get to it."

Around them gas pipes burst forth into flame, alarm bells wailing constantly. Garrus found himself having a hard time to keep up with Erin as she sprinted from console to console, her fingers gracefully activating the sprinkler systems, her mouth set in a line of grim determination. At one heart-wrenching moment Garrus stumbled backwards from an explosion that completely obscured Shepard from sight.

"ERIN!" The Turian's urgent cry could be heard clearly over the wail of the alarms but no sooner had the words left his mouth than Shepard emerged like a phoenix from the flame, blue eyes glimmering in triumph. Zaeed just shook his head and plowed through to the next room where Vido's voice rang out clear through the speakers.

"First person to bring me Massani's head gets something special in their paycheck!"

Zaeed rushed ahead and Shepard glanced at Garrus as he drew level with her. Her face had a few smudges of soot and grime from the explosions, but otherwise she was completely unharmed. Shooting a quick glance upwards at where the voice emanated from, she smirked. "He wants our heads then? Challenge accepted."

And it seemed that Vido was not joking about wanting their heads; he unleashed hordes of mercinaries along with battle mechs to do his fighting. Carefully hanging back, Garrus provided Shepard and Zaeed with expert coverage, but it also gave him more opportunity to watch his bond mate do what she did best – fight. It wasn't just that Shepard was strong, but she was smart and knew how to improvise. When things became exceptionally dangerous and overwhelming, she used the explosive crates overhead to incinerate her foes. Although it was brutal and Garrus knew he shouldn't, the Turian couldn't help but smile.

"Garrus, come on!" Erin's voice snapped the Turian out of his thoughts, and from across the long room, they exchanged a little smile.

Just outside, a gunship was slowly taking off, and from within they could hear Vido's smug voice from over the intercom. "Not this time Zaeed, you son of a bitch. See you in another twenty years!"

Sprinting as hard as she could, Shepard made it to the launch pad in time to be tossed backwards by the aftershock of the gunship's engines. Right behind her, Zaeed brought his rifle to bear, roaring in anguish as his vengeance soared farther and farther away. Eventually the thermal clip was spent, a hollow clicking sound emanating from the gun as Shepard slowly approached.

This turned out to be a bad move, since Zaeed ejected the still molten thermal clip onto the launch pad, which was slick with fuel for the gunship. As he brought his rifle to bear at Shepard, she whipped out her pistol, silent as the mercenary turned his rage on her. "You just cost me twenty years of my life!"

A crackling noise was all Shepard needed to hear to move, but Zaeed was not as lucky. The fuel that he had unknowingly ignited exploded, toppling a great steel beam onto his leg. While the fire still burned, the old mercenary growled in pain, propping himself up on his elbow.

All thought of the fact that not moments before he had pointed a gun at her, Shepard lowered her pistol and strode forward, all concern. "Zaeed! Are you all right?"

"The hell do you care?" Spat the infuriated mercenary, one hand gripping his leg. "I'm fine. Now come on. Get me out of this shit hole."

Crouching before him, fire crackled behind Shepard, giving her a distinctly menacing look. Her voice was cool, but even from where he stood, the subtle rage behind it sent chills down Garrus' back. "I don't know…I'm not sure I need a man like you on my ship."

For the first time, fear crept into Zaeed's voice. "If you didn't need me, Cerberus wouldn't have paid my fee. I'll do what I was paid to do, nothing more nothing less. Now stop screwing around, let's go!"

Still, the brunette vanguard was having none of it. She rose, the flames flickering higher behind her. "You put your own goals ahead of the mission. That's not the way this works."

"I've survived this long watching my own back." Admitted Zaeed, a little bit of emotion at last creeping into the hardend warrior's tone. "No time to worry about anyone else."

When he raised his mismatched eyes, the mercenary found the barrel of Shepard's pistol resting squarely between his eyes. Garrus felt his heart hitch into his throat in a moment of panic before Shepard spoke, blue eyes glimmering in the firelight. "You're part of a team now, Zaeed. There's no way we can do this unless we're all working together."

Swiftly, she flipped the gun around to offer Zaeed the handle of the gun. Slowly, he lowered his head. "You…you have a point. I'm not done with Vido, but I can put that behind me long enough to get your mission done."

While he spoke, Shepard deftly lifted the beam off of Zaeed and watched as he staggered to his feet. For a second, the pair eyed each other as if sizing the other up, but at last Zaeed gained his footing and nodded. "Let's get the hell out of here."

As they exited the burning refinery, Garrus fell into step with Shepard. When they were sure Zaeed wasn't looking, he snaked an arm around the human's shoulders and pulled her close. "Shep, I was really worried back there…were you honestly going to shoot him?"

"No." Murmured Shepard, her blue eyes abruptly tired looking. "But I remember dealing with people like him in N7…there's no good way to get them to see sense without being a little bit dramatic…or a little bit rough. But you know me…I would never have left him to die."

Clearly pleased by this, Garrus briefly nuzzled her hair, still able to pick out her warm vanilla scent against the smoky scent of oil and fire that the refinery had deposited around her. "I know, but you still scared me. I kept thinking…is that what you saw in me when I went after Sidonis?"

Beneath his talons, Garrus felt Shepard shudder. "I'm sorry…I hope you never have to see me like that again, even if it is all an act."

And in her words the Turian could hear nothing but sincerity. He knew the way he had behaved so long ago with Sidonis had torn her apart and scared Shepard more than anything she had come up against to date. With their shuttle on approach, Garrus leaned down to brush his forehead against Shepard's. "Shep, we're in this together now. No matter what you throw at me, I'll still love you. And if you ever, ever doubt that, just look at your tags."

Shepard's only reply was one of her brilliant smiles, but for the Turian at her side, that was all he needed.


	52. Shake It Out

Here's the latest chapter, re-vamped and re-uploaded. More info, better reading. I for sure didn't like the way the other one came out, so you all get to benefit from me going back and making this work.

Inspired by Florence + The Machine's Shake It Out.

* * *

_**Shake It Out**_

Erin Shepard leaned backwards against the cool black leather of the shuttle, closing her bright blue eyes in relief. Across from her, Kasumi was chuckling quietly, but the thief seemed exceptionally quiet, which Shepard could understand. They had just gone on a dangerous mission to steal back something exceptionally valuable to Kasumi: a gray box.

The gray box in question was resting in Kasumi's hands, and as they cleared the atmosphere, Shepard looked at it. This little device had been embedded in the head of her old partner and lover, Keiji. Silently, the two women made eye contact before Shepard stood to help her teammate hook the device up.

As the gray box activated, Erin couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable. This information was not only extremely sensitive, but very personal. While the audio was streaming to Kasumi's visor, Shepard could still see some of the images that Kasumi was seeing. Even with the audio disconnected, it was clear that Kasumi was being given a choice; the data or the memories.

With the choice laid before her, Kasumi glanced away for a moment to wipe away the glittering tears that had streamed down her cheeks. Gently, Shepard stepped forward. "Is there any way we can just destroy the information?"

"No," Kasumi admitted with some pride in her voice. "Keiji's a master at encrypting files. He laced the information into his memories. You can't get one without experiencing the other."

Pausing for a moment, Shepard tried to weigh the two options. Certainly Keiji wanted the information destroyed, and it would make sense to respect his dying wishes. If they kept it and the data got in the wrong hands, the Alliance – the organization that had saved Shepard from a life on the streets so many years ago – would be implicated in something horrible. Just as the brunette opened her mouth to speak, another thought flashed through her mind.

Garrus.

It was impossible to imagine how he felt without her for two years, and now Shepard found herself wondering what she would do in Kasumi's place. If the only memories she had of Garrus were on a small gray box that also held damning evidence, there would be no question as to what she would do.

Shepard snapped her mouth shut and nodded at Kasumi. "If it's that important to you, keep it. Just make sure you're ready to live with the consequences."

A look of relief seemed to cross the thief's face as she moved to the window. "Yeah, I am. I'll stay off the grid. No one will know I exist."

Together the two women sat across from each other, and for the first time since the mission began, Kasumi flashed Shepard a genuine smile. "I think I want this…Thanks, Shepard."

Even as Kasumi activated her visor and dove back into the memories, Erin stared at the stars outside. It wasn't always easy to know what the right thing was…it was a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't. If she asked Kasumi to destroy the gray box, it would hurt her friend to a degree that Shepard didn't want to think about. But keeping the gray box was dangerous as well, especially since it contained sensitive information.

Leaning back, the spectre sighed and closed her eyes. Nothing in life could ever be easy, could it?

* * *

Garrus was completely stunned. Certainly he had seen Shepard in formal wear before, but nothing like that. Even Joker was still talking about it, the pilot's bright green eyes shining up at where the Turian stood behind him. "I mean, seriously Garrus, that shouldn't have been legal! Any shorter and the Council would have had to weaponize it!"

"Yes, I know." Growled Garrus. Certainly the crew wasn't fully aware of the true nature of the relationship between the two, but it always irked Garrus when Joker made comments like that. Certainly it was all in good fun, but still.

A small notice pinged, drawing the attention of both boys. Joker brightened and spun his chair around in time to see Shepard striding into the CIC deck in full battle armor. "Hey Commander, what happened to that dress of yours?"

"I scrapped it." Quipped the commander unceremoniously. She offered them a smile, but it seemed…solemn somehow. "Joker, get us somewhere we can refuel…Omega would be fine."

Although she only offered the Turian a quick glance, Garrus seemed to sense something was wrong and as his bond mate headed for the elevator, he followed. No words were spoken as the elevator ascended to Shepard's quarters and even as she entered the washroom to change into her comfortable clothes. Garrus seemed to instinctively understand that no words needed to be spoken right now. Instead he simply seated himself on the edge of Shepard's bed, patiently waiting for when she would come to him.

He was not disappointed. Wordlessly, Shepard emerged from the washroom and curled up by Garrus, prompting him to lean back and hold her close. "Shepard…what happened down there?"

Feeling the human spectre shrug against his chest was an odd feeling, but Shepard's voice was almost hollow. "Crashed a party. Stole the Casa Locust – the real one, not a copy. Blew up a gunship. Helped Kasumi retrieve a gray box that holds all her lover's memories."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles in surprise. "Run that last one by me one more time?"

"Blew up a gunship?"

The Turian chuckled and began to play with a few strands of Shepard's hair. "No, that's normal for you. The gray box. What's so special about this?"

From where she lay on the bed, Shepard heaved a sigh. "Kasumi used to have a partner named Keiji…eventually they became lovers. He uncovered some information that could potentially be dangerous to the Alliance and stored it in a gray box that this guy had. The catch is, the data is encrypted in with his memories of the time Keiji spend with Kasumi…so there's no way to get one without the other."

Stunned, Garrus turned to try and look at where Shepard was curled against the bleach white sheets. "So what did you do?"

She shook her head, a few strands of mahogany hair falling across the commander's bright blue eyes. "Kasumi kept it. She's going off the grid with those memories and that data."

"Isn't that a bit risky?" Garrus murmured, his voice humming in the cabin. "I mean, I trust you did what was right but if it had data that could bring down the Alliance…"

At last, Shepard sprawled out, casually tossing an arm over her eyes. "I know, I know, this could come back and bite me in the ass. But…I kept thinking of you and I couldn't tell her to destroy it. I just couldn't."

Turning around completely, Garrus stared as Shepard sighed and shook her head again. "I just thought…if you died and left me something like that, I couldn't destroy it, no matter how damning the evidence would be. I couldn't just let go of the last thing I had of you. I just…couldn't. Does that make any sort of sense?"

Stunned, Garrus stared for a moment before sliding closer and lifting Shepard's arm so that he met her pained gaze. "Shepard, you're talking to someone who spent two years on Omega thinking of you constantly. I understand your decision and if it helps, I would have done the same thing."

Shepard smiled, a sad little expression. "I just…I can't lose you. I never thought that it'd come to this, where I would be here…with you, but that's where I'm at. I can't afford to let you go. Even if that means compromising the safety of others. What kind of spectre does that make me?"

"A human one." When Shepard stared at Garrus, the Turian abruptly realized his mistake. "No! Wait, that's not what I meant! I mean…well, what it is, it's that…you have your desires and things like that…the things you want that make you who you are. You can't just give up something like that so easily….I'm not making sense."

After a moment, Shepard chuckled and a smile spread across her face. "Garrus, I'd almost forgotten how cute you are when you're flustered. But I think I get what you're saying. You can't just give everything away…you have to keep some things for yourself."

Slowly, Erin sat up and pressed her forehead against Garrus', his heat radiating through her whole body. In the silence, he purred, the humming sound creating a strange, tickling sensation in Shepard's chest.

At last, he spoke, voice low and husky. "That is exactly what I mean. Even if it was the same situation…could you live with that? Could you preserve what was left of me even if it meant keeping evidence that could doom a major organization?"

"For you?" Shepard's ocean blue eyes locked with Garrus' ice blue ones, sparkling with light. "A thousand times over. I would hold those memories and that information until the day I died."


	53. Jar of Hearts

Happy Release Eve! Tomorrow ME3 is released and I shall have my hands upon it and so we can continue this epic tale. I'm looking forward to seeing exactly what the wonderful people of Bioware have in store for us all, especially where Shepard/Garrus is concerned.

Chapter inspired by Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts

* * *

_**Jar of Hearts**_

"Where is she?"

The voice of the concerned Turian caught everyone's attention on the CIC. Even Joker swiveled his chair to see Garrus frantically searching for his brunette commanding officer.

At last, the redhead near the galaxy map spoke, her voice calm and collected. "The Commander is in the med bay, Officer Vakarian. Admiral Hackett just finished debriefing her on the mission she undertook."

Not waiting around to thank her, Garrus practically bolted back into the elevator. Of course, none of the crew could fault him for being concerned. Two days ago Shepard had gone out of contact for a mission deep into Batarian space and when she'd resumed contact, it had been shortly before the destruction of a Mass Relay.

As the elevator descended, Garrus shifted nervously, his ice blue eyes glued to the doors. Shepard had refused to tell him exactly what she was up to for fear that it would put him at risk. Now the poor Turian remained in the dark with only the knowledge that Shepard was in the medical bay.

Once the doors opened he sprinted out, catching Chakwas as she exited the medical bay. She blinked up at the disheveled Turian, clearly startled at his appearance. Chest heaving, Garrus stared down at the human before him. "Can I see her?"

"Officer Vakaraian, she's gone through an extremely traumatic event…" The doctor shook her head slowly. "Shepard needs time to rest…"

She paused, her gaze finally meeting Garrus' ice blue eyes. The concern in the Turian's face was unmistakable, even across species. With a sigh, she stepped aside and smiled wryly. "I'm going to step away for a bit. The door isn't locked. I'm going to say don't go in there, but I won't back to check."

Slightly surprised, Garrus was still as the doctor strode towards the living quarters. As soon as she was out of sight the Turian darted into the med bay, securing the door behind him. Erin Shepard sat on the last bed in the bay and as Garrus approached, she turned to look at him, clearly not expecting his appearance.

He approached, quiet for his size. "Hey."

"Hey…" Shepard appeared to be all right. A few dark bruises appeared on her arms, but even those were fading quickly. And yet something was wrong…there seemed to be a hastily erected wall of calm erected around Shepard. It didn't take long for Garrus to confirm this.

Sliding onto the bed, Garrus gently rested a talon on his mate's shoulder. "Shep, are you okay?"

Ocean blue eyes wide, Erin gazed at the Turain beside her for only a heartbeat before practically throwing herself into his arms, strong sobs shaking her shoulders. "Garrus, what have I done? I just killed 300,000 people!"

Many years ago Garrus might have been shocked to the point of silence, but by this point he was slightly more prepared for something like this. Enveloping Shepard in his arms, the Turian's chest seemed to hum. "Shepard, I know you and I know that you're not the kind of person to just wipe out a whole system without a reason. What happened down there?"

And like the floodgates had been opened Shepard managed to choke out the story between sobs. She had infiltrated the Batarian prison and rescued Hackett's friend, Doctor Kenson, who had found a Reaper artifact claimed that the Reapers were going to use the Mass Relay in that system to jump to other points in the galaxy. Somehow Kenson had become indoctrinated by the artifact and drugged Shepard for two days before she managed to escape and crash a massive asteroid into the relay, destroying it and delaying the invasion temporarily but at the cost of her military career; Hackett had hinted that she was most likely going to be court martialed for her actions.

Throughout, Garrus sat in a shocked silence. He had always known his bond mate was strong and resourceful, but nothing like this. Now he understood what Chakwas had meant when she mentioned a traumatic event…Shepard could only stay strong for so long before she broke. Long after her story concluded, the brunette trembled in Garrus' firm grasp, occasionally broken by a fresh round of tears until at last, Shepard looked up at the Turian beside her, red-eyed and out of tears to cry.

Gingerly, the blue eyed Turian brushed a few strands of hair away from Shepard's face. "You did what was right. Not everyone will see it that way, but I know what you did was right."

"But what about the Alliance?" Whispered Shepard, her voice husky. "I've always been with them…what if they discharge me?"

At this, Garrus couldn't help but chuckle as he leaned forward to press his forehead against Shepard's. "Then you can always join the Turian military. Or at least try. No matter what happens Shepard, I'm going to be here."

A heavy silence fell between the pair, which caused Garrus to pull back, his mandibles fluttering into a worried expression. Although she was weary and emotionally drained, Shepard met Garrus' inquisitive gaze with unwavering eyes. "Garrus, I'm disbanding my crew. Jacob and Miranda are returning to Cerberus, the others are going on their own…I've already spoken to some of them."

Opening his mouth to protest, Shepard placed a hand over it. "This isn't negotiable Garrus; you're leaving. If you're on my crew, they'll call you in to testify against me. I won't make you do that to me. I can give you passage to the Citadel or wherever you need to go before I have to report to Earth."

Horrified, Garrus now felt like he would be the one to cry. After all they had been through, Shepard was just leaving him? Somehow it felt like he had always known this would happen but…

"Hey." As if realizing how harsh she had come across as, Shepard leaned forward, her hand encompassing Garrus'. "What I promised to you still holds true. I will wear your ring and I will stay with you. But…"

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Garrus started to comprehend. "You have to do what's right by you. I think I understand…not that I like it."

Over the next few days, Shepard ferried crew members across the galaxy. Jacob and Miranda she dropped at a very nondescript location where another Cerberus vessel would retrieve them for reassignment. Tali was delivered to the Migrant Fleet, Grunt to Tuchanka, Zaeed to Omega, Samara to Illium, and Mordin back to a waiting Salarian ship so he could rejoin the Special Tasks Group. Jack and Leigon were dropped off at random points of their choosing, so Shepard didn't ask too many questions.

The last stop was the Citadel, where Shepard said her goodbyes to Kasumi and Thane. While Kasumi vanished into the teeming crowds of the Citadel, Shepard stood aside with Thane, her heart heavy. Although he had done surprisingly well under Mordin's care, both Shepard and Thane knew that his condition was worsening.

Shifting from foot to foot, Shepard offered a small smile and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I guess this is goodbye."

The drell nodded and cast a glance over Shepard's shoulder at where Garrus was still speaking with Joker. "All is well between you and Officer Vakarian?"

A dusty rose blush crept into Shepard's cheeks. "He's not happy that we have to leave, but we have to do what we must."

Satisfied that Garrus was distracted, Thane embraced Shepard, his voice dropping low. "By grace given me by the Goddess Arashu, I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my _Siha_, to succeed in your destiny. To light your path through the coming darkness. To give you hope, when all seems lost."

"Thank you." Muttered Shepard, bowing her head. "I hope that we can meet again."

Bowing low, Thane took one last look at Shepard, his dark eyes seeming to pierce to the Spectre's core. "I will await you across the sea."

And with that, Thane vanished into the crowds of the Citadel. Shepard knew he was going to be with his son, Kolyat, but it was still a little sad to see him go, especially knowing that he might never return.

"He's off to find his son then?" Garrus' voice was quiet as he approached.

Shepard turned, her heart clenching. She had known that this would be the hardest goodbye to make, even if she fully intended to come back for Garrus. And yet…looking into his baby blue eyes just made Shepard want to call the whole thing off. They could take the Normandy and hide in the Terminus systems…from there they could fight the Reapers and live relatively peacefully. And yet the brunette Spectre knew that wouldn't be right.

As if he knew, Garrus fluttered his mandibles into a smile. "I understand why you're doing this…and I don't think I'd like you as much if you didn't."

"Do you have a place to stay?" Shepard inquired quickly, wanting to keep him talking for as long as possible if only to put off the inevitable.

Wryly fluttering his mandibles, Garrus nodded. "Yeah…an old friend of mine from C-Sec is offering me a place until I can find my own."

An awkward silence fell between the pair. At last, Shepard closed the distance between the pair, hovering just inches from the Turian. Each seemed to search the other's features hungrily, striving to engrave them into their memory.

Standing on tip-toe, Shepard pressed her forehead to Garrus', her deep chocolate locks providing a pleasant contrast to his tan plates. Ocean blue eyes open, she met Garrus' gaze with a fierce determination. "I'm coming back for you. I promise. And I always keep my promises."

Sorrow reflected in Garrus' eyes as he pulled away. "I'll be here when you call."

Hesitantly, Shepard backed up into the Normandy, keeping her gaze locked on Garrus until the doors closed, separating the pair by thick steel plating and millions of miles of space. Only after the Normandy had soared away from dock did Garrus allow himself to turn and head through to C-Sec to meet his friend. Even as he strode away, the Turian had the feeling that part of his heart had been left aboard the Normandy.


	54. Bluebird

Heyooo! Update time! I am now in the possession of Mass Effect 3! I'm not halfway through the game and it's already made me cry three times and laugh countless more. SUCH an amazing game. This is just filler between 2 and 3, just letting everyone know. Also, the return of Caius! Anyone remember him from chapter 1? It only took another 53 chapters for him to return. More chapters to come, I promise. As always, remember to leave a comment and suggest songs for me! I will do my best to use them.

Inspired by Sara Bareilles' song, Bluebird.

* * *

_**Bluebird**_

A month passed. Garrus spent most of his time on the Citadel helping out his old friend Caius and generally trying to get in contact with Shepard. However, it was increasingly difficult due to her position and eventually he couldn't get through at all. Despite trying to keep busy with preparing for the Reapers, Garrus found himself a little more than depressed. It was as though Shepard was gone all over again…the Turian didn't know how long he would be able to keep himself sane this time around.

"Hey." Caius' voice startled Garrus from his thoughts as his friend sat beside him on the balcony.

Offering a small Turian smile in return, Garrus set aside the data pad in front of him. "Sorry, I was distracted. Didn't think you'd be back so early."

With a shrug, Caius stared out at the wards below. "Yeah, neither did I. You go up to the hospital today?"

Unconsciously, Garrus' talon flew to the bandages on his face. "Yeah. They say it's all healing fine…I should be able to take the bandage off in another month or two. Depends on how things look."

Silence fell between the pair for a long time. Garrus shifted, a little uncomfortable in the quiet atmosphere. Since returning he hadn't told Caius about what he had gone through or where he had been…both Turians had been too busy to really catch up and even then, neither one wanted to really breach the topic.

Apparently the same thought had been on Caius' mind, since he turned to his friend with a sigh. "Garrus, what happened out there? The last I heard from you was almost two years ago, after Commander Shepard's funeral…then nothing. Honestly everyone thought you were dead. Then you show up out of nowhere and need a place to stay. Where were you?"

"It's…." Garrus closed his ice blue eyes and heaved a sigh. "It's kind of a long story. I don't know where to start."

Standing, Caius stretched. "How about the part where you vanished after Shepard's funeral? You start, I'll bring us something to drink."

As his friend moved for the kitchen, Garrus turned to look at him. "Ah, nothing for me…I kind of gave up drinking."

The look that Caius gave Garrus was one of confusion and astonishment. Garrus couldn't help but chuckle. "That's…that's part of the story. I guess I sort of had a revelation after Shepard's funeral…"

And so it all came out. Garrus spoke for almost an hour, describing his work on Omega as the vigilante Archangel, Shepard's miraculous return to life thanks to Cerberus, his rescue from Omega, Shepard's new mission, and ultimately their new relationship. To his credit, Caius sat and listened, partly astounded, partly amazed.

When Garrus finished, Caius set aside his empty glass. "So you're telling me that you, Garrus Vakarian, are Commander Shepard's bond mate?"

"Something like that." Mumbled Garrus, his gaze focused on the wards outside. "Honestly with Shepard in hot water with the Alliance and the Reapers coming I'm not sure where we stand…But she said she would come back and get me when the time to fight came, so I'm trying to be ready."

Casting his eyes across the various data pads on the desk, Caius fluttered his mandibles. "So that's what you've been doing…"

At last standing, the Turian sniper stretched. "Yeah…Shep's going to need all the help she can get. It's the least I can do for her. But the more I think about it, the more clear it's becoming…"

Confused, Caius stared at Garrus as he moved to the window, the lights from outside flickering across his friend's cobalt blue tattoos. His voice was low as he went on. "I need to go back to Palaven and talk with my father."

It seemed that today was a day for surprises. Caius rose, his eyes wide. "Garrus, are you serious? I understand you and your father haven't…"

"Seen eye to eye, I know." Finished Garrus, his blue eyes hard. "But he's still got sway with the Primarch and I need that sort of support for when the Reapers come. We need to be ready."

With a cautious step towards his friend, Caius nodded. "Okay, but what about you and Commander Shepard? I doubt your father will be so thrilled to help if he knows you're in a relationship with a human…even if that human is the famous Commander Shepard."

A quick flutter of his mandibles gave Garrus a sort of smirking look. "He doesn't have to know. But I need his support…Shepard needs his support. I already booked a shuttle to take me there tomorrow."

Still shaking his head, Caius crossed his arms over his chest. "You really do care for her, don't you? Shepard, I mean."

If it were possible for Turians to blush, Garrus probably would have been doing so in a spectacular fashion. Silently thanking the Spirits that he couldn't, Garrus shrugged. "She's…she's been everything I've never found in a mate before. I'll follow her to hell and back."

Thoughtful for a moment, Garrus turned to face his friend. "Caius, I can't thank you enough…for everything. I was wondering if you could do one more thing for me after I leave."

"Sure." Caius shrugged casually, still a bit shocked by his friend's tale. "What do you need?"

Scooping up a data pad, Garrus flipped through a couple of files before he seemed satisfied. "I haven't been able to get any sort of communication to Shepard lately, but I need to tell her I'm going to Palaven. Can you ask Counselor Anderson to give her that message from me?"

Opening his mouth to make a smart remark, Caius stopped short upon meeting Garrus' eyes. The two had been friends since their first days in C-Sec, and yet in all his years of knowing the blue eyed Turian, Caius had never seen such a look in his eyes. There was something different about him now…a sort of determination tempered by some other emotion that couldn't be named.

With a soft click, Caius shut his mouth and nodded. "Yeah. Of course I will."

* * *

Erin Shepard lay on her bed in the tiny apartment that had been assigned to her. Truth be told, she knew she had gotten off lucky with just house arrest and being removed from active duty for killing 300,000 Batarians. Still, it drove her nuts to know that her ship and her crew were out there doing important things and here she was, stuck inside.

Well, not always inside. The Alliance had agreed that as long as Shepard stayed on base and was accompanied by a young marine by the name of James Vega, the Spectre could leave her place. Still, that didn't leave a lot of freedom…although she did get to go work out with the marines to stay in fighting shape.

What really bothered Shepard was the fact that they had cut her off from the extranet, so that mean no contact with any of her old crew….including Garrus. Being separated from the Turian had nearly driven the usually stable Shepard to a state of half-insane restlessness, but eventually she managed.

Staring out the window, Shepard sighed heavily. As much as she had come to dislike the apartment, she enjoyed the bed. It was set into the wall, a wide window giving a view to the cityscape below. Right now it was dark, a few visible stars shining feebly above the bright city lights. While it wasn't nearly as nice as the one on the Normandy, Shepard admitted that she would have to make do. It certainly wasn't as big, but since she didn't need to share with Garrus right now, it worked out all right.

A knock on the door startled the brunette upright, her hair wild. Quickly shrugging on a sweatshirt, Shepard could hardly imagine who needed her at this late an hour. Blinking in the bright lights, she opened the door. "Vega, this better be damn important if you're-"

She stopped mid-sentence, ocean blue eyes wide. Anderson stood at her door, looking slightly amused at the disheveled Spectre before him. "Shepard."

"Anderson!" Erin stepped aside as Anderson entered the apartment, hastily trying to smooth her unruly hair. "I…I'm sorry, I didn't expect…"

Chuckling, he held up a hand. "I know this isn't the best time for a visit. But I just got a message from a friend of yours on the Citadel…wanted to get it to you as soon as possible."

Abruptly nervous, Shepard pulled her sweatshirt closer around her slim frame while racking her brain as to why someone would need to contact her so urgently. "What's the message?"

A knowing smile graced Anderson's face momentarily. "It's from Garrus Vakarian. He wanted to let you know that he's going to Palaven. He had Udina pass the message to me, since you're…"

"A bit out of contact, yeah." Muttered Shepard, now distracted. "Thanks…"

Upon seeing that Shepard wasn't in a mood to discuss this message further, Anderson excused himself. Once more in the darkened apartment, Shepard curled back into bed, her knees pulled to her chest. Garrus was going back to Palaven…she could only hope that he would be safe there if the Reapers attacked. Gazing out the window, Shepard allowed her eyes to lock onto the brightest star in the sky. Planet side it was so hard to see them with all the light pollution, while aboard the Normandy they could see billions of them.

Unconsciously, Erin's hand curled around the dog tags she had refused to take off, despite being removed from active duty and the little ring that hung beside them. "Be safe out there Garrus."


	55. Dog Days Are Over

Well, it took some time and a lot of swearing, but I finished ME3! I already know that I'm altering the ending because honestly, WTF. I've done my research and even if I'd gotten it all perfect I would have had to alter it. That's all I'm saying for now. From this point out, if you haven't finished ME3 or started it, there will be spoilers. Please enjoy and as always, feel free to leave a review or a song I should use.

Inspired by Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over"

* * *

_**Dog Days Are Over**_

A year passed. The galaxy settled into a sort of peace and on Earth, Shepard settled into a semi-routine. She would do work, read, work out with Vega and the marines, shop for groceries every few weeks, and at night she would stare at the stars, hoping that Garrus was still out there waiting for her.

That is, until everything changed.

Erin Shepard stared out her window, a data pad she had been studying held loosely in her hand. On the lawn below a young boy was playing with a model of an Alliance cruiser. He came there most every day to play, and Shepard had somehow become attached. Something about his chocolate brown hair reminded her of a much younger self.

Abruptly the door slid open, causing Shepard to turn as James Vega snapped off a hasty salute. "Commander."

Turning from the window, Shepard sighed. "You're not supposed to call me that any more James."

"Not supposed to salute you either." He fired back, which brought a smile to Shepard's face. However, that smile didn't stay in place long as James went on. "We gotta go. The defense committee wants to see you."

Eyebrows arched, Shepard tossed the data pad back onto the bed. "Sounds important."

In the hall, everyone seemed to be moving with a nervous sort of energy. Carefully dodging around a few people, Shepard furrowed her brow. "What's going on?"

Vega shook his head. "Couldn't say. Just told me that they needed you…now."

Before Shepard could reply, her ocean blue eyes caught sight of a figure through the crowd. In his best dress blues, Anderson strode towards the pair, his deep gaze locked onto Shepard. Vega halted and snapped off a salute, but Shepard just felt confused. "Anderson?"

Taking her hand, the Admiral led her away from Vega. "You look good Shepard! Maybe a little soft around the edges. How you holding up since being relieved from duty?"

A pink flush crept into Shepard's cheeks as Anderson playfully poked at her abdomen. She was anything but soft and they both knew it. Anderson had always been like a father figure to the parentless Shepard, and this was just their own playful banter. She winked one brilliant blue eye. "It's not so bad, once you get used to the hot food and soft beds"

"We'll get it sorted out." Replied Anderson with a note of seriousness in his tone.

Together the pair moved into even busier corridors, and the brunette couldn't help but look around at the hustle and bustle. "What's going on? Why's everyone in such a hurry?"

"Admiral Hackett's mobilizing the fleets." Anderson muttered, his voice low and solemn. That was one thing Shepard always loved about her adopted father; he always told things to her straight. "I'm guessing word's made it to Alliance Command…something big's headed our way."

Freezing at the bottom of a flight of stairs, Shepard stared up at Anderson, all color draining form her cheeks. "The Reapers?"

With a shake of his head, Anderson turned back to her. "We don't know. Not for certain."

An old surge of frustration and anger surged through Shepard at this denial of what she had always claimed was true. "What else could it be?"

A wry smile flitted across Anderson's face as he looked down at Shepard. "If I knew that…"

Hands balled into fists, Shepard's blue gaze was hard. "It's the Reapers. And we're not ready for them. Not by a long shot."

"Tell that to the committee!" Quipped Anderson as the pair jogged up the remaining steps.

Behind his back, Shepard rolled her eyes, venom dripping in her voice. "Unless we're planning to talk the Reapers to death, the committee is a waste of time."

More officers were hurrying around as they continued on. Anderson's voice was one of reason when he spoke. "They're just scared. None of them have seen what you've seen. We've all reviewed your reports, seen the data you've collected, but it's all just theory to us. You've been there. In the trenches. Fighting them. You know what they're capable of."

Still seeking an outlet for her pent up frustration, Shepard glared at Anderson. "That why they grounded me? Took away my ship?"

Pulling to a halt, Anderson turned to face Shepard at last, his voice that of a parent trying to reason with a child. "You know that's not true. The shit you've done…any other soldier would have been tried, court-martialed, and discharged. It's your knowledge of the Reapers that kept that from happening."

"That, and your good word?" Shepard couldn't help but be a bit skeptical at this.

Still, Anderson's tone was nothing but sincere as he went on. "Yeah. I trust you, Shepard. And so does the committee."

Some of the venom drained from her tone, Shepard shook her head. "I'm just a soldier, Anderson. I'm no politician."

As the pair continued to move, Anderson scoffed. "I don't need you to be either. I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to help us stop the Reapers!"

Together they entered a waiting chamber where a young Alliance officer waved them through as Vega rejoined the pair as they headed towards the committee chamber. "They're expecting you two, Admiral."

"Good luck in there Shepard." Vega called, offering a grim sort of smile.

"Shepard?"

Erin froze for a heartbeat at the voice that called her. While not nessecarily an unwelcome voice, it was one that had the usually unshakeable Spectre on edge. She turned, brows furrowed. "Kaidan?"

As Shepard approached her old biotic teammate, Anderson nodded at him. "Major, how'd it go in there?"

The dark haired biotic shrugged. "I can never tell with them. I'm just waiting for orders now."

Approaching once more the young officer motioned for Anderson to follow, so the pair set off again. As she passed Kaidan, he gave Shepard a small smile and a nod. Vega glanced between the two, taking special note of how Kaidan's gaze lingered on the Commander's retreating form. "You know the commander?"

A note of regret was unmistakable in Kaidan's voice as he replied. "I used to."

Within the committee chamber, Shepard found herself strangely at ease. She had no issues being in front of higher ranking officers, and between them and Kaidan, she would pick the committee every time. From where they were seated, the committee chairman greeted them. "Admiral Anderson. Shepard."

"What's the situation?" Shepard's voice was brimming with curiosity, not one to play around with small talk when there were Reapers on the way.

Taking a seat as an aide gave Shepard a data pad, the chairman seemed a bit forlorn. "We were hoping you could tell us."

As she looked over the data, another woman spoke up. "The reports coming in are unlike anything we've ever seen. Whole colonies have gone dark. We've lost contact with everything beyond the Sol Relay."

"Whatever this is," Continued the first councilor, his voice hushed, "It's incomprehensively powerful."

Old anger surging up her spine, Shepard lowered the data pad, blue eyes piercing. "You brought me here to confirm what you already know… The Reapers are here."

It was as if that one statement had power to freeze the whole room in its tracks. Shepard could feel their eyes on her, some incredulous, some disbelieving, but most were scared. At last the second councilor spoke. "Then…how do we stop them?"

"Stop them?" Shepard cast a quick glance at Anderson, who nodded as she went on, slowly approaching. "This isn't about strategy or tactics. This is about survival! The Reapers are more advanced than we are. More powerful. More intelligent. They don't fear us, and they'll never take pity on us."

Looking as though she were going to cry, the counselor shook her head. "But…there must be some way!"

Shepard glanced around. All eyes in the room were on her…a twinge of nerves shot through her before the Spectre spoke again. "If we're gonna stand any chance of surviving this, we're going to have to stand together."

"That's it?" Exclaimed the other counselor. "That's our plan?"

Before Shepard could respond with some choice words she learned from Jack, a communications officer stood. "Admiral, we've lost contact with Luna Base!"

Baffled, Anderson turned back to Shepard. "The moon? They couldn't be that close already…"

"How'd they get past our defenses?"

Shepard resisted the strong urge to roll her eyes and make yet another smart remark. It would seem that the year off duty was making the commander restless and agitated. Still, the communications officer cut her off. "Sir, UK headquarters has a visual!"

On the giant screen, snow obscured the picture momentarily before an image flickered in for a moment. An explosion rocked the camera and sent the officer on screen flying before cutting out. Quickly another image replaced it and involuntarily Shepard gasped. Great Reaper ships were descending onto London, with fires breaking out everywhere. Scenes of similar destruction were pouring in from across the globe.

As she stared in a sort of helpless horror, Anderson stepped back towards Shepard. "Why haven't we heard from Admiral Hackett?"

"What do we do?"

The question was asked with an obvious desperation. Finally, Shepard felt the weight of her role settle on her shoulders; humanity was looking to her to be their savior in their final hours. Striding forward, she pointed to the screen where a frozen image of a Reaper flickered. "The only thing we can. We fight or we die."

Anderson nodded, drawing level with Shepard. "We should get to the Normandy…"

That thought was cut short as a great metallic hum sounded from overhead. As the officers approached the great glass windows behind them, Shepard already knew what they were seeing. Even so, nothing could have prepared the brunette for seeing the great black claws of the Reaper descending from the cloud cover and smashing into the skyscrapers. A crimson red energy beam paved the way and Shepard's eyes went wide as realization struck. "MOVE!"

The blast caught Shepard and flung her into a bench. Rolling off, Erin stared at the ceiling before slipping out of consciousness. How long she was out, Shepard wasn't sure, but she awoke to Anderson calling her name. Quickly rising, she rubbed at her throbbing head. Anderson caught her hand and hauled Shepard to her feet. "Come on, get up. Here, take this. We've got to get moving."

Together they moved towards the shattered window while Erin checked the pistol Anderson had offered her. Meanwhile, the older man scanned through the frequencies, his voice urgent. "This is Admiral Anderson. Report in. Anyone? Major Alenko, is that you? What's your status?"

Once at the window the pair paused to see another Reaper descending upon the city. Shaking his head, Anderson stared out at the destruction, Kaidan still speaking in the communicator. "I can't raise the Normandy. You'll have to contact them. We'll meet you at the landing zone. Anderson out."

No words were exchanged, but the two soldiers knew that this was just the beginning. Together they leapt down , cautiously making their way to the spaceport where Kaidan would pick them up. Shepard smirked as husks fell quickly to her pistol fire. The pair moved into a demolished building for cover, but as she pried open a set of doors for Anderson to slip through, Shepard paused.

Slowly, the brunette made her way to the far side of the room and crouched by the vent. Inside was the child she had always seen playing in the lawn by her window. Now he crouched in the dim light, clearly afraid. Crouching down, she smiled. "Hey. It's okay…"

The child shuffled backwards, fear evident in his dark eyes. "Everyone's dying!"

Outside the Reaper's movements shook the building, which served only to spook the child more. Calmly, Shepard extended a hand. "Come here. I need to get you someplace safe. Take my hand."

However, the child didn't budge. "You can't help me."

"Shepard! In here!"

Erin glanced back towards Anderson, nodded, and looked back only to find that the child had vanished. Confused, she shook her head and jogged to catch up to Anderson. He was struggling with some downed beams and groaned as Shepard approached. "Aaaugh. This is a goddamned mess! Every minute these machines are here, thousands of innocent people die! I won't be responsible."

As he ducked through, Shepard paused and shook her head. "It's hard enough fighting a war. But it's worse knowing no matter how hard you try, you can't save them all."

"Exactly." Admitted Anderson as he picked his way through the rubble. "It's so fast…I thought we'd have more time."

Lifting a beam for Anderson to crawl under, Shepard sighed. "We knew they were coming."

On the other side, Anderson straightened. "And they still just cut through our defenses! We need to go to the Citadel… talk to the council."

Confused, Erin paused as Anderson inspected a narrow pathway. "The Citadel? The fight's here!"

Voice dropping low, Anderson didn't meet Shepard's gaze. "It'll be everywhere soon enough. You said it yourself; the Reapers will destroy everything if we don't stop them. The council has to help us!"

"You sure about that?" Quipped Shepard, her ocean blue eyes locked on the dark drop below as they edged along the wall.

"No," Admitted Anderson, "But you were a council Spectre. That has to count for something."

A sharp tremor rocked the building, and for one heart-stopping moment, Shepard wavered on the edge of falling in. However, Anderson reached out and yanked her back, offering a small smile as he did so. Shepard returned the gesture, her tone one of gratitude. "Thanks…I owe you one."

Once on firm ground, Anderson shook his head. "More than one."

As they kept moving, Shepard couldn't help but agree. It had been Anderson who had pushed her through to be everything she had become…he took her in when she had nobody, nominated her for the N7 program, and gave his support for her to become a Spectre. She owed him more than she could ever repay him for. Together the pair sprinted for the space port, cutting a swathe of destruction through countless husks that Shepard finally identified as mutated Batarians.

With the radio from a downed gunship, Shepard and Anderson were able to hail Kaidan and the Normandy. As the magnificent form of the Normandy swept in, Shepard took a running leap and stood in the cargo bay where Kaidan stood to help her aboard. He flashed her a small grin. "Welcome aboard Shepard."

With a curt nod, Shepard turned back to Anderson, who was still on the scrap of rubble. "Anderson, come on!"

The wind whipped Shepard's mahogany locks back from her face, giving her sort of a wild look. Anderson smiled sadly and shook his head. "I'm not going. You saw those men back there! There's a million more like them and they need a leader."

"We're in this fight together Anderson!" Cried Shepard over the howl of Normandy's engines. If it weren't for Kaidan and James standing right there, Shepard had half a mind to jump back onto the ground.

As though he could read her mind, Anderson smiled wryly. "It's a fight we can't win. Not without help. We need every species, and all their ships to even have a chance at defeating the Reapers. Talk to the council. Convince them to help us."

For the first time in three years, Shepard felt a note of fear creep into her voice. "What if they won't listen?"

"Then make them listen!" Roared Anderson, and at this Shepard had to smile. After all, she had learned how to shout orders from him when she was just a recruit. "Now go, and that's an order!"

A mischievous sparkle in her blue eyes, Erin stepped closer to the edge of the gangway. "I don't take orders from you anymore, remember?"

Anderson paused, then flung something silver at Shepard, who caught it almost on instinct. "Consider yourself reinstated…Commander. You know what you have to do."

Pride welled up in Shepard's chest as she looped the tags around her neck. "I'll be back for you! And I'll bring every fleet I can! Good luck."

The Normandy rose into the sky as smaller shuttles swooped in to claim survivors. Erin froze as she spotted the child from earlier stumbling near one of the shuttles. Across the great distance, her deep blue eyes met his sage green ones. Above, a Reaper emitted a deep bass tone which caused the child to cover his ears before a soldier ushered him into the shuttle. Heaving a sigh of relief, Shepard watched as the shuttle rose into the sky.

But relief was short lived. The Reaper's crimson red beam sliced through the shuttle, sending it careening into the water below with a blast of fire. With Joker at the helm, the Normandy soared out of the atmosphere, Shepard knew that they would be safe. As the boys moved towards the elevator, Erin closed her eyes, her hand unconsciously moving to the ring on her finger.

This was going to be a long war.


	56. Rolling In The Deep

Well, it certainly has been a while, hasn't it? Hopefully ya'll have had time to finish ME3 (do not post spoilers in your reviews, but if you want to discuss it with me, PM me. I'll get back to you), and I've had time to finish out a rough semester. I'm working on a second playthrough since my first didn't go so well (missed a few things), but so far so good. And I promise, I'll get you guys some good Garrus action soon. I've been working on planning out songs to chapters and...well, you guys will be satisfied for a while. As of now, this story should end up being over 90 chapters long. Going is slow though, since I'm not only working from a game and need the transcripts, but I'm also working on my own original novel. Please bear with me though, because ya'll are awesome.

Chapter inspired by Adele's Rolling in the Deep

* * *

_**Rolling In The Deep**_

Mars loomed on the screens, it's rust-red landscapes almost glowing in the abyss of space. Shepard stood in the shuttle and inhaled slowly. Fleeing Earth had felt horrible; like she was abandoning the billions of people who lived there. But Hackett had ordered her to go to Mars and retrieve Liara, so she would obey.

Behind her in the shuttle, Shepard could feel Kaidan's deep brown gaze on her. Their last interaction had been….tense. Shepard ended up leaving him sitting in a café on the Citadel with Garrus. The thought of Garrus caused the brunette's heart to clench in her chest. It had been so long since they'd seen each other or even spoken.

"Still no contact from the base," James quipped, his voice filtered through his helmet. "But we've got a big storm headed our way."

Sliding her helmet on, Shepard turned to the boys. "How long until it hits?"

With a shake of his head, James shifted his rifle. "Half an hour, tops. After that, we're going to have trouble keeping up comms with the Normandy."

Quickly hopping out onto the dusty surface of Mars, Shepard strode forward, her breath muffled through her helmet. Although she was aware that a storm was rolling in, something about the silence of Mars was unnerving. The fact that nobody was responding at the Prothean Archives was even more unsettling.

A dull crack sounded through the thin atmosphere, which set Shepard on edge. Silently motioning her squad forward, the brunette Spectre ducked behind a small temporary barrier in time to see Cerberus troops executing Alliance soldiers. Behind her, James exhaled a series of expletives into the communication systems. Wordlessly, Shepard opened fire on the troops, her pistol cracking out rounds while Kaidan unleashed a fierce biotic throw.

Trudging down the hill, Shepard frowned at the familiar white and yellow armor. Behind her, James nudged a body with his toe. "These guys were Cerberus, weren't they?"

"Yeah…" Shepard murmured, her eyes trained on the dead Alliance personnel.

Close behind, Kaidan's suspicion was barely masked. "Cerberus? What are they doing here on Mars?"

Gaze locked straight ahead, Shepard sighed. "Good question."

"You mean you don't know?"

Half turning, Shepard's blazing blue eyes seemed to bore straight through Kaidan's heavy armor. "I'm not with them anymore, if that's what you're asking."

Wounded, Kaidan seemed indignant. "It wasn't, but we've got a shadowy terrorist organization infiltrating one of our top research facilities. I think that warrants a bit of suspicion!"

By this point the trio had picked their way up the worn path and around parked Cerberus vehicles that reminded Shepard of her beloved Mako, now frozen in a hunk of ice on Alchera. James nodded as they approached the entrance. "Doesn't look like they came here in force."

"Yeah," Shepard agreed, a note of relief sinking into her tone. "Just a few vehicles."

Kaidan, however, was not as optimistic. "They must've had help from the inside."

Resisting the urge to smack him silly, Shepard checked the thermal clip on her pistol. "You could be right."

"Didn't you tell Cerberus to screw off?" Inquired James as they trudged up the ramp.

Shepard fired him a quick smirk. "Yeah, they kinda got that impression when I blew up the Collector base."

James laughed, the sound strangely hollow through the communications system, but Kaidan remained silent. At the console, Shepard moved to activate the lift to take them into the base. Even as the doors slammed closed, the biotic approached. "Shepard, I need a straight answer."

Not quite apprehensive, Shepard eyed him. "About what?"

"Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?" Kaidan's voice was intense, almost accusatory as he moved towards Shepard.

Never one to back down, she took a step closer. "What makes you think that I know what they're up to?"

As though realizing what he'd done, Kaidan drifted towards the railing of the elevator. "You worked for them, for God's sake. How am I not supposed to think that?"

Swallowing several bitter replies that would have almost certainly come out of Garrus' mouth, Shepard approached her old squad mate. "We joined forces to take down the Collectors, that's it."

"There's more to it." Insisted Kaidan, not able to bring his gaze to meet Shepard's. "They rebuilt you from the ground up, they gave you a ship, resources…"

A bitter smile hidden behind the helmet, Shepard leaned against the railing. "Let me be clear; I've had no contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base. And I have no idea why they're here now or what they want."

From where he had remained since the conversation started, Vega piped up. "Commander Shepard's been under constant survalence since coming back to Earth. No way they've communicated since."

At last, Kaidan straightened. "Sorry Shepard, it's just that-"

Overhead, atmosphere rushed in, cutting off anything more that Kaidan would say. Removing her helmet, Shepard glanced back at him, eyes hard. "You should know what I'm about, Kaidan."

This pointed statement seemed to stun Kaidan into silence as the elevator finally rose into the hangar. Brushing a strand of hair from her face, Erin glanced at her old comrade. "Please just trust me."

"I do, it's just-" Kaidan was once more cut off by a series of metallic bangs and clangs that came from the vent system. The trio scurried to cover behind one of the massive Mako-like vehicles, guns at the ready.

Peering out from cover, Shepard's blue eyes went wide as she witnessed Liara T'Soni leapt from the duct, pursued closely by two Cerberus agents. Before she could move in to help, the asari tossed out a biotic singularity which sent the armored agents spiraling around it helplessly. As Liara cooly unloaded her pistol into the pair, Shepard slowly broke cover to approach.

Vega raised his rifle, but the brunette human pushed it away. "Easy there Vega, she's with us."

At the sound of her voice, Liara turned, but did not offer a smile. "Shepard, thank the goddess you're alive."

"Liara…" Erin smiled, as if to assure her old friend – now the Shadow Broker, she had to remind herself – that all was well for now.

This seemed to assure Liara as she went on. "I was worried when the reports came in. They hit Earth hard?"

There was no question who she meant by 'they'. Shepard cast her eyes down, but Kaidan answered for her. "Yeah. It was hard to leave like that."

A look of surprise flitted across Liara's face for an instant before she shook her head. "Kaidan…I'm sorry. But…why'd you come here?"

"Hackett ordered us to come. Said you'd know what was going on." Shepard replied with a little smirk. The asari seemed to understand this little jibe at her current profession as the Shadow Broker, but didn't otherwise acknowledge it.

Moving towards the window, she grinned. "I do."

"Halleluja, some answers, finally." Grumbled Vega as he and Kaidan followed the two women.

Now walking backwards, Liara furrowed her elegant brow. "Maybe. I've discovered plans for a Prothean device. One that could wipe out the Reapers."

Confused, Shepard pulled to a halt beside her friend. "Here? On Mars?"

"In the Prothean Archives, yes." Liara glanced out at the dusty red landscape and over to the clearly Alliance made facility that sprawled over the foreground.

Shepard, however, was having none of it. "We've known about the Archives for decades. Why now?"

Liara seemed slightly amused by this. "Process of elimination, mixed with a little desperation. When I got the data on the Alpha Relay incident, I knew I had to do something. Hackett knew it too. He contacted me, asking if I would use my resources as the Shadow Broker to find a way to stop the Reapers. My search led me here. Hackett got me access to the Archives and kept me updated on your status. I meant to come see you, but…"

With a shake of her head, Shepard smiled. "I was under house arrest. There wasn't much I could do to help you anyway."

Seemingly relieved, Liara turned her gaze back to the window. "I suppose you're right. In any case, my work paid off. The Archives are full of data. An overwhelming amount."

"I guess I'll believe it when I see it…" Murmured Shepard. "Where do we find this weapon?"

Liara shook her head. "It's not a weapon, not yet. It's plans for a device. A blueprint."

Shepard shrugged. "It's more than we had a minute ago. How do we get it?"

Elegantly gesturing to a steel and glass causeway, Liara sighed. "The Archives are just across that tramway. Assuming Cerberus hasn't locked it down."

"What are they after?" The question had left Shepard's mouth, even though she already knew the answer.

Vega piped up for the first time since the conversation began. "Yeah, they seem hell-bent on catching you."

Completely un-intimidated, Liara sighed again. "They want what I'm here for…what we're all here for."

A headache started to form at the base of Shepard's skull as the conversation went on. "But why?"

"The Protheans came close to defeating the Reapers. They had plans to destroy them, but ran out of time." Admitted Liara, a hint of her old background as an archeologist creeping into her tone.

The pieces began to click as Kaidan stepped forward. "And anything powerful enough to destroy the Reapers…"

"Just might be something Cerberus would be interested in." Grimaced Shepard as Vega adjusted his combat rifle.

Almost an hour later, Shepard found herself sprinting headlong after a Cerberus AI in a mechanoid body with Liara and Kaidan right behind her. There was no way in hell she was about to let Cerberus get away, especially not when this mech body had the plans for the Prothean weapon that could win the war.

"James, do you read me?" Before he could answer, Shepard was barking orders into the com. "Cerberus has the data. Radio the Normandy, get them down here NOW!"

Hauling herself up a ladder, Shepard froze as a Cerberus shuttle swooped in, doors wide open for the mech to leap inside. Panic began to finally trill into Shepard's voice. "They're getting away! James! Normandy! Anybody!"

A familiar, almost cocky voice filtered through. "I got this one!"

In a move that even Shepard had to admit was a little risky, James soared out of the sky and slammed the nose of the Normandy's shuttle into the side of the Cerberus one, sending the enemy craft spiraling dangerously low over the ground team's head before crash landing. Rising, Shepard offered a hand to where Kaidan had thrown himself to the ground, but he waved it off.

She turned and waved at James, who slowly began to pilot the shuttle down while Kaidan went to retrieve Liara. Once the door opened, James stumbled out, a little shaken from the stunt. "Normandy's en route, they'll be here soon."

About to make a remark about his flying skills, Shepard was cut off by the sound of metal shearing. Spinning so fast it would've given anyone else whiplash, Shepard stared in horror as the mech rose from the flames, looking like some sort of Cerberus made demoness. Lightning fast, it knocked Liara aside and ignored Kaidan's bullets before lifting him in the air by his neck.

"KAIDAN!" Roared Shepard, pulling her pistol and finally moving to action. "Let him go!"

There was a momentary pause where it seemed as though the mech might listen. Any ideas of it sparing Kaidan were dashed as it slammed Kaidan into the shuttle repeatedly.

Then it made the mistake of turning to attack Shepard. Pistol cracking almost non-stop, Commander Shepard held her ground, the mech finally crumpled at her feet. The rest was sort of a blur, Joker calling something about Reapers incoming, the Normandy swooping in….

The only thing that Shepard could think of was Kaidan, who was now slung over her shoulder. All she could see was not the human who had stood by her on the SR 1, but instead, a Turain vigilante who had taken a rocket to the face because she had been unable to save him.


	57. Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop

Chapter is alternatively titled: Palaven burns while I play unfitting music. You're welcome for the super updates, btw. Felt bad I left ya'll hanging.

Inspired by Landon Pigg's Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop

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_**Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop**_

Shepard had thought leaving Earth would be the worst part of the war. However, she hadn't exactly anticipated having to watch the Turian home world burn, knowing that somewhere down there, Garrus was in the thick of it. But in order to save her world and all the other worlds, she needed the Turian leader, the Primarch, and since the old one had been KIA, she was needed to find the new one. Liara and Vega at her side, she charged back to the main Turian encampment, the communications tower successfully repaired.

Barely out of breath, she slowed to a halt by the general in charge. "What've you got?"

He straightened, dark skin reminding Shepard of Nihlus on Eden Prime. "As your partner said, succession is usually simple, but right now the Hierarchy's in chaos. So many dead or MIA…"

"I need someone, I don't care who." Growled Shepard, a note of desperation coloring her tone. "As long as they can get us the Turian resources we need."

The general was silent, as though thinking of an answer when a familiar, melodic tone rang out over the din.

"I'm on it Shepard. We'll find you the Primarch."

Blue eyes wide, Shepard stared, practically gaping as Garrus Vakarian strode up towards them. It had been over a year since the pair had seen each other…his armor now bore large silver portions and the scarring had gotten better. No more bandage covered Garrus' right cheek and mandible, but the Turian's ice blue eyes were as hypnotizing as ever.

Barely able to form the word, Shepard blinked. "Garrus!"

Similarly startled, the general snapped off a salute. "Vakarian, sir! I didn't see you arrive…"

Garrus nodded, his voice confident. "At ease, general."

Ignoring the fact that Vega and Liara were watching, Shepard strode forward, her voice a bit husky when she spoke. "You're alive…"

She extended her hand for a shake, which Garrus quickly clasped between both talons, leaning close, a little sparkle in his eyes. "I'm hard to kill. You should know that."

At this, a smile finally broke over Shepard's features, the first true smile since Earth. "Great to see you again. I thought you'd be on Palaven…"

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven." Asserted Garrus, falling back into a strictly business demeanor. "I'm the closest damn thing we have to an expert on Reaper forces, so I'm…advising."

Shifting, Shepard glanced back at her crew, ushering them forward. "James, this is Garrus Vakarian. He helped me stop the collectors. He's a hell of a soldier."

With a strong shake, James quickly sized up the Turian. Garrus remained poker faced, but nodded. "Lieutenant. Good to see you too Liara."

"Good to see you in one piece Garrus." Replied the asari, looking similarly relieved that their old friend had survived.

It didn't take much to get Garrus to shift his attention back to Shepard, who looked as though she couldn't take her eyes off him. "General Corinthus filled me in. We know who we're after."

From where he was working over a terminal, the general glanced back. "Palaven command tells me that the next Primarch is general Adrian Victus."

"Victus?" Liara seemed startled, her eyes wide. "His name's crossed my desk…"

Now a bit concerned, Shepard raised an eyebrow. If his name was crossing the desk of the Shadow Broker, things could be interesting. "Know him Garrus?"

Similarly enthralled with Shepard as she was with him, Garrus couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. It was astounding…a year apart had not diminished anything. In fact, it simply reminded the Turian of what he'd been missing the whole time. Returning his attention to the matter at hand, he nodded. "I was fighting alongside him this morning. Lifelong military, gets results, popular with his troops. Not so popular with military command. Has a reputation for playing loose with accepted strategy."

Brow furrowed, Shepard had to remind herself that yes, there was still a war going on and that other reunions could be held later. "What do you mean?"

It was Liara who spoke up. "On Taedrus, during the uprisings, his squad discovered a Salarian spy ring about the same time the Turian Sepratists did. Rather than neutralize the ring, he fell back. He even gave up valuable fortifications, which the rebels took."

"Then, the rebels attacked the Salarians." Continued Garrus, his voice humming with excitement over a good war story. "When both groups had worn each other down, Victus moved back in. Didn't lose a man."

From where he worked over the console, the other Turian general seemed to disapprove. "Bold strategy…but wild behavior doesn't get you advanced up the meritocracy."

Returning his gaze to Shepard, Garrus nodded. "Primarch Victus. THAT should be something to see."

"You think he can get the job done?" Inquired Shepard, her ocean blue eyes bright in the dim lighting.

A sort of pride swelled in Garrus' chest. It was as though she had never left…she still trusted him to give her the straight answers on any topic. "We both know conventional strategy won't beat the Reapers. Right now he could be our best shot. And I trust him."

Shepard moved from foot to foot, not as though she were uneasy, but more ready to move. "Okay. Let's get him on the shuttle and get out of here."

"Commander! Shepard, come in." Joker's voice filtered through, panic clear in the pilot's voice.

Slightly exasperated, Shepard turned her back to Garrus and headed down towards the main thoroughfare. "Can this wait Joker, we're in the middle of a war zone."

Had she not been right, Garrus would have laughed. Trust Commander Shepard to treat a war zone like just another meeting that needed dealing with. Still, he followed her as though connected by a string, sniper rifle cradled in his arms.

"We've got a situation on the Normandy, Commander. It's like she's possessed…shutting down systems, powering up weapons…I can't find the source."

With a growl of frustration, Shepard turned to Liara. "I need the Normandy standing by, we may have to bug out."

Liara, closely tuned into the Commander's body language, nodded. "Should I go back and take a look?"

"Do it." Commanded Shepard before turning her gaze back to her bond brother. "Garrus, you said you were with Victus this morning?"

Curtly nodding, Garrus stepped closer. "Yeah, but we got separated. He went to bolster a flank that was breaking. Could be anywhere out there."

From behind them, the general spoke up. "We're trying to raise him, Commander."

"Incoming Harvester, headed for the air field!" Bellowed James as he tore his rifle from where it was magnetized to his back.

Overhead the great beast gave a metallic sort of roar, it's leathery, bat-like wings creating huge gusts of air. Turians around Shepard opened fire as the beast swooped low over the camps. Once it had retreated, Shepard straightened, motioning with her pistol. "General, tell Primarch Victus that we'll rondevous here. In the meantime…"

She turned, a smirk pulling the corners of her mouth. "Let's take care of whatever that thing dropped off. Coming Garrus?"

In reply, Garrus simply ejected his spent thermal clip. It didn't matter that they were in the middle of the galaxy's biggest war, Garrus was just thrilled to have his bond mate back. "Are you kidding, I'm right behind you!"

Side by side, Shepard and Garrus sprinted towards the field, knowing grins plastered on both parties' faces. Skidding into the fray, Shepard opened fire, her pistol cracking rounds out in harmony with Garrus' sniper rifle. Beside them, James took over a support role, as though he could sense the bond between the pair.

"Is it just me," He called after some time, his dark eyes meeting Shepard's, "Or do those Reapers look like Turians?"

It wasn't a thought that Shepard liked to entertain, but she had to admit, Vega was right. They looked eerily similar to Seren in his final moments. "You're right, they do."

When she could, Shepard snuck a peek over at Garrus. When he's first showed up, he was so formal with the other Turians…not the same Garrus she had known aboard the Normandy. Now he was relaxed, falling back into the pattern of friendly banter and shooting. The threesome bounced from the airfield to the main gate, where Shepard mounted the heavy cannon while James and Garrus took care of stragglers.

"Yeah! Like fish in a barrel!"

"WHAT?"

"Old human saying," Called James, "Like fish. In a barrel."

Oh, Shepard could tell these two would get along just fine. It was that thought that distracted Shepard enough for the Reaper's newest abomination to knock her clean off her perch. Above, she could hear Garrus make a strangled sort of noise as she rolled to safety.

James was slightly more articulate. "Holy hell! What is that thing?"

"Not. Friendly." Wheezed Shepard as she took a quick diving roll behind cover. By this time Garrus was already scaling the sheer rock walls to get down to her, his sniper rifle still putting rounds into what Shepard's heads up display was identifying only as a 'Brute.'

As Vega distracted it momentarily, Garrus sprinted over, his talon resting on Shepard's shoulder for only a moment.

_Are you okay?_

Shepard nodded, a brief smile flitting across her features.

_With you at my back? Always._

Once the Brute had fallen, Shepard heaved a sigh of relief, only to have it dashed when the general informed her that no, they couldn't get a stable communications link to Victus. She grimaced before turning to Garrus. "Garrus, take me to the last place you saw Victus."

In the lead, Garrus navigated the terrain as though it were second nature. It gave Shepard time to admire all the little things she had missed in their year apart. He was just as tall as she remembered, but more…confident. His scars were healing, which was fine, but in a way Shepard was glad he kept them. "How far?"

"Should be pretty quick." Remarked Garrus as they vaulted up a quick incline. "Unless we find trouble."

Shepard couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "And we always find trouble."

Garrus didn't respond, his eyes trained on his homeworld. "Dammit, look at Palaven… That blaze of orange – the big one – that's where I was born."

As the breath caught in Shepard's throat, Vega spoke. "That's rough. Still have family there?"

"My dad. A sister." Shepard didn't bother asking about his mother or the other sister that Garrus had. It wasn't for Vega to know.

Behind them, the dark haired man shook his head. "Damn. How bad is it?"

Chancing a glance at Shepard, Garrus sighed. "Three million lost the first day. Five the second."

"How's your military holding up?" Shepard felt the question leave her lips, but it was another question she knew the answer to.

With a bitter laugh, Garrus motioned with his hand. "Look around. That should give you some idea."

They moved father south until at last they came upon a small encampment that was already crawling with reaper forces and two more Brutes. At the end, Shepard was exhausted and the hair at the back of her neck was plastered there with sweat. Not great shape to approach the leader of her bond mate's people in, but it would have to do. Currently, he was saying farewell to his soldiers, having at last agreed to come to the summit.

Weariness slumped Shepard's shoulders as Garrus approached, his voice stern, but soft. "Without him down here, there's a good chance we lose this moon."

"Without him up there, there's a good chance we lose everything." Replied Shepard, her voice firm.

In the distance, a Reaper roamed the surface of the moon. Garrus shook his head, drawing closer to Shepard. "Look at that! And they want my opinion on how to stop it? Failed C-Sec officer, vigilante…and I'm their expert advisor?"

Garrus' tone was one of amusement, but more completely incredulous at the situation. He glanced sideways, his heart doing a quick stutter step. "Think you can win this thing Shepard?"

"Yeah." Even Shepard sounded a bit doubtful. "I don't know Garrus, but I'm sure as hell gonna give it my best shot."

The smile returned to Garrus' face as he finally met the human's gaze. "I'm damn sure nobody else can do it. For whatever it's worth…I'm with you."

She shook his hand, a grin trying to fight it's way out of the carefully constructed façade of commander. "Welcome aboard."

As they strode back with the new Primarch in tow, Garrus couldn't help but stare at Shepard's back. He hadn't noticed before, but she must have been spending time in the sun…her usually dark chocolate hair had streaks of copper in it now. So much had changed him…changed her…were they still the same? He couldn't see her dog tags…or if his little token still was on them. A strange uneasiness settled within the Turian. A year was a long time…what if things had changed? He glanced up at where Palaven burned. Who was he kidding…everything had already changed.


	58. Arms

Well, sorry about that. Consider the end of last chapter a sort of preview for this one. I wanted to give it all the love and attention it deserved, and that little snippet didn't do it for me. I'll have some more time to work on this for a bit because I finished my independent novel! It's already out with a few select beta readers/editors and hopefully I'll have it ready to read by the fall. I hope that if you like this story, ya'll will be interested in reading something else.

Inspired by Christina Perri's Arms

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_**Arms**_

"Garrus. Didn't waste any time getting to work I see."

Her voice drifted through the main battery and although it was welcome, it surprised Garrus. He straightened quickly, eyes wide and bright in the dim red lights. "After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation. Gives me something to focus on."

"We're going to need you for more than your aim." Quipped Shepard, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. Spirits, she still was the same. Garrus had to keep reminding himself that she was still here…it wasn't as bad as when she had died, but still…the distance between them was just begging to be closed. And Shepard's words were clearly implying something else.

Stepping away from the gun, Garrus smirked as best a Turian could. "Oh, I'm ready for it. But I'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns – and lots of them."

Brunette hair looking almost red in the light, Shepard laughed. "Can't argue with that!"

"Yeah…" His voice hummed in tune with the ship as he went on, throat suddenly very dry. "So is this the part where we…shake hands? Wasn't sure on the protocol for reunions, or if you even felt the same way about me."

Even as the words left his mouth, Garrus glanced down at the floor. It felt stupid…this was not just the great Commander Shepard he was talking about here, but they were in the middle of the biggest war in the galaxy. She didn't need any distractions from some second-rate Turian.

Still, he barreled on. "The scars are starting to fade…I remember they drove you wild."

Shepard laughed, the sound sending chills down Garrus' spine and to the ends of his fringe. Spirits, he loved her laugh. So light and such a rare sound from her. Encouraged, Garrus stepped closer. "…But I can go out and get all new ones, if it'd help."

The brunette spectre tilted her head, gazing up at Garrus from beneath her eyelashes. "I haven't forgotten our time together."

Garrus beamed, rocking back on his feet. "Well! I've been doing some more…research on human customs. I didn't want to…presume –"

Let it never be said that Commander Shepard couldn't surprise Garrus. She cut him off with a kiss, her lips grazing the rough, sensitive scar tissue on his cheek. Pulling away, she smiled a mischevious little expression. "That's the protocol on reuinions."

"The vids did say it might go something like that." Realizing how that sounded, Garrus tried to backpedal. "I had hoped it would. I mean, I didn't know…"

Not missing a beat, Shepard twined her fingers into Garrus', her voice low. "I can't promise how things will work out…not with this war. But I missed you Garrus. I thought about you a lot."

Abruptly fascinated at the way their hands fit together, Garrus ducked his head a bit. "Glad to know my romantic, uh…skills, made an impression."

Their eyes met, and Garrus felt his heart jump for a brief moment before he went on. "…Because it's going to take a lot more than Reapers to come between this cross-species liaison."

Shepard didn't have to say anything; her light little laugh said it all. No matter what happened, she was going to be there until the end. No matter what that end might be. Even so, she returned to business quickly. "Speaking of which, you said you're the 'expert advisor' on Reapers now?"

Reluctantly pulling away, Garrus nodded. "It's not as impressive as it sounds. I ruffled some feathers, so they gave me a token title along with a token task force so I'd shut up."

"How'd you manage that?" Shepard sounded mildly amused as Garrus set about checking a few more settings.

Ice blue eyes bright with mischief, Garrus glanced over his shoulder. "Just followed your example, Shepard. Yell loud enough and someone will eventually come over to see what all the fuss is about….Not that they'll actually do anything about it…"

Rolling her eyes, the brunette's mouth twitched into a grim little smile. "Until hell shows up at their door. Then they put you in charge."

At this, Garrus couldn't help but laugh. The pair moved towards the entrance of the Main Battery, side by side. "Not like the old days, is it? Rouge Spectre and C-Sec agents running and gunning outside the lines, making it up as we went along. We're actually respectable now!"

Perched against the main calibration station, Shepard sighed. "Yeah. I have a feeling that respect comes with a lot of sleepless nights. I can't even count how many lives are depending on us, Garrus."

Although it seemed small, the fact that Shepard was even admitting these worries was something that Garrus rarely saw from the commander. Shifting, he moved closer until her clean, crisp vanilla scent was almost overpowering. "Well, when things are looking grim – and I'm pretty sure they will – just remember…We're in this together. And if it ends with both of us dying in a giant explosion taking out a Reaper...remember I took the kill shot."

In an effort to distract himself from how bold that had been, Garrus moved towards his calibrations, but Shepard was still staring, her ocean blue eyes bright. "You mentioned you still had family on Palaven."

"My father is there." Admitted Garrus quietly. "Sister too."

If there was one person Garrus knew could appreciate the values of losing family, it would be Erin Shepard. Having lost her own before she was five gave the Spectre a unique position on family. "How long has it been since you've heard from them?"

"Long enough to be worried." He murmured. Of course, because Shepard knew what it was like to lose family, she also knew what it was like not to know their fate.

Still, that didn't prevent her from placing a hand on his shoulder and offering a meek little smile. "I'm sure they're okay."

Garrus clenched his mandibles tight to his face. "That's the thing about getting old, Shepard. The platitudes get just as old. Pretty soon blind hope will be all we'll have left…and I hate being blind."

"I know you don't have any illusions about what we're up against Garrus." Shepard glanced away for only an instant before taking a deep breath. "How do you rate our chances?"

It was a little odd, Garrus had to admit, that he felt so out of place being a trusted advisor to the Turian Hierarchy – his own people's government – and yet so comfortable giving Shepard his opinion. "I know it looks bad now, but I think we can win this Shepard. For the first time since we met, we're not alone in the fight. It's something I learned long ago in C-Sec: an imminent and painful death has a way of motivating people. Instead of questioning your every word, whole civilizations are going to be begging you to save them."

Shepard arched her eyebrows in that funny way that Garrus had come to realize meant she was a bit surprised. "After all that's happened to Palaven, you still believe that?"

"I didn't say there wouldn't be casualties." Admitted Garrus, his tone a little grimmer now. "It's something Turians are taught from birth; if just one survivor is left standing at the end of a war, then the fight was worth it, but humans want to save everyone. In this war, that's not going to happen."

Thankfully, Shepard switched the topic, her voice brimming with curiosity. "So what's this Reaper task force you've been running?"

Now a bit bashful, Garrus shifted uncomfortably. "After what happened to you out there in Batarian space, I knew time was running out…for all of us. The Citadel Council was a dead end, so I did something I never thought I'd do. I went to my father."

"He used to work for C-Sec, didn't he?" Shepard's memory was as good as ever as she went on. "I seem to remember that the two of you didn't see eye to eye."

Barely suppressing a bitter laugh, Garrus shook his head. "To put it mildly. But he still had heavy pull in the Turian government. The primarch – well, the old one – was a friend of his. So I went to my father and laid out everything we knew about the Reapers from Saren all the way to the Collector base."

Eyes crinkling into a smile, Shepard shook her head slowly. "I'm not sure even I'd believe it."

"I had to admit that parts of it sounded crazy. Meeting Vigil? Talking to Sovereign on Virmire?" The tan-gray Turian crossed his arms over his chest. "But my father just listened. It's what he did in his days at C-Sec, putting together all the pieces. If the connections were there, he wouldn't' deny them. And he saw what we always knew…the Reapers were coming."

With a nod, Shepard seemed…pleased in a way. "I'm glad someone finally agreed!"

Voice dropping into a lower, almost seductive hum, Garrus took a step closer. "He did more than agree. He took it to the primarch."

"I like his style." Murmured Shepard, and Garrus couldn't help but agree. In some ways, his father and Shepard were very much alike…but not too much.

He shook his head. "Except the primarch wasn't as convinced. My father kept pushing and they finally got him to commit some token resources. And if you call them a 'task force' it sounds like you did something about it."

Ever curious, Shepard pushed on. "What'd you do with it?"

"As much as I could get away with…and a little more. We hardened our lines of communications, expanded emergency stockpiles across the colonies, improved our early warning detection protocols." Even admitting it, Garrus had to say that it didn't seem like as much as he was hoping.

Still, Shepard looked hopeful. "You think it helped?"

He sighed wistfully. "I'd like to think it bought our fleet some extra time. We'll know when this war is over."

Shepard nodded her approval, pride seeming to radiate from her, although she'd never say it. "So you can vouch for this new primarch?"

Ah, the issue of primarch Victus. Garrus had known this would come up, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought he and Shepard made a good team. "Well, even if I couldn't, you go to war with the army you have."

"Will he live up to his word?" There it was again, the smallest note of desperation in Sheaprd's voice that almost made Garrus' heart break.

"I've never known Victus to lie." Turning away, Garrus nodded slowly. "Play fast and loose with strategy, maybe. But betray and ally? Not his style. And if he did try…well, we'll just find another primarch."

A mischievous gleam crept into Shepard's eyes. "I noticed generals saluting you, Garrus. How far down the line of succession are you these days?"

Immediately averting his gaze, Garrus felt his stomach turn. Ever since Omega, command and responsibility had been the last thing he wanted. Not after that. "Let's not go there."

"Why not?" Shepard was honestly curious now, her faith so genuine. "I've seen you in action. Think about it… 'Primarch Vakarian, honored war hero.' Somebody's going to have to rebuild Palaven when this is over."

At this, Garrus had to laugh a little. "Your confidence is…inspiring. But it'll have to be someone who knows how to hold a hammer."

With a final shrug, Shepard seemed to put the conversation away for the time being. "I guess that's all for now Garrus. But stay close…you and I have some catching up to do."

Spirits, when she used that voice…Garrus could feel a surge of cold race all the way up to his fringe. "You know where to find me. And this time…I can afford the good stuff."

From beneath the console, the sniper produced a bottle of wine. Shepard couldn't fully tell if it was for him or her, but judging by the label, it wasn't cheap. She raised an eyebrow at him as he went on. "There are a few perks to being an expert Reaper advisor."

"Deal!" She exclaimed, eyes bright. It was as though a year had never passed, and yet the new copper streaks in Shepard's chocolate brown hair were a constant reminder that indeed, time had passed.

Unwilling to part with Shepard's company, Garrus turned towards the gun. "Now I'm sure somebody screwed up something down here. I want to get the old girl back in fighting shape."

Just as he turned his back towards Shepard, she laid a hand on his arm, halting the movement. Confused, he met her gaze for a moment, his mandibles clenched tight in confusion. Wordlessly, Shepard drew close, snaking her slender arms around his waist with the smallest of contented sighs. As quickly as the embrace began, Shepard was pulling away, a smile flickering across her face.

"Welcome home Garrus."


	59. Soldier

Well. Yeah. Been a while. I know, I know, I've said it before, I've been busy. Summer has not been as relaxing. But right now I'm downloading the Extended Cut DLC (70% and counting) so we'll see how this goes! I know this scene isn't purely accurate, but I wanted to reflect Thane's unrequited feelings. Yeah. Enjoy.

Chapter inspired by Ingrid Michaelson's Soldier.

* * *

_**Soldier**_

He had made peace. It was something that he had known would come for a long time, and yet it always seemed to marvel Thane Krios that he couldn't resist sending out that one last communication in hopes that she would get it.

Of course, he knew that she wouldn't. She was incarcerated. She would be on Earth anyway, if what he was hearing about the Reapers was true.

Still, Thane paused, staring out over the Citadel's pristine facades when he felt a presence behind him. It had to be her, and yet he threw a few more punches before turning, his deep eyes taking in every inch of the human woman who stood before him, looking slightly stunned.

"Siha…" His voice still hummed as he approached. "When I heard Earth was under attack, I tried to call. I never got through."

The surprise and joy in the brunette's voice didn't escape the Drell, but he was too enthralled by her smile. "Thane! Good to see you staying in shape."

A grim smile twitched the assassin's mouth. "My disease kills slowly. With enough care and a healthy lifestyle, it can be delayed for a few years. Of course, my allotted time has come and gone. Now I exercise because it pleases me. What are you doing here?"

Thane would be lying to himself if the sight of Shepard didn't make him think that she was here to see him, old emotions rising to the surface. Ones that he knew would not be returned, but he still had his hopes. Shepard was his one light in a life otherwise stained with darkness and cruelty.

"Visiting a friend." Shepard's voice was low as she looked to her feet. "Kaidan. He got hurt protecting me."

Of course, Thane didn't need to hear the wavering note of guilt to know that Shepard blamed herself for his injuries. Instead, he thoughtfully nodded. "The human biotic in intensive care…I saw the marks of an implant."

A small cough interrupted as Shepard nodded in confirmation. Thane went on. "We have spoken. He seems an honorable sort. Your enemies may try to finish him off here. I will look out for him."

Drawing close, the look of gratitude and relief reflected in Shepard's eyes as she patted her old squad mate's shoulder. "I appreciate that Thane."

"I am near the end of my life." Admitted Thane, already trying to preserve the brief touch to his memory. "It is a good time to be generous."

At this, Thane couldn't help but notice the slight wince that Shepard made, almost as if she were being the one wounded. Still, he went on. His Siha was strong enough to bear this…and she needed to know. "Kepral's Syndrome has put most of my other plans on hold."

Without another word, the pair crossed to a set of vacant chairs, still quiet and secluded enough to have a conversation without fear of being overheard. As they settled in, Shepard leaned forward, her ocean blue eyes bright with anticipation. "I'm back on the Normandy on an important mission. Sure could use you."

The thought tempted Thane for only a heartbeat. Still, he sighed lightly. "I would not be as I was before. I need daily medical attention. And if I know you, you will want to fight the Reapers somehow. You need the best at your side, and I am not at mine."

"You don't have to wrestle down Krogan and break their necks." Replied Shepard, laughter lightening her tone. "I'm sure we could find you lighter work."

Shepard had not changed a bit in her time away, which pleased the Drell greatly. Still, he shook his head. "I am at peace with what I've done in my life, Shepard. There comes a time when one must rest from war and conflict. It is not your time, but it is mine."

The statement seemed to impact the brunette, and she leaned forward, brows knitted together. Thane could see the new streaks of copper and gold in her rich, chocolate brown hair. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"At times." It was as though the admission lifted a slight weight from his chest, so Thane continued on. "The oxygen transfer protiens don't' form correctly. Your human equivalent would be hemoglobin. As a result, my blood is low in oxygen. No matter how much I breathe in, I get tingling, numbness…and that is the best of it. As for my brain, I cannot track the damage. I just experience dizziness from time to time."

A look of worry, horror, and sorrow flashed across Shepard's face and it was only the memory of Garrus that prevented Thane from closing the distance between the pair to comfort her, assure his Siha that he would be all right.

Shepard pushed through her obvious discomfort about the subject. "Do you know how much time you have left?"

The question momentarily started Thane. In his time aboard the Normandy, Shepard would have avoided this question or pursuing the subject further, but perhaps that was because of her own unwillingness to discuss her death. Still, she stared at him, a spark of curiosity flickering behind her eyes.

Leaning forward and lacing his fingers together, Thane smiled serenely. "I've been to several doctors. My favorite gave me three months to live…nine months ago."

This comment at last got a bright, spontaneous laugh to fly from Shepard's lips. Thane made sure to seal that memory in his mind as well. It was a rare occasion for him to hear the sound, and if he was on borrowed time, he wanted to make sure he had that saved for the few moments he had left. "It's freeing to find no requirements placed on me. No responsibilities, no fears. It is a good end to a life."

Silence fell between the pair before he glanced over at Shepard. "And you, Siha? What of your life?"

She smiled, the act itself softening her features. "Well, aside from being in jail, just focusing on the Reapers. Garrus is back with us, same with Joker and EDI."

To hear her mention the Turian with such fondness, and yet a strange distance caused Thane to raise an eyebrow. "All is still well between you, I presume?"

At this, Shepard sighed. "A year is a long time with no contact. I just don't know if…if things are the same. I mean, we both SAY they are, but with the war…I mean, he's down in the docking bay helping refugees from Palaven now, but I just wonder if anyone will make it through this war."

Before he could stop himself, Thane closed the distance, placing a hand gently on Shepard's knee. "The battle with the heart is not one that is easily won, Siha."

"Thank you." Shepard cast her eyes down momentarily before nodding. "I wish the best for you, Thane."

Withdrawing his hand, Thane nodded, his heart aching for reasons that had nothing to do with Kepral's Syndrome. "And I for you, Siha. Do not grieve for me. I have good doctors. My son visits regularly. Perhaps we will keep up via the extranet now that you are free. Until we meet again, Siha."

The brunette bowed her head quickly before leaving Thane sitting at the window. He watched her disappear towards the intensive care unit, knowing that his heard would always follow that particular woman…his Siha.


	60. Raise Your Glass

Thanks for all the love and reviews. I'm taking the time to read through and get back to them all as soon as I can. Also, I'm totally in love with the extended cut DLC and the badass that is the Female Krogan.

Chapter inspired by Pink's Raise Your Glass.

* * *

_**Raise Your Glass**_

"Shepard, you might just be crazy."

Erin Shepard glanced at where Garrus was watching her by the door to her quarters, ice blue eyes sparkling in the dim lights. He seemed content to take in the image of his bond mate in her Alliance dress blues, which was a fairly rare sight.

With a little shrug, Shepard had removed her jacket and unceremoniously tossed it onto the bed. "I'm sorry if my opinion upset the Salarians, but it's past time for the Krogans to be free of the genophage. And your Primarch agrees, which was a pleasant surprise."

Descending, Garrus chuckled. "I suppose, but are you so sure about this? I mean, what if Wrex's informant is wrong and there aren't any fertile females there?"

"I trust him." Assured Shepard, now slipping into the clothes she wore beneath her N7 armor. "Besides, this is Wrex we're talking about. Our friend. If we didn't even look into this, he'd kill us."

A smile flitted across Shepard's features. "At any rate, I've always wanted to see Sur'Kesh."

One quick jump and a shuttle ride later found Shepard standing beside her old squad mate and current clan leader, Urdnot Wrex. He gave her a wide, distinctly Krogan grin as they began their descent to the Salarian home world. After a brief moment, Wrex pulled the smaller human close in a brief hug. "Shepard. It's good to see you."

"And you too Wrex." Murmured the brunette, relief in her voice as she pulled back. "But we have to remember, this is a business mission."

Deep voice reverberating in the small confines, Wrex began to play with his favorite shotgun. "Huh. How could I forget?"

She sighed heavily. "This is the Salarian home world we're headed to. They aren't used to seeing Krogan here, so let's keep it simple, okay? We land, get the females, and leave before anyone changes their mind."

"I still don't trust a word they say." Bristled Wrex, his crimson eyes bright.

A smile sparkled in Shepard's deep blue eyes. Still the same Krogan she'd always known…she could only hope that he wasn't rubbing off on Grunt too much. "Let diplomacy play out Wrex. You'll get what you want."

The concern in Wrex's voice was unmistakable as he went on, shaking his scarred head. "These females are the best, and probably last hope for my people!"

"We'll bring them back Wrex. Don't worry." Liara's tone was soothing as she entered from the cockpit.

Respectfully, Wrex nodded at the Asari. "I appreciate that Liara. I wouldn't want anyone else along for the ride."

A stage cough from behind Wrex caught everyone's attention as Garrus rose, a mischievous smile causing his mandibles to pull tight to his cheeks. Wrex barely hid his smile as he nodded at the younger Turian. "I suppose I can make room for you too Garrus."

"Figured you'd gone soft sitting on your throne!" The Turian fired back, easily falling back into the old friendship. "Forgot how to hold a gun?"

As Wrex roared with laughter the pilot, a man by the name of Steve Cortez, leaned back. "Commander, I have the Salarian base on sensors."

A surge of apprehension seemed to tighten around Shepard's stomach before she nodded. "Set her down."

Below the lush jungles of the Salarian home world seemed to glimmer with golden light, and the base rose from the greenery like the stone ruins of the human Aztecs. Shepard strode into the cockpit as Cortez shook his head. "Commander, Salarian ground control says we don't have clearance to land."

Furrowing her brow, Shepard crossed her arms. "Tell them the Dalatrass authorized this herself."

"I knew they'd never keep their word!" Wrex's outcry should have been all the warning Shepard needed, but she turned just in time to see Wrex approach the door. "Let's see them try to stop a Krogan airdrop."

Barely a foot into the other room, Shepard's eyes were wide. "WREX!"

Too late; he had already dropped, shotgun in hand. From where she stood with Garrus at the door, Shepard could see Salarians rushing to control the situation. Wrex slammed two poor soldiers back with his biotics before three sniper dots were trained on him.

Garrus glanced at the human by his side, an amused look on his face. "Don't deny it Shep, you actually kind of missed him."

"I missed him BEFORE he jumped out of the shuttle." Growled Shepard, but the amusement was poorly concealed in her voice.

With Liara close behind, Shepard dropped and moved to calm the situation but was interrupted by another Salarian that rushed up. He shook his head as he approached. "Stand down! Hold your fire! Commander Shepard, restrain your colleague! We only found out about this transfer a few moments ago."

Coolly stepping forward, Shepard nodded. "I'd like to avoid a diplomatic incident."

The Turian sniper couldn't help but note that Shepard had placed herself between Wrex's shotgun, the Salarians who would be on the receiving end of that shotgun, and the snipers who might try to take out Wrex. It was another reminder of exactly how good she was at her job, and it made Garrus swell with pride that she was his mate.

"As would we." The Salarian replied, sounding a little more than tense.

Raising an eyebrow, Shepard continued. "But you have something valuable to Wrex."

Behind her, Wrex nodded enthusiastically. "Something worth dying for!"

Now clearly agitated, the Samarian glanced at the soldiers behind him. "This matter can be resolved, but I must insist he remain under guard."

As Wrex grumbled, Shepard turned to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I can handle this Wrex."

A tense moment passed before Wrex stored his shotgun at the small of his back, jerking his chin towards Shepard in a sort of agreement. "Anything goes wrong and all bets are off."

While Wrex was escorted to a holding area, the diplomatic Salarian led Shepard off to the side. "I'm Pardok Wiks, and I appreciate your understanding Commander. With war on everyone's minds, our people are on edge."

As they moved, a crate overhead caused a small scramble, and it wasn't until Shepard saw that it contained a Yahg. Shaking off memories from when they had taken control of the Shadow Broker's operations, Shepard sighed. Pardok Wiks headed off to get their clearance, and she hurried over to where Wrex was watched by two Salarian guards.

"Shepard, I don't like this." Wrex grumbled as she approached. "I should be the one going in."

Although it was easy to understand Wrex's concerns, Shepard shook her head. "How about you stay here and we only fight one war at a time?"

The crimson Krogan waved this off. "That was just good old fashioned Krogan hot air. If it'd been real, they'd be dead."

"So, who tipped you off about the females here?" Shepard lowered her voice to a more conspiratory tone, even going so far as to glance around to make sure that they were safe.

Still, Wrex shook his head. "Sorry Shepard, but they're listening to every word we say. I prefer my Salarian liver served raw!"

At this, Shepard had to laugh along with Wrex. Leave the fine art of intimidation to the nine foot tall, battle-scarred alien. Still, there had been something he said that bothered Shepard. "Back on the Normandy you said Reapers were sighted on Tuchanka?"

"Clans Jorgal and Ravanor sighted a few landing parties." Confirmed Wrex, his voice grim. "The Reapers are up to something. Tuchanka may be a pile of radioactive rubble, but it's our pile and we'll fight to the last Krogan to keep it that way."

Before heading below Shepard had a quick reunion with Captain – now Major – Kirrahe, whom she hadn't seen since Virmire almost three years prior. Alarms had begun to blare as the trio entered the elevator, and that feeling of dread hadn't left Shepard. Salarian voices in the lower labs were raised to a fever pitch, trying to back up data and save samples. It wasn't until a familiar voice rose above the din that Shepard felt a jolt of security.

"Shepard! Excellent timing. Good to have you here."

"Mordin!" Exclaimed Shepard, her excitement and surprise obvious.

Shaking her hand, the Salarian gave a thin smile. "Eyesight still sharp. Surprise understandable. Hadn't expected to return to work."

Even Garrus seemed shocked. "You're back with STG?"

Still, Mordin didn't seem fazed. "Special consultant. Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong." He leaned in, his voice low and excited. "Helped female Krogan. Fed information to clan Urdnot. Encouraged political pressure to free females."

"You must be Wrex's inside source." Muttered Shepard, her voice brimming with pride.

The scientist gave a short nod before glancing around, his voice still low. "Yes. Can explain later. Security warnings not normal. Need to get off world for sake of Krogan."

Together they moved further into the labs, Garrus sticking close to Shepard as Salarians hurried to save research as alarms blared. Mordin's distinctive voice was easily heard above the din. "Females had weakened immune systems. Side effect of Maelon's cure. These….didn't survive."

Although Shepard was a soldier through and through, the sight of the bodies caused her to stiffen, her blue eyes narrowing sharply. Garrus placed a hand on her shoulder for only a moment before the Spectre went on. "But what about Maelon's research? I thought we saved it."

"Indeed." Confirmed Mordin, his wide dark eyes blinking rapidly. "Data saved, but not complete. Lacks crucial details to reconstruct cure, but still useful for synthesizing from living tissue. Couldn't save them."

It was impossible to miss the deep note of regret in Mordin's voice when he turned his gaze back to the bodies of the Krogan. Garrus recalled that Mordin had worked on the genophage and had even opposed a cure being formulated on Tuchanka by his old student. That was the data that they had saved, which had taken quite some coaxing on the Commander's part. To hear Mordin now sounding regretful…it was a humbling moment.

Shepard sighed. "I'm sure you did everything you could Mordin."

"Arrived too late. Cannot delay now." Bitterness caused Mordin's short sentences to pack even more bite. "One survivor. Immune to genophage. Can synthesize cure from her tissue."

Exchanging an excited glance with Garrus, Shepard half jogged after Mordin, pushing a strand of hair from her face. "She's still here?"

Mordin, however, didn't seem as excited as his human companion. "Yes. Last hope for Krogan. If she dies, genophage cure…problematic."

The implications of that simple little sentence were not lost on Shepard as they paused before a holding room. Heart thundering, Shepard stared at the first female Krogan she had ever seen. She stood in a tank of sorts, with the majority of her face hidden by a viel of some sort. Only her intense Krogan eyes were seen glaring out at her audience.

As Shepard approached slowly, Mordin waved a hand in caution. "Please be careful. Krogan slow to trust."

That was a surprise to Shepard, considering how fast she had won Wrex's trust, but she kept it in mind as she spoke. "I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy."

"Are you here to kill me?" The female's voice was slow, low and measured, with a very heavy tone of distrust. From behind the containment field, Shepard could see that she was immobilized by some sort of containment apparatus.

She shook her head, heart aching at the sight. From behind, Liara's breathy voice was barely heard. "Goddess…what she's been through…"

Taking a long moment to gather herself, Shepard felt her heart rising into her throat. "Urdnot Wrex and I are here to take you home."

Distrust practically slapped the small crew when the female spoke. "Why? What am I to you?"

"Have the Salarians been mistreating you?" Erin's bright blue eyes narrowed and a harsh bite entered her voice. Not directed at Mordin, but at the general idea of having creatures confined in such a way.

Deep sadness and bitterness seemed to resonate in the female's voice, mimicking part of Shepard's tone. "Those were my sisters you saw back there. They died in a lot of pain."

Mordin glanced down, shaking his head mournfully. "Did the best we could."

"And now I know I'm the only one left. That makes me dangerous to a lot of people." Shepard was surprised. She was so used to seeing Krogan males, who were always righting and literally butting heads. "What about you, Commander Shepard? Why are you here?"

To gain the female's trust, Shepard knew that she would have to be completely honest, just as she would be with any other Krogan. "You're the future of the Krogan race. I'm fighting for that."

Above the sirens began to wail again and even more tremors rocked the facility. Garrus spun, bringing his rifle to bear as though something was actually in the facility.

"Then I hope you brought an army." The female Krogan calmly retorted from where she stood in the containment area.

After ensuring that the female would be moved off world, Wrex had called with the report that Cerberus was attacking. Garrus at her side, Shepard moved to the elevator. "Are you sure about this Shepard?"

With a decisive nod, Shepard pulled her heavy pistol. "We have to get her out. She doesn't deserve this. She needs freedom. I don't know…I guess she wasn't what I expected."

In spite of himself, Garrus chuckled. "Now you know how I felt when I met you."

Shepard glanced back, one eyebrow raised incredulously. Liara smiled and shrugged. "The female does share some qualities with you, Commander."

Grumbling something about an elevator, Shepard led the way to the door, taking a moment to allow technicians to get the doors open. The door slid open and Shepard froze, her eyes going wide at the small cylinder.

At her shoulder, Garrus echoed the sentiments that were on everyone's mind. "Oh crap…"

"Get back!" Roared Shepard, turning as the cylinder began to beep shrilly. She got a few steps when an arm snaked its way around her waist, and the explosion threw her to the floor. Shakily, Shepard propped herself up, but found she was partially covered by Garrus, who was stirring slowly.

Ice blue eyes met ocean blue, and Garrus shook his head. "I'm not losing you again."

The pair was still for another moment before Shepard rose to her feet. A scientist raced up, eyes wide. "Commander Shepard, are you all right?"

She nodded, doing a quick once over. "Is there another way out of here?"

"Other side of the lab, an emergency exit! I can open it from here."

The trio raced up the stairs, Mordin's voice giving constant updates through the communication system. Cerberus agents swarmed over the exposed stone terraces, but Shepard raced through, pistol firing as fast as she could pull the trigger. A few times, some of the creatures that were being held there escaped and aided their cause.

Practically clotheslining Garrus, Shepard held out an arm. A wall exploded as a wild yahg broke free and pursued several unfortunate agents. Glancing up at her bond mate, Shepard smirked. "Careful. There goes the next Shadow Broker."

A smile flitted across Garrus' face. "Could've sworn he was muttering "T'Soni" the whole time…"

"Not funny!" Exclaimed Liara.

Between the three, Cerberus agents fell before the onslaught of bullets and biotic power. Garrus couldn't help but admire how Shepard had changed and developed her biotics in their time apart. She still retained her favorite abilities, such as the terrifying biotic charge and the shockwave, but at one point, a small group of Cerberus agents rounded the corner. Before Garrus or Liara could react, Shepard was sprinted over, leapt off a small crate and slammed into the ground, throwing bodies left and right. A few survived the initial blast, but were put down as Garrus slid over, his eyes wide as Shepard slumped behind a low wall.

She grinned up at him, already applying medi-gel to a wound. Shaking his head, Garrus took over the application. "And you always called me reckless…"

"Sorry. I always forget that move takes out my shields." She rose and nodded towards the landing pad where Wrex was descending with the shuttle.

This time, Wrex made the drop from only a few feet instead of a few meters, and grinned at Shepard. "You had me worried there for a minute."

The brunette grimaced and moved towards the container where the female had made it up in one piece. "Let's make this quick."

Mordin stepped towards the female and extended a hand, a thin, inviting smile spreading across his features. However, Wrex had a different idea, elbowing the smaller alien out of the way before reaching out to the female. "Let's get you out of there."

Of course, the female had her own ideas. She moved fluidly down towards the main floor, her gaze intense. Garrus and Shepard exchanged glances, and the human had to glance away to hide her budding smile.

"There they are! That's them, move!" Cerberus agents dropped from the sky, guns at the ready.

Before anyone could move, the female plucked the shotgun from Wrex's hands and blasted the agents clean off the balcony. She roughly shoved the gun into Wrex's chest before heading to the shuttle. "I can handle myself, Wrex."

Wrex shook his head and followed her. "Women."

From across the patio, one of the Cerberus agents gurgled. Shepard crossed the distance, dropping to one knee when she was at his side. "Why is Cerberus here? What do you want?"

No answer was ever given, since the agent gurgled and expired. Rising, Shepard shook her head as Garrus moved to her side. The Turian sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Can't win them all Shep."

A determined, fierce little smile flashed across Shepard's features. "No, but I can win some. We've got the female, and with her, a possible cure for the genophage."

With a last glance at the two bodies, the grin widened. "I'll tell you one thing though. I think I'm going to like this girl."


	61. Toes

Sorry if I'm not including all accurate dialogue, but I'm trying to branch out and do some character development. Give your usually familiar friends a little more depth.

Chapter inspired by Norah Jones' Toes

* * *

_**Toes**_

The consistent hum of the Normandy's mass effect drive was a soothing sound as Shepard wandered through the crew deck. She had already done some catching up with Wrex, but she wanted to go speak with Garrus before meeting with the female Krogan for the first time outside a cell.

Well, wanted wasn't quite strong enough of a word. Needed would be more accurate. Shepard had to admit that since returning to active duty and bringing Garrus aboard, they had been…distant with each other. Of course the pair had fallen back into their familiar, friendly banter and support, but that wasn't it. He was her bond mate, the one that she was trusting to stay with her not just as a friend, but as a lover.

Slipping into the main battery, Shepard smiled at Garrus, who returned the expression quickly. "Shepard. They're saying that female Krogan have a thing for guys with scars."

Heart lurching, Shepard nodded, her poker face on. "So I've heard."

"I've got a few myself…" he murmured. "Here's hoping nobody's planning an arranged marriage to cement this deal. Though I have to say, I admire her. The things she must have endured, living with the genophage. And now, to top it all off, she's her people's last hope? Imagine the pressure."

Barely glancing up from his calculations, Garrus shook his head. "Takes real courage to face that. I hope we can measure up."

Something about Garrus' praise of the female had Shepard mutely nodding and mumbling some excuse about visiting her. As she strode out, Shepard couldn't help but feel a bit miffed. Certainly she wouldn't diminish the importance and the pressure that the female was under, but wasn't she under the same sort of scrutiny?

Entering the med bay, Shepard was doing her best to forget Garrus' remarks when Mordin's voice reached her ears.

"Aware Krogan females find scars attractive. Garrus loyal, reasonably intelligent. Bit aggressive. Almost like Krogan."

Once more, Shepard felt a blind sort of fury rise to just below the surface, but the female was quick with her objections from where she sat on one of the beds. "For the third time doctor, I'm not interested."

The irritation in her voice almost made Shepard laugh, had the idea of losing Garrus not been so prominent in the human's mind. Still, she had to smile when Mordin turned to her, dark eyes bright with energy. "Ah, Shepard. We were just –"

"Are you okay?" Wrex had burst into the med bay, effectively silencing anyone else.

With what looked like a roll of her eyes, the female turned to look at the approaching Krogan. "I'm fine Wrex. You can relax."

Puffing himself up, Wrex set his lower jaw in a determined grimace. "You can't be too careful…or put any faith in Salarian doctors."

Shepard had half a mind to tell him that this was still her ship, and as such Wrex was not to insult or start anything with her crew, but then she paused. Wrex barely took his eyes from the female, his whole posture not one of an attacker, but a defender. He wasn't doing this to start something with Mordin, but he was genuinely concerned for the well-being of this female.

From where she sat, the female shook her head, the delicate chains on her clothes jingling lightly. "This one is different."

Still reluctant, Wrex narrowed his eyes as Mordin stepped forward for a vial of blood. "Is he? What's that?"

"Simple blood test." Quipped Mordin, his tone shorter than usual.

"What kind?"

The Salarian shot Wrex a withering glare. "Kind that ends the genophage. Shepard, please. Distractions counterproductive. Also affecting comfort of patient."

Shepard moved closer to her old comrade. "He was your inside source Wrex. You can trust him."

"Salarians have minds like a maze." Grumbled Wrex, his eyes ruby red in the med bay lights. "You never know when they're leading you into a trap!"

Finally Mordin seemed to lose his patience, turning from his work to face Wrex. "Trap? Eve's release y doing. Would never have known about her, if not for me."

"That was then, but she's out now. And if she gets hurt, I'll feel it." There was more than a little protective edge to Wrex's voice, which made Shepard step between the two. If Wrex charged, she wasn't sure she could stop him, but she'd at least give Mordin time to move.

However, Mordin was already soothing the situation. "Understand. But my patient. My responsibility. Her welfare a priority. Will not allow her to be compromised by anything."

A tense moment passed before Wrex laughed and Shepard relaxed. The rust red Krogan nodded approvingly. "Heh. You've got a quad, doctor. Keep her safe. Our females have endured enough."

Deciding that it might be best to give the female a moment to rest, Shepard approached where Mordin was working. The sight brought up memories of watching him work on the counter-measure for the Collector swarms.

Mordin turned quickly, startling the human momentarily. "Shepard. Blood work complete. Indicates significant stress on Eve's system. Maelon's data thorough. Fortunately detailed as well. Have used notes to improve her condition."

"Have you figured out why she's immune?" This had been a nagging thought since Shepard had been told there were females who were immune. It wasn't supposed to be possible.

Voice quick, Mordin launched straight in. Thankfully, her experience from last time allowed Shepard to keep up with his medical speak. "Genophage targeted hormone production during pregnancy. Modification project used same modality. Her 'immunity' totally different. Targeted glands now obsolete, like human appendix. Other glands mutated to produce proper hormones, enable viable birth. Also explains her weakness. Gland substitution imperfect. Health trouble."

Eyes wide, Shepard arched an eyebrow. "You think you can make this work for all Krogan?"

"Yes!" Mordin now seemed exceptionally pleased with himself. "Will use Eve's tissue to produce mutagen, alter gland function across entire species. Must improve mutagen as well. Tune hormone production. Long term illness for all Krogan otherwise."

With that settled, Shepard glanced over at where the female was watching them with an intense gaze. She brushed her brunette locks out of her face. "How's she doing?"

Concern laced through Mordin's voice as he spoke. "No fever currently. Heart rate elevated, likely stress. Eating appropriately. Could use another blanket. Something soft. Prefer to let her recover fully before synthesizing cure. My medical recommendation."

"My people don't have time for that!" Exclaimed the female from across the room.

Shepard had to keep from laughing as Mordin nodded in the krogan's direction. "Her opinion…somewhat different."

Making a mental note, Shepard called to mind a soft blanket from her own quarters that the female could use. A smile bubbled to Shepard's lips at the sight of Mordin and the female interacting. "You care about her."

However, Mordin now stepped back into his role as a doctor. "My patient. My responsibility. Found her at STG base. Three doctors injured trying to restrain her. Undid arm restraints. Didn't resist when she grabbed me. Promised to help her. She said 'please'."

"Okay, this was bugging me." Shepard's blue eyes were dark with confusion and curiosity. "That name…Eve?"

Mordin's thin smile split his face. "Female's real name unknown. Normandy a human vessel. Human mythology seemed appropriate under circumstances. Suggest speaking with her. New perspective. Surprising in Krogan."

Glancing between the Salarian and Krogan, Shepard nodded. "Maybe I will. Nice talking with you Mordin."

Still smiling, Mordin nodded. "Thank you, Shepard. Glad to be back."

"You planning to stick around when this is over?" Inquired Shepard, honestly curious. She knew that Mordin was old for a Salarian, but even so, she wanted her friends around for as long as they would stay.

Thoughtful, Mordin nodded slowly. "Until Reapers dealt with, at least. Then…not sure. Have made impact on galaxy. Genophage modification, genophage cure, work against Collectors…Decisions, mistakes…Might go somewhere sunny. Sit on beach, look at ocean, collect seashells."

Skeptical, Shepard could barely keep a smile off her face. "You'd go crazy inside an hour!"

"…Might run tests on the seashells!" Exclaimed Mordin after a brief pause.

With the Salarian fully engrossed in his work, Shepard smiled serenely at his determination. Although it had been with some reservations that she had accepted his dossier from the Illusive Man, he had been one of the best additions. Shepard had missed him in the year she had been out of touch. However, there was no time to really sit and reminisce too much.

Slowly, with some trepidation, Shepard approached the female Krogan. Eve, she had to remind herself. Or at least, they were calling her Eve for now. The Krogan swung her legs off the bed and stood, her eyes a bright, burnished gold. "Thank you for saving my life, Commander. I didn't thinkt he Krogan had any allies left in the galaxy."

Holding up a hand, Shepard smiled. "We owe a lot to you, even if most people have forgotten that."

"They can be forgiven." Murmured Eve, crimson skin around her eyes appearing darker than they actually were. "Our actions have hardly inspired friendship."

Shepard could feel a warmth spreading in her chest at Eve's opinions. Her first impression that she would like this female. "Part of being friends is knowing each other's name. I feel bad that I don't know yours."

Eve shrugged slowly. "I surrendered it the day I became a shaman of the female clan. I belong to my sisters now. But perhaps one day, when this is over, you can know it."

Surprised, Shepard moved on to hide her disappointment at not being able to properly address her new friend. "I didn't realize the Krogan had female shamans."

"Wisdom comes from pain…And the genophage has made us very wise." Bitterness crept into Eve's tone as she stared at Erin, her burnished gold eyes unwavering. "Rather than surrender to despair, a few of us chose to preserve the ancient ways. We safeguard our culture, our knowledge, our secrets…so when our children live again, the Krogan will flourish."

Curiosity rising, Shepard motioned towards the bed, sitting on the edge as Eve sat beside her. "How were you initated?"

Eve leaned close, her voice strong, reflecting the same determination that Shepard had heard so often in Wrex's voice. "You're locked in a cave for seven days with just enough food to last. On the eight, you'll starve."

Taken aback, Shepard raised an eyebrow. "What does that prove?"

"Your resolve." Pride radiated in Eve's voice. "Every acolyte is given a chance: you either claw your way out through the rock with your bare hands, or you die."

Flashbacks of her own trials on the streets and on Akuze had Shepard shaking her head. "That's still a brutal initiation."

Although her mouth was covered, Shepard could tell that Eve was smiling. "But an illuminating one. You learn to appreciate the light by living in the dark.

The brunette nodded, blue eyes bright. If there was one thing Commander Shepard could appreciate, it was a good story. "So how'd you make it out alive?"

Eve pulled her knees to her chest, like she had been sitting before. "I started digging the wrong way. I was in complete darkness. Nothing other than my own heartbeat to sustain me."

For a moment, Shepard had to resist the urge to laugh. "What happened?"

"I found this." Eve's hand darted within the midnight blue robes she wore only to produce a crystal. It was long, pointed at both ends, but a dusty purple color throughout. It seemed so strange to imagine something so delicate could be found on Tuchanka with its war torn landscape. As Shepard took it in her palm, Eve went on. "A simple crystal. But it became my chisel. Take it as a reminder, Commander. In the darkest hour, there is always a way out."

Completely caught off guard, Shepard stared. "I can't take this…it's yours."

The golden eyes seemed to lighten as the smile finally reached Eve's eyes. "I think you might need it more than I do, Commander."

Shepard curled her fingers around the crystal and smiled. "So what do you think of Wrex?"

At this, Eve rolled her eyes. "When he's not trying to sire half of Tuchanka, he's the best thing that's happened to the Krogan…but I won't tell him that. His head's big enough already. Literally."

Both women laughed, and Shepard felt at ease. It had been so long since she was able to fully talk about boys with this sort of ease. "He's turned into a strong leader."

"I know in his heart Wrex wants what's best for us." Admitted Eve, her voice taking on a more reflective tone. "Though not all the other clans see it that way. And what about you, Commander?"

Erin leaned back, running a hand through her hair. "Wrex has always been a good friend to me. Someone I can rely on to watch my back in a firefight or in a political arena."

Eve glanced sideways at the human beside her. "I didn't mean Wrex. You have someone special to you…the Turian, Garrus."

Eyes wide, Shepard's head snapped around fast enough to give anyone else whiplash. Eve shrugged in a matter of fact sort of way. "I saw your reaction when Mordin proposed him as a mate. Although unconventional, I can tell you care about him."

A flush crept into Shepard's cheeks. "I do…but since we've returned, things have been different. Just different. I worry that…well, since I was incarcerated, things might have changed."

Silence fell between the two for a heartbeat before Shepard chuckled bitterly, nodding at where Mordin was working. "You know, he helped us out in the beginning. He was the first to really figure it out and approach me about it. I just feel that with this war and everything I'm getting swept away…It's nice to see that Mordin hasn't lost himself."

"If your Turian is as strong as Mordin makes him out to be," Eve spoke in a hushed, almost motherly tone, "Then you will withstand the tide of this war."

In an effort to fight the flush that she knew was creeping up her cheeks, Shepard nodded at where the Salarian was working. "How has Mordin been treating you?"

A hint of laughter crept into Eve's voice. "Better than Krogan males do. He's not like a typical Salarian."

Across the room Mordin shook his head, voice almost indecipherable as he worked. "No, no, no – organ redundancy results in new period before metaphase. Can't alter that. Damage to telomeres, premature again…"

"He does that." Chuckled Shepard, a warm smile spreading across her face.

The motherly tone was back in Eve's voice as she studied the Salarian. "But I sense pain in him too. He told me about his work on the genophage. I should consider him an enemy. Yet I think seeing my sisters and I changed something in him."

Both women's eyes met before Mordin's voice drifted across the lab, once more falling into the same pitter-patter song he had once recited to Shepard. "Asari-vorcha offspring have an allergy to dairy, and…"

Smiling seemed impossible to fight as Shepard and Eve ducked their heads together. "Well, it wasn't his ear. Thank you for talking to me."

Shepard rose, taking Eve's hand as she did so. The Krogan's voice was warm and genuine. "It's my pleasure, Commander. I've only met a few humans in my time. I'm glad for the opportunity."

"Call me Erin." Shepard said, smiling. "The least I can do is let you know my name, just in case this war doesn't work out for us."

With a renewed confidence, Shepard strode back into the crew deck. Eve was right…she and Garrus would be strong enough. They would get through it, but only if they were bold enough to charge right into the current.


	62. Drive By

Okay, shorter chapter that I'll probably add more to. But I wanted to give these two some nice moments before the whole thing wraps. I also have most of the story songs plotted and by the end we'll end up around 100 chapters all told. You guys keep telling me what you like and what you need to see in my writing and I shall attempt to deliver. To all you American readers, Happy 4th of July (a bit late)!

Chapter inspired by Train's Drive By

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_**Drive By**_

Garrus was never one to say no to extra visits from Shepard. However, when she showed up in the main battery with two tumblers of liquid and locked the door, the Turian's heart jumped right into his throat. On one hand, he loved seeing Shepard, but on the other, things had been strained between the two.

Well, strained wasn't the right word. It was more back to normal, but not the romance aspect. Truth be told, she was slipping more and more into the role of a friend, but that worried Garrus even more than if she just stopped speaking to him altogether. It was as though he were losing her, slowly and painfully.

Shepard's biotics glowed as she slid a small box across the floor and seated herself on it. Her face was blank as she offered Garrus one tumbler. "Don't worry, it's not alcoholic. We are technically still on duty."

Words dried up in the Turian's mouth as he accepted the drink. As he took a sip, the gentle flavors of fruit washed over his mouth. Garrus nodded and swallowed before he was able to speak. "So what brings you back to my neck of the woods?"

"Wanted to talk." Shepard admitted, swirling the liquid in her own tumbler.

Leaning against the console, Garrus nodded. "Okay. Let's talk. Anything in particular?"

A smile flashed across her face before Shepard swung her legs up to sit cross-legged. "You. And Me. And probably the year in between."

Garrus sighed and glanced down at his feet. "Shep, what did you want me to say?"

Erin leaned forward and her deep blue eyes were imploring. "I want you to say what you feel. I know how I feel, but…"

"Erin…" Voice low, Garrus felt a rumble building in his chest. "Shepard, I don't…"

"Stop." At this, Erin rose and closed the distance so that she stood in front of him. "Garrus, I want this to work. I know you do. And to do that, we have to talk. I'm honest, I'm scared. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't know why. Was it because I was incarcerated?"

Setting aside his drink, Garrus stared at his bond mate, heart aching. "Shepard, I know you did what you had to for the safety of the galaxy. I don't blame you for what happened at the Alpha Relay. You know that. But…"

He hesitated before the tan Turian curled his hand into a fist. "I don't know if you even feel the same way. A year is a long time and you…you're the same, but so different. And I'm…I'm still the same Turian you met three years ago. And I still don't deserve you, and –"

Shepard stopped Garrus cold, holding her left hand right up in the Turian's face. It took him a moment to realize exactly what she was showing him, and when he saw it, Garrus could swear he stopped breathing for just a second. Slowly, Erin shook her head, brows knit together. "I never took this off."

Barely able to breathe, Garrus' ice blue eyes flickered from the ring to Shepard. "You…you actually…"

"Of course." There was a note of hurt in Shepard's voice as she nodded. "Garrus, you are the best thing that's ever walked into my life. This was never a one-time thing. I don't care what you think, but I told you that I'm your bond mate."

Without another word, Garrus closed the distance, pressing his head against Shepard's as forcibly as he dared. The tension between the pair had dissipated in an instant and now there was just the two, attempting to get as close as they could.

Talons barely grazing the back of her head, Garrus laced his fingers through Shepard's hair. Pulling back just the tiniest bit, he hummed softly. "Your hair…it's gotten some…what do you humans call them?"

"Highlights." Murmured Erin, her voice low and husky. "Vega let me out to train with some of the marines. I guess spending so much time in the sun added some new color."

Relishing the feel of her silky strands against his plates, Garrus exhaled softly. "I like it. But I'd like it no matter what. Spirits, I'd love my bond mate no matter what she looked like."

This simple admission had Shepard laughing, which in turn had shivers running down Garrus' spine. His mandibles flared outwards in pleasure as Shepard relaxed into his arms. "Glad to know, because your scars haven't scared me off yet. Still believe me when I say that I'm sticking around?"

"Always." Hummed Garrus. He paused, then blinked and lit up like a kid in a candy store. "you know what, if we're going to get killed in this war, I should take you somewhere nice first."

Laughter barely hidden behind her voice, Shepard shook her head. "Garrus, you asked me to be your bond mate in the Citadel's Coucil chamber. We've been all over the galaxy. You don't need to do that."

Shaking his head, Garrus wagged a finger at Shepard. "No, I'm serious. A shot at one last normal thing before we die."

"Okay, okay, fine. We can go somewhere." Relented the brunette, all illusion of her annoyance ruined by the smile on her face.

At last releasing Shepard, Garrus nodded. "But, it's my choice. A little surprise."

A pout caused Shepard's lips to purse together, but she nodded. "All right then. I'll be holding you to it, Officer Vakarian. So long as you promise me one thing."

Intrigued, Garrus tilted his head. "Okay. Shoot."

The moment of relaxation was gone as the same worry and stress returned to her face. "That you'll live to see this damn war finish."


	63. Everybody

Oh holy snap, the updates to are awesome. Instead of going through a long upload process, I can just copy and paste. Do you readers know what that MEANS?!

Hopefully, faster uploads from me. Yay! I've been trying to give more behind-the-scenes looks at the story, but I will still have to include certain scenes from the game. I hope that this new outlook satisfies everyone (since I know my writing was getting a bit stale). If you readers have any ideas for songs, let me know. And I'd love to hear what you want to see after the battle with the Reapers is done. I have a few ideas, but do you want to see more original missions? Coverage of any upcoming DLC? Just snippets of domestic life? Let me know!

Chapter inspired by Ingrid Michaelson's Everbody

* * *

_**Everybody**_

Commander Erin Shepard wasn't sure what shocked her more, the sudden appearance of Garrus in her private quarters, or the stack of bridal magazines he had in his arms. She had been hard at work, trying to make arrangements for the Primarch's son's funeral, new reports from the battlefront, and keeping track of the situation on Tuchanka with the possible cure for the genophage. However, it seemed that Garrus Vakarian had a different idea.

Depositing his stash onto her bed, Garrus beamed over at Shepard. "What do you think?"

At last, Shepard turned to look at the Turian, a data pad still clenched in her hand and it was clear that the human was not fully focused. "What in the hell are you doing Garrus? And where did you get those?"

"Well, I had a hard time trying to find some of them, but I talked a little with some of the women on the crew - I didn't tell them anything, I made up a story that my sister was researching human wedding customs for a friend – And a few I actually had to go out and find on my own, but…" At this point Garrus glanced over to where Shepard was distractedly glancing between him and the information in her hand.

A wave of frusteration swept over Garrus momentarily before he rose and tugged the data pad out of Shepard's hand.

"Oi!" Exclaimed Shepard, her blue eyes rising immediately to Garrus. "I was looking over those casualty reports!"

Garrus chose to ignore this fact. "And I'm asking you to forgo that in favor of something that doesn't involve death tolls."

Before Shepard could object, he scooped Shepard out of her chair and deftly turned to deposit her on the bed, far away from the reports that told only of death and the destruction of the world they knew. Even as he did so, Shepard was protesting. "Garrus, I really need to work now. There's more reports coming in, Hackett wants my opinion on the situation with the Asari, not to mention the tensions between us and the Salarians, Mordin needs a few more things for the Genophage cure, and that's not even assessing the needs of the crew."

"I know. I know." Murmured Garrus, "But I was just thinking that…well, it might be nice to take a little break. Distract yourself."

With a meek little smile, he selected a magazine from the pile and plopped it into Shepard's lap. She glanced at it, one eyebrow raised. "Wedding magazines Garrus? Really?"

The Turian smiled, his ice blue eyes bright. "Well, you said you wanted to do this the right way by all cultures, and I've been thinking that you're right. We'll have a nice ceremony where both of us are happy and the people important to us can be involved. I don't know much about human customs, so I figured that these would help…"

Although weary, Shepard couldn't help but smile at the thought Garrus was putting into this action. "I don't know about this Garrus…I mean, can you really see me all dolled up like this? White dress, flowers, more makeup than I know what to do with…I just don't see it."

Setting aside the magazine, Shepard pulled one leg up onto the bed as Garrus stared at her, slightly baffled. It took a moment for him to get more words out. "Shepard, I thought you'd be all for this. You were the one saying…"

"I know what I said, but that was before all this." The brunette motioned towards the stack of reports on her desk. "It'd be easier if you and I just…eloped. We could probably get Anderson to perform the ceremony, we'd only need two people as witnesses, no fancy dress or anything like that, and we could just get back to work at fighting the Reapers."

It was as though someone had declared it opposite day. Garrus stared at Shepard, not quite sure that he was hearing the commander right. A year ago she had been so determined to have a proper ceremony and do things by the book, but now she was the one willing to run off with him. Somehow, Garrus wanted nothing more than to agree with Shepard, to call up Anderson or Hackett and just be with her already. And yet…his eyes strayed to the images of flowers and traditional white, human gowns.

Heart lurching, Garrus sighed. "No, Shepard, you were right the first time, like you always are. We're going to do this the right way. Not because you feel rushed by the Reapers or anything like that, but because that's what you wanted. And truth be told, I think I want it too."

Shepard bit her lip, clearly not sold on the idea. "Garrus, are you sure? I mean, the reports aren't good. I don't want to die – again – without being able to say I did everything I wanted to do. But I don't know…I don't think I'm a white dress and flowers sort of girl."

"Neither do I." Murmured Garrus, scooting just a little bit closer. "But I don't want to die being a total screw up. I told you that I want something in my life to go right, just once. I plan on us being it."

At last, this brought a small, weary smile to Shepard's face. Slowly, she flipped a few of the magazines over before pausing on one, her fingertips lightly tracing across the surface. "…I do think that these flowers aren't half bad."

A content hum rumbled forth from Garrus' chest. "It's a start. And besides, we've got time to think about this a little more."

The silence that filled the room spoke words that Shepard couldn't voice. Leaning closer, Garrus's voice dropped low. "We do have time, don't we?"

"I don't know." Whispered Shepard, shaking her head. "We can't hold the Reapers off forever, and without everyone's cooperation, the Crucible is just a dream. Plus, I'm still worried about what Cerberus is up to…with the Illusive Man going after us at every turn, I just don't know."

A wave of guilt swept over Garrus. Here he was, trying to push frivolous things like marriage upon Shepard when she was already expected to bear the weight of a galaxy. He laid a hand over hers. "Shepard, you know who the real threat is, and that's the Reapers. You're doing what you can."

The brunette hung her head, her eyes closed. "I know I am, but I have to wonder if it's going to be enough in the long run. Is curing the Genophage going to be worth losing the support of the Salarians?"

"Is seeing Eve and Wrex together worth it?" Garrus fired back, his ice blue eyes bright with laughter. "Shepard, my people created the Genophage, and I think you're doing the right thing. And in the end, I'm sure it'll work out."

It took a moment before Shepard raised her ocean blue eyes and a wry little smile flickered across her face. "When did you get so wise?"

Barely able to hold back a laugh, Garrus just nuzzled closer. "Only after I found someone who was willing to teach me."


	64. Party Rock Anthem

There's just so much going on, consider you even had this chapter a minor miracle. Senior year is busy as hell. Ick.

Inspired by LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem

* * *

_**Party Rock Anthem**_

"So, got a plan?"

With Wrex roaring at Rachni, Shepard was left alone with Garrus and Liara, staring up at the Reaper Destroyer that stood between them and the Shroud. She glanced sideways at Garrus, one eyebrow arched. "You mean aside from summon the largest Thresher Maw in the galaxy to fight for us? No, not really."

Pistol prepped, she continued on, moving forwards. "Expect to deal with plenty of Reaper forces. This means Liara, I want you to be throwing out singularities as often as you can. Garrus, your job is to keep them at distance, so concussive rounds to knock out shields."

"And what about you, commander?" Liara's voice was concerned, her deep blue eyes probing the human.

A wry smirk spread across Shepard's face. "I'll take care of the rest. Besides, I've been dying to try a few things…what better opportunity?"

Before Garrus had a moment to object, Shepard leapt forward, her voice crackling through the com system. "Come on! We have to keep moving otherwise that Reaper will turn us into dust!"

Shaking his head, Garrus followed the two women as they charged forwards, biotics flaring. No matter how often he saw her using them, the thought of Shepard with biotics still seemed so alien to him. Perhaps it was the fact that she could outshoot most everyone on the ship with any gun you care to pick. Her upbringing as a straight shooting soldier hadn't been diminished by Cerberus' upgrades.

And even watching her now, it was clear that their missions on Tuchanka in the past couple days hadn't worn her out. They had been through hell…rescuing a downed Turian platoon and then diffusing the Turian bomb…not to mention being pursued by Cerberus the whole time. It was a wonder she was still standing strong.

Still, Shepard wasn't about to let a few setbacks stop her. She practically flew over barriers, using the new biotic trick she called Nova to push opponents backwards. Of course, Garrus had discovered that this move took her shields out, so he compensated by taking extra care to cover her.

"Shepard! I took care of those Rachni!" Wrex's voice crackled through the com systems, making it sound as though he were standing right next to them. "But someone has to raise those maw hammers before you can use them!"

As Liara tossed a husk around like a rag doll, Shepard straightened, pulling her boots out of a cannibal's chest with a sickly sucking sound. "We're a little busy Wrex!"

His deep chuckle poured through. "Lucky for you I'm here – I'll handle it!"

The trio had made it to a flight of stairs by now, and Shepard crouched halfway up them, her deep ocean colored eyes assessing her teammates. "Right. As soon as we're over this bridge, that Reaper is going to have eyes right on us. We'll need to move fast and try and get underneath it."

Garrus balked, his mandibles flaring wide. "Sorry Shepard, did you say under?"

"Tactically, it's sound." Murmured Liara, lost in thought. "It won't be able to hit us with its main weapons if we're directly below it."

"Yeah, but it'll still stomp us into nothing!" Exclaimed Garrus, his ice blue eyes flickering between Shepard and Liara. "You cannot possibly be serious."

Shepard shook her head, voice strained. "Do we have another choice? That's the only way. Come on."

Even as they headed out, Garrus felt a pang of regret at voicing his concerns. Although he knew Shepard would appreciate him being honest, it was still hard to see her under so much pressure. To know that he was adding to it…

As always, the brunette human took the lead, charging across the gap in the bridge. However, the Reaper wasn't going to have any of that. The crimson beam sliced downwards, tearing into the already unstable bridge. Shepard, for her part, reacted well, spinning on her heel and even getting a few steps back towards her teammates.

Her eyes met Garrus' in the instant before the ground dropped out beneath her. The Turian roared in shock, skidding to a halt at the edge of the bridge. Below, he could see Shepard tumbling out of the dust, coughing, but otherwise unharmed. It was another minute before he could make his way down there with Liara's help, but Shepard seemed less concerned about that.

"Everyone okay?" Shepard asked the question to nobody in particular, but her gaze was already assessing Garrus, ensuring that the Turian hadn't been harmed.

No words were needed. A simple nod was all before Shepard turned her gaze back up the stairs. "Right. Here's where it's going to get ugly. Come on."

Even as they reached the top of the stairs, Wrex was back on the com systems. "Shepard, I raised the hammers! You have to activate both of them. My advice is avoid the giant laser!"

In spite of the situation, Shepard and Garrus both laughed. That was cut short as a pillar exploded into stone fragments, the laser screeching through the air. Shepard rolled towards its base, sheltering her head with her arms. A small reprieve was granted as Turian fighters swooped in to keep the Reaper occupied. Herding her teammates ahead of her, Shepard paused in cover, sandwiched between the two.

A wild grin crossed her face. "This is the easy part."

By this point, they had made it to a spot that was almost beneath the Reaper. Above, it jerked about, attempting to take down the nimble Turian fighters. However, this meant that the Reaper's massive feet were stomping about.

"Shepard! Brute!" The panic in Liara's voice was evident as the first pod smashed into the ground, unveiling one of the hulking abominations.

Eyes wide, Shepard's pistol cracked out sharp reports. "Open fire! Take it down!"

Even so, Garrus took a flying leap to snatch Shepard out of the way of the Brute's charge. The pair tumbled into a pile of rubble before being able to regain some semblance of balance. Although under other circumstances, the situation might have been considered romantic, this was neither the time nor place.

Several near misses later had Shepard bloodied and sweating in the dust, Reaper still stomping about above them. She smiled at Liara. "See, that wasn't so bad."

Liara didn't even reply before the next pods deployed. Garrus stared, not quite registering what he was seeing before him.

"Garrus, please give me a count."

"You don't want that Shepard."

Her voice was hard. "I will make that an order, Vakarian."

He shook his head, sighing. "Five. Five brutes inbound. Best plan of attack?"

All eyes turned to Shepard. She glanced between the two before realizing how close the first brute was.

"RUN!"

Admittedly, not one of their more dignified plans. But as Shepard slid sideways to avoid one of the five Brutes that decided that she was on their shit-list today, Garrus had to admit that it was functional. Liara sprinted for the far right hammer, while Garrus and Shepard instinctively went for the one on the left.

The Reaper's leg descended like the finger of God, but Shepard paid it no mind, stumbling only a moment before continuing her dogged trek towards the hammer. Once she reached it, she stared for an instant.

"How in the hell do you work one of these?!"

Fortunately, her tried and true method of slamming her hand into things seemed to work, with the reverberations of the hammer lost in the din of battle. Getting back across the battlefield was not as easy, with five Brutes convening on them and a battered Liara practically dragging herself across the stairs towards the hammer to deal with. Garrus took it upon himself to carry Liara to the hammer as Shepard applied medi-gel.

With the final hammer slamming in time with the other, Shepard gazed at her weary colleagues, face smudged with dust as well as blood from her own wounds and Liara's. "See…I told you that was the easy part."


	65. I Think It's Going to Rain Today

Okay, I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I had no idea how to capture this scene right. If this part of the game didn't make you cry, you have no soul. I was bawling. Like, full on waterworks. Goddamn. I even heard something that when the writers brought this scene to the meeting, people were crying. Damn.

Inspired by Norah Jones' I Think It's Going to Rain Today.

* * *

_**I Think It's Going to Rain Today**_

"No. No other option. Not coming back." Mordin turned, his big dark eyes meeting Shepard's gaze. "Suggest you get clear. Explosion likely to be…problematic."

For what seemed like the thousandth time in the past few days, Shepard strode after Mordin, her heart thundering in her chest. "Mordin, no!"

He turned, already in the elevator, Omni-tool glowing. "Shepard, please. Have to do this. My project, my work, my cure…my responsibility." The Salarian inhaled deeply through his nose, mouth curling into a smile. "Would have liked to run tests on the seashells."

Perhaps it was the pleading tone in his voice, but Shepard found herself pulling up short, her heart sinking in understanding. She had known that Mordin was old for a Salarian, he was near the end of his life. This was his way of righting the wrongs he had made in this world.

"I'm sorry." The Spectre's words were hollow, her voice choked as she tried to fight back tears she knew were barely hidden.

In the elevator, Mordin practically beamed. "I'm not. Had to be me."

The doors hissed shut, the hydraulic noise sounding more ominous than ever before. The scarred, old Salarian was still smiling as the elevator began to move. "Someone else might have gotten it wrong."

As he vanished upwards, Shepard watched the elevator car go. Somehow, those last words just made her feel worse about leaving him.

Erin Shepard made it outside to the meeting point when the Shroud exploded. The air was filled with what looked like huge cottonwood seeds, making it look as though snow had finally come to the barren wasteland that was Tuchanka. Behind her, Erin was aware of Wrex, Eve, and Garrus tumbling out of the huge vehicles, but she stared up at where tongues of golden fire licked along the top of the Shroud.

Garrus approached Shepard hesitantly, his mandibles pressed tight against his face. "Shepard…?"

"Let's go." Her voice was hollow, and the human refused to look up at him. "I don't want to be here when it comes down."

* * *

The Normandy was silent as it slid through space. There was a heavy, somber feeling that Garrus knew all too well by now. It was the silence that the ship got when someone had been lost…it was the same silence that had settled when they lost Ashley.

To his surprise, Shepard had come down to visit him in the Main Battery. Not that she had much to say. She seemed numb, simply staring at the pipes and wiring. In her hands, she rotated the crystal that Eve had left her with.

At last, Garrus heaved a sigh. "Shepard, you're starting to scare me. Say something."

"Something."

Well, her sense of humor was still intact. That was a relief. Striding over to where she sat on a few spare crates, Garrus settled beside her. "What's really on your mind Shepard?"

Wearily, Shepard shook her head, strands of mahogany hair falling across her face. "Mordin. I could have saved him Garrus. Could've stopped him…done something."

"And risk the cure?" Garrus inquired, voice humming as he pulled her close. "I know you Shepard. That's not your style."

For the first time since the mission began, Shepard allowed an iota of tension to dissipate and she leaned into the Turian's warmth. "It shouldn't have been him. He was too good…too kind. I don't like losing friends to this war. It's bad enough we almost lost Kaidan…"

"I know." Hummed Garrus, tilting his head so it rested against Shepard's. "He was a good man."

A tremor passed through Shepard's shoulders and Garrus felt a few drops of moisture land on his talon. He didn't move, however, at risk of disturbing the commander. When she spoke, her voice was fragile. "I just…Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't I have been the one to go?"

Pulling her close, Garrus took a deep breath to steady himself. It was odd to have to be the strong one now…usually it was Shepard comforting him. "You know why Shepard. He said it himself…"

"Someone else might have gotten it wrong." A bitter laugh escaped Shepard. "It's not fair though. Bakara liked him…hell, even Wrex thought he was okay!"

Confused, Garrus turned. "Bakara?"

Clenching the crystal tight in her hands, Shepard nodded. "The female…her name is Bakara."

"Hey." Garrus turned Shepard, who was surprisingly dry-eyed, so that she sat in his lap. "You and Mordin did a hell of a thing today. You cured the Genophage. That's something nobody else could have done. You've given Wrex and Bakara a future. You've given the galaxy a fighting chance at having a future after the Reapers. In the short term, you've saved my people."

With Shepard now curled against his chest, Garrus could feel her heart beating in a syncopated rhythm to his own, her head curled into the crook of his neck. She chuckled, a somber little sound. "What would I do without you?"

Inadvertently, Garrus purred happily. "Spirits, I don't even know. Did you get any sleep earlier?"

Beneath his talons, Shepard stiffened. Peering down, Garrus could see Shepard's ocean blue eyes glazing over as she stared at an unremarkable patch of wall. He heaved a sigh. "Nightmares again?"

It was something that he remembered finding out very early about Shepard – their time on the SR-1 seemed lifetimes ago – but somehow he'd thought that Cerberus would have gotten rid of those when they rebuilt her.

Erin sighed, spinning the crystal between her palms. "It's a choice between the nightmares my mind comes up for me when I sleep or the real ones when I'm awake. I can at least do something about the ones when I'm awake."

"I guess I can't stop you…" Murmured Garrus, ducking his forehead to hers. "But at least I can take some of the stress off. Remember, I'm coordinating the Turian forces, so that's one less thing for you to worry about."

In his arms, Shepard was silent. Her gaze was still miles away, and Garrus had a good guess that it was still on Tuchanka, reliving that last moment between her and Mordin. What had happened, she hadn't even told him yet. He wasn't sure if she ever would. But that was her choice. The tan-gray Turian squeezed her shoulders. "Hey, when this is over, we'll have a memorial for him."

"A memorial?" The surprise in Shepard's voice couldn't be hidden. Yet the curiosity seemed to be taking her mind away from Tuchanka. "What do you mean?"

Garrus barreled on. "We'll go to Tunchanka, put a plaque down. Or a statue. We'll have a parade and all sorts of celebrations to honor Mordin and all the Krogan who gave their lives to defeat the Reapers. With a huge feast…and we'll celebrate what he did."

At last, she laughed. A hollow, weary sound, but it was still a laugh. "I think you've been hitting the red sand there Garrus."

"Maybe," He admitted, mandibles flaring in a wide grin. "But think about it! When this is all over, there'll be celebrations everywhere. You'll be a galactic hero…people will want you to be there. You will just have to do nothing but enjoy yourself for months! There'll be huge, planet-wide parties in your honor on every home world in the galaxy…and I'll make sure that the one on Palaven is the biggest of all."

Once more, Shepard fell silent. Garrus felt his stomach lurch uncomfortably as he realized what his bond mate was thinking. "Hey," He placed a talon beneath her chin, tiling the human's face to meet his gaze, "We are going to make it through this. You promised."

She sighed, dropping her gaze. "I know, but with this war…I just don't know. There's so much that's uncertain…"

"I am not going to lose you to a goddamn Reaper." Snarled Garrus, bristling at the thought. "Even if you don't believe it, I'm going to make damn sure you get through this. I promise."

Although she nodded in agreement, Garrus couldn't fight the gnawing feeling that Shepard was simply agreeing to make him feel better. Watching her toy with the pale lavender crystal, the Turian had to wonder if Shepard was so busy fighting for the galaxy, who the hell was fighting for her?


	66. In One Ear

Update time! I know it's short and kinda clipped, but enjoy. I've been super busy lately with school, but I'll try and get some updates. My ultimate goal is to finish this by the time I graduate in May.

UPDATE: Added a few more sentences to lead into the next chapter.

Chapter inspired by Cage the Elephant's In One Ear.

* * *

In One Ear

To say that the Citadel was a war zone would be pretty accurate. Before they had even been given time to sufficeiently mourn Mordin's death, the Salarian government had contacted Shepard.

Whatever they had told her, it caused her frowns to deepen and order a direct course to the Citadel. Now, as they ducked behind the same piece of cover, Garrus leaned close to Shepard, raising his voice to be heard over the racket of battle. "So remind me why we're here?"

Leaning close, Shepard called back. "The Salarian counselor has uncovered information that's worrying. If this information is correct, it implicates Udina in some shady money transfers. I was supposed to meet with him here, but as you can see…"

A rocket streaked overhead, screaming shrilly as it passed. The brunette ducked, even though she was behind cover. Garrus leaned close, attempting to shield her with his body. "Things have gone a little sideways. So we find the Salarian counselor?"

"That was the plan, but…" She paused to pop up over cover and spatter a Cerberus soldier with fire. "…Kaidan is still here. And Thane. We need to find them too. But first things first, we need to get down this hall to the Salarian."

The thought of Thane caused a surge of jealousy to wrap around Garrus' stomach before he pushed it aside. Shepard had chosen him, nobody else. Just him. He pushed the thought from his mind as Shepard cursed softly. "Shit, left my sniper back on the Normandy."

Now this surprised him. Garrus hadn't seen Shepard use a sniper rifle in…well, years. But before he could move she had taken his beloved rifle from his hands and was propping herself over the box. "Cover me!"

The rifle coughed a round; sending a Cerberus agent spinning across the hall and into a wall, blood oozing out onto the stark white armor. In the back of his mind, Garrus couldn't help but recall that Shepard was once upon a time a straight shooting soldier, not the biotic hybrid she was now. She was at home with any sort of gun you cared to give her.

Ahead of them, Liara cried out. "Mech!"

Without thinking, Garrus wrapped an arm around Shepard's waist and pulled back, bullets striking the place where they had been not seconds before. In the second that they were down, Garrus paused, his arm still tight around Shepard's waist. He knew she was slim, but she seemed…smaller than before. Had she been losing weight?

No time to really assess that situation as Shepard tossed the rifle back to him, unslinging her heavy pistol. "We do NOT have time for this! Take it down!"

Under their combined might the mech fell, it's great thundering steps stopped short. Even so, Garrus had to stare at Shepard, looking for some sign that he was right. Her face did look a little thinner, but nothing that would be unusual. Now worry began to set in. Was she still eating? Had the stress begun to get to her? Even as they charged up and around the office area where the Salarian counselor was supposed to be, the blue-eyed Turian watched his bond mate closely.

Liara, grabbed at Shepard's arm. "There! Look, Shepard!"

Below, the Salarian counselor's cloaking device had deactivated, revealing him as he crawled out from beneath a desk. Relief was short lived, however, as another figure dropped from above to reveal himself. From above, Shepard could tell he was not friendly, but this lithe assassin cloaked in black wielded a blade, as well as a handful of biotic energy that was squarely aimed at the counselor.

Ocean blue eyes wide, Shepard turned, her razor sharp mind already working furiously. No time to go down the stairs, the counselor would be dead already. Couldn't take him out from up here, too much room for error. Only one option.

Glass shattered and Shepard was vaulting over the ledge before Garrus could move to stop her. Pistol drawn and ready, she glared at Cerberus' assassin. "Don't even think about it!"

"Shepard, he's going to kill us all!" Hissed the counselor. Garrus and Liara were already hurrying down the stairs, weapons drawn and trained on the raven-haired assassin.

She circled towards the assassin, who in turn circled so that both had the counselor between them. "That remains to be seen."

While the counselor hissed more words at Shepard, Garrus felt his heart thundering. This was no ordinary soldier, he could tell that at a glance. This man had implants and armor that looked far more advanced than any other Cerberus grunt. This was a man trained for one purpose only: to kill. And he was in a position to take Shepard.

It was this thought that propelled him out into the open, as close to Shepard as he dared. Yet his Turian instincts told him that it wouldn't be close enough if the assassin chose to make a move.

"Three on one pal," Called the brunette spectre, "It's over."

For the first time, the assassin spoke, his voice dripping with silky smooth menace. "No…now it's fun."

Time slowed for an instant. The Salarian counselor cowered, shielding his face. Shepard's finger tightened on the trigger. Garrus tensed his legs, ready to move and snatch Shepard to safety. Liara almost hummed with biotic energy.

And then there was the mechanical clack of a fourth gun unfolding.

Thane Krios stood behind the Cerberus assassin, dark eyes unreadable, his brow furrowed as though a storm was clouding over it. And that's when they moved.

It was lightning fast. First a block from Cerberus, then a retaliation from Thane. A block, then a counter-attack. A shot at the face, then a retaliatory one to the ribs. Unable to take their eyes off the battle, Shepard and Garrus ushered the counselor away from the fight and towards Liara's protective barrier.

A throw, followed by a roll and shots fired by Thane into…nothing. The other assassin had vanished. But not for long. He reappeared off to Thane's left, removing the blade from his back. Lightning fast, they moved, almost like a dance. More shots fired, he came in with the sword. Thane ducked, knocking it aside, responding with a swift spinning kick to the face and then a powerful biotic backhand that sent the other assassin sprawling.

They stared at each other from a ways away, each man sizing the other up. Thane reloaded his pistol before charging. In the instant it took for them to close the distance, Garrus felt his stomach drop.

The blade had slid straight through Thane, the sickly sucking sound it made as it pulled out more of a punctuation to the fight.

"THANE!" Shepard's voice was shrill, almost a shriek as she moved, her pistol cracking. As she chased the assassin down the stairs, the drell rose, following her, his own gun joining hers.

She paused, torn. On one hand, she couldn't just leave Thane to bleed out. But on the other…. "I have time. Catch him."

Thane's voice was soft, but strong enough. It was all she needed. Shepard opened up a car and stared at Garrus. "Get in. We're going driving."

The Turian swallowed and glanced at Liara. If Shepard was a crazy driver on a good day, then this was not going to be a pleasant ride.

* * *

Within the hour, it was over. Shepard was covered in blood, smoke, sweat, and what appeared to be motor oil, but it was over. Udina lay dead on the tarmac, the counselors shuffled off to safe haven. Even Kaidan was safe. By all accounts, she should have felt good.

And yet, the human only felt nauseous.

The thought of Thane was still present in her mind and the image of the black clad Cerberus assassin was swimming behind her eyeballs. Liara drew level, snapping her out of her thoughts of murderous revenge.

"Udina…if I wasn't here to see it…" She shook her head slowly. "I don't think I would have believed it."

Nodding slowly, the brunette felt detatched. "Yeah…I never particularly liked him, but still…"

She trailed off, mind slowly returning to Thane. He had been taken back to the hospital, but Shepard had a feeling that the wound was worse than anyone was telling her. A ways away, Garrus was discussing things with the Turian counselor in a low voice, but he kept giving her little sidelong glances, worry evident in his eyes.

Slowly, Shepard moved off and paused, throwing Garrus a glance. As she moved off, the Turian disengaged himself from the counselor to follow after his bond mate. Catching up with her, he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Shep, are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know." She murmured, shaking almost imperceptibly beneath Garrus' hand. "I mean, I should be sad about Udina, but I just…I can't feel sad about him."

After a moment, she glanced up at him. "Thane's at the hospital. I need to go see him."

A pang shot through Garrus' chest. His first thought was of Thane's attraction to Shepard, but then Garrus stopped himself. He'd seen Thane's wound. Both Garrus and Shepard knew that without some serious luck, Thane's situation wasn't good.

Leaning forward, Garrus pressed his forehead swiftly against Shepard's. "Go. I'll be here waiting for you."


	67. Let It Be

So yeah, update! I think I said before that my goal is to have this done by the time I graduate, and I'd still like to have that. But since it's National Novel Writing Month, things are a bit...hectic. Plus school. And I had my appendix out (SURPRISE). So yeah, a bit busy. But my first novel is going to start moving towards publication! If you like my writing here and want to support me, you can follow me on Twitter ( PensnPencils) for more updates. I should have a blog going up on Tumblr soon, and I'll keep you posted there.

Chapter inspired by The Beatles/Across the Universe's "Let it Be"

* * *

_**Let It Be**_

Shepard entered the hospital room, the smell of antiseptic filling her nostrils. It looked so eerily similar to the room that Kaidan had laid in only a few doors down, except there was a different atmosphere. Doctors and nurses were not rushing about, there were no machines beeping, no sense of urgency here. There was only stillness and resignation.

Thane lay in bed, reclining. If she didn't know better, Shepard would have said that he was simply napping. His jade skin wasn't pale, the way humans would be. But he was still, so very still that it was almost impossible to tell if he was moving at first.

At Thane's bedside, a younger Drell straightened, unclasping his hands. As he turned, Shepard had to take a moment before she could recognize the man who stood before her.

"Commander Shepard. My father mentioned you were no longer incarcerated. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Kolyat Krios. I came to donate blood and…well…" He trailed off.

The brunette commander nodded slowly. Certianly she remembered Kolyat, how couldn't she? Somehow she managed to recall few of the ones she saved, but all the ones she couldn't.

Kolyat went on, his teal skin nothing like his father's jade. "He asked me to take off his oxygen mask so he could be comfortable. I don't think it will be very long."

"Your father helped me save a lot of lives." The words were tripping off Shepard's tongue before she could really think about them or stop them. "I'd like to be here."

Inwardly, Shepard kicked herself. Certainly that was part of it, but why was she really here? To feed her own ego? It was no secret that Thane cared more for her than she could care for him. Perhaps to give him comfort in his final moments. Her heart pounded as she cast her ocean blue eyes over to where Thane lay.

Somehow, Kolyat must have sensed her hesitation. He stared at her, scrutinizing the commander with his impossibly dark eyes before stepping aside. It was almost as if he were guarding his father in his final moments. "Of course."

As she approached, Shepard felt her heart lurch. Dead bodies did not bother her, she'd seen enough in her time. But it was always sudden, quick deaths. Not this. She rarely encountered those in the process of dying.

Thane, however, didn't seem to notice that she was nervous. He had eyes only for her, tilting his head in her direction. "Siha…I'm afraid I've picked a bad time to leave."

"You've done more than enough." Shepard leaned forwards, already fighting to keep her ocean blue eyes dry. "You haven't disappointed me. You couldn't disappoint me Thane."

A smile fluttered across Thane's features. "Such pleasant things from your lips." He was interrupted by a particularly violent series of coughs, which propelled him into a sort of sitting position before the Drell flopped back again. "Excuse me…breathing is difficult. But…that assassin should be disappointed. A terminally ill Drell prevented him from reaching his target."

In spite of the situation, Shepard smiled. "I'll be sure to pass the word along."

From where he lay, Thane gave a sort of humming sound that reminded Shepard of the noise Garrus made when content. He took another labored breath. "Siha…it will be soon. I need to know if the councilor survived."

Before Shepard could speak, Kolyat interrupted from where he stood at the foot of the bed. "Yes, Father. Three are alive thanks to you and Shepard. Udina…he instigated it. He is dead."

Both Drell stared at Shepard, obvious thanks and respect on their features. For her part, Shepard couldn't meet their eyes.

_Don't thank me yet._

"There is something I must do before it gets worse. I must-" Another spasm of dry coughs punctuated Thane's speech. As he hacked, Shepard found herself clutching the bedrail, utterly helpless.

It wasn't until Kolyat bowed his head that she realized what Thane had wanted. In between spasms, Thane spoke, his voice smooth and serene. "Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand –"

Yet another, even more violent cough tore through Thane's lungs, interrupting his prayer. Kolyat, however, continued. "Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit."

A few beads of moisture were brought to Shepard's eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Not yet. Not now.

"Kolyat…" Thane's voice was drastically weaker now. Time was short, but the pride in Thane's tone was unmistakable. "You speak as the priests do. You have been spending time with them."

Wordlessly, the teal Drell crossed to stand beside Shepard, extracting a small book from his jacket as he did so. "I brought a prayer book." For the first time, he sounded hesitant. "Commander, would you care to join me?"

The offer stunned Shepard. Certainly she wasn't a religious woman, and Thane knew that. She couldn't fault Kolyat for not knowing, but…momentarily Shepard had to wonder if praying when you didn't believe would get you sent to hell.

But everything considered, she was going to hell anyway, so one more sin on the list wouldn't hurt. She nodded silently as Kolyat began.

"Kalahira, this one's heart is pure but beset by wickedness and contention."

Thankfully, there was an English version aside the traditional Drell script. Shepard heard her voice, as though from across a great distance.

"Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve."

She chanced a glance at Thane. He was still, his eyes fixed on her in an unwavering stare, as though trying to fix every inch of the human into his memory. Erin turned away, partly embarrassed by the attention and partly to prevent herself from crying.

"Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me."

As the words left her mouth, Thane turned his head to look out the window and for the last time, became still. Neither Drell nor Commander needed to say anything to know that Thane Krios had departed the room and was on his way across the sea.

With a light, trembling hand, Shepard moved forward and closed Thane's eyes. It was a distinctly human custom, but somehow it felt right. However, there was one last thing…

"Kolyat…" She turned to the teal Drell, who had a few shining tear tracks staining his cheeks, "Why did the last verse say 'she'?"

When Kolyat turned to Shepard, he seemed determined, his eyes dry and his voice strong. "The prayer was not for him, Commander. He has already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish…was for you."

The words were like twisting a knife deep into Shepard's chest. She stared down at Thane's body. It was impossible to fathom that only a year ago he was strong and fighting alongside her. There was a sort of surreal factor to the whole thing.

"Goodbye Thane." Her voice had dropped to nothing more than a hoarse whisper. "Meet you across the sea."

Silently, Shepard turned and left. No words were spoken to Kolyat; he knew how to contact her if he needed her. Right now, Shepard didn't want to think about that. Her mind was brimming with thoughts of Thane and his last wishes.

_His wish…was for you._

Of course it would be. It always was for her, wasn't it? Every action, every little thing Thane had done in the time he'd known her was to win her heart. And somehow, she had given it away to…

"Shepard."

Erin stopped, eyes wide at Garrus' voice. She hadn't expected to find him in the waiting room, standing by the same window where Thane had sat only a few months ago. His armor was still stained with blood and he kept swatting off medical staff who were attempting to patch him up. However, the Turian only had eyes for Shepard.

Somehow, she managed to navigate her way over to him. Without bothering with formalities, Erin Shepard wrapped her arms around Garrus and put her head into his chest. Wordlessly, Garrus enfolded her to him, resting his chin on the top of her head.

Shaking her head, Shepard took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't know Garrus…I just can't help but wonder…what if…if I just…"

"What?" Inquired Garrus gently, his voice humming melodiously. "If you loved him you could have saved Thane from Keprals? From that assassin? Shepard, we can't choose who or what the heart wants…and even if we could, that wouldn't change anything."

Although Garrus wasn't exactly an expert at humans, somehow he knew just what to say and do. Slowly he rubbed Shepard's back, his talons lightly raking the fabric. She shook her head again. "When did life give you all the answers?"

Chuckling, Garrus flared his mandibles into a smile. "It didn't, but every once in a while it lets me get one or two things right."


	68. Life Support

Short chapter is short.

Inspired by Life Support from the musical RENT

* * *

_**Life Support**_

Around Shepard there was a sort of chaos; C-Sec officers hurried to and fro, assisting with clean up and those who were wounded. However, she was indifferent to the noise and bustle of their activities. Legs dangling off the dock, she stared out at the stars, numb.

To see her like this broke Garrus' heart. He waited a moment, debating to approach her before ultimately sitting beside her, depositing some food between them. "I, ah, brought you food. Doctor Chakwas did say that you need to keep your strength up, especially since you're using your biotics more."

She was silent, but eventually Shepard reached for a packet of crackers. After a long moment she sighed. "Garrus, I was going to shoot Kaidan."

Garrus paused, ice blue eyes blinking rapidly at her. Still, Shepard did not meet his gaze, instead staring at where ships passed by. "I was going to shoot him and I probably wouldn't have lost any sleep over it. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Nothing." The word was out of his mouth instantly, and Garrus believed it wholeheartedly. "You're under stress. You just have to know that you're doing the right thing, even if sometimes that doesn't feel right."

At last she turned to look at him. "You think so?"

Abruptly, Garrus felt mildly uncertain. It was one of the first times in the past month or so he could recall Shepard ever asking him about something that didn't directly pertain to their mission. "I guess. Spirits Shepard, I don't know. We all have to believe in something, even if it's nothing more than wishful thinking."

The brunette chuckled, shaking her head. "Like Thane? Like Mordin? Garrus, how many friends have we buried so far? How many more will we bury before this is over? I'd like to believe, really I do, but the truth is I rely on the things I can see and know for sure."

Sliding closer, Garrus rested his arm alongside Shepard's, allowing them to ever so slightly touch. "Well, if I relied on that alone I would have to say that you should've been dead over three years ago now."

A laugh finally escaped Shepard, her ocean blue eyes turning to look at Garrus. "You've got me there. I guess I'm just…tired of seeing my friends die. I'm tired of having to put a gun to their face. When did the world get so black and white?"

Unable to help himself, Garrus leaned in and inhaled Shepard's aromatic vanilla musk. "It's not. I thought that for a long time, but a very smart commander finally knocked it into my head that it's not, especially when we're dealing with people we know."

Up close, Garrus could now see the tear stains that ran down Shepard's cheeks, some of the tiny white salt crystals that hadn't evaporated, the deep blue-black circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, some of the bruises that were already forming on her ivory skin, and a few speckles of blood she hadn't washed off just yet. The sight of how worn down she was made the Turian's heart clench and his stomach do a flip. "Shep, we'll be here for a while for repairs on the Normandy and while we wait on the crew to heal up. Can we…can we do something? Just you and me, just us."

"You sure?" Shepard raised her gaze to Garrus. "Where would we go? In case you missed it, we just shot up about half the Citadel."

"I'll find something. Just as long as you say yes." Murmured Garrus, nuzzling his bond mate. The gesture was almost desperate, a last ditch way to cheer up the woman who meant so much not just to the galaxy, but to this one Turian. Closing his eyes, Garrus silently willed Shepard to say yes, to take some time from being a hero and just be the woman he loved.

In return, her fingers twined through his. "So when are you picking me up?"


	69. Just Give Me A Reason

So the finishing of this story didn't happen before I finished school, but that's ok. New chapters will be a bit slow due to the new job that starts on Monday. Hope you all enjoy this.

Chapter inspired by P!nk's "Just Give Me A Reason".

* * *

_**Just Give Me A Reason**_

Garrus was purring. Shepard could feel the hum in his chest as they sat above the presidium, watching the cars fly past below. The sniper rifles lay a few feet away, forgotten along with the bottles of liquid they had been planning to use as targets.

For the first time in many months, Shepard felt at peace.

Shifting backwards, she sighed. "Okay, I'll admit, this is nice."

"You think?" Garrus leaned forward, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Shepard's slim waist. If the Turian was honest, this was what he had wanted: to see his bond mate relax if only for a moment.

Shepard tilted her head upwards and flashed Garrus a smile that made his heart pause momentarily. "Yeah. Thanks."

With a shake of his head, Garrus buried his face in Shepard's hair, his voice a melodic hum. "Erin, you don't need to thank me for anything. Not after everything you've done for us."

Silence fell between the two. Part of Garrus was tempted to let Shepard drift off to sleep right here. He could feel her heart rate as it pulsed under his talons and he knew she was getting to a point where she might simply drift off. But…

"You're having nightmares again?"

The question seemed to strike Shepard off guard since she shifted under Garrus' embrace and looked up at him. Ice blue eyes met ocean blue briefly before Garrus sighed. "You don't sleep much anymore Shep. I'm not the only one who's noticed. Chakwas is getting worried. I just…I don't know how to help."

Shepard sat up and turned so that while she was still sitting between Garrus' legs, she was facing him now. "Garrus, there's not much you can do about this."

Leaning forward, Garrus stared intently into Shepard's face. "Shepard…Erin, you're my bond mate. The person I want to spend what little time we might have left with. I can't sit here and do nothing."

He sighed, dropping his gaze. "Look, I understand that you think this is something you need to do on your own, but know that I won't stand by while you fall apart."

Erin paused to brush a strand of mahogany hair from her face before placing a hand on Garrus' arm. "Garrus…I know that I will stick with you as long as you'll have me, but know that I'm messed up. Maybe right now I'm not broken, but I'm bent way out of shape."

"But you're not broken yet." Murmured Garrus, his voice dropping as he finally pressed his forehead to Shepard's. "And hell, you're not the only one with scars Shepard."

This finally elicited a chuckle from Shepard. "That's true. If we're lucky, we might make one whole, functioning soldier."

Garrus laughed, the sound melodic and rustic at the same time. Unconsciously he trailed his talons down Shepard's back lightly. "Maybe. But can we at least try to make this work?"

"I did promise." Erin's eyes gleamed mischievously as she motioned towards the ring on her hand. "Even if it means starting a few steps back, I'll try. Besides, I'm a one-Turian-woman now."

Purring deep in his chest, Garrus pressed his head towards Shepard's. The warm vanilla smell wrapped around him and he could feel Shepard instinctively move towards him. "And I'm a one human-Turian. Besides, this one woman that I picked is a pretty awesome person. Reapers coming to kill us all or not."

At last, something about this seemed to elicit a giggle out of Shepard. Perhaps it was out of the absurdity of the situation, but somehow, Commander Erin Shepard was enjoying herself. Garrus decided to take advantage of that.

"Oh? What's that?" Garrus leaned forward, his voice dropping as his mandibles flared near Shepard's ear. "Is that a laugh I hear? Hmm?"

As he spoke, Garrus' talons skimmed down Shepard's slim sides, causing a small yelp of joy to escape from the brunette's lips. On instinct, Shepard flipped over to face Garrus, one leg tucking under herself and another wrapping around his waist . Face to face with him, she smiled and shook her head. "Garrus, can I do something?"

Heart pounding at how fast the spectre had moved, Garrus slowly nodded. Shepard moved her hand to his and took a deep breath. "I love you. And as much as I want to bind myself to you in whatever way we consider to be right, I need you to know that I would like to consider you and I…married? Is that the right term?"

"Bonded." Whispered Garrus, his eyes flickering across Shepard's features.

She nodded. "Yeah. That. Let's be that."

Now it was Garrus' turn to laugh, pulling Shepard close to himself. "Only because you asked. But when you defeat the Reapers and save us all, I'd still like to have a real ceremony."

Shepard paused, then smiled and planted a kiss on Garrus' nose. "You drive a hard bargain, Archangel. Let me up the terms. I agree, but then I get to meet your family."

Now Garrus froze, his eyes wide. He had some idea that it would come up eventually, but he'd kind of hoped that they could put off the whole family part for as long as possible. His mouth felt suddenly dry. His father was a strict man who was very tradioinal and although their relationship had been better in the past few months Garrus had strong doubts about him approving of his relationship with a human. "Shepard, I really don't know if you want….if I want to do that. You don't know them…"

"And you'll never know mine." Murmured Shepard. "I don't have family, so I'd like to know yours. Please, this is important to me in the same way that you feel its important to do a full ceremony."

Heaving a sigh, Garrus couldn't help but admit that Shepard had a good point. She'd never been shy with him about the fact that her family was no longer around, but it had never fully occurred to him that meeting his family would be so important. He sighed.

"You drive a hard bargain too, Commander." Garrus' mandibles flared into a smirk. "Just one more thing before we seal the deal…even if it's not going to help, I'd like to stay with you at night. Maybe it won't help, I'm no doctor, but if it could maybe take away some of the nightmares it would at least make you feel a bit better."

A heavy sigh escaped Shepard. "Garrus…are you sure? I mean, the crew…"

"Shep." The blue eyed Turian shook his head. "This could be the end of the world. Spirits, I don't know if we'll live to see tomorrow. I doubt us sharing a bed matters much now. Besides, the crew probably knows already."

There was a long pause, and finally Shepard nodded. "Okay. Only because it's you, you know that, right?"

Even so, Garrus couldn't help himself but hum his approval. Shepard sounded reluctant, but she was still smiling.


	70. Good Life

Sorry all! Been a busy time with starting the new job and getting sick and moving. But hope you all enjoy this! If you haven't found me on tumblr, you should do that now.

Chapter based off Onerepublic's "Good Life"

* * *

_**Good Life**_

Shepard was in a good mood as she descended to the prescidium of the Citadel, Garrus' voice still humming in her ear and the ghost of his hand on hers still leaving a faint warmth. By all accounts, she knew she should feel apprehensive, but there was almost nothing that could really dampen her mood at the moment.

So it was with an easy smile that she slid into a seat across from Kaidan Alenko, who turned to look at her. "Hey, wasn't sure you were going to show."

"You asked, figured it was the least I could do." Shrugged Shepard as she glanced down at the menu.

Kaidan had one in his hand and he set it aside with a sigh. "I'm surprised they can even get supplies for a menu like this."

Her tone a little more wry now, Shepard arched an eyebrow as she skimmed the list. "Probably better not to ask."

The biotic laughed and settled forward, his gaze on the construction going on across the way. "I'm glad that you came and that we're taking the time to do this, I really am Shepard. I could use a sanity check."

Pushing her hair out of her face, Shepard smiled and nodded. "I hear you there. Things have been pretty crazy lately." A heavy, silent pause fell between the two. Leaning forward, Shepard tried to catch Kaidan's deep brown eyes, a small furrow of concern to her brown. "What's on your mind?"

At last Kaidan's shoulders slumped and he met Shepard's deep blue gaze. "You know, my life flashed in front of my eyes on Mars…and there weren't enough moments like this," he averted his gaze now, "…with people I care about."

Shepard froze as Kaidan lifted his eyes back to hers. It was so obvious he was trying to be careful about what he said and how he acted. There was still some tension from the last time they'd openly gone down this path, when he'd asked and she'd publicly rejected him. Both parties would have to tread lightly from here out.

"So how have you been feeling these days then?"

A smile pulled at Kaidan's mouth, and although he tried to hide the expression, it shone through in his eyes. "Honestly? I'm feeling up to whatever the Reapers throw at me. And grateful that I could get you to sit down for half a second and relax."

Unbidden, a chuckle escaped Shepard's lips. "Yeah, well, I figured while I was on a roll I might as well."

Even so, she leaned forward, her blue eyes solemn. "But I think it's good. About time we sat down and had a heart to heart. What're you drinking?"

It was clear that Kaidan did not expect this, since he leaned back a bit and blinked before fumbling for words. "If you're trying to butter me up Shepard, it might take a nice steak sandwich too."

"So…" Inquired Shepard, arching her eyebrows.

A flicker of hesitation sparked over Kaidan's face before he smirked. "A shot of whiskey and a good old Canadian lager. Think they have it?"

Skimming the menu, Shepard wrinkled her nose. "More likely they'll have Batarian Shard wine, but I'll look."

"At my parents place in Vancouver," The dark haired biotic leaned forward, staring at Shepard's hands, lost in thought as he spoke, "we drank more than a few beers on their balcony, looking over English Bay. Beautiful view…But you know what?"

Still skimming the drink menu, Shepard gave a non-commital sort of hum, mentally wondering if their beer selection was as good as the wine one.

"I feel good about our chances."

Perhaps it was his serene tone, or the pure honesty in his voice, but Shepard glanced up, honestly surprised. "Yeah?"

With a little wave of his hand, Kaidan nodded. "Yeah. Lets me sleep better at night."

In full commander mode, Shepard leaned forward, her expression darkening. "You're not sleeping?"

Once more, Kaidan shrugged as though the question was of no consequence. "Maybe a little restless. But we didn't come here to talk about work."

"Here's to that!" Sighed Shepard, letting her shoulders relax. It was moments like this where she had to physically remind her body to relax.

Now both were leaning in close, as though conspiring together. Kaidan clasped his hands together. "Let me tell you something Shepard. I'm not the kind of guy who's the life of the party, who has a lot of friends."

"Come on," the brunette spectre placed her hands flat on the table. "You're selling yourself short."

Mildly amused, Kaidan nodded, "No, it's true. I mean, some people even find my, ah, integrity annoying. Just…look, I want you to know that I consider you a friend. Okay? A good one."

Shepard could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Of all the thousand ways she'd wanted this conversation to go, this was not one of them. Momentarily she wondered how socially appropriate it would be to throw down a smokescreen before Erin decided against it.

Kaidan continued. "Damn. This was way less awkward in my mind. Mostly, I guess I just wanted you to know that I admire you as a commander and I value your friendship."

It was only after taking a deep breath that Shepard found her voice again. "Kaidan, know that no matter what has come between us in the past, I have always considered you a good friend. Please understand that."

"You mean what I said last time we met like this." Kaidan murmured, his voice low. "Shepard, I don't know what you want me to say about that. Do you want me to say that I'll stop loving you? Because I don't know if I can do that."

Shaking her head, the brunette sighed. "I'm not asking you to. I'm just letting you know the way I see it and if I were going to ask you anything, I'd ask that you respect what I've said."

With a shake of his head, Kaidan met Shepard's eyes. "Look, I'm not dumb enough to get between you and someone you care about, much less a Turian and his girlfriend."

It was Shepard's laugh that broke the building tension as she leaned back, allowing the sound to fly free from her lungs. Even Kaidan began to laugh after a moment of astonishment. They only quieted themselves as a young Asari waitress brought over two steak sandwiches and two tall glasses of beer.

"Sorry, it was the closest lager they had to Canadian." Grinned Erin, lifting her class so that the liquid glowed with an almost orange light. "Not to be in bad taste, but it's a Mars Autumn lager. But this is nice, either way. What did you call it…a sanity check?"

At this, Kaidan paused, then dissolved back into laughter before raising his glass to Shepard's. "Yeah, sanity check."


	71. You Picked Me

Long time! Been busy, work, but I'm trying. Sorry if this is a bit fluffy, I really need to re-play the game to get back into it.

Inspired by A Fine Frenzy's "You Picked Me"

* * *

_**You Picked Me**_

Garrus Vakarian had enough. He sighed, clenching his talons firmly against the console where his calibrations flashed up at him. It had been hours since he'd seen Shepard, since she had been busy with settling Tali back into the Normandy. However, if Garrus knew his bond mate, she was still working hard at something. Most likely planning the assault on the Geth server that Liegon had alluded to.

But at this point, he'd had enough. Erin Shepard was making herself sick with exhaustion trying to run this war on her own. They'd already had a very sobering discussion about the reality not just happening on Palaven, but on Earth and everywhere else.

It was time he started living up to his title of 'fiancé'. At least, that's what Shepard told him his title was now that they were engaged.

Swiftly, Garrus abandoned his calibrations and headed for the elevator. His first stop was down in the Engineering bay, peering around the pipes to peer at Tali. "Is Shepard down here?"

As she turned to face him, Garrus could almost feel Tali rollin her eyes. "The first time we've spoken and not been in danger and that's what you say? No 'hello' or 'good to see you again'? I see."

Garrus couldn't help but allow a smile to pull at his mandibles. "All right, yeah, good to see you too. But I'm looking for Shepard, any idea where she is?"

"You're worried, aren't you?" Tali leaned against the pipes, her arms crossed over her chest. "She is really working hard."

The sigh that escaped Garrus was low and sincere. "She is. But she forgets that we need her alive and functioning to win this. _I_ need her to be at one hundred percent."

Tali sighed and nodded. "She went up to the CIC to do some more work for the assault on the Geth server. If you're going up there, be careful to pull her out of there so she's not embarrassed."

With a quick flutter of the mandibles, Garrus nodded. "Thanks Tali, you're the best."

He darted out, back towards the elevator, ice blue eyes bright. In public, especially in front of the crew, Shepard was careful to keep their inter-species relationship on the down low. Although she'd be okay with it on most other occasions, Shepard would have loved to go public about her and Garrus, in the middle of a war was no time to announce that she was dating a Turian, much less engaged to him.

True to Tali's information, Shepard was hunched over the CIC, face illuminated orange by the screen. Sidling up to her, Garrus was careful to keep the distance between the two professional, but bordering on just a hair too close. "Shepard, may I borrow you for a little bit? I was hoping you could help me with something."

Turning her face, Shepard met Garrus' gaze and the Turian inhaled sharply though his nose. The orange light illuminated the almost bruise-like dark circles beneath her eyes. "Garrus, can it wait until I'm done with all this? I have a few more pages to compile and then…"

"No," Murmured Garrus, his hand sliding to her elbow, the pressure firm but insistent, "I really need to have a private discussion with you about something. It's really important."

Shepard opened her mouth to protest, then closed it. Slowly, she nodded. "All right Vakarian, let's head up to my office. It'll give us some privacy."

Garrus released Shepard's elbow and nodded. "Thanks Shepard, I just need someone to bounce ideas off of."

Together they strode to the elevator, Garrus only a half step behind Shepard. Around them crew memebers glanced up, nodded at the pair, then went back to their work. It was only when they were in the elevator that Garrus couldn't contain himself anymore. He spun and enveloped Shepard to his chest, deeply inhaling her warm vanilla scent.

In his arms, Shepard relaxed and laced her arms behind Garrus' back. "Okay, I'm going to make a crazy guess here, but you didn't really want to talk to me about something."

"No," Murmured Garrus into Shepard's hair, his eyes closed contentedly, "I just figured you needed an excuse to take a break. Especially considering what you're going to do with the Geth. Plus, all this stress…"

"Garrus, it's a war. It's not supposed to be relaxing."

"True," The elevator slowed to a halt, "But that doesn't mean you can't get some down time."

Wordlessly, the pair strode into the room and Garrus led Shepard down to the bed. He slid back, pulling Shepard onto the bed with him, nestling her into his lap, between his legs. Shepard sighed, a few strands of her dark chocolate hair falling over her face. "Okay, I'll admit, I need some more down time."

A deep, almost melodic chuckle emitted from Garrus' chest. "You think?"

Turning, Shepard arched one of her eyebrows. "Hey, what better excuse to see you more often?"

"True." Hummed Garrus, trailing his talons down Shepard's arms, more concerned with the way Shepard's heart was beating against his chest and how her skin felt. Thanks to medi-gel Shepard was mostly without scars, but every once in a while there was a small pale spot where a bullet had once piereced the flesh. "How long has it been since we've done this? Just…sat here together."

Content, Shepard sighed. "I have no idea. Is that bad that I can't remember?"

Garrus ducked his head so that when he exhaled it ticked the back of Shepard's neck. "Maybe. It's probably good for me to remind you how amazing you are and how you should have some time to yourself."

"You know I still don't understand you." Quipped Shepard as she turned to curl closer to the Turian. "Any Turian woman could have been yours.."

Rolling his ice blue eyes, Garrus smiled. "And I'm telling you, there's no reason I would want one of them. You are the one I want. End of discussion."

The brunette spectre sighed. "You've signed up to marry a workaholic, traumatized, human Spectre who has Prothean bullshit rattling in my head, not to mention I'm signing up to throw myself on the front lines almost on an hourly basis. Still time to bail if you want to."

In spite of himself, Garrus laughed clasping Shepard to his chest. "Erin, I am not even slightly interested in leaving you. And when this war is over, I look forward to making you a very happy Mrs. Vakarian."

"And your family will be there." Murmured Shepard, running her hand along the scarred cheek. "They're going to make it through this war, I can feel it."

At the mention of family, Garrus' heart lurched. Even though he and his father had worked together to help defend Palaven, that was nothing compared to the years of being estranged from each other. Sure his sister might support it, and maybe his mother, but that still was a bit much. "Shepard…I don't know how that will work out."

Shifting so that she could pull the blankets around her slim shoulders, Shepard turned her ocean blue eyes up to Garrus. "Look, I know, there's still a whole lot of 'what if' involved here, but IF we make it through, and IF your family is willing to hear you out, I want to ask if they'll be there. It means a lot to me if they'd be there."

Garrus planted a kiss on Shepard, reslishing the warmth on his mouth. "For you, anything."

"Good." Shepard slipped her hands around his waist. "Then do me one more thing. Join me down here for a nap. You've managed to teach me that maybe this war won't be won today, but it can't be won without getting some sleep."


	72. Radioactive

Hey all, sorry it's been a while. Lots going on. I'm actually struggling through a cold right now, so this chapter isn't spectacular. I may go back and revise if you guys have suggestions.

Inspired by Imagine Dragons "Radioactive"

* * *

_**Radioactive**_

"Shepard!" Tali's voice tore above the metallic clatter of the Reaper, echoing the desperation that Garrus could not give words to. However, there was no listening to Shepard as she dove down a level to take on the Reaper.

Garrus lurched forward, fully intent on joining his bond mate, but he was yanked back abruptly by Liegon. About to protest, Garrus was silenced as the Reaper's beam sliced through the ground where he'd just been not moments before.

The Geth shook it's head, the single, lamp-like eye structure focused on Garrus. "Suggest remaining here, Vakarian-Officer. It is dangerous."

He could not help the snarl that built up in his throat. "But Shepard's down there! She'll die if we do nothing."

Now Tali laid a hand on Garrus, her eyes glowing behind the violet visor. "Garrus, Shepard is the only one who has the targeting beam. We couldn't do anything, even if we were down there. Our only option is to stay out of her way."

Turning his gaze to stare at where Shepard was precariously standing on the edge, already taking aim while the Reaper's beam skimmed only feet from her, the Turian had to admit there was a certain sense in Tali's words. Still, that did nothing to quell the fear that had a solid hand around his insides. At last, Garrus nodded and stepped back towards the hovercar that Liegon had acquired. "Fine, but not too far. If she needs backup, we're all Shepard has."

But even as Garrus spoke, the Reaper reeled backwards while the fleets bombarded it from above. He could faintly hear Shepard let out a half shriek, half battle cry as it stumbled. The image made him smile, in spite of everything.

Even if she was dancing on the brink of death itself, Shepard found a way to laugh.

This small reprive was short lived when the Reaper abruptly reared close, it's crimson eye staring down at Shepard. Heart thundering, Garrus leaned over the edge, vaguely aware that Tali had wrapped an arm around his waist and was trying to hold him back.

Time slowed as he stared at Shepard. She stood precariously on the edge, feet and shoulders squred up with the Reaper in front of her. Her chocolate hair was blown back and she aimed the targeting laser without it budging a single inch. But what struck Garrus was her expression. There was no fear on her features, no snarl of anger.

No, in the face of almost certain death, Commander Erin Shepard wore a small smirk of victory.

There was only an instant between the beep of the laser gaining its target and when the impact came, obscuring Shepard in clouds of dust and smoke. It wasn't until later that Garrus was told that the noise he made was like none any of the crew – much less poor Tali, who was right next to him – had ever heard from him before, not even when he'd received the news about Shepard's death aboard the SR1.

Although it was only minutes, Garrus could not calm down until he had scaled down the rocky crags and, one the Reaper had died, pulling Shepard as tight to his chest as he could.

Quietly, Shepard laughed and returned the embrace. "Sorry if that worried you."

"At this point," Hummed Garrus as he slowly released her, "If you hadn't I would have been worried. But James is already making plans to go to the Citadel and buy you as many shots as you can drink of something called tequila."

Shepard wrinkled her nose at the mention. "Oh god, I hope not. If he's serious I'm calling on you to get me out of that."

Casually placing his arm around Shepard's shoulders, Garrus chuckled. "No promises, but I'll see what I can do. I'm sure if I tell James that you and I are having a …personal discussion in your quarters…"

"Our quarters," Corrected Shepard, but there wa s a small spark of laugther in her gaze that had been absent for longer than Garrus cared to admit. "I don't care what you tell him, just don't let him give me tequila. I hate that stuff."

With only a quick check to see that Tali was preoccupied with the newly evolved Geth, Garrus dipped his head towards Shepard, stopping her in her tracks. "But in all seriousness Shepard, what were you thinking when you went down there? That Reaper could've killed you, and there's no Lazarus project to bring you back this time."

Ducking her head, Shepard sighed. "To be honest, I wasn't. I just knew that if we let that Reaper go the Quarians would've lost their homeworld before they even got started. I thought about Earth and I couldn't just let it go."

Silently, Garrus dropped his hand from Shepard's shoulder to her hands. As she quietly took them in her own, Erin closed her sapphire eyes and sighed. "You're pissed because I was reckless, I get that. But at the same time, if someone had the opportunity to save Palaven before things got really bad, wouldn't you have wanted them to take it?"

The thought stopped any objections Garrus had, his mandibles open for a moment before he exhaled slowly and dropped his head to hers. "I guess I would. But at the same time, I don't want to lose you."

"You won't." Eyes determined, Shepard squeezed Garrus' hands. "I promise, this war won't get me."


	73. Come Back Down

Another chapter! Not my best work, I know, but I'm trying to get back into it while being sick. Ah well. I try. We're jumping to the whole post-Thessia mission stuff, particularly the whole "Rough War" scene with Garrus.

Inspired by Greg Laswell (featuring Sara Bareilles) "Come Back Down"

* * *

_**Come Back Down**_

"We'll get though this," Murmured Garrus, his hand on Shepard's hip. Even as the words left his mouth, Garrus felt a little guilty. What right did he have to promise that to her when they both knew that in spite of all their efforts and bravado, they might not make it out alive.

Even Shepard chuckled and nudged Garrus with her shoulder. "Didn't you tell me something about platitudes getting old?"

He sighed. "Maybe you're right Shepard, but we have to believe in something, don't we?"

The aqua light from the screens illuminated Shepard's face as Garrus glanced down at her. Not a few days ago she had proclaimed to him on Rannoch that this war wouldn't take her from him, but now he wasn't so confident. There was something different to her features, something about the way she carried herself….and Garrus didn't like it.

Leaning down, he caught Shepard's eyes with his ice blue ones. "Shepard, what are you thinking?"

"The Crucible…" she murmured, her gaze far away from the Main Battery. "If we had that data, we could have ended this here and now. We could have saved Thessia, Palaven, Earth…"

"Would have, could have…" Whispered Garrus, his talons already reaching for Erin's hands, "But we didn't. And we'll get Kai Leng. And the Illusive Man. You can't let this get you down, not now."

At last raising her eyes to him, Shepard sighed and shook her hair from her face. "I know, but I just keep thinking, if there was a way for us to end this with minimal losses, I –"

"Don't." The anger and snarl that rumbled from Garrus surprised even the Turian. "I kow what you're thinking of saying, and don't you dare say that."

Undeterred, Shepard frowned. "All I'm saying Garrus, is that if there were a way to sacrifice one for billions…"

Agitated, Garrus released Shepard's hands and paced towards the doorway. "If that were possible we all know who would be the first one to jump in! Shepard, I can't…"

"You can't?" Her voice, which had been calm up to this point, hitched up a few decibels. "Garrus, this is beyond just what you want! If there was a way to save Palaven by sacrificing me, one simple human life, wouldn't you have told the Primarch to do it?"

"No!"

In the silence, Garrus tried to get his breathing back to normal. Slowly, as though he were afraid of what he would do, he stepped closer, his voice low. "No. Shepard, you are so much more than a life. You are more important than you think, and not just to me. I want you here, with me, to grow old and gray with, yes. But so many other people need you too. If I let you get yourself killed and there was something I could have done about it…I couldn't live with myself. I wouldn't be able to."

When she did not say anything, Garrus slowly took another step closer. "Erin, I wish that my homeworld wasn't burning. I wish yours wasn't either. But that doesn't mean I'd be willing to sacrifice the most important person in my life to make that happen."

Finally, Shepard closed the gap, ducking her head into Garrus' shoulder. Her voice was muffled by his armor when she did speak. "I know. I just wonder if that's what everyone expects me to do at this point…go out in a blaze of glory so that everyone else can survive."

"That's not true and you know it," hummed Garrus as he used one hand to stroke Shepard's hair and pull her close with the other. "You said Anderson told Joker to take care of you…he told me the same thing. He told me that if anyone was going to pull us through this hell, it was going to be you. So don't you ever think that you're expendible."

Although he didn't see it, Garrus could almost feel the smile on Shepard's face as she shook her head. "He knew me better than anyone I suppose. Anderson might have a point."

Pleased, Garrus allowed himself a small hum of happiness. "That's more like it. You've got a lot of people rooting for you. Anderson, Hackett, not to mention the whole crew."

"Did you know Hackett was the one who gave me my N7 reccomendation?" The brunette pulled back to look at Garrus, the haunted look not quite gone from her eyes, but at least she was distracted from it.

Frowning, Garrus shook his head. "No. You did say that Anderson practically raised you. I always thought he was the one who recommended you."

Shepard pulled Garrus with her to sit on one of the crates nearby, which Garrus was more than happy to do so. He settled so that the human spectre was half sitting in his lap while she spoke. "If Anderson had his way, I would've stayed well out of the line of fire. However, when Hackett sent though the recommendation, he finally admitted that I was growing up and didn't put up much of a fight when I accepted."

"What was it like, growing up with Anderson?" The question had sprung, unbidden to Garrus' mouth but he couldn't stop it once the words rolled off his tongue.

If it bothered Shepard, she didn't let on. She smiled serenely. "It was…well, all I knew. He had this place on the Citadel, but he wasn't there too much. By the time I started living there I stayed in the Alliance barracks, but he kept a room at his apartment just for me. We'd do things together for holidays or special occasions, but we didn't see each other much. Still, Anderson always made time to make sure I was okay and teach me the stuff I needed to know. He taught me about sacrifices, right after Akuze. It was a hard lesson, but I needed it."

Garrus sighed and smiled. "If he helped you to be who you are today, I can't thank him enough. He sounds like he would've been a great father."

"He was. To me at least," Admitted Shepard, her smile a little sad. "He was tough but fair. I think that when this is all over, I'll take him somewhere nice."

"He's not coming on the honeymoon with us."

The laugh that erupted from Shepard's throat was pure and joyous. It was a relief for the Turian to hear it. "No, Garrus, he's not coming with."

Pulling her close briefly, Garrus smiled, his mandibles flaring wide. "Good. Because you both are making it through, and after that we can do what we want. Promise?"

There was a moment of hesitation that Garrus couldn't help but notice. Shepard averted her eyes and Garrus could feel her heart pound beneath his talons. When she spoke, her tone wasn't enough to fully convince the Turian of her sincerity. "Promise."


End file.
